


A Warrior’s Way: Beauty from Pain

by wolfjillyjill



Series: A Warrior's Way: Fighting for Our Survival [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Blood and Violence, Clexa, Clexen, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Love, Luntavia (background relationship), MMA!Anya, MMA!Lexa, MMA!Luna, MMA!Ontari, MMA-AU, Mixed Martial Arts, Mixed Martial Arts-AU, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Unstable Relationships, Protective Lexa, Ranya (background relationship), Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Single Parents, Slow Build, Slow Burn, UFC, artist!Clarke, badass!lexa, mamabear Clarke, spunky!Aden
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-06-08 13:30:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 106,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6856996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfjillyjill/pseuds/wolfjillyjill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Lexa “The Commander” Woods was a rising star in the UFC Women’s Bantamweight Division. Her career was at an all-time high, with no sign of stopping in sight. Growing up as an orphan, fighting was in her blood and nothing was gonna keep her from reaching her dream of becoming the next Women’s Bantamweight Champion. One day on her way home from training she sees a young boy, Aden, being bullied and runs to his rescue. Little did she know that by saving this kid, a new door in her life would open.</p>
<p>…aka Lexa is the hottest Women’s MMA fighter on the scene right now and she gets to meet two of her biggest fans by chance. One an adorable yet enthusiastic kid, Aden, and the other an up and coming beautiful blonde artist, Clarke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…aka the Clexa & Clexen (I think that’s a thing) MMA AU story no one asked for, but I’m dumb excited to write.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everyone’s Got a Hero

Chapter 1: Everyone’s Got a Hero

_“Left, right, straight.”_

**_‘Contact. 1…2…3’_ **

_“Good. Now left, right, right, left.”_

**_‘Breathe. Contact. 1…2…3…4’_ **

_“Not bad, but more power. C’mon give me a right, left, straight, uppercut”_

**_‘You got this. 1…2…3…Finish!’_ **

The force of the uppercut pushes the large man back. _“Excellent! That’s what I like to see.”_ He removes one of his gloves and ruffles the hair of the slightly shorter brunette in front of him.

_“Stop it Gustus!”_ The young girl laughs slightly at the bearded man towering over her.

_“I’m just proud of you Lexa.”_ His deep voice replies. _“You’re the first female fighter coming from our camp to reach the rank of number 4. You’re basically in the running to face the champ at this point.”_

Lexa smiled at the brolly man whom she’s always seen as a surrogate father for most of her life. To hear him praise her with such pride increased her confidence tenfold. _“I appreciate the support Guss, but you can’t keep treating me like a kid in front of everyone after every training session. All you do is give Luna and Anya more reasons to tease me.”_

Gustus threw his head back, laughter consuming his every being. _“Then that means you need to train your mind to be as resilient as your body.”_ He hits his right fist against his chest in a drumming motion.

_“My mind is strong Guss. My patience is not. I fear one day I’ll have to choke them out to earn their silence.”_ She smirked wickedly.

_“Like that would ever happen!”_ Lexa whips her head around to see Luna and Anya approaching the training area that she and Gustus had been occupying. _“I know Luna here still needs work on her ground game, but I on the other hand can take you anywhere at any time.”_ Anya gave Lexa a smug look.

_“The fuck Anya! Whose side are you on here?”_ Luna says as she lightly punches Anya’s arm.

_“Mine.”_ Anya responds, lifting her chin up in the air.

Lexa laughed as the tag team had now seemingly turned on each other in a split second. _“I’ll take you both on.”_ She began walking towards her two competitive camp mates. _“Right here.”_ She raises both her fists. _“Right fucking now.”_ A confident smile finds its way on her face.

Both Anya and Luna return the expression and begin to mimic her actions, but were stopped when a stern voice raised in the background. _“Enough!”_ Gustus yelled. _“Save your energy girls.”_ All three huffed as they lowered their hands, turned their attention to their head coach, and stood upright. _“The gym is closing in a few so I want you all to cool your heels. When we meet for training in the next two days, only then will I allow you all to prove your accolades to each other. Now to the showers with all of you, and head on home. Dismissed.”_

All three women nodded to his request and turned towards the showers. After a half hour they were fully attended to, gathered their belongings and headed towards the exit. The warm spring breeze welcomed them as they stepped out of the gym into the midday setting sun. Luna waved her goodbyes to Lexa and Anya then started walking down towards the parking lot to her car. The other two walked together towards the opposite direction. Both lived in the neighborhood so the travel was no hassle for them.

Despite their earlier encounter, Anya, Luna and Lexa were childhood best friends. All be it a friendship born out of their equally competitive natures, they had always supported each other and been there for all the tough times they endured together. They discussed and joked about their past week and made fun of the fact at how Gustus could randomly switch between being their hard-ass, no-nonsense trainer to the biggest teddy bear on the planet. The latter especially occurred when it came to his ‘Warrior Women’, as he so commonly referred them to, Lexa, Anya and Luna. All three girls were orphans whom grew up together in the same orphanage. Anya (26), was older than Lexa and Luna by two years (both 24), but they were all very similar in maturity and drive. All three girls found their passion in Mixed Martial Arts and made a pact to rise to the top of the UFC Women’s Bantamweight division under the same camp.

Though all three were highly skilled in their arts, it was Lexa whom had achieved the highest praise of them all. In her professional UFC debut, she finished her opponent with a superman knockout punch to the jaw within 32 seconds of the very first round. An impressive victory to anyone who dared to enter the octagon. Her fire didn’t stop there however; she has had 7 more fights since then and remains undefeated in her professional career. She ranked 4th in her division, while her friends weren’t far behind with Anya standing at 8th and Luna at 11th. Each woman was there for each other, in their victories and loses. Proudly sitting front row at each event, cheering on their warrior sisters to no end.

As Anya and Lexa approached the corner of the block they said their goodbyes and went in separate directions to their homes. The coming night air was relaxing to Lexa so she decided to cut through the park towards her home. She was half way through when she spotted some commotion near a small bridge crossing.

_“What the…”_ She squeezed her eyes a little tighter in order to better see what was happening. From what she could see a young boy, couldn’t be younger than 14 years old, was being surrounded by a group of three boys much larger than him. One of the boys raised his arm and struck the young boy across his face, making him cry out in pain.

_“Oh shit!”_ Without hesitation, Lexa dropped her duffle bag to the ground and sprinted towards the group of kids. As she got closer she could hear the young boy pleading for them to leave him alone, while the older boys kept pressing him to give up his belongings. **_‘Fucking punks.’_**

Once Lexa had reached them she could see the same older boy about to raise his arm to strike again. **_‘Oh hell nah.’_** She quickly snatched the aggressors arm out of the air from behind and twisted it into his back. She kicked the back of his calf as she held onto his arm, forcing him to fall on one knee. The other boys looked in shock as they saw the smaller woman effortlessly overpowering the boy. Once she had all of their attention she spoke with fire in her voice. _“Now listen here you pieces of shit. You’ll leave this boy alone at once and get your asses out of my sight!”_

The two older boys did not respond, so she further twisted the arm of the one she had in her grasp, causing him to yelp out in pain. _“Must I repeat myself or would you prefer I break the arms off of each and every one of you!?”_ She growled.

_“Okay! Okay! You got it!”_ Yelled the boy she was holding, whom she now assumes is the leader of this band of punks. After his response the other two raised their hands up in the air as a show of surrender.

She gave them a devilish grin. _“Good.”_ She let go of the boy and pushed him towards his friends. She removed the hood of her sweater from her head so they could look into her face. _“Remember who I am, because the next time I hear or see any of you little mother fuckers anywhere near this kid or anyone else in a threating manner, I will not hesitate to snap the necks of each and every one of you.”_ She says as she points to each one. _“Are we clear?”_ The boys swallowed hard and nodded their head in agreement. _“Excellent. NOW GO!”_ She shouted, and the boys took off without any hesitation.

Lexa smirked at herself proudly as she watched the misfits running for their lives. **_‘That should keep them in line for a while at least.’_** She thought. She turned her attention to look down at the young boy still laying on the ground with a swollen red mark on his face, evidence of the punch that was delivered to him. Her expression softened as she saw the small tears fall from his eyes that it seemed he was fighting to hold back. She approached the boy and extended her hand for him to grasp. _“Everything’s alright now.”_ He took her hand and she lifted him to his feet. _“I doubt those assholes will come anywhere near you in the future.”_ She gave him a reassuring smile.

The boy wiped his face of any remaining tears. _“T-thank y-you…”_ He spoke shyly.

Lexa nodded.

_“Wait a minute…”_ The boy looked closer at her face. _“A-are you…Lexa Woods!?”_ His eyes glazed with curiosity.

Lexa laughed slightly and raised her right hand. _“Guilty, kiddo.”_

The boy’s face lit up instantly. _“Holy crap! Y-you’re, you’re The Commander!!!”_

Lexa laugh a little more at hearing the boy reference her by her ring nickname. _“Thaaaaaat’s me!”_ She says as she points to herself with her thumbs. _“And who might you be, kid?”_

The scrunched his face. _“I’m no kid, I’m 13 years old.”_ He smirked. _“My name is Aden. Aden Griffin, and I’m your biggest fan!”_

_“Aden huh? And you’re my biggest fan?”_

He nodded enthusiastically. _“Yup! Me and my mom were there for your debut match and we’ve been watching your fights on TV ever since. Sometimes I practice your superman punch on the punching bag in my room.”_ His smile grew wide and confident as he shared his thoughts. _“I want to be as awesome of a fighter as you some day. Maybe then the older boys will stop picking on me.”_

Lexa couldn’t help but chuckle at her young fan. _“Why me though? Why not try to be like Chuck Liddell, Rampage Jackson, or GSP? They’re fighting legends.”_

_“Yeah, but you’re The Commander. Undefeated in your last 7 fights. I bet you’ll be champ soon and stay champ forever!”_ He exclaimed with great excitement.

Lexa’s heart warmed as the young boy praised her, completely convinced she was the icon he wanted to be. The very thought made her smile. _“I’m honored you have such confidence in me little man. Thank you.”_

Aden nodded.

_“Well it’s kind of late, why were you out here by yourself?”_ She asked curiously.

_“I was on my home from after school program when Sid, John and Tripp, the boys you scared off, tried to take my stuff from me.”_ Aden’s face started t sadden as he thought back to the moment that occurred a few minutes ago.

_“Do they target you often?”_

Aden shook his head up and down, his eyes littered with sadness.

Lexa bent down on one knee to match dirty blonde haired boy’s height. She used her hand to lift Aden’s chin, matching his blue eyed gaze with her green ones. _“Well fear no more Aden. Now you’ve got The Commander at your side. Those boys won’t bother you ever again, and should anyone try to mess with you, just let me know and I’ll come to your rescue.”_

Aden’s head rose, joy glistening in his eyes. _“Really!??”_

_“Really, really.”_ Lexa smiled.

Aden launched himself towards her, capturing her in tight hug and held on with all his strength. Lexa returned the hug with a grip of her own, patting him lightly on his back.

After a moment she finally broke away from his arms and spoke. _“Now, why don’t we get you home little man? Do you live far?”_

Aden shook his head side to side. _“Nah uh, me and my mom live on the other side of the park.”_

_“Great! So do I.”_ She stood up, and extended her hand for Aden to grasp. Once he did she walked over to her duffle bag and swung it over her other shoulder. She turned her attention back to Aden. _“Let’s get you home so your mom doesn’t worry, okay?”_

Aden nodded with a huge grin on his face, which made Lexa smile as well. Then she walked back on her original path, now with Aden in hand with her.  

It didn’t take long for them to reach Aden’s block, which as surprisingly only three blocks down from her own. As they approach his house she took a moment to look it over. It was a one floor house, which Lexa assumed had a basement, as they often do. It was painted Ivory white around sides with a greyish rooftop, decent sized windows with off-blue borders. There was a backyard and front garden. There was fencing around the entrance to the backyard but none in the front, with a medium sized driveway that currently had a Toyota Camry park within it.

**_‘Lucky kid.’_** Lexa thought to herself as she thought about how she dreamed to have a home like this growing up. Part of her was a little jealous, but she quickly shook that away from her mind as they approached the red door that led to the inside of the house.

_“This is it.”_ Aden said as he looked up at his idol.

Lexa smiled at him. _“Well go on then. Ring the bell.”_

Aden nodded then let go of her hand so he could ring the doorbell. He pressed the button a few times until they both heard footsteps heading towards the door.

The door began to open, accompanied by feminine voice. _“Aden that better be you cause it’s very la…”_ The woman’s voice was cut off when she saw that her son was not alone.

Lexa fought the urge to let her jaw drop as she stared at the beautiful young blonde, blue-eyed woman that answered the door. She was dressed in a white tank top that made it rather obvious that she was not ‘supported’ underneath and blue polo pajama pants. **_‘I think this is the hottest mom I’ve ever seen.’_** She thinks to herself, fighting to keep herself from drooling.

Clarke’s eyes widened as she realized whom was standing at her front door. _“Holy fucking shit, Lexa Woods!? THE LEXA “THE COMMANDER” WOODS!?”_

Lexa straightened her posture to appear a bit more mature and smiled. _“In the flesh. You must be Aden’s mom.”_

Clarke was at a loss for words, so she just nodded in agreement.

Lexa gracefully approached the blonde and extended her hand out. _“It’s a pleasure to meet you, miss…?”_

Clarke shook her head out of her stupor and gently clasped Lexa’s hand. _“G-Griffin. C-Clarke Griffin.”_


	2. “Life, is a Game of Luck”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a little while since Lexa met Aden and Clarke. She’s never been one to get too close to her fans, but she’s finding it surprising how quickly the two have been growing on her. P.S. Aden is just adorable.

Chapter 2: “Life, is a Game of Luck”

_“AGAIN!”_ Gustus barks sternly.

Lexa repositions herself and focuses on the punching bag in from of her. She takes a breath then repeats the commands in her head as she strikes. **_‘Low left kick, Right middle kick, Left straight, Right Hook.’_** The bag moves further from her as each strike hits its target.

_“Is that all you got Commander? I WANT MORE! AGAIN!”_

Lexa huffs at Gustus’ remarks. The guy was a hard ass, but he knew how to draw out her potential. She repeats her strikes, this time with more force, causing the metal bindings on the bag to screech loudly.

_“You think that will be enough to bring down Monroe? Fuck that! Give me more Lexa. This time switch your strikes.”_

Lexa nods then takes a breath. She gathers all her energy then does as Gustus had instructed, this time adding more aggression into her strikes. **_‘Low right kick, left middle kick, right straight, Left Hook...then let’s add some stank on it, finish with a Right jumping knee.’_** The added final blow causes the bag to tear at the top. Sand flowing from it like a waterfall. As she lands back on her feet she takes in some heavy breaths to calm the adrenaline pumping in her veins.

_“THAT WAS AWESOME!!”_

Lexa’s head snaps back. She whips around to see a little dirty blonde haired boy watching her training from the sidelines. She smiles at him and gives him a thumbs up.

Gustus looks over to the boy and smiles. _“I have to agree with you, young lad. That was indeed, as you say, awesome.”_ He turns his attention to Lexa, proud smile still dancing in his eyes. _“Good work today Lex. I expect the same showmanship on Saturday night’s bout.”_

Lexa nodded to him. _“She won’t know what hit her when I’m done with her.”_ She gives him a smirk with a wink.

Gustus responds with a throaty laugh, _“I’m sure you will prove that without a doubt.”_ He claps his hands together twice. _“Now break, then we’ll continue in the next 20 minutes. I want you to practice grapples with Luna. Monroe has exceptional ground game from what I’ve heard so you need to be prepared.”_

Lexa nodded her understanding. _“Yes coach.”_

Gustus gave her one last smirk before turning his attention the boy beside him. _“Don’t tire her out too much now, you hear?”_ A softness most people don’t get to hear, evident in his voice.

Aden bows his head respectfully, _“Yes sir, Mr. Gustus sir.”_

Gustus chuckles at his formalities and turns to go check on the rest of his trainees.

Once he was gone, Lexa removed her gloves, sat them on the bench a few feet away then made her way over to Aden. _“Hey there little man!”_ She says excitably, stretching out her hand for him.

He responds with a low-five to her hand and gives her a huge grin. _“It’s so cool watching you train. I wish I could jump as high as you did with that high knee. You look like a real superhero!”_

Lexa smiled softly, completely flattered by the boys’ admiration of her. _“Give it time, soon you’ll be flying higher than me.”_

_“If you train me then I can get started on that.”_

_“Now, now, we talked about this.”_ She bent down to his eye level, then spoke slightly stern with him. _“I told your mother I wouldn’t teach you anything without her say so.”_

_“But Commander…”_ He attempted to lure her with his puppy face.

_“Nuh uh. None of that. She has been kind enough to trust me with watching you after school. I won’t have you getting hurt under my watch. Do you still want to be able to come here every day?”_ She looked at him with a questioning brow.

He pouted, then said. _“Yesss.”_

She smirked at his reluctant submission. _“Good.”_ She ruffled his dirty blonde hair, causing him to laugh. She rose to her feet then looked down at him. _“I hear that Anya brought a large helping of burgers, wanna come munch a few down with me?”_

His eyes brightened up instantly. _“Yeahh!! Do they have bacon on them?”_

_“I’m here, so I’m sure they do.”_ She smiled.

He nodded his head then they made their way across the gym to the eating area. On the way, Aden had placed his school bag down next to Lexa’s duffle bag, along with his jacket. When they arrived at the counter where the food was on display, they grabbed two large bacon burgers and walked over to the nearest table. Aden sat right next to Lexa, and eagerly began to tear into his food. Lexa took a bite of her own, then glanced over to kid beside her. **_‘Hard to believe it’s been a month already.’_** She smiles as she remembers back to the day this all began with him.

***One month ago***

Clarke’s eyes widened as she realized whom was standing at her front door. _“Holy fucking shit, Lexa Woods!? THE LEXA “THE COMMANDER” WOODS!?”_

Lexa straightened her posture to appear a bit more mature and smiled. _“In the flesh. You must be Aden’s mom.”_

Clarke was at a loss for words, so she just nodded in agreement.

Lexa gracefully approached the blonde and extended her hand out. _“It’s a pleasure to meet you, miss…?”_

Clarke shook her head out of her stupor and gently clasped Lexa’s hand. _“G-Griffin. C-Clarke Griffin.”_

Lexa’s breath hitched in her throat at the contact. **_‘Holy shit.’_** She looked down at their connected hands, eyes widening at the sight before her. The mere touch of Clarke’s hand grasping hers sent waves of electricity through her body. Lexa has been in contact with plenty of women in the past, she boasted about her many conquests with Anya and Luna on a daily basis, but never had she felt such a reaction before. Her eyes rose back to the face of the owner with the soft, yet powerful hands. She had the most glistening cream skin, it looked as if she’d jumped right out of a painting. Her lusciously, pink lips were slightly parted; while her intensely blue eyes stared back at Lexa with a glimmer of shyness trying to hide itself. **_‘She’s nervous.’_** Lexa thought.

Lexa gave her a genuine smile in hopes of somehow making herself seem less intimidating to the woman before her. Instead, the smile only made the blonde’s cheeks redden as if she were sun burned. **_‘Dammit Lexa, say something.’_** She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the sound of the boys’ voice.

_“Mom, mom!”_ Aden spoke excitably as he ran to his mother and grabbed her other arm. _“Can you believe it!? The Commander is at our house!”_

Clarke finally broke her stare and turned her attention to her son. _“Y-yeah. I can see that.”_ Then she realized she was still holding Lexa’s hand. _“Oops! Sorry.”_ She quickly unclasped their hands, but remained looking at Lexa shyly.

_“It’s quite alright.”_ Lexa smirked.

**_‘Oh my god.’_** Clarke felt as if she was about to have a panic attack. She grabbed Aden and positioned him like a human shield between them as she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. _“U-um, to what do we owe this pleasure?”_

_“Well your boy there…”_ She pointed downward at Aden. _“…had been in a bit of a scuffle in the park.”_

_“What!?”_ Clarke quickly sunk down to one knee, turning Aden’s body around so he was facing at her. She noticed the fresh bruise on his face for the first time. _“What happened? Are you okay?”_ Her eyes beaming with concern.

Aden lowered his eyes, a hint of shame taking over his previously joyful expression. _“Yeah…I’m okay.”_

Clarke cupped the side of Aden’s face and gently rubbed her thumb against the redness on his cheek. _“Oh baby, who did this to you?”_

Aden’s shoulders slouched as he refused to meet her gaze.

Lexa knew that look. **_‘It seems they may have threatened him into not saying anything. Poor kid.’_** She crossed her arms over her chest then spoke softly. _“Some older boys were trying to rob him in the park.”_

Clarke’s eyes snapped over to look at Lexa, a look of shock and sadness showing within them.

_“I was walking through the park and saw them ganging up on him, so I helped. I scared the boys away and threatened them a bit. They shouldn’t be a problem in the future.”_

Clarke’s eyes swelled a little with tears as she spoke a silent _‘Thank you.’_ With her gaze.

Lexa nodded in understanding.

Clarke turned her attention back to her son. _“It was Sid and his group again, wasn’t it?”_

Aden still kept his eyes trained to the ground below but slightly bobbed his head up and down.

Clarke sighed, then pulled Aden into a tight embrace. Rubbing his back in a calming gesture. The boy responded by wrapping his arms around her neck, returning the hug as best he could.

Lexa smiled slightly as she observed the loving exchange. **_‘He really is a lucky kid.’_** She thought to herself.

Clarke broke away from the hug. She placed her hand on his cheek and said, _“I’ll call the Principal tomorrow and have this all sorted out.”_

Aden looked up at her, a small glimpse of panic in his eyes. _“But mom…”_

Clarke shook her head _. “I will not be having this.”_ Her voice was stern, but soothing. _“This is the third time they’ve picked on you. And now that there is a witness to it, I can finally get the justice you deserve.”_ Both Clarke and Aden turned their heads to look at Lexa. _“Would you be willing to help me out here?”_

Lexa nodded. _“Of course. If there’s one thing I really hate, it’s bullies. We’ll nail ‘em kiddo.”_ She winked at Aden.

Aden gave her a huge smile then ran to her forcefully hugging her torso. _“Thank you, Commander.”_

Lexa was slightly surprised by the action, but she looked down at him with a soft smile and said, _“Of course little man.”_ She rubbed the dirty blonde mop on his head.

Clarke stood up and smiled as she watched her son holding his idol. **_‘Raven and O are never gonna believe this when I tell them.’_** She thought to herself before speaking. _“Okay Aden, why don’t you go inside and get yourself settled in. Dinner is already done.”_

Aden broke away from Lexa, turning his attention to his mother. _“Okay ma!”_ Her looked back at Lexa as an idea crossed his mind. _“Would you like to stay for dinner!??”_

Lexa’s eyes grew wide at the request. _“W-well I-I…”_ She looked back up towards Clarke whom was also looking at her.

_“We would be honored if you stayed for dinner. There’s plenty to share.”_ Clarke said with a warm smile.

_“O-okay then. I could use a bite.”_

_“Yah!”_ Aden cheered. _“I’m gonna run to my room really quick and then we can eat!”_ He ran inside the house, bag in hand.

Lexa chuckled. _“You’ve got quite the energetic little guy there.”_

Clarke covered her mouth as she chuckled as well. _“Yeahh, I feel like I need to shoot him with tranquilizer darts sometimes.”_ She joked.

_“May be.”_ Lexa smiled.

_“Why don’t you come inside? You can leave your duffle bag next to the door.”_

Lexa nodded and followed behind the beautiful blonde woman in front of her. Definitely not scoping out her ass every few seconds.

***Present Day***

Lexa smiled at herself as she recalled having a wonderful dinner with the two of them that night. She learned that Clarke was quite the rising star herself in the art world. Her paintings were sold at a few high-end galleries; one of which had sold for about $500,000. Lexa got to see a few of her personal paintings scattered around their home. Lexa was no art enthusiast but she found Clarke’s work very impressive. Aden on the other hand, had gone on and on about how cool he thought Lexa was, and how he wanted to train with her. Clarke was not totally for the idea, she wanted to wait until he was a little older before she was okay with him being tossed around or him punching people.

Lexa thought it was rather odd that Clarke had a 13-year-old kid in the first place. The blonde was only a year older than Lexa, but Clarke explained that she had done volunteer work at a youth center near her art studio downtown. She had met Aden there in her arts and crafts program when she was 22, making him 10 at the time. Aden’s parents had died in an accident when was 8 and not a lot of adopters were looking for kids his age. Something Lexa could definitely sympathize with him over. Clarke and Aden had hit it off instantly, and she grew to love the boy very much over the few months of them getting to know each other. Lexa also learned that Clarke’s mother was one of the top cardiac surgeons in the country, so with her help, she was able to adopt Aden. It warmed Lexa’s heart to know that people like Clarke existed out there. In her experience, if you weren’t a new born or a toddler in an orphanage, then the chances were slim to none that you’d ever find a home.

Lexa looked back over to boy still happily munching away next to her. After the night she had saved him, he started coming by the gym and hanging out with her after school. She had gotten Clarke to agree to letting him stay there since Aden had mentioned he really didn’t like going to the after school program he was currently in. Lexa was sure he was just making up excuses, but Clarke had given in to the request without much of a fight after they’d spoken for a while. If it made Aden happy, it made Clarke happy. And at least then she knew for sure that Aden was in a safe place. It had now become a daily routine that he would stay with Lexa at the gym until her sessions were over then she’d escort him home. Sometimes she’d even stay for dinner since Clarke was an excellent cook. **_‘Could never pass up the chance for some good free food.’_**

Aden was very respectful of the fact that the fighters needed all the focus they could get while they trained, so he would joyfully sit and watch them, especially Lexa, and stay as much out of the way as possible. Everyone within the camp had taken to him rather quickly. Gustus would walk around with the boy on his shoulders, explaining the use of all the equipment in the gym. Nyko would watch classic fights with him on the TV. Even Anya liked discussing the different types of martial arts there were in the world with him. Other than Lexa though, Luna had spent the most time with him. When she wasn’t practicing her Brazilian Ju-Jitsu, she’d help him with his homework or get him ice cream from the truck outside. She’d told Lexa that he was like the little brother she’d always wanted.

Lexa chuckled at the thought, which caught the boys’ attention _“What’s so funny?”_

Lexa finished chewing her food and answered _, “Just thinking about the other day when Luna had you cracking up because she put ice cream all over her face and was looking like the only clown.”_

Aden laughed along with her. _“That was hilarious! Luna is the best.”_

_“She’s the best huh? Gonna leave me for her now?”_

_“Of course not! No one is cooler than you, Commander!”_ He gave her a toothy grin which made her laugh harder.

_“Good to know I’m irreplaceable.”_ She ruffled his hair, making him chuckle at her.

The rest of the day had gone by rather swiftly. Lexa managed to learn a few more ground moves that she could use during her fights and almost choked out Luna when they were practicing hold intensity. She felt bad about that, but Luna reassured her that she was fine. Lexa, Anya, and Aden said their goodbyes to everyone as they started on their way home. Anya had eventually split off from them when her corner came up, and they made their way through the park towards Aden’s house.

_“Did you have fun today little man?”_ Lexa asked.

_“Sure did!”_ He answered excitably _. “I can’t believe you almost made Luna pass out in the triangle hold.”_

Lexa looked at the ground bashfully. _“Yeah, I should’ve been a little more diligent about how much pressure I put into that. I’ll probably buy her cookies tomorrow as an apology.”_

_“I’d love some cookies too!”_

Lexa chuckled. _“I’m sure you would.”_

***buzz buzz***

Lexa felt her phone vibrating in her pocket and went to grab it. _“It’s your mom.”_ She answered, _“Hey Clarke, what’s up?”_

_“Hey Lex. Umm, so I need to ask a huge favor.”_

_“Sure, what can I do ya for?”_ She spoke animatedly.

Clarke chuckled. _“You always sound so goofy when you talk like that.”_

Lexa smiled. She didn’t know why exactly, but she really enjoyed being able to make Clarke laugh.

_“Is there any way you’d be able to hold onto Aden a little longer? I’m stuck in traffic right now ‘cause there was an accident on the high way.”_

_“Yeah sure, of course. Me and the little dude can chill at my place till you arrive.”_

_“You’re a life saver, Lex. Thank you so much.”_

_“Anytime Clarkey. Just ring the bell when you get there.”_

_“Okay. Tell Aden I love him and I’ll see him soon.”_

_“I love you too mom!”_ Aden yelled into the phone making Clarke laugh.

_“You have me on speaker?”_

Lexa chuckled. _“Nah, ya boys’ just got some really big ears there.”_

_“Hey!”_ Aden protested, playfully punching Lexa in the leg.

_“Ow dude, how am I supposed to train tomorrow if you take out my legs?”_

All three of them laughed in unison.

_“Stop beating up Lexa, okay Aden?”_

_“Fineee.”_ Aden answered with a playful tone.

_“Okay, I’ll see you two in a bit.”_

_“See ya soon, Clarke.”_ She says before hanging up the phone, then turning her attention to the boy. _“So looks you’re with me a little longer tonight.”_

_“Awesome!”_ Aden responded. _“Does that mean we get to play some Smash Bros.?”_

_“Sounds like a plan to me.”_

Within 10 minutes they reached Lexa’s house, which was only a few blocks from Aden and Clarke’s. Lexa had a one floor home as well but nowhere near the size of theirs. Not that she really needed the space though, since it was only her and her Rottweiler, Titus, living there. As they entered the house, they were greeted by a very excited, 50 pound, black and brown dog. Titus was meant to be Lexa’s guard dog, but in all honesty he was just a giant puppy who loved everyone. Lexa was pretty sure that if she were being robbed, Titus would just stand there happily wagging his tail, trying to get the burglars to pet him. While Aden was occupied with giving Titus some affection, Lexa laid their bags near the front door and went into her living room to put on the video game Aden had requested. Lexa loved gaming herself, but never really got into multiplayer stuff until Aden came around. After that she made sure her collection had whatever games she knew he liked.

They played a few rounds, most of which Aden had won, for about an hour. Aden started to get a little tired of beating Lexa, so she put on one of their favorite Tony Jaa films, _‘The Protector’_. Titus slept at the end of the couch while Aden and Lexa watched the movie. About halfway through it, Aden had fallen asleep as well. Somehow he’d ended up laying his head in Lexa’s lap, and out of instinct she’d started to gently rub his head to keep him relaxed. At one point she had looked down at the sleeping preteen in her lap and a small smile came across her face. **_‘A month ago I never would have imagined I’d be relaxing in my living room, with a kid napping on my lap.’_** Lexa never saw herself as the nurturing type or even considered having a kid someday, but something about Aden really took to her. She’d bonded with the boy almost instantly, and the fact that he admired her so much inspired her to keep living up to his expectations.

The movie was close to finishing when Lexa heard her phone vibrating on the end table next to the couch. She unlocked it to see a text from Clarke.

_“I’m outside.”_

Lexa replied. _“Aden fell asleep, and I don’t have the heart to wake him. The door is unlocked, come in.”_

A few minutes later, Clarke had entered through the front door. Lexa turned her head enough to look back to see her and smiled. Clarke blushed a bit, but smiled back.

_“He fell asleep on you again huh?”_ Clarke whispered.

_“Yeah, I think those burgers we had earlier finally caught up to him.”_ Lexa whispered back.

_“Lucky him. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”_

_“Are you hungry?”_

_“Hungry isn’t even the word for it.”_

_“I still got some leftovers of the pasta you made the other day in my fridge. Never got around to eating it yet.”_

Clarke raised an eyebrow and teased, _“Oh really? You never got around to it or you just didn’t like it.”_

Lexa chuckled then raised her right hand in a swearing gesture. _“I honestly just never got around to it. Scouts honor.”_

Clarke chuckled. _“Alright then, yeah I could go for some of that.”_

_“Awesome. Go ahead and meet me in the kitchen.”_

Clarke nodded. She placed her bag on the end table then started making her way to the kitchen, followed by a now fully awake Titus. Lexa moved as smoothly as possible as she slid Aden’s head off her lap, laid it on the cushion below, and silently walked into the kitchen. When she arrived Clarke was already sitting at the table, stretching her neck a bit while Titus laid comfortably next to her feet. Clarke had her eyes closed while she was doing stretching, which gave Lexa the opportunity to scan her a little and smile before going into the fridge, pulling out the plate of pasta. She popped it into the microwave and leaned her lower back against the kitchen counter waiting for it to finish. As she leaned there, she watched Clarke continue to do her stretching. Lexa raised an eyebrow when Clarke had stretched her arms out which made it so her button down shirt exposed the slightest bit of cleavage. **_‘Oh, damn.’_** Her staring was interrupted by the sound of the microwave signaling that the food was done.

She grabbed the plate and sat it on the table in front of Clarke. _“For you, madam.”_ She said with a playful tone.

Clarke chuckled then smiled. _“Why, thank you.”_ Then she started to eat the food.

Lexa sat in the chair across from her. Titus had taken the opportunity to come to her side for attention. She scratched his ears and observed as Clarke went to town on the plate of pasta. _“You weren’t kidding about being hungry.”_

Clarke finished swallowing her food and wiped her face before answering. _“I told you it had been awhile since I ate last.”_

_“Why’d you go so long without eating?”_ Lexa asked, a little concern in her voice.

_“I was too busy working on my next project. Before I knew it lunch and dinner time had just flew right by me.”_

_“Next time that happens, maybe I’ll bring you something. Can’t have Aden worrying about him mom passing out from hunger.”_

Clarke chuckled. _“I wouldn’t mind that. Maybe then Raven would actually believe me when I say my son’s new babysitter is a world class fighter.”_

Lexa laughed at the comment. _“That’s what I am huh? An ass kicking babysitter?”_

_“Well if the shoe fits.”_

Both women laughed a little more before Clarke went back to eating.

In this moment in time, Lexa felt completely content. There was something about having the boy sleeping on her couch, her dog’s head on her lap, and this beautiful woman playfully bantering with her at the table that just made everything feel like it fit for Lexa. The only family she’d ever known were Guss, Anya and Luna, but even with them she hadn’t felt this alive before. **_‘Are these what families are supposed to be like?’_** She pondered. She wasn’t sure, but it’s something she’d hoped would stick around.

Once Clarke had finished her food, she went to wake up Aden while Lexa cleaned up the dishes. She met the blonde woman and her half asleep son at the door to say her goodbyes.

_“Was another fun day there, little man. You try and get some rest.”_

Aden smiled tiredly at Lexa, still struggling to wake himself up. **_‘God, I remember those days.’_** Lexa thinks looking at Aden’s heavy eyes.

Clarke rubbed her hand through her son’s hair, then looked at Lexa and said, _“Thank you for watching him again. I’m eternally grateful to you.”_

Lexa smiled. _“It’s a pleasure. He’s been great company to have. Plus, he takes all the kiss assaults from Titus that I don’t want.”_

Clarke laughed, which made Lexa’s heart skip a beat, then spoke, _“I can only imagine.”_ She smiled at Lexa. _“Well, we’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t forget to study those tapes so you’re prepared for your fight with Monroe on Saturday.”_

_“Gosh, you sound like Gustus.”_

_“Well excuse me for wanting you to keep that winning streak going.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, yeah shut it.”_ Lexa joked.

Clarke chuckled then gestured Aden as they started to make their way back to her car.

_“Hey wait a second!”_ Lexa called out.

Clarke and Aden turned around to look at her.

_“W-would, um, would you both like to come to my next bout?”_ She asked hesitantly.

The question instantly woke Aden up. _“HOLY CRAP YEAHHH!!”_ He turned his head to look at his mother. _“Can we ma? Can we??”_

Clarke laughed, nodded at him, then looked at Lexa. _“We’d love to come.”_

Lexa felt a goofy smile grow on her face. _“Awesome! I’ll have Gustus grab some VIP seating then. Who knows, if you guys are good enough cheerleaders then I’ll make it a permanent bonus for ya.”_

Aden ran and pulled Lexa into a big hug. _“THANK YOU LEX…I, MEAN COMMANDER!!”_

Lexa laughed and ruffled his hair. _“Any time kiddo.”_

She looked in Clarke’s direction to see a big affectionate smile on her face. Her blue eyes shining ever so brightly in the moonlight. **_‘Yeah, I definitely have to find a way to keep this around for as long as possible.’_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there’s the end of chapter 2. It’s kinda long, but I was having a little too much fun. Hope you guys liked it. Do you like how Lexa’s bonding with Aden and Clarke? Was it funny seeing Titus as a dog? Please leave me your thoughts in the comments and some lovely kudos if you’d like.


	3. Cheerleaders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday had arrived, and Lexa was set to face Monroe. Clarke and Aden, her special guests in company. Warning: This chapter contains Martial arts violence and blood.

Chapter 3: "Cheerleaders"

Lexa took a deep breath, allowing the quelling in her stomach to settle. Her hands gripped the sink below her, knuckles turned white from the strain.

She was never the nervous type, but this was a big fight. One of the biggest in her career so far. She was to face Kelly Monroe, a prized fighter from Germany. She was highly skilled, an unbelievable grappler and submission specialist. She’d won her last 4 fights by way of rear armbar. A very difficult submission move to escape from if you were not properly trained.

Lexa did not fear Monroe; in fact, she respected the woman who was only one rank above her. She studied all the tapes Gustus had given her and they came up with an excellent game plan to defeat her. Lexa was all too confident she’d beat Monroe tonight.

The source of her nerves however, was the fact that by winning this fight would mean she’d qualify for a chance to fight for the #1 contender spot. She was so close to her goal of becoming champion she could practically taste it.

Her nerves were slightly more intensified due to the fact that both her two biggest fans, Aden and Clarke, were going to be front row and center to watch her duke it out with Monroe. They’d seen her fight live before. Clarke told Lexa how they’d been present for at least 3 of her 7 past fights. But this time Lexa knew they were going to be there. She knew she would be able to hear them as they cheered for her from the crowd. The thought made Lexa smile. She wanted to do her best to impress them and make it so their praise was properly deserved.

She turned the knob on the sink. As the water ran stead fast, she cupped her hands underneath. Gathering enough until her hands were full then quickly splashing it onto her face. She ran her hands along her braided hair and opened her eyes to look into the mirror. Intense green burned with determination stared back at her. **_‘You’ve got this. You will win. You are the Commander. No one fights for you.’_** She recited mentally to herself.

_“Commander!!”_

Lexa blinked herself out of her mental pep talk and looked into the corner of the mirror to see Aden jogging over to her while Clarke stood in the doorway; arms crossed over her chest with a warm smile, watching her energetic son running to his idols’ side.

Lexa looked at the boy reflecting in the mirror, now standing right beside her, eyes beaming with excitement in her direction. She smiled and said with amusement, _“Hey there little man! What you doing back here?”_

_“Gustus said we needed to wait a little while before our seats were ready but that it was okay for us to come visit you while you warmed up.”_ Aden replied.

_“Ahh, I see.”_

_“I hope we’re not interrupting any pregame ritual of yours.”_ Clarke said.

Lexa let her eyes travel to the smiling blonde reflecting in the background. She smiled back at her then said, _“I actually had just finished, so you guys came at the right time.”_

_“Good to know.”_ Clarke chuckled then made her way into the rest of the locker room. She stopped when she was a few feet behind Lexa and Aden. She scanned Lexa up and down through the mirror, **_‘Wow. She looks really hot in her gear. How have I never noticed that before?’_** She thought. **_‘Stop that! You’re supposed be encouraging her.’_** She shook her head out of her thoughts then said, _“You look ready.”_

Lexa huffed then turned away from the mirror to face Clarke. _“I definitely feel ready.”_

_“You’re gonna kick some major ass!”_ Aden spoke with his hands fisting in the air.

Clarke looked at him, annoyance in her expression. _“Aden! Language please.”_

_“Oops. Sorry.”_ He ducked his head in obedience.

Lexa laughed then ruffled his hair with her hand. _“No worries buddy. I had a couple of bad words slip from my mouth a few times when I was your age.”_

_“Don’t encourage him.”_ Clarke spoke sternly, an attempt at looking intimating in her eyes.

Lexa looked at her, **_‘Is she seriously trying to intimate me? Gotta admit that’s kinda hot.’_** She thought as she fought the urge to smirk at the blonde, amusement playing on her own face. _“Yes mama bear, I’m sorry.”_

A breath hitched in Clarke’s throat. She couldn’t help the smirk that slowly broke through her serious look. **_‘Why must she tease me in front of him?’_**

Lexa saw that she had seemingly entertained the blonde with her remark. **_‘Nailed it.’_** She smiled warmly at her.

_“Alrighty everybody, it’s time to go!”_ Gustus called from just outside the door.

_“Okay, Guss!”_ Lexa replied then turned her attention back to the two blondes next to her. _“You guys ready to watch me…”_ She looks directly at Aden. _“…kick some major ass!?”_

Both of them laughed, Clarke lightly punched Lexa’s then arm for encouraging him again, then Aden yelled, _“Heck yeahhh!!”_ A big goofy smile on his face.

All three of them exited the locker room and followed behind Gustus through the hall ways. Lexa was chuckling the whole time while Aden and Gustus were giving her tips as they roamed the tunnel leading to the arena. Gustus reminded her to look out for the clinch and counter grapples, while Aden suggested she try doing her signature Superman punch to knock her out. Lexa found it amusing how much the boy obsessed over that one punch. **_‘You look like you’re flying in the sky taking down bad guys!’_** She remembers him saying to her one time.

She glanced over to look at Clarke who was walking in step beside her, head facing forward, completely unaware of Lexa’s gaze. Lexa tuned out all the sounds around her as she scanned the woman next to her. She was wearing one of the novelty V-neck shirts advertising Lexa, something her friend Ryder had made and sold a few fights back. The image was of Lexa staring forward, one hand holding the other gloved fist, a show of intimation in her expression; the quote _‘Who’s Next to face the Commander!’_ written in a ring around the image. Her outfit was completed with blue skinny jeans and black heels. Lexa smirked to herself. _“You look really cute tonight.”_ She said it aloud without realizing it. **_‘Shit.’_**

Clarke looked over at her, **_‘Wait, was she checking me out?’_** She questioned to herself, looked down at her outfit, then returned to Lexa. _“Oh, you think so?”_

_“Yeah. I didn’t think anyone bought those make shift shirts Ryder made. It’s nice to know I have your loyalty.”_ Lexa smiled genuinely, a softness glistening in her eyes.

**_‘Oh wow, that’s different.’_** Clarke blushed then replied, _“Y-yeah well, you earned my respect.”_ She smiled back at her.

Lexa nodded then they just looked at each other, smiles still plastered on their faces.

Their legs were still moving in step behind the chatty mountain of a man and short pre-teen, but their eyes were focused and trained on one another. Lexa felt a warmth running through her chest. Clarke always seemed to have this effect on her. She made her feel calm and at ease. As she looked into those tender blue eyes she felt as if the whole world was on a cloud and they were just floating in the sky. **_‘What is this feeling?’_** she questioned to herself, but the answer had to wait as they were interrupted by the sound of a roaring crowd in the background.

_“We’ve arrived.”_ Gustus says. _“Time to get into Commander mode Lexa.”_

Lexa nodded then slapped her hands against her cheeks and shook her head. _“I’m ready.”_

Aden ran to Lexa and gave her a huge hug. The gesture warmed Lexa’s heart and she rubbed her fingers through his hair. _“You got this Commander. I believe in you.”_ He said as his grip tightened around her torso.

She smiled down at him and responded, _“Thank you little man. I will not fail you.”_

Aden looked up at her. His mini piercing blue eyes staring into hers with admiration. _“You promise?”_

She nodded and said, _“I promise.”_

With that he finally let go and stepped back beside his mother. She rubbed his head, then looked at Lexa. _“We’ll be cheering you on the whole time. Good luck, and please be careful.”_

Lexa nodded. _“I will.”_

Both Aden and Clarke smiled at her one more time before they were directed to their seats. Lexa watched them for a little while before she heard Gustus clearing his throat. She looked towards his direction with a questioning eyebrow.

_“You’ve got quite the support system there.”_ Gustus says with a small smile.

Lexa smiles back. _“I guess I do.”_

_“You ready?”_

_“Always.”_

_“Game plan all set in your head?”_

_“Don’t get brought to the ground. Use my footwork to my advantage. She is left side dominant so guard my right with extra care. When there’s a clear opening, go hard and give her no chances to recover.”_

_“Excellent.”_

He nodded one last time at her then they stepped outside the flap that had separated her from the tunnel and the arena. As Lexa steps out she is overwhelmed by the energy of her surrounding area. She soaked in all the raw excitement of the crowd as she took her time during her walk-in. The announcers chatted about her career over the speakers, while some people yelled with praise and others with boos. Lexa lived for this. The power she had to influence people to either stand up in arms with her or dare to face off with her. The whole thing made her heart beat like a drum repeatedly.

Once she stepped into the octagon ring, she waved at the crowd then started her routine stretching as she eyed the dark haired woman across from her that was her opponent. Monroe looked back at her with a cocky smile, clearly confident that she was going to take down Lexa tonight. Lexa answered with her own sly smirk and raised her chin in the air. As they finally signaled that they were ready, the ring announcer began his rant.

_“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! IIIIT’S TIME! 3 ROUNDS IN THE UFC WOMEN’S BANTAMWEIGHT DIVISION!”_

The crowd roared loudly.

_“INTRODUCING FIRST! FIGHTING OUT OF THE RED CORNER!”_

He faces Lexa.

_“This Brazilian Ju-Jitsu fighter hails from Queens, NY. She holds a professional record of 7 wins, 0 loses. Standing at 5’ 8” tall and weighting in at 135 lbs. Fighting out of San Diego, CA. LEXA ‘THE COMMANDERRRRRRR’ WOODS!”_

The intensity of the crowd draws such an array of emotions out of Lexa that she does a backflip then raises her right fist in the air. Her fans eat it up, including Aden and Clarke who are clapping and whistling in their seats. After a few seconds the announcer continues.

_“And introducing her opponent, fighting out of the blue corner. She’s a submission specialist, reigning from Cologne, Germany. She holds a professional record of 11 wins, 0 loses. She stands at 5’ 8” tall. Weighting in at 135 lbs. Fighting out of Las Vegas, NV. KELLY ‘THE GRAPPLERRRRRRRRR’ MONROE!”_

The crowd cheers and some of the German fans sing their national anthem in Monroe’s honor. She bows to them in respect. The referee gives them his instructions for the match and allows them the chance to touch gloves as a display of sportsmanship, which they do, then proceed to their individual corners. Each woman gets into their respective stances as they wait in their corners for the referee to signal the start. Lexa takes deep and steady breaths. **_‘You can do this. You got this. You are the Commander.’_** She chants to herself mentally.

The referee looks to Lexa’s corner, _“You ready?”_

Lexa nods.

He looks towards Monroe’s corner, _“You ready?”_

Monroe nods.

_“FIGHT!”_

With the signal given both women approach each other. They touch gloves then start to circle one another. Lexa knows that Monroe is a counter fighter so she decides to hold back the urge to strike first. After a few seconds, Monroe gives in. She pushes forward on her right leg then throws a left straight punch towards Lexa’s head. She blocks it. Monroe continues by throwing a right gut punch which connects. There’s not much force behind it but enough to make Lexa wince and step back. Monroe attempts to push forward with a left low kick which hits Lexa’s right calf. Lexa stumbles for a second but quickly recovers. Monroe goes for a right straight punch next. Lexa side steps it then throws her own right hook. It connects with the left side of Monroe’s face which makes her stumble backwards. She recovers, but evidence of the blow she took appears as blood starts to drip down her left cheek; a small cut forming in the area.

**_‘That’s right bitch.’_** Lexa mentally congratulates herself and the crowd screams with excitement.

Confidence now at it’s peak within Lexa, she makes the first move. She throws a series of straight and hook punches. A few hit their mark, making Monroe’s face bleed even further. New cuts growing into her pale skin. In between Lexa’s assault, Monroe lands a few shots of her own. Two punches connected with Lexa’s torso; a few low kicks causing Lexa’s right shin and calf to redden. At times Monroe would attempt to go for the clinch or a takedown, but Lexa’s intensive training allowed her to sense them and block them each time successfully. **_‘That’s right. Just like Guss said, keep this on your feet. Don’t let her ground you.’_** She mentally reminded herself. For them time is slowed down as they focus on trying to take out the other woman, but they are snapped out of the trance when a bell goes off, signaling the end of the first round.

Each woman goes to their respective corners and sits on a stool. Medics make their way over to each fighter, cleaning and dressing their cuts, applying ointments to their bruises. As Lexa is being tended to, Gustus barks his review of the round. _“You’re doing pretty good out there. Continue to keep her on her feet. That’s where your home is. Her left eye is looking bad, so focus on applying most of your pressure there. You’re doing well not allowing her to take you down. Remember, don’t allow her to bring this fight to the ground.”_

Lexa nods at each of his remarks, then she turns her head when she hears whistling. She spots Aden and Clarke, standing beside Anya and Luna in the front row, waving at her and cheering her on. She smiles at them and gives them a thumbs up. They reply with thumbs up of their own and then the bell rings again, signaling that the next round is about to start.

Lexa stands on her feet as the crew around her disperses. Lexa stretches a bit until the ring is clear of everyone except the two fighters and the referee. The ref looks to each corner to ask if they are ready. Both nod and he yells, _“FIGHT!”_ Both women approach to touch gloves again as the 2 nd round begins.

Within the first minute of the 2nd round, things had gotten quite aggressive.  Lexa mixed up her strikes between a series of hooks, straights and uppercuts. A few landed on the left side of Monroe’s face, causing the bleeding to resume, and the right side of Monroe’s torso. However, Monroe refused to let up. She answered Lexa’s aggression by matching it with her own. She connected a few left hooks to the right side of Lexa’s face, which opened up a large cut under her right eye; swelling worsening over time. She even managed to land two middle kicks to Lexa’s left arm; bruising had begun to form on her bicep. Monroe caught Lexa in the clinch once during her attempts this round and landed a knee to her torso, but Lexa quickly broke out of it, not allowing any further damage.

Lexa had to hand it to Monroe. She was matching her blow for blow, and hurting Lexa a lot more than her previous opponents. Impressive as she was, Lexa still had confidence that she could finish her, so she kept pushing forward.

Suddenly, she saw an opening after she’d just landed a middle kick to Monroe’s torso. Lexa pushed forward, left arm charging in for blow to her face. She thought she had her in grasp, but Monroe swiftly side stepped the attempt. She grabbed Lexa’s arm, and tripped her forward with a side sweep low kick to her left leg. Lexa’s chin connected to the ground, causing a hint of pain to travel through her head, and the taste of iron overtaking her senses as her mouth started running a river of red. Before she could register what had happened, Monroe put her left arm into her signature rear armbar.

**_‘Oh, shit. Fuck!’_** Lexa mentally cursed herself. The one thing Gustus begged her not to get herself trapped into, is currently in the process of happening. Intense amounts of pain rage through her arm into the rest of her body, as Monroe fully locks the hold in, slightly elevating her body to apply pressure as she stretches it. It takes all of Lexa’s strength not to cry out as she tries to wiggle herself out of her current predicament, but to avail. Lexa’s eyes are clamped shut as she fights the urge to tap. This was the first time anyone has ever been able to lock her into a submission hold during a fight, and she could not figure out how to escape. Her mind slips into a fog and time slows down as she panics inwardly.

She struggles to open one of her eyes and looks around the crowd. Searching, **_‘But for what?’_** she asks herself. Her scanning comes to a halt when her sight lands on the two blonde figures sitting in the front row. She sees as Clarke looks at her. Desperation and concern painted within the blue of her eyes. **_‘She’s scared for me?’_** Lexa asks herself. Then she looks over to the blonde boy beside her. He’s screaming something at her. **_‘But what?’_** she studies the motion of his lips until she finally figures it out. **_‘Don’t give up!’_** he says. **_‘Don’t give up, Commander!’_**

Her eyes widen. **_‘You promised.’_** A voice in her head speaks. **_‘You promised them you would win.’_** Lexa steadied her breath. **_‘You are the Commander.’_** She inhales and exhales slowly. **_‘No one, fights for you.’_**

A new wave of determination rises in her chest. Lexa repositions herself so that right arm is slightly extended, hand flat against the surface of the ring. Her legs stretched out with her toes flattening as well. She rallies all of her strength as she pushes herself upward in a single armed push up. Her body slowly rising off the floor. The pain from her struggle is great, but her will to win is greater as she continues to lift herself. Once she is elevated enough, she tugs at the arm currently in Monroe’s hold repeatedly until the grip around it finally loosens. Lexa uses the remainder of her strength pull her arm completely free then quickly scrambles to her feet.

Lexa keeps her body steady as she gets back into her stance, fists hovering slightly in front of her face. Monroe stands herself up but her expression is one of shock and disbelief. Her rear armbar was her signature finisher, and Lexa Woods just broke out of it. Lexa can’t help the cocky smirk that appears on her face; her breaths heavy and her left arm slung a little lower than her right due to the pain.

Just as Monroe prepared to move forward and attempt to bring Lexa back to the ground, Lexa pushes her body forward as well. **_‘It’s show time!’_** She screams in her head as she gears up to grant Aden’s request from earlier. A battle cry escapes her throat as she pushes off the toes of her left leg and leaps in the air, cocks her right arm back then launches it forward with all of her strength. Her fist plummets into Monroe’s left cheek with a furious force as her signature superman punch hits its intended target. Blood gushes from Monroe’s mouth, painting the floor red and a tooth or two comes flying out. She falls backwards and hits the ground hard. Her body lays out completely void of motion and the referee quickly runs over to check her. He waves his hands, signaling to stop the fight. Monroe remained on the floor completely knocked unconscious.

Lexa couldn’t contain her joy as she fell to her knees, right fist thrown into air, screaming with happiness. The crowd screams with her. A mixture of cheers and boos fill the arena; the cheering completely out weighting the other. Gustus comes running into the octagon and hoists Lexa into the air with a big hug. She wraps her good arm around his neck, holding tightly. Anya, Luna, Clarke, and Aden charge in after him. They cheer and jump together; the excitement untamable at this point.

The announcer joins them in the ring after things have settled down. Lexa and Monroe standing at each side of the referee. _“And the winner, by way of TKO, LEXA ‘THE COMMANDERRRRRRR’ WOODS!!”_ The referee lifts up Lexa’s hand and she screams in victory. Anya and Luna hug her tightly, all three women overcome with emotion. Gustus stood to the side clapping and smiling proudly at his young trainee.

The two women were swiftly replaced by a dirty blonde boy as Aden launched himself into Lexa’s arms. He squeezed her torso with all his might. She ruffled his mop then wrapped her arms around his head, pushing his face further into her stomach. He said something, but the noise of the crowd drowned it out. Lexa assumed it was something of praise though because he smiled as a tear trailed down his face. Lexa couldn’t fight the warm tear filled smile that took over her face as she looked at him. **_‘I kept my promise. I didn’t let him down.’_** The acknowledgement of that fact made the waves of emotions roaring beneath her whip around even further.

She looked up to see a now teary eyed Clarke. Joy painting all over her face as she watched her son embracing and celebrating with his idol. **_‘She did it. She really did it.’_** She thought to herself. Her gaze rose until blue met with green. The mixture of the colors exchanging feelings of bliss and appreciation. Clarke’s eyes were smiling. **_‘Are her eyes smiling at me?’_** Lexa wonders. She is given her answer when Clarke’s lips curve even higher as their sights remain locked. A warmth hotter than the adrenaline currently tearing through her veins starts to take over her heart. **_‘I did that. I made her smile at me like that.’_** She hears drums play in her ears and she can’t contain herself.

She slowly pulls away from Aden, ruffling his hair one more time with a smile, then approaches Clarke. Lexa wraps her still useful arm around Clarke’s waist and pulls her into a tender hug. Her hand rests on the small of Clarke’s back and she rests her head in crook of Clarke’s neck. Clarke responds by wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck and pulling their bodies flush against one another. One of her hands rest in Lexa’s hair as the other lands atop her back. Clarke’s chin rests gently on Lexa’s shoulder. The contact is warm and soothing, like something Lexa has never experienced before. She could feel the rhythm of the beat Clarke’s heart was playing against her body and it made her smile wider.

_“I did it.”_ She says in Clarke’s ear.

_“You did it.”_ Clarke responded.

Lexa tightens her hold as the smell of fresh fruits massages through her nose. An unfamiliar calm overtaking her adrenaline filled body. Then she hears it. A whisper from Clarke’s soft voice. _“Thank you…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a blast to write. What did you guys think? Did you enjoy the fight scene between Lexa and Monroe? Did I write it detailed and clear enough to understand? What did you think of those tender moments between Aden, Clarke, & Lexa? Please leave me your thoughts in the comments and some lovely kudos if you liked it. Thank you!


	4. “A Little Downtime Every Once in a While Never Hurts”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will bounce between Clarke and Lexa’s POV. With a mini hiatus between her next fight, Lexa takes the time to rest a bit. She spends more time with Anya, Luna, Aden, and Clarke, along with her 2 best friends. Bonus: We also are introduced to Raven and Octavia.

Chapter 4: “A Little Downtime Every Once in a While Never Hurts”

_“C’mon Raven! They’ll be here any minute!”_ Clarke shouts out towards her house as she places a bowl of chips on a table outside.

_“Hold ya horses there Princess!”_ A tanned skinned woman emerges from the house holding some plates and cups. _“Where you want these?”_

_“You can put them over there.”_ Clarke points to a table near the grill on the far left of the backyard.

Raven does as she is instructed; as she sits down the collection of paper plates and plastic cups, she turns to look at the shorter brunette woman standing at the grill cooking some burgers. _“Mann, Clarkey is in super controlling mode today, huh O?”_

Octavia takes her attention off her task to momentarily to look at Raven, _“Can you blame her? It’s not every day that you have a posse of renown MMA fighters coming to a BBQ in your backyard.”_

Raven puts her index finger to her chin and mulls over Octavia’s answer. _“I suppose you’re right. What do you think they’ll be like?”_

Octavia shrugs as she turns her eyes back to the grill. _“You got me. But according to Clarke, Lexa is really sweet and Aden says that the other two, can’t recall their names, are pretty funny.”_

Raven nods.

_“Raven!! I need you!!”_ Clarke yells.

Raven sighs, _“Dammit, I’m coming Clarke!”_

_“That’s what she said.”_ Octavia says under her breath with a chuckle.

Raven shoots her gaze to Octavia and narrows her eyes. _“Really, O?”_

Octavia just continues to snicker at her childish remark. Raven huffs then makes her way back into the house to the kitchen.

Clarke looks up from her kitchen counter as she hears her friend walk in from the backyard. _“Finally. Here take these and put them on the display table.”_ Clarke hands her a bowl of potato salad, along with some plastic forks and knives.

_“Ai ai Capt’n.”_ Raven says with a fake salute then takes the items from Clarke and heads outside.

_“Damn, I hope I didn’t forget to make anything.”_ Clarke whispers to herself as she wrecks her mind trying to go through her inner list of things to do.

Clarke had decided she wanted to throw Lexa a celebratory BBQ to congratulate her victory over Monroe almost a week ago. She had her two best friends, Raven and Octavia, help her with all the preparations. Clarke was slightly nervous because she’d never really hosted a BBQ event with people other than her friends, Aden and her mother. Lexa was supposed to be accompanied by her fellow camp mates and friends as well, so the stress of trying to make her home as inviting as possible sent adrenaline through her body. **_‘I hope they like everything.’_** She thought to herself as she grabbed a few more bags of chips and made her way towards the serving table just behind the house. She sets everything down, then closes her eyes as she sighs, attempting to calm her nerves.

_“Easy now, Princess.”_ Clarke opens her eyes and turns around to see Raven approaching her. _“You’ve got nothing to get worked up about.”_

 Clarke responds, _“I know Rave, I just want to make sure everyone is comfortable.”_

Raven places her hand on Clarke’s shoulder and gives her a reassuring smile. _“No worries, I’m sure they’ll have a blast. Plus, you’ve got me and O here to help with the entertainment.”_ Raven winks.

_“That’s right!”_ Octavia yells from her spot at the grill.

Clarke chuckles at her friends’ attempt at making her calm down. _“Yes, you’re totally right. I’m sure whatever embarrassing things that could happen will be all due to you two idiots.”_

_“Hey! I heard that!”_ Octavia shouts. _“Raven was the one who decided it would be a good idea to jump that fence to spray paint a penis on the Victoria Secret billboard.”_

_“Traitor!”_ Raven yelled towards Octavia. _“You totally said you had my back that whole time then ditched me as soon as you saw the police lights.”_

_“I wasn’t about to go to jail just because you didn’t like that that girl Charlotte won America’s Next Top Model.”_

_“She cheated O! Jessica totally should have won that season. Someone had to do something.”_

Clarke shook her head and laughed as she watched her two friends bicker again over their favorite reality show. She had been friends with Raven and Octavia for many years now. All three met in college when Clarke was 19. They were all taking an English literature class and were paired up to do an assignment. They bonded rather quickly after that and haven’t been apart ever since. They would constantly bicker with one another; Clarke and O would always be tasked with getting Raven out of whatever trouble she found herself in. They had been by Clarke’s side through some rough patches over the years, as well as her entire journey of pursuing her art career. It had actually been the two of them that encouraged Clarke to submit one of her works into a local art showing; one that had gotten Clarke an immense amount of recognition and sold for $12,000. Raven and O had also been the most active when it came to looking after Aden. From the start Raven and O would babysit him if Clarke had to be present for a show or gala event. They’d assist with picking him up from after school when he was too young to be home by himself, and go to his school events with her when she asked. Clarke didn’t know what she would do without them. **_‘Probably nothing.’_** She thought to herself. The two women were her rock, and she could think of no better people to help her with the task of welcoming in the new people coming into her life.

Clarke smiled as her friends started to bicker over a new topic. **_‘I can’t with these two.’_** Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the doorbell ring.

_“They’re here! They’re here!”_ Aden called from the house.

_“I got it!”_ Clarke replied as she reentered her home and approached the front door. She stood at the door for a moment to smooth out her blue V-neck shirt and jeans. **_‘Here we go.’_** She took a quick breath then opened the door for her guests.

Clarke felt her breath catch in her throat as her blue eyes met with smiling green ones. Clarke always felt herself become captivated whenever her sight met with Lexa’s. She wasn’t sure as to why though, she figured it might have to do with the fact that she was an artist and Lexa was indeed an astounding model to behold. The shape of her jawline stood with such authority, as if the gods themselves sculpted it to perfection. Her high cheekbones softened the landscape of her face, bearing an innocence that you wouldn’t believe a person who fought all their lives would own. Her long brown mane was tamed within a ponytail, light glistening off of the surface with such a shine. Her brows were moderately thin and elegant; her lips dressed with a shade of pink and pouted outwardly. And her eyes, **_‘Damn, those eyes.’_** , they beamed with intensity Clarke had never seen before. The mixing of green and brown would illicit a sense of calm, and yet demanded respect from whomever they laid themselves upon. It blew her mind that such a regal looking woman had a career in successfully beating the hell out of people who stood in her way of victory. Something Clarke couldn’t deny had its own appeal to it.

Then she would remember how this was also the same person whom had displayed such gentleness with her son.  She’d never seen Aden smile and laugh as much as he did when Lexa was present. He was normally a shy, quiet, reserved boy. Especially when she met him all those years ago. He would barely speak a word, reject physical contact, or look people in the eye. He had improved much since she adopted him, but he had never changed so rapidly until Lexa entered his life. **_‘Their lives.’_** She had watched Aden struggle through the loss of his family over the years. Of course he did so internally. He never spoke of his pain, not even to Clarke at first. Though they bonded rather quickly from their initial meeting, she had to work to get him to truly open his heart to her. To see that he had met someone, other than herself, that brought him such joy warmed her heart. To see her boy, her Aden, so happy made Clarke feel almost as euphoric.

Clarke shook herself out of her momentary chain of thought and greeted her guests with a warm smile. _“Hey you guys, I’m glad you could make it.”_

Lexa returned Clarke’s smile with one of her own, _“We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”_

The taller woman behind Lexa with a rather stoic look on her face raised up her hand with a bag of items in it. _“We brought beers.”_ She said with a low, monotone voice.

**_‘That must be Anya.’_** Clarke thought.

The younger shorter, wavy haired woman raised both her hands in the air, a bag with items in each, and a childish grin on her face. _“And some extra sodas for the non-alcoholics, as well as snacks.”_

**_‘And this must be Luna.’_** Clarke giggled.

Lexa chuckled along with her. _“So these two bozos are my long time buddies.”_ She pointed towards the back of her with her thumb. _“The bitched faced one to my right is Anya.”_ Then switched to the other side. _“And this cinnamon roll here is Luna.”_

_“Hi! Pleasure to meet ya!”_ Luna said excitably.

_“Indeed, a pleasure.”_ Anya replied.

Clarke gave them a warm and welcoming smile. _“It’s an honor to meet the both of you. I’ve heard nothing but great things. You can just place the stuff you brought on any of the tables out back.”_ She said as she pointed behind her. _“We just finished laying out all the food, my friend Octavia is just about done on the grill.”_

_“Awesome!”_ Luna replied. _“C’mon Anya!”_ She darted past Clarke towards the back door. Anya respectfully nodded her head to Clarke then gracefully followed behind the more energetic woman.

_“Forgive them.”_ Lexa said with a chuckle. _“Anya is…well Anya. And Luna basically fasted all morning so she could have enough room to try all of your wonderful cooking.”_

Clarke giggled. _“Oh, really? I’m assuming you bragged to them about my home cooked meals, huh?”_

Lexa shrugged. _“Maybe.”_

Clarke shook her head playfully. _“Well I hope it lives up to their expectations.”_

Lexa just answered with a smirk.

_“COMMANDER!!”_ Aden came sprinting out of his room to greet the brunette still standing in the front doorway. He wrapped his arms around her torso with his head laying against it.

Lexa winced a bit but happily welcomed the young boys’ embrace. She giggled and used her right hand to ruffle his blonde mop. _“Hey there little man.”_

Clarke took the moment look over the brunette as she embraced her son. She’d been so preoccupied looking at the artistry of Lexa’s face that she hadn’t noticed the state the other woman was in. Lexa’s left arm was bandaged and wrapped in a sling, probably due to the armbar she fought out of; a band aid was under her eye where Monroe had punched her, bruises along both her forearms due to blocking attacks; and from the wince she gave when Aden hugged her, she assumed her ribs were bandaged as well. **_‘She endured a lot in that fight. I hope she’s okay.’_**

As if Lexa had read her mind she said, _“No need to worry, I’m alright.”_

Clarke looked at her face, concern burning in her eyes. _“Are you sure? I wish you would have told me how beat up you were. I would have made sure to set out one of my more comfortable seats in the back for you to rest in.”_

Lexa chuckled. _“Nahh, it’s not all that bad. I’ve lived through worse.”_

Clarke looked at her skeptically, an eyebrow raised.

Lexa smiled. _“Honestly Clarke, I’m fine.”_

Clarke sighed and nodded.

Aden finally pulled his head from Lexa’s body and looked up at her. _“Wanna come see all the food mommy cooked? She even made your favorite, bacon cheeseburgers!”_

Lexa smiled at the boy and spoke excitedly, _“Really!?? I gotta get me some of those.”_

_“C’mon!”_ Aden took Lexa’s uninjured hand and led her through their home. Clarke giggled as she watched them head towards the backyard, and closed the front door behind her.

***

Lexa couldn’t help but chuckle as she watched her two friends interacting with Clarke’s already. She hadn’t met either of Clarke’s friends in person yet, but she could tell, from pictures that Aden had shared with her before, who each of them were. Raven and Anya were standing next to the food table. It looked like Raven was trying to describe something to Anya whom put on a front as if she was uninterested, but Lexa could tell just by looking at her from afar that she was intrigued by whatever topic was being discussed. Meanwhile, Luna was chatting it up with the other woman, whom she assumed was Octavia. She guessed it was an entertaining conversation, because both women were laughing away with each other.

Lexa felt a tug at her right hand and looked down at the boy whom was still holding on to it.

_“Wanna meet my aunties?”_ Aden asked.

Lexa smiled. _“You think they’ll like me?”_ She had to admit she was slightly nervous to meet the two women. Both Clarke and Aden had explained to her how important they both were. They were basically family and Aden had so far been raised knowing them as his aunts since Clarke was an only child. Family was always something that scared Lexa, so to meet people whom held such importance to the two whom she grew quite fond of was a big deal in her mind.

Clarke came up on the other side of them and placed a comforting hand on Lexa’s left shoulder. Lexa turned to face her. _“I’m sure they’re gonna love you Lex.”_

Lexa smiled and nodded.

_“So is this the great ‘Commander’ I’ve heard my nephew speak so highly of?”_

Lexa turned her attention to see a woman with a braided ponytail staring directly at her. Lexa gulped. **_‘Here goes nothing.’_** Lexa smiled softly then reached out her hand and said, _“Yes. I’m Lexa Woods. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”_

Raven raised a brow and smirked before grasping Lexa’s hand. _“Nice to meet’cha. The names Raven.”_ She let go then pointed behind her to Anya. _“Was just chatting with your friend Anya over here. She’s an interesting one.”_

Lexa chuckled. _“I apologize on her behalf if she’s already managed to offend you. She can be very blunt and sarcastic.”_

Raven giggled. _“I gathered as much. I actually really like people who are like that.”_

_“Yeah, because then you can have never ending arguments with them.”_ Octavia said as she and Luna approached the small group of people that was forming just outside the back door. She stuck here hand out to Lexa and said, _“Hey, I’m Octavia, but everyone just calls me O.”_

Lexa turned her attention to her and smiled before grasping her hand. _“It’s great to meet you uhh…O?”_

Octavia laughed. _“Awee, she’s nervous, how cute.”_

Lexa raised an eyebrow. **_‘Cute? Did she just say I was cute? And I’m not nervous…well maybe a little. Whatever.’_**

_“Lexa may act like the toughest kid on the playground, but in reality she’s an absolute fluff ball.”_ Luna commented with her signature goofy grin.

_“I am not a fluff ball!”_

_“Yes, you so totally are.”_

_“Am not.”_

_“From the time I’ve spent with you, I’d have to agree with Luna.”_ Lexa turned her head to see Clarke giggling.

**_‘She thinks I’m a fluff ball too?’_** Lexa felt her cheeks warming and the thumping of her heart in her ears. She figured it was only because she was embarrassed for being teased in front of everyone. She shrugged her shoulders and tried to play off her embarrassment.

_“I can tell we’re gonna get along great.”_ Luna said to Clarke with a smile.

_“I look forward to it.”_ Clarke replied.

Lexa just looked at Luna with a scowl and huffed. She felt a tug at her right hand again and looked down to mini blue eyes. Aden gestured her down with his index finger. Lexa knelt down on one knee, making herself eye level to the shorter boy. _“What’s up little man?”_

Aden whispered into Lexa’s ears, _“Don’t listen to them. They’re just jealous they’re not as badass as you.”_

Lexa giggled at Aden’s comment then replied, _“Glad to see you know me better than those loser faces.”_

Aden chuckled then pulled on her arm again. _“C’mon Commander, let’s get some burgers.”_

_“Deal!”_ Lexa rose to her feet and followed as Aden guided her past the group of people around them to the display table.

Everyone grabbed their own plates of food and made their way to different parts of the backyard to eat. Raven sat with Anya under the more shaded area near the house; Luna, O, and Clarke sat at the table in the middle of the yard, while Aden & Lexa made themselves comfortable by the small pool Clarke had in the backyard. It was a rather pleasant day for a BBQ. The sun was beaming down on them from up ahead, the sky was clear and blanketed the world with it’s wonderful blue; the temperature was in the 80’s, but a cool breeze kept them all from getting too hot under the sun. **_‘Just another perfect afternoon in Cali.’_** Lexa thought to herself.

As the day pressed on, any nervousness anyone had felt prior to the start had faded away. The group would come together every now and then, talking about nonsense such as TV shows, current events, and the like, then break apart into individual packs to converse among themselves. At one point, while Anya and Luna were relaxing in the pool with Aden, Lexa sat and talked with Raven, O, and Clarke a bit. She learned that Raven was a mechanical engineer whose hobbies included spray painting billboards she didn’t agree with, a master bullshiter, and loved to _‘build things that go BOOM’_ , her words exactly. Octavia on the other hand was a moderately famous personal trainer in San Diego. She’d help celebrities get their bodies ready for very physical roles, and even moonlighted as a stunt double for a few low-key indie films. Her passions included morning jogs through mountain passes, eating whatever the fuck she wanted since her metabolism was A+, and saving Raven’s ass from almost being arrested on numerous occasions.

Raven and O took some time to share a few stories about Clarke and their escapades in college. Lexa laughed particularly hard over one story they shared about how Raven built a make shift rocket launcher, loaded it with a baby doll, and with Clarke and O’s help, she launched it into the window of a local Sorority house, causing mass confusion and hysteria. **_‘I see why these three are friends.’_** Lexa thought after hearing a few more unbelievable stories from the trio. Every so often Lexa would look up and glance at Clarke while she laughed infectiously at the memories. Lexa had to admit, it always felt good hearing Clarke laugh so genuinely, she wasn’t sure why though. When Clarke’s eyes would occasionally meet hers, she’d smile at Lexa, which made her face feel warm, **_‘Probably just from the sun.’_** , which she would reciprocate with a smirk.

Lexa showed similar respect by sharing a few fun stories of her, Anya, and Luna from their youths. She told them how the three met because Anya tried to take the last cupcake at a street fair the orphanage took them to and Lexa decided to challenge her for it. While to two young girls wrestled to the ground, Luna hadn’t seen them, tripped, and completely fell on top of them. Anya and Lexa both felt bad, so they mutually agreed to give the cupcake to Luna instead as an apology. Luna gave them a toothy smile, and told them they were cool. They hadn’t been separated since. At some point, both women came over with Aden, sat with the rest of the group and continued with the sharing circle. Anya took it upon herself to share how Lexa was afraid of butterflies, so she’d catch one in a jar and leave it next to Lexa’s head while she slept. When Lexa woke up she screamed and ran out of her room cursing Anya’s name into the halls. The backyard was filled with endless entertainment. **_‘I wonder if this is what family BBQ’s are supposed to be like.’_** Lexa thought as she watched everyone around her smiling and laughing while swapping stories and poking fun at each other.

***

Clarke sat comfortably in one of her lawn chairs, sipping on some homemade iced tea, casually watching Anya and Luna wrestling in the pool with Lexa and Aden cheering them on in the sidelines. She chuckled as her eyes focused on her son shouting out to the two girls, occasionally looking to Lexa and saying something, which she would reward with a smile and ruffle of his hair. It was a rather innocent and heartwarming scene if she did say so herself. **_‘He looks so happy.’_** She couldn’t fight the smile that formed on her face at the sight.

_“You weren’t kidding. They really do get along swimmingly.”_

Clarke turned her head to see Raven and Octavia making themselves comfortable next to her then watching the view that Clarke had been entranced by.

_“I’ve never seen him in such high spirits before.”_ Octavia commented.

_“Yeah, it’s like he’s a whole other kid around her.”_ Clarke interjected as she continued to watch them.

_“Are you okay with that?”_ Raven asked.

Clarke turned to Raven and quirked an eyebrow. _“Of course I am, why?”_

_“Well, I know it took you a lot of time to get Aden to be like that with you. To see him warm up so quickly to this woman, does it hurt your mother ego at all?”_

Clarke understood what Raven was trying to ask. She wasn’t wrong to ask. Yes, Aden and her had hit it off at first because she drew him a picture that made his frown break into a small smile, but as far as emotional connections were involved, that was a whole other story. He would attend her art classes every day, and he showed interest in being around her, but he never spoke. The only reason Aden eventually opened up to her had been because she was persistent in her attempts at getting him to be comfortable enough to do so with her. In the beginning the boy would either not speak, run away every time she touched his shoulder, and just plain scowl at her when she attempted to get him to talk about his life with his parents before they died. It was a strain on her heart, but once he did finally start talking to her and letting his true colors show, they never looked back.

She saw the drastic difference when it came to Lexa. He never stopped talking, smiling, and laughing with her around. Even when he was just talking to Clarke about her, there was so much pride and joy radiating from his body. She wondered if it was because they both had a similar background that it made it so much easier for him to connect with her versus with Clarke. She could understand why Raven might be wondering if she felt any jealousy over this fact, but honestly she didn’t. Quite the opposite really. She was super excited that Aden had found someone who got him on a deeper level and brought out even more of him to share with the rest of the world. **_‘She is good to him. She is good for him.’_**

Clarke looked towards her son and Lexa, smiled then replied, _“Honestly Raven, I’m not bothered by it at all. All I want is for Aden to feel safe and be happy. I am grateful to Lexa because now I’m seeing sides of Aden I never knew were there.”_

_“I see.”_ Raven quirked an eyebrow as she watched Clarke’s demeanor soften. _“I’m guessing Aden’s not the only one benefitting from this friendship.”_

Clarke turned her attention back to Raven whom had a suspicious smile on her face while sipping on some iced tea. _“What do you mean?”_

_“It looks like Lexa has had an effect on you as well.”_ Octavia answered for Raven, knowing the woman would probably only have a smartass comment loaded and ready to go.    

Clarke raised a brow at Octavia. _“I guess. Since she came around, Aden has become more affectionate towards me. She’s really helping both me and him discover each other in new ways when I think about it.”_

Octavia nodded her understanding then asked, _“Aden aside though, how do you feel about her personally?”_

_“Yeah Clarkey, you seem to like her a lot yourself.”_ Raven added.

Clarke tilted her head slightly to the side. _“Well yeah I think she’s really sweet, and she’s very pleasant to be around.”_

_“Have you spent any time with her without Aden?”_ Octavia continued.

Clarke took a moment to mull over O’s question. _“I guess. I mean we sit and talk for a bit together whenever Aden falls asleep. I’ve had her over for dinner with us sometimes when she’d drop him off, and we’ve all sat and watched movies together.”_

_“Okay.”_ Raven said. _“But what O was asking was do you ever just spend time with Lexa alone. Like just the two of you, no Aden at all in the area.”_

_“Why do you ask?”_

_“Just curious is all.”_ Raven shrugged.

_“Raven...”_ Clarke spoke with a hint of sternness in her voice.

_“She thinks you have a crush on her.”_ Octavia finally said.

Clarke shot her head towards Octavia with a look of shock. _“A crush on who!?”_

_“The Commander, numbnuts.”_ Raven said as she pointed in Lexa’s direction.

Clarke felt herself blush at the accusation. _“Why would you think I have I crush on her. I barely know her.”_

_“Yes, and yet you trust her so openly with your son, and I constantly catch you looking at her with this gleam in those crystal blue eyes of yours.”_

_“Yeah, I’ve caught that too.”_ Octavia added. _“And I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her giving you some heart eyes as well while we were talking in the circle earlier.”_

_“Yup, me too.”_ Raven agreed.

_“You guys are off your rockers.”_ Clarke protested. _“Do I enjoy her company? Yes. Do I trust her with my son? Yes.”_

_“Are you attracted to her?”_ Octavia interrupted.

_“W-well I-I…”_ Clarke looked over to Lexa for a second. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel some kind of pull to the woman. She was beautiful, absolutely breathtaking in fact if Clarke really admitted. **_‘Am I attracted to her?’_** She thought to herself, then turned her attention back to her nosey friends. _“Yeah, I guess I do find her attractive.”_ Clarke confessed. _“But I wouldn’t go so far as to say I have a crush on her.”_

_“Not yet anyways.”_ Raven interjected as she sipped her iced tea with a smug look on her face.

_“Look who’s talking.”_ Clarke replies cleverly. _“I’ve seen you flirting with her friend Anya practically this entire time.”_

Raven coughed on her drink.

_“Gotta say, I’ve noticed that too Rave.”_ Octavia added while Clarke laughed over Raven almost killing herself.

_“Whose side are you on O?”_ Raven asked as she cleared her throat.

_“Mine.”_ Octavia replied with a grin.

_“Yeah, so I’ve been flirting with her every chance I’ve gotten. She’s hot, tall, has beautiful skin, long dirty blonde hair, with piercing hazel eyes; and she kicks people’s asses for a living. Mama’s gotta get her a piece of that.”_

Both Octavia and Clarke busted into uncontrollable laughter over their ever so blunt friend. **_‘These two are unbelievable.’_**

As their laughter started to die down a bit, Clarke turned her head only to find Lexa sitting alone on the sidelines of the pool, gazing not at the three knuckleheads in the pool, but at her. She felt her cheeks warming and her breath catch in her throat, as those gorgeous green orbs pulled her into their sights. Clarke was stuck on stupid at this point and just could not tear herself away from Lexa’s eyes. They looked at her intensely, but Clarke could also see a speck of affection lingering behind them. Clarke’s eyes finally cut from Lexa’s, only to look down at her lips as they curled into an almost curious smirk. **_‘A flirtatious one perhaps?’_** She wondered. **_‘No, she couldn’t be looking at me like that.’_** But the very idea made Clarke’s heart beat in an unfamiliar rhythm. It took her a second but she finally returned the smirk with an affectionate smile of her own, which resulted in Lexa’s cheeks turning an ever so slight shade of red. **_‘Maybe it’s the heat.’_** She thought. **_‘Yeah, it has to be the heat’_**

***

As it got late and the sun started to go down, everyone worked together to clean up the backyard and get everything into the house. Anya and Raven took care of folding the chairs and placing them where they belonged, all the while continuing their seemingly pleasant bickering. Luna and O were cleaning dishes as a tag team, while Clarke, Aden, and Lexa pulled the cover over the pool and brought the last remaining items inside the house. Once everything was done, Anya, Luna, Raven, and O gathered their things, said their goodbyes and exited, leaving only Clarke, Aden and Lexa in the house.

Aden tried stifling a yawn as the three of them watched a movie on Netflix.

_“Uh-oh, it looks like someone is tired.”_ Lexa teased.

Clarke chuckled. _“I think you’re right.”_

Aden shook his head then said, _“Nahh, I’m all good. I can stay up all night!”_

_“I’m sure you could.”_ Lexa replied. _“But if I know you as well as I think, then it looks like you’re gonna pass out any second now little dude.”_

Aden huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. _“Am not. I’m a warrior like you. I don’t need to sleep.”_

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at her son’s stubbornness. _“Even warriors like Lexa need rest every now and then.”_

Lexa nodded in agreement. _“Your mother’s definitely right with that one. I wouldn’t be able to fly in the sky like a superhero without a good night’s sleep.”_

Aden looked at his mother, who smiled at him, then looked to Lexa, _“Will I see you soon then?”_

Lexa nodded. _“Of course. Since you’re off from school this week, if your mother doesn’t mind, I’ll take you both out with me to walk the trail with Titus in a few days.”_ Lexa looked to Clarke. _“Is that okay with you, Clarke?”_

Clarke nodded in agreement. _“That sounds like fun. The studio is closed while they repair the vents so I’m free this week too.”_ She looked to Aden. _“You wanna do that A?”_

_“HECK YEAH!”_ Aden replied excitably, almost jumping out of his seat.

_“Then it’s a dat…uhh, deal. It’s a deal.”_ Lexa felt the need to catch herself on that last word. **_‘Was I about to say date?’_**

_“Okay, then I guess I’ll go to bed.”_ Aden rose to his feet and stretched a bit before hugging Clarke. _“Night mom.”_

_“Night sweetie.”_ Clarke replied.

Then Aden turned to carefully hug Lexa. Clarke had informed him that he hurt Lexa a bit last time because he hugged her wounds a little too tightly. _“Night Commander.”_

Lexa smiled. _“Nighty night little man. Go get some zzz’s.”_

Aden nodded then walked to his room and closed the door.

_“He just missed you while you were recovering from the last fight.”_ Clarke commented.

Lexa turned her attention to Clarke. _“I figured as much, I honestly missed him too. The both of you actually.”_

Clarke blushed a little at Lexa’s words. _“Oh please, only reason you probably missed me was because you wanted my food again.”_ Clarke said playfully.

Lexa chuckled. _“True, I am a huge fan of your cooking. But in all honesty I missed you for other reasons.”_

Clarke quirked an eyebrow. _“What other reasons?”_

**_‘Oh shit Lex, why did you say that?’_** Lexa looked down bashfully. _“J-just your company I guess. I like talking with you.”_

_“Is that so?”_

Lexa cleared her throat then returned her gaze towards Clarke. _“W-well yeah. I mean you’re probably the only person I can have a proper conversation with. With Anya and Luna, it’s mostly about training and the past, with Gustus it’s just about my career, and with Aden it’s just about how he’s doing in school and how much I inspire him. Not that I mind! It’s just, well I get to talk about everything else when I talk to you. It’s a nice change of pace. Does that make sense?”_

Clarke smiled and nodded. _“Yeah, I definitely get that.”_ She placed her hand atop of Lexa’s which was on her leg. _“I enjoy talking with you too Lex.”_

Lexa looked down at her hand being covered by Clarke’s and suddenly felt her body temperature spike. **_‘Why’s it so hot in here?’_** She shook her head then looked back at Clarke. _“U-uh, so, did you want me to leave so you could sleep?”_

Clarke removed her hand and placed it in her own lap. _“I’m not really tired at all. You’re welcome to stay and we can just hang out for a bit if you like.”_

_“Yeah, sure. That sounds cool. You wanna continue this movie or move onto another?”_

_“Aden didn’t want to see this without me, so I guess we should change it for his sake.”_ Clarke chuckled.

Lexa joined in and replied. _“Yeah, I can totally picture him throwing a fit because we finished this and know who the killer is before him.”_

_“Okay, then you pick the next one, and I’ll go grab us some popcorn and chocolates.”_

_“You put chocolate in your popcorn too?”_

_“I sure do. It’s a trick my father taught me.”_

_“No kidding?”_ Lexa smirked. _“Wait till I tell Anya and Luna I’m not the only weirdo in the world.”_

Both women laughed before Clarke got up to get their snacks, while Lexa chose another movie. Once Clarke returned, she sat a little closer to Lexa with the bowl in her lap. Lexa felt her cheeks burning again as the bare skin of her arm slightly grazed over Clarke’s. It wasn’t a lot of contact, but that didn’t stop her heart from racing in her chest. **_‘What the hell Lex, calm down. It’s just Aden’s mom.’_** She took a few short breaths to calm her body, then did her best to keep all of her attention on the movie in front of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys enjoy seeing a little R&R with everybody? What do you think is going on with Lexa and Clarke? Were Raven and O’s suspicions accurate? Please leave me your thoughts and comments, as well as some lovely kudos if you like.


	5. “You’re So Clueless”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again bouncing between Clarke and Lexa’s POV. Lexa spends some time with her best friends, while Clarke does the same with hers. Some interesting things about the BBQ arise.

Chapter 5: “You’re So Clueless”

_“Hey! That was the last fry you dipshit!”_ Luna yells at Anya.

Anya just chuckles devilishly as she pops the fry into her mouth.

_“You know you have to be faster than that if you wanna survive with Anya around.”_ Lexa teased.

Luna looks at Lexa with burning frustration, _“Well she needs to stop being such a selfish asshat!”_

_“Woah there, cowgirl.”_ Anya replies playfully. _“Easy on the language.”_

Luna shoots her attention back to Anya. She scowls and says, _“SHUT UP!”_ Then throws the empty fry box wildly at Anya.

Anya manages to duck to the side and laughs at her friends’ attempt. _“So now you’re trying to end my life via box o’fries?”_

Luna growls at Anya, the scowl growing ever so evidently on her face.

_“Now now, calm it down kids.”_ Lexa raises her good hand towards Luna in an easing gesture. _“There’s no need for this to get violent. I agree with you Luna; Anya is in fact being an asshat.”_

Anya looks at Lexa, _“Hey! What the fuck!?”_

Lexa turns to hush Anya, which she does reluctantly, then looks back at Luna. _“But still there’s no reason to try and start a fight over something so minimal.”_

_“Yeah, especially since it’s a fight you would never win.”_ Anya says with a cocky tone in her voice and lifting of her chin in superiority.

_“Oh yeah?”_ Luna asks.

_“Yeah.”_

_“Then prove it, you son of a….”_

_“ENOUGH!”_ Lexa commands, the frustration seeping through her vocal chords. _“You two are acting like children. There is no need for this. We never get time like this to just relax, so I won’t have your bickering be the reason why my Zen is completely thrown into the trash, so cut both your shit!”_

Both women look at Lexa a little shocked, but immediately comply with her demands. They both take deep breaths to calm their tempers.

Luna is the first to apologize. _“I’m sorry Lex, you’re right. We do need this chill time. I completely overreacted.”_

_“Damn right you did.”_ Anya says under her breath.

Lexa shoots her a threatening glare, which makes Anya raise her hands up in surrender.

_“Okay, okay. My bad.”_ She looks to Luna. _“I’m sorry for being…well an asshat, I guess.”_

Luna smiles victoriously. _“Why thank you, I appreciate it.”_

_“Good. Now can you both at least pretend to be civil again for my sake?”_ Lexa asks. Both women answer with a nod. Lexa smiles then says, _“Great. Now if you wouldn’t mind, finish this round in the game and keep things rolling.”_

It had been day two for two out of the three women’s respective vacations. Lexa was forced to sit out of training for the last week since her fight with Monroe, while Anya and Luna continued their sessions at the gym every day. Gustus allowed Anya and Luna a few days of rest since it was going to be a few weeks till their own bouts took place; but also, secretly, he had wanted to give the girls a chance to really spend time with their injured campmate. Gustus was all about unity and _‘being there for your fellow mates’_. Though he did not voice this in all actuality, the girls knew him well enough to know that it was his intention. **_‘Such teddy bear.’_** Lexa thought to herself when they told her of Gustus’ decision.

The girls decided to spend the day just being leisurely at Lexa’s house. Anya and Luna had arrived earlier with some philly cheesesteaks and fries, while Lexa supplied the group with a case of Coronas. It was meant to just be a day of relaxation, but of course Anya could always be counted upon when it comes to inciting a little chaos. So to think the women could all sit and enjoy a peaceful day filled with some games and laughs, was probably out of the question.

_“The fuck Anya!?”_ Luna exclaimed. _“You totally fucking cheated!”_

Anya chuckled. _“No, you just suck at this game.”_

_“Fuck you!”_

_“I couldn’t possibly. You’re basically my little sister.”_ She replies slyly.

_“Eww, c’mon. You know exactly what I fucking meant.”_ Luna scowled at Anya as she threw her gaming controller on the couch.

_“C’mon now Luna!”_ Lexa scolds. _“Don’t take it out on the controller. I just bought that for Aden.”_

_“Oops! My bad Lex. I just hate it when Anya cheats.”_

_“I didn’t cheat.”_ Anya says, tone low and face as stoic as ever.

Luna quirks as brow. _“So constantly punching my character while I’m trying to get up isn’t considered cheating to you?”_

_“Nope.”_

_“Then what do you call it?”_

_“I call it you sucking at wrestling games.”_

_“How about you suck on a…”_

_“ENOUGH ALREADY!”_ Lexa yells at her two bickering companions.

It seemed as if Lexa was always playing monkey in the middle with these two. Outside the gym, the two would continuously bicker and argue as well as find all sorts of ways to challenge the other with the intent to humiliate them. One time Anya had decided it would be a grand idea to stash unwrapped candy in Luna’s pillowcase, then collected a few ants to crawl into her bed. **_‘Girl has a secret obsession with bugs I think.’_** Luna didn’t sleep for an entire week. Even though Anya and Lexa were rivals when it came to physical feats, Anya took the most pleasure out of amping up the usual calm, bubbly, and collected Luna. Growing up, Anya would constantly pull pranks on the two of them, but reserved her better ones to torture Luna with. _‘It’s hilarious seeing Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks turn into Beast when she gets all riled up.’_ Lexa remembers Anya telling her at one time. In contrast to that though, Anya would also always be the first one to stand up for Luna and comfort her when things were at their roughest.

_“Bark!”_ Titus responded in agreement with his master.

_“See, even Titus has grown tired of your insanity.”_ Lexa rubs Titus’ ears in approval of his support.

The two women huff and nod at Lexa. Luna goes to pick up the controller she threw and unpaused the match so that they could continue. Every once in a while Luna would hear Lexa’s phone start buzzing and watched as she would smile widely as she responded. It got Luna thinking that whomever Lexa was talking to had to be pretty important because Lexa was never really a fan of being on the phone, texting or otherwise.

Luna decides to voice a thought that crossed her mind. _“So....you bought this controller for Aden huh?”_

Lexa turns her attention away from the TV to look at her friend with a questioning brow. _“Yeah, he had showed it to me in a magazine once and said he really wanted one, so I went and got it so he could have it here when he comes over.”_

Luna smiles playfully. _“Ah, I see.”_ Lexa feels an uneasiness. _“And what did Clarke think about you buying a gift for her son?”_

Anya catches onto where Luna was going with her line of questioning and smirks.

_“She was fine with it.”_ Lexa replies. _“She said she thought it was really sweet of me.”_

_“So she thinks you’re sweet huh?”_

Lexa mulls over the question. _“Well yeah, she has said so on more than one occasion actually.”_

Lexa fights the urge to smile when she remembers how on one of the days she stayed a little while to hang out with the twosome. Aden had fallen asleep during a movie the three were watch, as per usual, and had his head resting in her lap. He started twitching a bit in his sleep, Lexa thought he was probably having a nightmare, so out of instinct she gently rubbed her fingers through his dirty blonde hair. Soothing him till his body finally relaxed and his breathing steadied. She looked up to see that Clarke had been watching the exchange the whole time. She rewarded Lexa with a warm smile and said _‘That was awfully sweet of you.’_ The genuine appreciation was seeping from her gaze, Lexa being its only target, which caused the brunette’s heart to go into overdrive. **_‘No one has ever looked at me that way before.’_** It made Lexa feel like all the victories in the world couldn’t compare to that particular moment.

Lexa is snapped out of her momentary daydream when she hears Luna speak again.

_“What else does she think of you?”_

Lexa narrows her eyes at Luna. _“Why do you ask?”_

_“Just curious.”_

_“About what exactly?”_

_“She’s wondering if part of you is using the kid to get in his mother’s pants.”_ Anya exclaims bluntly.

_“WHAT THE FUCK! SERIOUSLY!??”_ Lexa responds, snarling at Anya. _“I would never take advantage of Aden to get to Clarke. I got the gift for him because I enjoyed doing it, that’s all.”_ A small hint of rage starts to bud in her chest. **_‘How could they ever think I’d do something as despicable as that?’_**

_“Okay, okay. Calm down Lexie.”_ Luna replies as she paused the game again. She gently sits the controller on the end table beside her, then turns her attention to Lexa _. “I was just wondering that’s all.”_

_“Yeah, no need to get all worked up about nothin.”_ Anya says. _“Unless there is something going on that we don’t know.”_

Lexa looks at her friend, still feeling slightly offended by her accusation. _“You know I don’t hide shit from you guys, so I don’t know why you both are asking about this. Clarke is nothing more than…”_

***   

_“...just a friend.”_ Clarke replies as she looks shyly at the glass of white wine she’s twirling with in her hands. _“At least I think we are.”_ She looks up at her friends; both Raven and Octavia watch her curiously.

Since Aden was spending the day with his grandmother, Abby; Clarke, Raven, and Octavia decided to enjoy the beautifully sunny at the spa downtown. It had been some time since they had gone last, so they figured it was the perfect moment to do so. Thus far, it was a rather enjoyable evening. They started the session off with massages and facials, and each took a turn in the steam room; now they were just sitting at a table next to the pool with some drinks. All Clarke wanted to do today was take in the joys of being primped and pampered with her two non-biological sisters, but it seemed Raven and O were on a mission to further push Clarke on the topic that was _‘Lexa Woods.’_

_“Why are you guys still on me about this?”_

_“Have you not seen the unbelievable sexual tension between you two?”_ Raven asks.

Clarke did her best to hide the sudden blush she was sure had started to rise on her face by taking a swig of her drink.

_“We told you yesterday how we kept catching you both looking at each other.”_ Octavia interjects.

_“Yeah, and the way you kept putting your hand on her every chance you got. I was waiting for you to start pulling at her clothes at any moment.”_ Raven chuckled, Octavia joining right behind her.

Clarke tried to rack her brain to figure out what they were referring to. It was true, Clarke did put her hand on Lexa’s shoulder and arms a few times during the day. Once at the door, while she was helping serve Lexa a plate, while she was assisting Lexa with moving the supplies in the house, once while they were…. ** _’Wow, was I really so handsie with her?’_** She shook her head. **_‘No, it was all purely innocent.’_**

_“C’mon guys, really? I didn’t touch her that much.”_ Clarke protested. _“It was just friendly pats on the shoulder and maybe at one point an assuring hand on hers.”_ Clarke panicked momentarily as she realized she never shared that information with her friends. She had blocked them all day before about not having a crush on Lexa, but omitting that slight piece of information was about to start a fire she didn’t have the tools to control. **_‘Shit, here we go.’_**

Raven spits out the wine she just started to drink, while Octavia’s mouth drops open. _“Wait, what? When did you guys hold hands??”_ O asks while patting Raven on the back.

_“We did not hold hands O. I may have just covered hers with mine at one point when we were talking last night. It was…”_

***

_“…no big deal.”_ Lexa says as nonchalantly as possible, knowing full well that Anya and Luna were going to spin the gesture into something more. _“She was just doing it to show her appreciation.”_

Anya quirked an eyebrow at Lexa then says, _“She just ‘shows her appreciation’ to you in interesting ways a lot doesn’t she?”_

Luna looked at her with eyes bursting with bubbliness. _“Oh my god Lex, please tell me you totally blushed when she touched you?”_ Luna said excitably.

_“I did not!”_ Lexa lied, when in all reality the woman was sure her face transformed into a tomato in the moment in question.

_“You totally did, didn’t you?”_

Lexa huffed. _“I did no…”_

_“You’re flustered right now as we speak.”_ Anya interrupts.

_“No! It’s just hot in here.”_ Lexa argues.

_“The AC is on high. Try again Commander.”_

_“You know what? I think it’s time for you two assholes to leave.”_ Lexa says as she gets up from the couch to go to the kitchen.

She started feeling uncomfortable being the center of attention, and being the sole reason her usually bickering friends were currently tag teaming her. She threw her empty Corona bottle in the recycling bin, then grabbed another out of the fridge. She popped the top open and took a swig before returning to the living room, scowling at them for pushing the issue. She decided this conversation needed to switch in scope so she eyed Anya mischievously. **_‘Wanna play bitch? Two can play this game.’_**

_“You know what Anya, you’re one to talk when it comes to flirting with people.”_

Anya cocks an eyebrow. _“What are you insinuating?”_

Lexa smirks. _“I saw how comfortable you were getting with Clarke’s friend; Raven was it?”_

Anya steadies herself, doing her best not to show any reaction to Lexa’s words.

**_‘Oh yeah, I got you now.’_** Lexa thought as she continued. _“You kept acting like you were completely uninterested in her, but I know you better than that. You were totally enjoying the fact that she was flirting with you. Think I didn’t notice?”_

_“Now that you mention it…”_ Luna adds. _“…I did see you guys talking a lot yesterday. Even after we left, you two split off towards your house…”_ Luna’s gasps as the realization hits her. _“Oh my god.”_

Anya looks at Luna and narrows her eyes.

Lexa bursts out into laughter as she pieces together Luna’s story. _“Holy shit Anya! You seriously fucking…”_

*** 

_“…slept with her didn’t you?”_ Clarke accuses.

The three women simultaneously went quiet. Clarke looked suspiciously at Raven, eyes digging into her like a detective interrogating a suspect. Octavia cocked an eyebrow, her eyes darting between the determined looking blonde and slightly hesitant brunette.

Finally, Raven smirks devilishly and answered, _“So what if I did?”_

Clarkes jaw dropped instantly, she couldn’t believe Raven actually admitted it. **_‘I mean I had a feeling, but wow really??’_** Her mind went into a frenzy of disbelief.

_“Holy shit Raven! I knew you were into her, but damn that was fast.”_ Octavia says as shock takes her over.

Raven shrugs. _“She didn’t seem to mind. She was the one who…”_

***

_“…initiated it first.”_ Anya confessed.

Anya’s willingness to admit such a thing upfront took Lexa completely off guard. She was sure Anya would be at least a little embarrassed, but the girl wore the fact like a badge of honor.

_“You couldn’t even take the lady to dinner first?”_ Luna asked, still trying to process the new information.

_“Technically we did have dinner first.”_

_“Don’t twist the truth of the situation Anya.”_ Lexa scolded. _“What if you did that and she wasn’t serious about hooking up with you?”_

Luna nodded in agreement.

Anya shrugged then grinned mischievously. _“She didn’t seem to mind that I…”_

***

_“…totally fucked my brains out.”_ Raven said shamelessly.

Clarke looked at Raven slightly horrified while Octavia couldn’t hold back her need to laugh hysterically at the situation unfolding before her.

_“Oh my god Raven, I can’t…I can’t…”_ Octavia was losing the ability to breathe. She took a few deep breaths before finally being able to speak again. _“Please tell me it was great?”_

Clarke punched Octavia in the shoulder. _“What the fuck O! Don’t encourage her!”_

_“It was fucking orgasmic.”_ Raven replied.

_“I bet it was.”_

_“O!”_ Clarke punched her in the arm again.

_“Damn Princess, ease it up. No need to be such a prude.”_

_“I’m not being a prude!”_ Clarke protested, then looked to Raven whom was still smirking as confident as ever. _“I just can’t believe you did that Raven.”_

_“Ya damn right I did that, and in sooo many different ways.”_ Raven winked at Clarke seductively.

_“RAVEN!”_

_“In fact I must admit Anya was quite skillful. I shit you not I came like….”_

***

_“…four times during the whole session.”_ Anya smirked widely and lifted her chin victoriously.

Luna was still overwhelmed in shock, while Lexa looked at her friend completely irritated; her hand clinching hard around her Corona so tightly that her knuckles were turning pale.

_“You are unfucking believable Anya.”_ Lexa said with frustration.

Anya rolled her eyes. _“I saw something I liked and went after it.”_

_“She’s Clarke’s best friend!”_ Lexa shouted. _“What if she finds out and doesn’t…”_

_“Want you around anymore?”_ Anya finishes. _“You worried you’ll lose Aden because of her disapproval of the company you keep?”_

Lexa looked at her utterly dumbfounded. She knew Anya was trying to take the heat off of herself at the moment and throw it back at Lexa. Anya was not the kinda of person to just let herself be attacked, and since she knew Lexa like the back of her hand, Lexa was well aware that Anya was going to show her no mercy for putting her on the spot.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at Anya. _“That’s not what I’m saying.”_

_“Then what are you saying? Are you mad that I had the balls to make a move on the woman I liked, but you won’t make yours?”_

Lexa flinched. **_‘This bitch…’_**

Anya chuckled at her friends’ sudden silence. _“You do like her, don’t you?”_

Lexa answered hesitantly. _“T-that’s not…”_

_“Don’t lie to me Lexa.”_ Anya interrupted. _“I’ve seen you sleep with woman after woman, tossing them aside without shame each time, but this one, this one is different isn’t she?”_

Anya was pulling out the big guns now. It was pretty common knowledge among Lexa’s personal circle and even in the media that Lexa was an all-out studded playboy (or playgirl as she liked to refer herself as). She flirted with women shamelessly and most nights since she was 19 she almost never went home alone when they all went out. Lexa had admitted to having commitment issues which would force her to cheat on whatever woman she happened to be with longer than a few days. She’d slept with so many women by this point that most of their names and faces were all a blur of drunken nights and endless moans of the word ‘Commander’ singing in her ears. This was not something she hid, nor was it anything she particularly ashamed of. There was a constant voice in her head that told her _‘Love is weakness’_ , and Lexa ‘The Commander’ Woods was not weak. So she kept anyone who tried to take her heart hostage as far away as possible. And in turn anywhere she went there was a trail of broken hearts that followed behind her every footstep. But since meeting Aden and Clarke, that all had come to a holt.

Yeah she still had drinks every now and then with the crew, but now she didn’t bother hitting on women, and if another woman tried to hit on her she’d just politely reject the offer. She just didn’t feel interested in anyone, and didn’t feel right about it anymore for some reason. She figured maybe it was a habit she was slowly growing out of. The need to have the body of another warming her bed. A bed she would soon abandon as soon as things got too for her taste. **_‘I’m only 24, so that can’t be true.’_** But she wasn’t willing to admit it had to do the new two factors in her life. **_‘No, it couldn’t be because of them._** ’ The newly celibate playgirl was a drastic change that didn’t go unnoticed, she was sure, but no one had addressed her about. Not till now at least. But Lexa was no coward, so if Anya wanted to confront her about this, then she wasn’t going to run away.

_“Of course she’s different.”_ Lexa admitted. _“She’s not just some woman I’ve met at a bar or club. She’s Aden’s mother. I care about Aden and the last thing I would want to do is fuck that up.”_

Anya raised an eyebrow, seemingly surprised at Lexa’s confession.

_“So you have thought about sleeping with her?”_ Luna questioned, now finally recovered from her after shock.

Lexa looked to Luna and said, _“No, it’s not like that.”_

_“So then you care about her too?”_

Lexa opened her mouth to speak but the words did not come out. Of course she cared about Clarke. She’d be lying if she tried to say otherwise. She found Clarke absolutely stunning. Whenever she was around the blonde it took everything in her power not to flirt with her or stare too much (one she was better with than the other). In different circumstances she was damn sure she would have tried to pursue Clarke with all of her charisma and charm. But she couldn’t go there, to her the end result of that would only mean the end of what she had started to build with her and more importantly her son. This was the first time she had ever had such a dynamic with people other than Anya, Luna, and Gustus. She liked the way it felt; the safety and security. She wasn’t ready to give that up. She refused to give that up.

_“It doesn’t matter how I feel or don’t feel.”_ Lexa finally said. _“If I go down that road it’ll only end in disaster. You both know that.”_

Anya shrugged. _“So what if the longest relationship you’ve ever had with another woman only lasted a few months?”_

Luna nodded in agreement. _“We know you have commitment issues, but we both saw the way you held her after the fight with Monroe, and then the way you looked at her yesterday.”_ Luna stood up from her spot on the couch and approached Lexa. She rested her hand gently on Lexa’s right shoulder to avoid aggravating the injured one. She smiled innocently at her troubled looking friend. _“Maybe with Aden in the mix of it, it’ll give you more motivation to actually try this time, ya’know?”_

Anya decided to step in and add to what Luna was saying. _“Or is Aden the reason…”_

***

_“…why you’re so against going for her in the first place?”_ Raven said bluntly.

Clarke flinched at the question. Aden did play a factor into why she has yet to really pursue her attraction to the brunette. Lexa meant the world to Aden. She was pretty sure at this point that Lexa meant just as much to him and she herself did to him. And at the same time she had grown to care for the fighter as well. But there was so much uncertainty there. What if she were to go after Lexa only to find out that this thing she thinks they have for one another was just in her mind? What if the affection she’d been curious was towards her was nothing more than something friendly? If she said something it would only make things awkward for the both of them, and might even force Lexa into spending less time with Aden. And even if the feelings were mutual between the two, how would that work? What if things got too serious and they discovered it was something neither of them was ready for and Lexa decided to exit both their lives altogether? Clarke couldn’t have that happen. She refused to have that happen.

Clarke calmly inhaled and exhaled, then spoke, _“I don’t want to be the reason why my son loses one of the best things that’s ever happened to him.”_ She admits. _“He’s been through so much; you guys know that. But Lexa…Lexa has given him so much hope and motivation. I’ve never seen him glow the way he does with her. Why should I ever risk that for my own selfish reasons?”_

Both her friends looked at her, a hint of concern in both their eyes. They could see that Clarke was battling with this decision internally. It had been a long time since Clarke invested in a relationship with anyone outside of her family. The last one was back in college to man whom turned out to be a twisted and crazy son-of-a-bitch, which put Clarke off dating for a while. Once she graduated and was in a better place though, both Raven, Octavia, and even her mother Abby had tried to push her into dating. It bothered them to see such a wonderful woman like herself constantly waking up alone and never having someone to be intimate with. Clarke tried a few times for their sake, but no one ever held her interests. But this time was different. They knew Clarke well enough to notice that she had grown to really like Lexa, aside from Aden, but her relationship with Aden was far too important.

Raven and Octavia looked at each other knowingly then nodded as if they just had a silent conversation.

Raven cleared her throat then said, _“We understand Princess. If this is what you want to do, we’ll support you all the way.”_

Octavia rubbed Clarke’s shoulder and smiled. _“Yeahh Clarkey. Yes, we do think you two would be absolutely adorable with each other, but we get that you’d be putting a lot on the line for it. We respect that.”_

Clarke looked between her two friends and smiled gratefully. Raven and O always pushed her to put herself out there, they hated to see her on her own for so long. **_‘I get it, they mean well.’_** But she appreciated that they were being understanding with her over this complicated situation.

_“So I guess the next question is…”_ Raven says. _“…what are you gonna…”_

***

_“….do about how you feel about her?”_ Luna asks.

Lexa mulled over Luna’s question. She knew she felt something for Clarke, something that she had honestly never felt before with any other woman she’s encountered, but she was a package deal. In order to have her, meant having Aden too. This was not something that bothered her, but with her history she also knew that if she fucked things up, then losing Clarke would also mean losing Aden. **_‘That can’t happen.’_**

In such a short time, the two had started to become something absolutely vital to her. With Aden and Clarke, Lexa had begun to finally get a sample of the idea of the family she’d always dreamed of growing up. A family she wanted for herself, but she did not trust herself with them enough to go after something like that. **_‘I have to make this decision with my head, and not with my heart.’_**

Lexa took a breath then spoke. _“I think it’s best to keep her as a friend. It may not be all that I want, but it is all I really need, right now anyways.”_

Anya and Luna nodded their understanding to Lexa. Who were they to judge if their friend did not want to complicate the bond she was developing with this woman and her son? They wanted Lexa to be happy, and the two certainly did that for her more than enough in their current state.

_“Are you gonna see them again soon?”_ Luna asked.

_“Yeah. I invited them to go on the trail with me and Titus tomorrow.”_

_“How very domestic of you.”_ Anya teased.

Lexa shot her a threatening look.

Anya held up her hands in surrender. _“I’m just messing with you, chill out.”_

Luna chuckled _. “How about we just keep things light for the rest of the night and drink to our hearts content?”_

_“And let me continue to keep kicking your ass in this wrestling game.”_ Anya said with a smug look on her face.

_“Fuck you Anya! I’m gonna own your ass in the next round.”_

_“Then get over here and put your money where your mouth is.”_

_“Challenge accepted bitch!”_

Lexa laughed as Luna ran back to the couch and grabbed her controller, looking more ready than ever to wipe that look off Anya’s face. _“Alright you two, you want some more beers?”_

_“Hell yeah!”_ Luna yelled as she focused on choosing the right character to play as.

_“mmhmm.”_ Anya answered as she did the same.

Lexa shook her head and went back towards the kitchen to retrieve the beverages. She grabbed two Coronas from the fridge, but juked as she felt the buzzing of her phone in her pocket. She sat the drinks on the table then unlocked the phone, and couldn’t help the smile that crept on her face.

_Message from Hot Mama Clarke: “My friends are so insufferable.”_

Lexa chuckled. Then replied,

_Message to Hot Mama Clarke: “Tell me about it, mine are no different.”_

_Message from Hot Mama Clarke: “You wanna swap stories on our hike tomorrow?”_

_Message to Hot Mama Clarke: “Is that your way of making sure we’re still on?”_

_Message from Hot Mama Clarke: “Maybe. Are we?”_

_Message to Hot Mama Clarke: “Of course. Can’t wait to hang with my two biggest fans. Just be warned that Titus will probably drag us all over the place.”_

_Message from Hot Mama Clarke: “Looks like you and I will have to give Aden dog walking duty then.”_

Lexa laughed. **_‘She’s not gonna make this easy for me.’_**

_“Where’s those beers at Commander!”_ Anya yelled from the living room.

Lexa shook her head and continued texting.

_Message to Mama Hot Clarke: “Grumpy cat is calling, gotta get back to babysitting.”_

_Message from Hot Mama Clarke: “Sound exciting, good luck with that.”_

_Message to Hot Mama Clarke: “Thanks. So I’ll see you at 10am sharp tomorrow, yeah?”_

_Message from Hot Mama Clarke: “Okay. *smiley face emoji*”_

_“LEXA!!!”_ Anya and Luna yelled simultaneously.

_“Alright, you assholes! Geez, I’m coming.”_ Lexa yelled back. She put her phone in her pocket and maneuvered the two bottles into her right hand before going back to impatient companions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to put a nice mix of humor and seriousness in this one. So what did you think of the buddies laying some real talk on Clarke and Lexa? Do you think it’s right that they’re willing to ignore their attraction to each other for Aden’s sake? Leave me your thoughts in the comments, as well as some kudos love. Thanks guys!


	6. “One Foot in Front of the Other”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke’s POV. Lexa takes the Griffin family trail hiking with her and her dog Titus. ***WARNING: Mature Content towards the end.

Chapter 6: “One Foot in Front of the Other”

_“C’mon Aden!”_ Clarke yelled from the kitchen as she packed the last of the lunch she prepared into plastic containers. _“We’re gonna be late.”_

_“I’m coming mom!”_ Aden called from his room.

Clarke shook her head as she finished packing. She figured they’d be on the trail for a while so she prepared lunch for them to have when they got a moment. She was sure Lexa wouldn’t mind since the woman constantly praised her cooking. At one point Clarke had made fettuccine alfredo for them. Lexa took a bite and practically moaned as she chewed it. Then she told Clarke how she was an angel sent from heaven to bless her with the food of the gods. **_‘I can’t with her.’_** Clarke chuckled to herself at the memory. Lexa was always sweet like that to her and to Aden. It blew her mind every time because that was not the same person they’d watch on TV or live. _‘The Commander’_ was strong, relentless, aggressive, blood-thirsty, and showed no mercy to the ones standing in front of her. While in contrast to that, Lexa was kind, gentle, attentive, goofy, a bit shy, and cared whole-heartedly for the people around her. _‘The Commander’_ would break her opponents’ bones, while Lexa would panic if Aden got a cut on his finger. It was truly unbelievable to Clarke that they were the same person, and only made her admire the fighter even more.

_“Okay, I’m ready!”_ Aden said as he exited his room and approached his mother in the kitchen. He had a wide smile on his face and gripped the straps of his book bag in excitement

**_‘I swear he can’t be 13 years old. He’s so child-like for his age.’_** She thought to herself and smiled back at him. _“Did you turn off everything in your room? I don’t want to see outrageous numbers on our Con-Ed bill just because you forgot to turn off the TV again.”_

_“I know, don’t worry. I triple dog checked everything.”_ Aden said confidently.

Clarke smiled then placed a hand gently on his shoulder and squeezed slightly. _“Such a responsible young man you are.”_

_“Thanks ma.”_ Aden nodded.

**_‘Thanks ma. Wow.’_** It was only two words, but two words that lit up Clarke’s life whenever she heard it. It had taken such a long time for him to be comfortable enough with Clarke to call her anything besides _‘Ms. Griffin’_. In the early days, she’d ask him to call her _‘Clarke’_ at least, but he always refused to do so. She was pretty sure it was because he had been hurting so much over the loss of his parents that he didn’t want to bother getting close to someone else. He fought against bonding with someone, only to lose them, and Clarke could definitely understand that. It wasn’t until Clarke shared the story of how she lost her father and favorite uncle with Aden that he finally opened up to her. She feels like since they had this thing in common, the feeling of loss of people so special to them, that it made them both feel safe enough to let the other in. From that point on _‘Ms. Griffin’_ turned to _‘Clarke’_ , _‘Clarke’_ turned to _‘Parental Guardian’_ , _‘Parental Guardian’_ turned to _‘Mommy, mom, or ma.’_   A warm feeling always started in her heart when she heard the words, because she earned them, fought for them, and then was rewarded with them.

Clarke bent down to kiss the dirty blonde’s forehead then stood up and said, _“Of course. Now let’s go. We don’t want Titus peeing on Lexa’s leg or something ‘cause we were late.”_

Both laughed at the idea then Clarke grabbed the bag with all their stuff and they exited the house, and then walked to her 2015 Toyota Camry Sedan (a car she loved very much). As Aden got into the car, she put the bag she had in the trunk and entered the drivers’ seat. She checked the mirrors, that Aden had his seat belt on, then started the car up. Once it was ready to go she hit the gas and started off towards Lexa’s house.

***

Clarke put the car in park as they arrived then looked at her phone. She checked the time and saw that it was 9:45am. **_‘Not bad Griffin.’_** She praised herself. Then she unlocked her phone to text Lexa.

Message to The Commander: _“Hey! We’re waiting for you outside. Sorry, if we’re a little too early.”_

Message from The Commander: _“No biggie, I prefer when people are actually early or on time. I definitely don’t get that with Anya and Luna. *laughing emoji* But give me a sec, having a little trouble getting my shirt on with this arm.”_

Clarke felt concern run through her body.

Message to The Commander: _“Do you need some help? I could come in and assist you with putting it on?”_

Message from The Commander: _“That won’t be awkward for you?”_

Message to The Commander: _“Of course not Lex. What are friends for?”_

Message from The Commander: _“Duly noted. Yeah, I honestly could use a hand. The front door is open so you can just walk in.”_

Message to The Commander: _“Okay, be there in a sec.”_

Clarke closed her phone then turned to Aden.

_“Hey kiddo, Lexa needs a little help so I’m gonna go inside real quick. You okay to chill in the car?”_

Aden nodded. _“Yeah ma, it’s coolbeans. Can you just change the station?”_

Clarke chuckled. She was a huge pop fanatic, which drove Aden crazy. He was more of a rock lover, which she didn’t really understand, but accepted. She changed the radio to his favorite one then exited the car. She walked past the 1977 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am in Lexa’s driveway (a car she absolutely loved and drooled over every time she saw it) then entered the house. Clarke always quite enjoyed Lexa’s home. It was obvious that one person lived here considering all the geek collectables she had scattering the shelves in the living room, and posters of fighters and bands she loved. It looked like a 15-year-old boy owned it, something Clarke couldn’t deny she found rather cute about the fighter. **_‘Stop it Clarke.’_** She shook her head at the thought as she continued to walk inside.

Titus approached her, overjoyed to see a new guest in the house. He barked happily, tongue hanging out as he panted, and wagged his little nub of a tail. Clarke chuckled at the puppy-like Rottweiler and pet his head gently.

_“And how are you today big boy?”_ She spoke with a baby voice.

_“Bark bark!”_ Titus responded, tail wagging even more at the contact. He licked her arm vigorously as she stroked his ears.

Clarke was in awe at how gentle and loving this huge 100lb dog was. He was always so playful and nice with everyone he met, listened to every command he was given, and stuck by the side of his most favorite people. That list consisted of Lexa, Aden, Luna, and herself. Clarke felt pretty honored that the big pup loved her so much since she never really had a pet of her own growing up.

She rubbed his ears a little more then said, _“That’s a good boy. Where’s your mama at?”_

_“Bark bark!”_ Titus responded as if he could speak her language, making Clarke chuckle.

_“I’m in here!”_ Lexa called from the room down the hall. _“Second door to the left.”_

Clarke kissed Titus on the top of his head, then headed to the room as instructed. Once she made it in front she knocked.

_“It’s open, come on in.”_ Lexa said from behind the door.

Clarke opened it and started to walk inside but stopped when her eyes took notice at what was in front of her. Lexa was standing next to her bed in low-cut dark blue denim jean shorts that went just below her knees, black and white DC sneakers, and a black sports bra with her long, brown mane following down the length of her back. What was really catching her eyes though was the top half of her body. The black bra happily defined the C-cups the fighter had, while her belly and arms were fully exposed. A beautifully ripped 6 pack of abs showing confidently in the light, her muscle toned arms careful holding a shirt in her hands, her chin pointed downward displaying the shear masterpiece of her jawline. **_‘Holy shit.’_** Clarke had seen Lexa in her gear many times before and even up close once, but this was different. The setting was domestic and casual, making it so that she wasn’t looking at Lexa ‘The Commander’ Woods, but Lexa the woman, the goofy nerd whom had become a new friend to her and her son. But in this moment, in this very moment she saw Lexa, the unbelievably fit and hot brunette with intense forest green eyes that looked right into your soul.

Clarke’s breath hitched in her throat as those very same eyes looked up from the shirt in her hands and stared directly into her own, small brown curls slightly covering one side. Her eyes were filled with affection as she took in the blonde in across from her. Clarke felt her heart rate speeding up when Lexa followed the look with a bright and beautiful smile. **_‘Damn that killer smile.’_** Clarke thought as she tried to slow her breathing and her senses. It had dawned on her in that moment that her underwear felt a little damp and she felt her cheeks warm up from the realization. **_‘Oh my god, am I really getting wet from just looking at her? Dammit, this friend’s only thing is gonna be the death of me.’_** She was pulled out of her head when a familiar, if not slightly husky voice spoke to her. **_‘Maybe that last part is in my imagination.’_**

_“Hey there Mama bear.”_ Lexa said with a huge grin.

_“H-hey Lex.”_ Clarke answered with a shy smile. _“S-so what’s the issue here?”_ She asked as she finally stepped into the room and approached the half-dressed brunette.

_“For some reason I’m having trouble getting this tank on. I took the sling off but the cast keeps getting caught on the shirt. Despite my movements in the ring, I have to admit I’m pretty uncoordinated in the real world. But shhh, don’t tell anyone.”_ Lexa giggled.  

Clarke chuckled in response. _“Your secrets’ safe with me Commander. Come here, let me help you.”_

Lexa turned to face Clarke, then passed the shirt to her. Clarke rolled the shirt in her hands then tip-toed and placed it over the taller woman’s head. She stretched out the right side of the shirt, making a clear display of the arm hole.

_“C’mon right arm first.”_

Lexa nodded then put her right arm inside.

_“Now the hard part. How far are you able to elevate your arm before it starts to hurt?”_ Clarke asked.

Lexa shrugged. _“Pretty far I guess. I can take the pain though, it’s the caught strings that are bothering me.”_

_“Okay.”_ Clarke nodded.

She folded the left side of the shirt in same way as the right.

_“Okay, now lift your left arm as much as you can tolerate.”_

Lexa nodded and complied with the request.

Clarke careful put Lexa’s left arm through the hole with ease, and even manage to lightly graze the unbelievably toned biceps of the fighters’ arms. The touch causing another reaction from Clarke’s body. **_‘Dear lord, stop it!’_** She scolded at herself. She pulled the black muscle tank down till it covered the rest of her body, her knuckles slightly touching the abs underneath as it descended.

Lexa smoothed it over with her right arm then looked at Clarke with a smile. _“Thank you. I really appreciate your help, Clarke.”_

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of her name leaving Lexa’s lips. _“Anytime Lex, happy to assist.”_ She smiled as well. _“You need me to help you with your sling?”_

_“Nahh, I can take care of that, thanks.”_

_“Alright. Aden’s waiting in the car, do you have anything you want me to bring?”_

_“Yeah actually. My duffle bag in the front has some stuff in it. Can you put it in your trunk?”_

Clarke nodded. _“Of course. I’ll even bring out Titus to sit with Aden in the car.”_

_“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you outside.”_

Clarke nodded then turned around and left the room. Before she started on her task she pressed her back against the wall beside the doorway, shutting her eyes and put her hand over her chest. She could feel her heart beat racing at rapid speeds. In all her life she’s never met anyone that evoked so much of a response from her body. Clarke was pretty sure at this point more than ever, that if Lexa were to say anything to her in a remotely seductive tone, she’d cum on the spot. Something she wasn’t sure would be embarrassing or impressive. **_‘No. She’s your friend. You shouldn’t look at her that way.’_** She lectured herself mentally. **_‘She is your friend. Nothing more, nothing less. So stop.’_** She slowly inhaled then exhaled before she felt a wet nose tapping her hand. She opened her eyes to see the giant puppy that is Titus looking at her with concern. She smiled then pet his head in reassurance.

_“You ready for a ride in the car?”_ She asked excitably.

_“Woof!”_ Titus responded.

Clarke chuckled then made her way to the front door. She grabbed Titus’ walking equipment then quickly put it on him. Once he was all set, she grabbed the duffle bag Lexa had mentioned and headed to the car. Aden opened the door when he looked up and saw his mother approaching.

_“Titus! Who’s a good boy!?”_ Aden said joyfully.

_“Woof woof!”_

_“That’s right! It’s you!”_ Aden giggled as the huge Rottie jumped into the car in the seat beside him and started licking his face.

Clarke chuckled at the scene in front of her. **_‘This is too cute and priceless. Maybe I should get him a dog, or maybe just let him come here more often. We’ll see.’_** She clicked her keys to pop open the trunk then made her way to it. She placed the bag inside then closed it before heading to the drivers’ seat. She opened the door then took her seat before closing it. She looked in the mirror to see Titus sitting in the middle seat next to Aden comfortably while Aden scratched his fluffy ears. She heard the shutting of a door which made her turn to look outside the passenger seat window to see Lexa leaving the house and heading towards the car. Lexa opened the door then took her seat.

Lexa immediately turned her head to the back of the car and looked at a smiling Aden with an equally smiling 100lb Rottie. _“Wassup little man!”_

_“Wassup Commander!”_ Aden responded.

_“You excited to go on our hike?”_

_“Heck yeah, I can’t wait.”_

_“Good. Me and your mother talked about it and think we should put you in charge of walking Titus over here. Can you handle that?”_

_“I’ll protect him with my life.”_ Aden saluted to Lexa.

Lexa chuckled at the gesture then returned it. _“I believe in your ability. Don’t let me down, ya hear?”_

Aden nodded enthusiastically.

Clarke was watching through mirror and giggled to herself at the exchange. _“Okay, let’s get this journey started.”_

_“Yeahh!!”_ Aden responded.

Lexa looked at Clarke and nodded, then with that she pulled out of the parking spot and headed towards their destination.

***

Mother nature blessed them with one of the most beautiful days of the spring. The sun was beaming brightly above them with barely a cloud in the sky. The warm 80-degree weather blanketed their skin, as the cool breeze kept them from being overheated. Clarke loved days like this. It was one of the things that drew her to moving to California, only second behind the fact that it was the biggest art state in the country. It was a land of opportunity for sure, and she’ll remain forever grateful to it.

Clarke, Lexa, Aden, and Titus had walked for about an hour and a half before they reached one of the clearings of the Santa Monica Mountains. They stood together, reveling at the view in front of them. They could see all of the city of LA; the tall buildings, busy streets filled with people with way too much time on their hands, the blue sky that made it difficult to distinguish when the sky ended and ocean began. It was breathtaking by any and all means, but to Clarke it was like the perfect still life. One she committed to memory in hopes of rebirthing it onto a canvas someday. But for now, standing here together in good company was just as satisfying.

They found an area with a few table benches around the clearing and decided to set up shop there. Lexa had brought a sheet with her, which they used to cover the table. Clarke went to work at that task while Lexa pulled out a food and water bowl for Titus, set it all up on the ground near them and filled both. Meanwhile, Aden had assisted Clarke in laying out the containers of food on the table. Their lunch wasn’t anything extravagant in Clarke’s opinion, just a couple of BLT’s, fries, chips and drinks, but of course Lexa couldn’t resist over complimenting Clarke’s handy work which made her laugh and smile in ways no one else ever could. **_‘No one else? Really, is that true? I have no idea.’_** She thought to herself as she watched Lexa and Aden making funny faces at each other and talking nonsense at the table.

_“Team Cap will always be the best.”_ Aden said.

_“Nahh uhh little man.”_ Lexa responded. _“My boy Tony is the true leader. Team Ironman got it all in the bag.”_

_“Without that suit he’s nothin.”_

_“Yeah, but without that injection Steve Rogers would be nothing either.”_

_“Can we just agree to disagree?”_ Clarke interjected.

_“No!”_ They both said in unison and everyone laughed.

After eating and cleaning up, they all decided to play ultimate Frisbee with Titus, his favorite game according to Lexa. Lexa teamed up with Clarke while Aden was with Titus. For an hour they passed it around, back and forth, each team trying to get to their respective goals and win the game. Clarke thought it would be a little difficult for Lexa, considering her arm injury, but she never faltered. The woman was fast and agile on her feet, though she was only using one arm she always managed to catch the throws Clarke aimed her way, and there were a few times where Lexa was extra playful with Aden. At one point she’d went behind him as he was preparing to throw the Frisbee to Titus and as soon as he threw it, she’d snatch him up from his waist and hoist him in the air with her one arm, showing an excellent feat of strength. Clarke couldn’t fight the huge smile on her face as she watched her son laughing and smiling so brightly as the fighter trotted around with him over her shoulder, Titus barking and chasing behind them with excitement. She found the whole scene quite endearing, and hoped to keep bearing witness to things like that in the future. Aden and Titus managed to win the game overall, with a little help from the fact that Clarke and Lexa let them win, but that wasn’t something they’d admit to the boy and the dog whom were cheering over their victory.

Afterwards, they hiked towards the lower ends of the mountains till they reached the Escondido Falls. Clarke had never managed to visit here before so she was awestruck at the beautifully tall waterfall that spread into a crisp and clear lake below. The sunlight poking through the surrounding trees glistened as it reflected off raging white and blue, streaming down with all its power and glory. She imagined how it would feel to paint such a sight. The mixing of the different colors, the ripples created by the running water, bits of life you could see thriving underneath. She made it a mission to make this come to fruition one day.

_“I always love coming here.”_ Lexa said as she and Clarke sat against a large tree while Aden played in the water with Titus a few feet away.

Clarke turned her attention away from her son to look at the brunette beside her. _“You visit here often huh?”_

Lexa nodded. _“Yeah. It’s actually one of the places Gustus takes us to train. He says that the peaceful atmosphere helps us center our minds and focus.”_

_“I could believe that. This is like a little slice of paradise if I do say so myself.”_

_“Couldn’t agree more.”_ Lexa turned to face Clarke and smiled, making her do the same. _“Thank you for coming with me today. I really appreciated the company.”_

Clarke nodded. _“Of course. The pleasure is all ours. Honestly I’ve never seen Aden having so much fun in a setting that wasn’t in front of a TV.”_ Clarke giggled.

Lexa did the same. _“Kids today really need to get out more. Me, Luna, and Anya always enjoyed ourselves the most when we were outside causing mischief somewhere.”_

_“I can only imagine. After some of the stories you guys shared at the BBQ the other day, I’m surprised you guys haven’t gotten each other killed yet.”_

_“Give it time.”_ Both women laughed, then turned back to watching as Aden was tackled into the water by Titus.

The mentioning of the Anya and the BBQ sparked a thought in Clarke’s mind. She wondered if Lexa had known about the news Raven shared with her yesterday. **_‘Should I bring it up? What if she doesn’t know and I blow up her friend’s spot? Would she be angry about it?’_**

_“So I was wondering…”_ Clarke turned her head to look at Lexa as she cleared her throat. _“…did Raven happen to talk to you about something that happened between her and Anya the other day?”_

Clarke was slightly shocked. **_‘Does she have Jedi mind tricks or something?’_** She fiddled with her fingers. _“You mean about her and Anya sleeping together? Yeah, she gladly shared that information with us.”_

_“Does that bother you at all?”_

_“Why would it bother me?”_

Clarke watched as Lexa seemingly mulled over the question. _“I guess; I’m wondering if knowing that makes you in any way uncomfortable?”_

_“Not really. I mean yeah, I’ll admit I was hella shocked when she told me and O, but they’re grown women. They can sleep with whomever they please.”_

Lexa nodded.

_“Does it bother you at all?”_

Lexa shook her head. _“Nahh, I just didn’t know if you’d approve of that at all. I mean I was shocked to find out Raven was into women. And I realized I never discussed my or my friend’s sexualities with you, so I wasn’t sure if you wanted that element around your son.”_

Clarke chuckled. _“Awee, well it’s sweet of you to be concerned, but you have nothing to worry about. I already knew you were gay from a couple of magazine interviews you had in the past, and from the looks of Anya I kinda assumed the same. Plus, being bisexual myself, who the hell am I to be judging on who people get in bed with?”_

 Lexa quickly wiped her head around to look at Clarke with a shock ridden face. _“You’re bisexual??”_

_“You seem shocked by that.”_

_“A little, yeah.”_

_“How come?”_

Lexa scratched the back of her head as she searched her mind for the words. _“Well you’re not exactly the type of girl people would guess was anything but straight.”_

_“Oh, is there a haircut all bisexuals are supposed to be sporting that I’m not aware of?”_ Clarke teased.

_“U-uh, no. It’s just y-you’re so…”_ Lexa swallowed hard. _“…you’re just so…”_

Clarke tilted her head slightly and raised a questioning brow. _“I’m so…what?”_

_“…so beautiful.”_ Lexa finally said.

Clarke’s eyes widened at the compliment. **_‘She thinks I’m beautiful?’_** She felt the heat rising in her cheeks, and perhaps in other places as she replayed the words in her head. _“You think I’m beautiful?”_

Lexa turned away shyly and nodded. _“Of course. I mean, not that all bisexuals aren’t beautiful, but I don’t know. You have this unique beauty to you. And you look like the kinda straight girl most lesbians would pine after in the movies.”_

Clarke giggled as she watched the fighter complimenting her with shy words and reddened cheeks and ears. **_‘Who knew she could be so bashful.’_** She thought to herself. _“Well I appreciate the praise from you. You’re rather stunning yourself.”_ Clarke hadn’t meant to say that last part aloud, but it was already out there.

Lexa looked back at her, a small smile forming on her lips. _“T-thank you.”_

As their eyes met, neither woman could help staring into the others’. The playful sounds of the Aden and Titus faded into the background, with only nature’s orchestra performing around them. The light cutting through the trees bounced off of Lexa’s tanned skin, making it shine, bringing out the definition of her face and the tone. Clarke felt swallowed by the green of her eyes, feeling the burn of admiration they signaled out, and couldn’t help but to notice how they had begun to slightly dilate in the center. A small sense of hunger fighting its way through the crowded space of unspoken words. An ache built in her stomach as the green of Lexa’s eyes turned more black with each passing second. Clarke’s heart pounded in her ears as she fought the need to reach out and touch the woman in front of her. The woman whom she’d done her best to ignore her attraction to, and yet it became harder with every moment they were in each other’s’ company. But she knew she couldn’t have this woman. And knowing that only made the attraction that much more intense.

Their moment was broken when a large black figure crashed into Lexa. Clarke shook her head as she refocused on the reality at hand. She giggled when she saw the black figure was non-other than Titus, now licking the skin off of Lexa’s face. Aden came running towards them and plopped himself next to his mother, laughing as well.

_“Ahh, Titus. Down boy, down!”_ Lexa pleaded as the Rottie continued his string of affection.

_“Looks like he’s ready for you to play with them too.”_ Clarke said as she kept giggling.

_“In a few big guy! Give me a break.”_

Titus finally stopped his assault but whined.

_“C’mon Titus! I’ll race you back!”_ Aden said excitably.

_“Bark!”_ Titus agreed and the two returned to the lake.

_“Well that was pretty entertaining. You okay?”_ Clarke asked.

Lexa rested against the tree again, but rubbed at her injured arm. _“Y-yeah. He hit me kinda hard though, shoulder’s feeling sore.”_

_“You want me to massage it a bit for you?”_ The question slipped out of Clarke’s mouth before she could really think it through.

_“Would you mind?”_

Clarke nodded. _“Y-yeah. Just get yaself in a comfortable position and I’ll rubbed it a little. Maybe the soreness will lessen.”_

Lexa nodded then rose to her feet. She walked over towards Clarke, turned so her back was facing her then sat down in front, between her legs. She scooched herself backwards slightly, leaving only the smallest amount of space in between them. She then proceeded to tuck her long brunette mane to the right side as she pulled the strap of her left shoulder down enough for Clarke to have easy access.

Clarke swallowed hard the entire time she watched Lexa’s movements. It was as if she’d never seen anything so majestic in her life. Lexa was making the simplest of actions seem like the sexiest things in the world, which both aroused and confused the blonde even further. _“Y-you, you ready?”_ Clarke asked.

Lexa looked over her shoulder at her and nodded.

Clarke nodded in response then moved a little closer to Lexa. She carefully and gently kneaded her fingers against Lexa’s exposed shoulder. She was quite frankly surprised by the softness of the muscular figure. Lexa’s skin melted like cream with every movement of Clarke’s fingers. She never pushed down too hard, scared to cause the brunette any pain, but she could see Lexa’s eyes had closed and breathing was steady, so she assumed she was doing okay. She felt tension spike in her own body as she breathed in the scent of Lexa’s apple shampoo mixed with the smell of nature and the water around them. Her own breathing quickening with each second, heat curling through her stomach once again. **_‘Fuck…’_** She thought to herself as she bit her bottom lip, closed her eyes and relished in this still. The moment was calm, peaceful even, a piece of life she’d greedily wanted to hold onto.

However, Clarke’s trance was interrupted when she felt a soft hand cover over her own, gesturing for her to stop. Clarke’s breath hitched in her throat as she opened her eyes and looked at Lexa whom had been staring at her. The growing black of her eyes returning once again. Lexa nodded, letting Clarke know without words that she was alright now. Clarke nodded back then removed her hands once Lexa lifted her own off of hers.

_“It’ll be dark soon.”_ Clarke commented. _“Think it’s time we started heading back?”_

Lexa nodded. _“mmhmm.”_

They both stood up from their spots, brushing the dirt off of their selves.

_“Thank you.”_ Lexa spoke. _“For the massage.”_

_“Did it help at all?”_

_“Yes ma’am. Shoulder feels good as new. You’ve got the magic touch there, Picasso. Maybe you should’ve been a doc like your mom.”_ Lexa teased.

Clarke tsked at her. _“Puuulease, never gonna happen. Painting brings me too much joy.”_

_“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”_ Lexa smiled.

Clarke smiled back.

_“C’mon, let’s blow this joint.”_

Clarke nodded and together they made their way towards the playful boy and dog.

***  

Clarke stared at the ceiling as she lay under the covers of her bed. It had grown quite late, but she couldn’t sleep. Her mind was going over all the events of that day. The hiking on the mountain; how Lexa reached out her hand to help Clarke tread over some of the more difficult slops. Having lunch together at the rest stop; watching how her son and Lexa joked about the latest Marvel movies they watched. Playing ultimate Frisbee; how much joy she felt watching Lexa horse around with her son and Titus without a care in the world. Being by the waterfall; recalling all the alone time she spent with Lexa as they got to know each other a little more under the tree. The ride back home; how Lexa helped Clarke carry a sleeping Aden into his bed and hugged her goodnight before taking off with Titus back to her own home.

The entire day felt like a dream. She’d never pictured her future with anything more than just her and Aden, but after the day they had, Clarke was starting to wonder. **_‘Is it really possible…could there be something there with Lexa?’_** Clarke was noticing it more than ever now since speaking aloud with Raven and O, that her attraction to Lexa had been quite evident. But after today, it began to dawn on her… ** _’Am I seriously crushing this hard on Lexa...no, crushing isn’t the right word.’_** It certainly wasn’t, but she couldn’t figure out what else to call it. Lexa not only evoked emotional responses out of Clarke and made her trust her enough with Aden, but since the fight with Monroe, Clarke started to get these intense physical responses to the fighter as well.

Since that moment that Lexa embraced her so publicly, she’d felt a flame building in the pit of her stomach. One that only seemed to grow with each day they spent together, every little moment and conversation they had. The need to touch her was something that was becoming harder for her to control. She always insisted how innocent they were to Raven and O, but if she was truly honest with herself, each touch grew bolder with time. Subconsciously she’d place a hand on Lexa’s shoulder, hand, leg; the movement pulling higher or each squeeze getting harder with every interaction. But all paled in comparison to biggest telltale sign. That being the fact that now Clarke was becoming aroused by every moment spent with the fighter in question. Clarke wasn’t someone whom was ever concerned about sex. She’d had partners over the years, but there was something about Lexa. Something that made her call for those strong hands of the brunette to find themselves on her.

Clarke’s breath hitched in her throat as she imagined what it would feel like, Lexa’s touch. Would her hands be as strong and forceful as they were with her opponents or would they be attentive and gentle, like her personality was with her and her son? The wandering thoughts in her mind caused her body to boil from the inside, the wetness seeping between her legs. Clarke bit her bottom lip as she imagined what it would be like to kiss Lexa. Those pouty, pink lips softly caressing her own, sending chills down her spine in ways she never felt with others before. Clarke’s eyes began to flutter closed as she brought up her left arm to slowly graze her neck, picturing the sleek gentle trail of Lexa’s tongue down her neck. The very thought causing her to gasp and buck her hips upward. Her right hand began to playfully circle her stomach, thinking of it as Lexa’s doing so. Then her left hand came down and went under her night shirt, cupping her left breast in her hand.

_“Ahh…”_ she silently vocalized as she palmed her breast in her hand then took her hardened nipple in between her fingers, playing with it as she imagined Lexa’s mouth would. Her right hand slowly descended past the waistband of her night shorts and rim of her underwear until it reached the warm wetness underneath the fabrics. _“F-fuck…”_ she started to slowly circle her middle finger around her clit, the bud revealing itself more and more from its hood with each motion. After a few minutes she brought her finger downward to play with the entrance of her cunt. Her finger becoming coated more with her arousal. “oh my god…” she slowly dipped her finger inside, going as far as she could. She pumped it in and out of herself at a steady pace before adding another.

_“Ahh…shit.”_ Her mind was filled with thought of it not being her hand, but Lexa’s that was pleasuring her. Those unimaginably long, strong fingers that could break a person in half, driving into her body like a freight train. Causing her to scream out in ecstasy with each forceful pound. _“L-Lexaaa…don’t stop.”_ She moaned as she started to increase the intensity of her actions. Her hips grinding along her fingers, her left hand continuing to play with her breasts. She shut her eyes and saw black lustful ones with green trimming staring back at her. The hunger from within them biting into her very soul, causing more arousal to pour from her cunt. _“Shit...”_ Strong muscular arms wrap around her waist, holding her steady as she her body moved with purpose. _“…ahhh…”_ A long, slick tongue drawing circles around her hardened nipples. _“...oh my…”_ Fingers, such skilled fingers pumping in rapid motions in and out, in and out, in and out, tearing her body apart from the inside. _“…god…I’m gonna…Lex…I’m gonna….”_ **_‘Cum for me, Clarke.’_** Clarke silently screamed Lexa’s name as she squeezed her eyes even more shut; feeling her inner walls clamp tightly around her fingers. Cum pooling from inside her body down the length of her hand like a running river; body covered in sweat; her breath hard and labored as her mind floated through the air around her.

After a few moments, her high finally started to come down. She removed her cum coated fingers from inside her shorts, rubbing them against the fabric till they were clean. She moved her other hand from her breasts and pulled her shirt back down. She rested her right hand on her lower belly, as the other splayed beside her head. She opened her heavy eyes to look up at the ceiling above, then ran her left hand through her blonde locks. **_‘Holy shit…did I just touch myself to completion over the thought of Lexa?’_** She really didn’t need the ask the question, the evidence was all there, but her mind was overwhelmed with confusion. She just masturbated to thought of the woman whom she is supposed keep as her friend. **_‘How am I ever gonna look her in the eye after this?’_** _“Fuck.”_ Clarke covered her eyes with her hand as she mentally scolded herself for letting things get here. After a few moments of silence, she finally drifted off to sleep, hoping that those sinful thoughts she had of Lexa had invaded her mind enough and would leave her alone for the night…but they didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, I totally threw some sin at you mofos lol now this was my first time ever writing a scene like that before, was it okay? Believable? Did it make you want more? That aside, what did you think of the chapter? Is Clarke getting in too deep now to keep things ‘friendly’ with Lexa? Do you think Lexa is having the fame conflicts with herself? Share with me your thoughts, and love in the comments.


	7. “Why You Gotta Make Things So Complicated?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa’s POV. It’s been a month since that day on the trail. Clarke has been noticeably distant ever since, and it only seems to have gotten worse in recent days. Lexa is struggling to figure out where she went wrong. **Bout to get a little angsty on you bitches. But fluff always finds a way in here. =P lol enjoy.

Chapter 7: “Why You Gotta Make Things So Complicated?”

**_‘You’re such a FUCK UP!’_ **

The empty training room is silent, aside from the constant rattling of the chains from the punching bag Lexa has decided to let her frustrations out on.

**_‘How could you fucking say that to her!?’_ **

She screams at herself in her head as she lets out wave after wave of fists into the large black bag.

**_‘She’s been nothing but kind to you, you should have shown her the same respect.’_ **

Left, left, right, right, left. The force is great behind each strike.

**_‘She welcomed you into her son’s life.’_ **

Right, left, right, right. The chains continue to rattle.

**_‘She let you into her home.’_ **

Uppercut, left, left, left. That last one sent a sting of pain through her body, but she chooses to ignore it.

**_‘She’s even cooked for you on a number of occasions, not to mention that one time she let you sleep over on the couch when you passed out watching movies with Aden.’_ **

Left hook, right, right, left body blow, right middle kick. Her moves are starting to get a little more chaotic as her inner mind continues to scold her. She shifts side to side, using her footwork to pound on the bag at different angles.

**_‘She’s supposed to be your friend.’_ **

Right hook, left knee. She shifts to the right. Left hook, right elbow.

**_‘She’s obviously been struggling with something the past few weeks.’_ **

Right elbow, right knee. She ducks to the left then throws a left body blow.

**_‘You’re supposed to be understanding, and comforting.’_ **

Left middle kick, right body blow, left uppercut. Her breathing becomes heavy; rage stewing in her chest.

**_‘But nooo, Lexa Woods, just had to pry and make one of the nicest people she knows pissed off with her.’_ **

Right uppercut, left knee, left low kick, right, right, left hook. Sweat trails down her head and shoulders as her movements quicken with a harder force. The increasing pain ignored.

**_‘You stupid fuck.’_ **

Right, left, left. She is focused; anger following behind every contact.

**_‘You stupid fuck.’_ **

Left, left, right. She pivots to the right. Left hook. The pain in her left hand becoming more apparent, but still pushed to the back of her mind.

**_‘You STUPID motherfucker!’_ **

Left jab, right hook, left hook, right hook, left hook, Right high kick. More anger, more rage, more frustration. It’s in her, it’s with her. It IS her.

**_‘YOU PIECE OF SHIT! YOU’LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!’_** The voice in her head this time is not her own, but a familiar one from the past. Pain no longer just physical. The venomous words break through the skin of her spirit like it used to.

With all her rage and might, Lexa throws a left superman punch into the punching bag.

_“AHHH!!!”_ *crack*

The shire force of the impact sends an unbelievable wave of pain surging through her left arm, all the way into the rest of her body. The pain is too unbearable, causing her to tear up a little, so she decides it’s too much to continue. She uses her right hand to smooth over her now throbbing left hand, opening and closing her fingers, staring at it as if she’s afraid it will look back at her with disappointment. She assumes from the crack she felt she might have re-fractured the hand. **_‘Just what I fucking need. Gustus and Dr. Kane are gonna kill me.’_** It’s been awhile since she’s endured a major injury like this, so she’s not used to not being able to push her body past it’s known limits. **_‘Fuck you Monroe.’_**

She takes a deep sigh as she walks away from the punching bag, that now has more than a few damaged holes in it than it did when she began. **_‘I should make time to replace this, Gustus hates having worn equipment.’_** She makes a mental note to go onto Amazon at some point and getting one that she knows will put a huge smile on the brolly man-bear’s face. She removes her gloves, gently when she gets to the left hand, then tosses them in the nearest hamper. She approaches the bench not far from the punching bag area of the gym, grabbing the Avengers water bottle Aden got for her a week ago. She takes a long swig, wipes her mouth of any escaping drops, then plops herself on the bench. She rests her head against the back wall, closes her eyes and sighs heavily one more time as she tries to calm the adrenaline coursing through her body.

The pain from her hand continues to poke at her. It didn’t hurt as much as it did when she originally got it checked, but it still felt like a bitch. She sighs then leans over to her duffle bag to retrieve some solvent and bandages. She was never a fan of dressing her wounds by herself, Anya always commented on how she’d die by bleeding to death if no one else was around to help her with a cut on her arm. **_‘Fuck you Anya.’_** She mentally argues. She does her best to gently rub the ointment on her left hand. When it looks alright enough, she wraps the bandages on it as best she can. Meaning, it looked like a 5 year-old broke in and wrapped toilet tissue around it. Not her best work.

She places the items back into her bag then grabs the water bottle and takes another long swig. She slumps her hand in her lap, bottle still clasped between her fingers. She takes a long sigh again then leans her head back against the wall, looking up through the skyline of the gym. The sky is littered in darkness and stars, but the moon is in full form. The rays beaming through the mostly darkened gym, shining a sense of peace in an otherwise gloomy place.

Lexa loved coming to the gym after hours when no one was around. Gustus gave spare keys to all his trusted fighters, so Lexa was proud to have a place she could go when she just needed to let off some steam. And boy, did she have plenty of steam to release tonight. She sighed again before closing her eyes. **_‘Where did I go wrong….?’_**

***Earlier that day***

_“Alright Lexa, you’re all set here.”_

Today Lexa was finally able to have the cast on her left arm removed. Her physician, Dr. Marcus Kane, had just finished cutting it off.

Lexa sighed in relief. _“Oh my god, finally.”_ It felt like it had been forever since she could move it around. _“I swear if I had to wear this damn thing any longer I was gonna cut it off myself doc.”_

Marcus chuckled. _“I understand. No worries though Lexa. All your results came back superb. Your body is very resilient considering your hand was fractured and arm was close to a break. You should be proud you got out of that hold when you did.”_

_“Well you know how it is Kane. Gotta keep showing my fans how truly badass I am.”_ Lexa smirked, lifting her chin in the air, oozing with confidence.

Marcus shook his head with a smile. _“I couldn’t agree more. Just try to be careful over the next few days. No intensive training for a least a week. Got it?”_

Lexa nodded. _“Yes sir.”_

Marcus looked at her suspiciously and crossed his arms over his chest. _“Lexa…I mean it. I don’t want to see you back in here until after your next victory.”_ He spoke sternly.

Lexa giggled. _“Yes sir. I promise.”_ She raises a hand in a swearing gesture. _“No intensive training for a week. But after that, all bets are off.”_

Marcus shook his head again and giggled. He had been Lexa’s aid since she started her career, so he knew the chances of her keeping that promise was slim to none. But he took it anyway and nodded his approval to her. _“Alright then, get outta here kid.”_

Lexa nodded back. _“See ya on the flip side doc. Make sure you come see my next bout.”_

_“I will if I can. You fighters keep me busy with all your ass kicking and what not.”_

Both laughed.

_“Yeah, we’re the best aren’t we?”_ Lexa gave him one last smirk before hopping off the exam table. She grabbed her things, and waved at Marcus as she exited the room. When she returned to the waiting room, she scanned it until she spotted those familiar blonde locks.

Clarke was sitting in the chair sound asleep. Her arm resting on the side of the chair, while she had her chin on top of it, keeping her head slightly elevated. Lexa smiled as she watched as a small curl of yellow was slowly falling down the side of her face. She was breathing steadily, silently. Her long lashes now more apparent than ever before. Her pink lips slightly parted as she inhaled and exhaled. Her nose twitching almost stealthily as she dreamed away. **_‘Damn. How is she so fucking beautiful even when she’s sleeping? What I would give just to...Shit, in another life, I would totally…’_**

Her thoughts are interrupted as the sleeping woman started to stir awake. Clarke opened one eye and looked up. _“mmmm, L-Lexa…?”_ She asked somehow confusingly.

**_‘Just…beautiful…’_** she cleared her throat and spoke, _“Hey there sleeping beauty. Did you have a nice nap time?”_ Lexa teased.

Clarke groaned before putting up the middle finger towards Lexa with an irritated look on her face. _“Fuck off.”_

Lexa was a bit shocked at the usually kind mother of one using foal language in a public place. They did get up pretty early to get here so Lexa figured that was the reason behind it. **_‘Guess she’s not a morning person.’_** She chuckled. _“Now, now. This is a family place. No need to be so aggressive. I’m into kinky shit, but only behind closed doors.”_ Lexa continued to tease, following it up with wiggling brows and an exaggerated wink.

Clarke huffed, then grabbed a pillow off the sofa beside her and threw it at the fighter. Lexa caught it of course, but she feigned hurt by placing a hand over her chest. Her left hand in fact. It was in this moment that Clarke realized Lexa had her arm cast finally removed. Clarke rubbed the last of the sleepiness out of her eyes. She stood up and walked towards Lexa. She grasped the now bandage free hand and looked it over. Lexa gasped at the contact. **_‘Be cool Lex. Be cool.’_** Clarke may not have been a full fledged doctor, but she learned a lot from her mother, so she knew what to look for in certain injuries, such as fractured hands.

She scanned Lexa’s hand one last time before nodding in approval. Lexa’s heart was beating so hard through the entire exchange, that she was sure it was moments from bursting out of her chest.

_“It looks like it healed really well.”_ Clarke said. _“Is the pain any better?”_ Clarke locked eyes with Lexa as she asked the question.

Lexa felt her face warming up at the sudden closeness and look of concern echoing from Clarke’s stare. _“U-uh yeahh.”_ She cleared her throat. _“Feels like brand new actually. Dr. Kane is the best. Never lets me go into fights or training without being in tip top shape.”_

Clarke gave a small smile. _“Good to know. I’d beat him up myself if he didn’t take care of you properly.”_

**_‘I would like it even more if you took care of me properly...’_** Lexa shook her head at the thought. _“Y-yeah?”_ She chuckled. _“I’ll be sure to warn him about that so he never gives me less than 110%.”_

Clarke chuckled. _“Sounds good to me. You ready to head out?”_

_“Yeah, hate being here any longer than I have to.”_

Both women started to walk out of the clinic when an idea popped up in Lexa’s head. _“S-so um…”_

_“Hmm?”_ Clarke turned her attention to Lexa.

_“A-are you busy today? Is there anywhere you need to be after this?”_

_“No, not really. Aden is with my mom today, won’t be back till late, and I wanted to go back to my studio at some point but not until later on. What’s up?”_

Lexa silently gulped. _“Are you hungry? Would you like to grab a bite to eat or something with me?”_ Lexa was sure her face was burning red, as the pace of her heart quickened.

Clarke smiled. _“Y-yeah. That sounds fine by me. Anywhere you wanna go in particular?”_

_“Fancy yaself some Thai food?”_

_“I could definitely go for that.”_

_“Awesome!”_ She said louder than she meant to. _“Let’s go.”_

They got into Clarke’s car. Lexa Googled the nearest Thai place and they rode off. The drive was mostly silent. Something that has become a regular thing as of late. Lexa wasn’t really a fan of it. She loved hearing Clarke’s stories and rants. It became one of her favorite things. **_‘I miss her voice.’_** She sighed then proceeded to look out the window. Definitely not shooting glances in Clarke’s direction every now and then, as the 25min ride of silence continued.

When they arrived Clarke snagged an excellent parking spot across the street from the place then they made their way inside, barely any words spoken between them. The hostess seated them in a booth by the window and they looked through their menus. Clarke ordered something sweet, while Lexa tried her hand at something spicy. They exchanged everyday conversation, waiting for their food to arrive. Lexa managed to get Clarke to giggle a bit, but she knew something was off. **_‘Something is bothering her.’_** Before she got the chance to ask, the food was served to them. Clarke and Lexa ate, silence being their ever routine third wheel. Sometimes Lexa would steal a bite of Clarke’s food, making her gasp, scrunching her nose and furrowing her brows in annoyance. **_‘Heh, it’s so cute when she does that.’_** Lexa just smiles as she plunges the food into her mouth. Clarke’s face remaining that way for awhile until it eventually formed into a small smile with a shake of her head, just the way Lexa liked it.

When they finished, a new waitress came over.

_“All done here?”_ the woman with the tag name, Lola, asks.

_“Yup, yup. I’m stuffed.”_ Lexa answers with a childish grin. She looks to Clarke. _“How bout you slow poke?”_ Lexa asks as she points toward Clarke’s halfway finished meal.

Clarke scrunches her nose again and furrows her brows. _“You making fun of me?”_

_“No, not at all mamabear.”_ Lexa replies slyly.

Clarke takes a piece of chicken off her plate and throws it at Lexa. It hits her forehead and all three women laugh as Lexa wipes off the remains. _“That’s what you get.”_ She says to Lexa before turning her attention to the waitress. _“Yes, I’m done as well. Can we get the check please?”_

_“Coming right up.”_ Lola replies, then turns to Lexa with adoring eyes. _“You sure I can’t get you anything else…Commander?”_

Lexa’s eyes widen. **_‘Oh, shit.’_** Lexa studies Lola until she recognizes her piecing brown eyes and seductive smile. **_‘Shit, fuck.’_** Lexa clears her throat. _“N-no. I’m all good here.”_

Lola cocks an eyebrow then smirks. _“That’s too bad. We have your favorite. Maybe next time?”_

_“Check, please.”_ Clarke says venomously as she eyes the intrusive waitress. Frustration pooling from her stare.

Lola turns to Clarke and nods, glances at Lexa, then turns around and walks away with their dishes in hand.

Lexa gulps as she watches the woman walk away. A sudden chill creeping down her back as an unfamiliar nervousness takes over her body. She turns to look at Clarke who looks at her expectantly, a hint of frustration in her eyes. **_‘Oh, boy.’_**

_“So…”_ Clarke says. _“…friend of yours?”_

Lexa opens her mouth to speak but no words come through her drying throat. She clears her throat then speaks, _“Friend? Nahh, not a friend.”_

Clarke cocks a brow. _“She seems to know you well enough to flirt with you so unapologetically.”_

_“W-well that’s…”_ Lexa tries to figure out the best way to say next words. _“…we ‘hung out’ a few times a few years ago.”_

_“Hung out huh?”_ Clarke asks. _“Hung out how?”_ the blonde crosses her arms across her chest.

**_‘Wait, is she seriously fretting me about this?’_** Lexa huffs, frustration building in her chest. _“You said you read about me in magazines didn’t you?”_ Lexa replies defensively. Arms crossed over the table as she leans closer to Clarke. “I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Clarke’s face turns to one of shock, clearly offended by Lexa’s answer. Before she’s able to retort, Lola returns with check in hand.

_“Here you go ladies.”_ Lola passes the piece of paper to Lexa. _“Hope to see you again.”_ She says seductively with a wink before leaving again.

Lexa gulps as she watches Lola leave, a little extra push of her hips as she walks away. Lexa can feel Clarke’s eyes on her. Clarke takes the receipt from Lexa’s hand and looks at it. She huffs under her breath as she reads it. Lexa turns her full attention to Clarke who looks furious for some reason.

_“Well looks like she made sure you still have her number.”_ Clarke says as she holds up the receipt for Lexa to see. Lexa notices the number written down with a printed kiss beside it.

A beat of sweat falls down the side of her face. **_‘What the fuck, why are you so nervous about this? You’re single, Clarke’s just a friend. Right? There’s no reason for you to have to explain yourself to her.’_** she reminds herself. 

“Do you want it?” Clarke asks with a hint of irritation in her voice.

A rumble stirs in Lexa’s chest at Clarke’s question. Her rebellious nature gets the better of her. _“Why not? Would be rude of me to just toss it, ya’know?”_ Lexa replies.

_“Yeah, okay. I guess it would be.”_ Clarke rolls her eyes then takes out money for her half of the check, while Lexa does the same. Clarke practically throws the paper at Lexa, who catches it then pockets it.

They leave the money on the table, minus any tip, then walk hurriedly out the door, Clarke leading the way. They approach the car, and Clarke goes to grab her keys when Lexa stops her by grabbing her bicep, halting her movements.

_“Clarke wait.”_ Lexa says softly, feeling terrible about the way she just spoke to her friend. _“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so defensive back there.”_

_“Whatever Lexa.”_ Clarke scuffs. _“Let’s just go.”_ Clarke starts to take steps forward again, but Lexa’s grasp on her keeps her planted where she is. Clarke looks over her shoulder at Lexa, a hint of anger in her eyes. _“Let. Go. Of. Me. Lexa.”_ She says with a harsh tone.

Lexa huffs in surprise. She let’s go of Clarke’s arm then speaks, _“Look somethings bothering you, I know it. The Lola thing made it worse somehow, I don’t know why, but if you don’t talk to me how are we supposed to fix it?”_

_“There’s nothing wrong, I’m fine.”_

_“No, you’re not.”_ Lexa quickly replies. _“You’ve been very distant with me for some time now. Did you think I didn’t notice?”_

Clarke looks to the ground, unable to look Lexa in the eye. _“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

Lexa cocks a brow. _“Really Clarke? This is how you wanna play this?”_

Clarke says nothing, eyes still trained to the ground below.

_“We’ve barely spoken or hung out since the day we went on the trail. Did something happen? Did I do something to upset you? Did I do something to Aden that I wasn’t aware of? Please tell me?”_

_“There’s nothing to tell.”_

_“Yes there is.”_

_“Just, drop it Lexa. There’s nothing for me to say.”_

_“You’re lying.”_ Lexa retorts. _“Just talk to me, Clarke.”_ Lexa pleaded.

_“Please Lexa, I just…just leave it alone.”_

_“No. I’m tired of this tension between us. We’re friends aren’t we?”_

Clarke nods.

_“Then you can tell me anything. Come on, just talk to me Clarke. Help me fix this, please.”_

_“There’s nothing to fix.”_

Lexa huffs in frustration. _“Seriously Clarke? You can barely look me in the eye. For awhile now actually. You’re honestly gonna stand here and tell me there’s nothing to wrong?”_

Clarke refuses to meet Lexa’s gaze.

_“C’mon Clarke, stop being so fucking stubborn.”_ Lexa slightly yells, her impatience getting the better of her.

Clarke finally looked up at her with hard eyes. _“It’s none of your damn business.”_

Lexa’s face is littered with shock, taken aback by Clarke’s response. **_‘What the actual fuck?’_** Shock quickly turns to anger. Her adrenaline starts to build throughout her body as she eyes the defiant blonde in front of her.

_“None of my damn business huh?”_ a hard tone takes over her vocals. _“Have you always been such a ROYAL BITCH under that ‘sweet mom’ persona of yours or have I just not noticed it until now?”_ Lexa regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. But it was too late, they were already out in the open.

Clarke gasped. Hurt painted across her face in an instant. Her blue eyes glazed over with pain at Lexa’s words.

Lexa quickly scrambled to take her words back. _“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”_

Lexa’s words are interrupted by the raising of Clarke’s hand. _“No, just…stop. That’s enough.”_ When Lexa remains silent, Clarke slowly descends her hand. She fought back the tears that were now brimming at her eyes. _“There’s a bus not far from here that can take you home. I’m going back to my studio. Goodbye, Lexa.”_ She says with an ache in her voice. She sighs, then takes her keys out of her bag. She gets in her car, starts it up, and drives away. Meanwhile, Lexa remains standing in the same spot, shock and confusion breaking its way into her expression. **_‘What did I just do…?’_**

***Present***

Lexa sighs heavily again then opens her eyes to look through the skyline. **_‘Why did I say that to her? I don’t even know where that came from.’_** She clenches the fingers of her left hand, wincing at the pain. **_‘I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that. I fucked up.’_** Lexa sits the bottle that was in her other hand down onto the bench, then slaps the hand onto her forehead dragging it down slowly over her face with a huff. **_‘I gotta find a way to fix this. I have to apologize to her.’_** She rests both her hands at her sides, then takes another deep breath before closing her eyes. **_‘She looked so hurt…What if she doesn’t forgive me?’_** _“Fuck…”_ Lexa speaks into the air as she leans her head back against the wall.

_“Someone looks rather deep in thought.”_

Lexa’s eyes popped open at the sound of the familiar voice, then snapped her head up to look in the direction of said voice. _“…Clarke?”_

Clarke gave her a small smile and nodded as she stood at the entrance of the gym.

Lexa looks at her with a gapping mouth and disbelief. **_‘She…she came back?’_** Shook herself out of her stupor. _“H-how, how did you know I was here?”_

_“I remembered how you told me how you’d come here whenever things got rough for you. I figured our argument was rather rough, so here I am.”_

Lexa nods in understanding.

Clarke slowly approaches Lexa. _“Mind if I join you...I brought a kind of peace offering?”_ She holds up a plastic bag in her hand.

Lexa swallowed then nodded.

Clarke sat the bag down next to Lexa’s duffle bag before taking a seat next to her on the bench. They sat silently for a while, just looking into each other’s eyes. Tension building around them as moonlight shown in every corner of the gym. Lexa tried to open her mouth to speak. She wanted to apologize to Clarke so badly, but the words… ** _’...why won’t the words come out?’_** She hated that in this moment, when she needed her strength the most, it was nowhere to be found.

Clarke finally broke the contact when she looked up at the moon and the stars above them. _“It’s so beautiful out tonight, don’t you think?”_

**_‘You’re the one that’s beautiful…’_** Lexa clears her throat. _“Y-yeah, it is.”_

Clarke closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, then exhales. She turns her gaze back to Lexa, whom is still looking at her in disbelief. _“So…I’m sorry.”_

Lexa’s eyes widened. **_‘Is…s-she apologizing…to me?’_** Lexa is so taken aback by the words that she can’t speak.

_“I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting around you. You did nothing to deserve that.”_

_“No, no.”_ Lexa interrupts. _“You are not the one who needs to apologize. I’m the one who fucked up. I said such harsh things to you.”_ She places a hand on Clarke’s. _“I honestly didn’t mean what I said.”_

Clarke gave her a small smile. _“I know you didn’t, this was all on me to be honest.”_ Clarke looks downward. _“I didn’t realize what I was doing until recently, and I’m ashamed of myself for being so distant with you.”_

_“I’m sure you had your reasons.”_

Clarke shook her head then met Lexa’s eyes again. _“No, not good ones any ways. You have been nothing but pleasant to me and my son, and I’ve treated you like you like an ass.”_ Clarke takes Lexa’s hand and squeezes it lightly. _“You are not nothing to me, Lexa. And you shouldn’t be treated like that. I’m so sorry.”_

Lexa was beyond shocked by Clarke’s confession. **_‘She…she thinks I’m not nothing to her…so does that mean I am something to her?’_** Lexa’s heart raced in her chest, pumping blood a mile a minute. Hearing those words coming from someone she cared for, coming from Clarke…it meant more to her than anything she’s ever felt before. To be someone to another person, after years of hearing she was nothing and no one, brought her a sense of joy she’s never experienced…something she never thought she’d have.

Lexa cleared her throat. _“So…you mean that I am someone to you?”_

Clarke nodded. _“Yes, yes you are. Someone important actually. That’s why it pains me to think I might have hurt you in some way, just because I’ve been so stressed out.”_ Clarke looks down again, defeat plastered on her face.

Lexa lifts her left hand, and uses her index finger and places it under Clarke’s chin. She guides Clarke’s head until it faces directly with hers. Lexa gives her a warm smile _. “Hey, don’t worry. We all have our shit. We deal with it in stupid ways, or even act out of character when it’s too much sometimes. I can totally understand that.”_ She changes the position of her hand. She gently rests it on the side of Clarke’s face, affectionately stroking the side of her face with her index finger. The action appears to soothe Clarke, as she exhales calmly, slowly closing her eyes then opening them again. Looking at Lexa with deep appreciation budding in her gaze.

The sight causes Lexa’s heart to jump, and even brings her a sense of calmness. _“I know that you might think I chill with you only ‘cause of Aden, but honestly Clarke, I think you’re are an amazing person. Your heart is so open and kind, I’ve never met anyone so humble in my life. Not to mention your unbelievably talented.”_ Clarke has a small smile growing on her face. _“Like the way I am there for Aden, I am also here for you.”_ Lexa declared. _“So when you’re feeling at your worst, you need help or a shoulder to cry on, shit if you just need someone to hear you rant, I am here. I am here for you, Clarke.”_

Tears started to well up in Clarke’s eyes as she listened to Lexa’s words. She gently placed her own hand over the one Lexa had on her face. She grasped it gently, then Lexa winced as if she was in pain. Clarke looked at her with concern, then realized that the hand on her face was bandaged up. Clarke carefully took the hand off her face then examined it in between both of her own hands.

_“What happened?”_ Clarke asked as she slowly rubbed the injured hand in between hers.

_“W-well I…”_ Lexa shook her nerves _. “…I was so pissed off after hurting you that I just started wailing on one of the punching bags. I was so lost in my emotions that I punched the bag too hard and something cracked in middle of it, I believe. My fingers still work fine, but my hand is throbbing like a bitch.”_

_“Sounds like a nondisplaced fracture.”_ Clarke exclaims. _“You’ll definitely need to go back to you doctor tomorrow.”_

_“Yeahh, I figured. He’s gonna kill me for breaking my promise.”_ Lexa huffed.

_“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll understand.”_ Clarke said reassuringly, still massaging the hand in hers. _“I have to tell you though; this is not the best bandaging job.”_

_“Yeahh, it’s not really something I excel at.”_ Lexa chuckled.

Clarke did the same. _“I understand.”_ Clarke gave her a genuine smile, for the first time in a while. _“Here, let me change that for you.”_

Lexa swallows hard, then nods. _“O-okay. The supplies are in my duffle bag.”_

Clarke nods, then reaches for the bag and rummages through it till she finds what she’s looking for. She sits the solvent and bandages on the bench then starts to peel of the ones on Lexa’s hand. Once they are removed she gently massages the hand again, making Lexa’s face warm up even further. **_‘Dear lord, that feels amazing.’_** She tries to keep her breathing calm, but it proves to be a challenge with this gorgeous blonde woman using her very soft, and skilled hands to rub her own rough, callus ones. The touch is relaxing, and slightly intimate causing the fighter to feel a sense of wetness in her boxer briefs. **_‘Shit. Fucking stop it!’_** She mentally scolds her body. **_‘I need a distraction.’_**

Lexa clears her throat then says, _“S-so, would like to tell me what has been stressing you out so much?”_

Clarke looks up from Lexa’s hand to meet her eyes, her movements unchanged. Her eyes looking at Lexa in a questioning sense.

_“I-I mean, only if you want to of course. No pressure.”_

Clarke cocks a brow then smiles. _“Yeah, okay. It’s nothing earth shattering or anything.”_

_“I don’t care. If it’s bothering you, then I wanna know about it. I’m here to listen.”_ Lexa gave her a comforting smile with wiggling eyebrows.

Clarke couldn’t help but to chuckle. _“Well, I’ve got this immensely important showing coming up next month.”_

_“You mean the one at Artspace Warehouse?”_

_“Yeah, that one. Some very big collectors are supposed to be there and if I can get them interested in any of my work, then my career would sky rocket.”_

_“mmhmm.”_ Lexa nods.

_“But I can’t seem to come up with a piece to showcase. I’ve painted a few abstracts and such, but none of them scream ‘masterpiece’ to me. They’re missing something. But I don’t know what. And because I haven’t submitting anything yet, my curator is breathing down my neck constantly. It’s getting on my last nerve.”_ Clarke sighs as she goes to grab the solvent, then carefully rubs it into Lexa’s hand.

Lexa fights back the need to moan, and focuses on helping Clarke with her problem. _“I see. Well what’s the theme you’re going for?”_ She says with a strained tone.

_“I’m not completely sure.”_ Clarke admits. _“Honestly I don’t have an ideal image in mind. I just…”_ She takes a breath. _“…I just want to create something that shows a symbol of strength, gentle kindness as well.”_ She lets go of Lexa hand, and starts moving her own in the air, suddenly filled with inspiration. _“Something that would make a person find the power within themselves to overcome any obstacle.”_ Her hands continue to move as she starts to look around the gym. _“Something that speaks to the heart of every person who’s ever felt defeated, but dreams of stepping up.”_ She rises to her feet, completely overtaken by her thoughts. _“Something that tells you that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Something like…”_ Clarke pauses. She looks down and stares directly into Lexa’s eyes.

Lexa’s heart begins to race as lit blue eyes consume her longing green ones. The exchange, is powerful and full of thought. A hint of a question that has yet to come. Lexa finally speaks. _“…something like what?”_

Clarke smiles. _“I’ve got it. I know what it is I want to create for my presentation.”_

Lexa smiles with her. _“That’s great!”_ She says excitably. _“What is it?”_

Clarke raised her index finger and wiggled it from side to side as she shook her heard. _“Nope. It’s gonna be a surprise.”_

Lexa chuckled. _“Awee, c’mon Clarke. I thought we were pals?”_

_“We are.”_ Clarke replied. _“But I want to keep this to myself.”_

_“Fine, fine, fineee. I won’t push it then.”_ Lexa huffs playfully making Clarke laugh.

She sat back down and stared to wrap the bandages around Lexa’s hand. _“Thank you.”_ She spoke softly.

Lexa cocked a brow. _“For what?”_

_“For listening. For understanding. For being here for me. For calling me out on my bullshit. I promise I will do better.”_

Lexa smiles. _“You do more than enough. Just promise me you’ll come to me when things are hard, yeah?”_

Clarke nodded. _“Yes, no more hiding when something is bothering me. I swear.”_ Though she knew there was one issue she could not disclose to Lexa.

Lexa nodded in approval.

Clarke finally finished wrapping Lexa’s hand, but kept it between hers. Again, massaging it careful. The touch sending shivers through Lexa’s body, as well as… ** _’No. Control yourself. She is off limits.’_** She mentally lectures herself. Then a thought crossed her mind.

_“I have another question for you.”_

_“mmhmm? What is it?”_

_“Earlier, with the waitress…?” Clarke gulped. “…why were you so bothered by her?”_ Lexa asked.

_“W-well, I just thought it was rude how she just flirted with you right in front of me. I mean, what if we were a couple and she does that? It ‘causes her problems because I would have punched her teeth.”_

Lexa chuckled. _“Oh, really?”_

Clarke nodded. _“Yup.”_ A childish grin growing on her face.

Lexa just smiled at her and they looked at each other for a few moments.

_“I think the only thing now if what to do with Aden.” Clarke says._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Well whenever I do large or important projects, I’m in the studio for insane hours, and I have to have either Raven, Octavia, or mom to watch him for a few days. But Raven is traveling to Toronto for some engineer setup, Octavia is busy with her celebrity clients, and mom is gonna be filling in as chief of surgery till a new one is appointed so her hours will be monstrous.”_ Clarke sighs. _“I don’t want to make him stay in the studio with me. He’ll be so bored and lonely.”_

Lexa swallowed as an idea popped in her head. _“Why don’t I take him?”_

Clarke looks up at Lexa in surprise. _“What?”_

Lexa clears her throat and repeats. _“Why don’t you let me look after him? I mean he hangs at my house all the time and always seems to enjoy himself. I’m gonna be out of training at least another 3 weeks, so I’m completely free.”_ This time Lexa takes Clarke’s hands into hers, intertwining their fingers. _“You can trust me. I will make sure he’s taken care of while you’re gone. I adore that kid, so I’ll watch him like a hawk.”_

Clarke’s face of shock calms into one of affection. Her smile wide, and her eyes soft as she gazes into green determined and sincere ones. She nods. _“Okay, I do trust you. I’m sure Aden will be over the moon with this news.”_

Lexa smiles wide herself. _“I know Titus is gonna be jumping to the roof with all his excitement. He’s my dog, but he doesn’t get happy for anyone as much as he does for Aden.”_

Both women laugh, their fingers still entwined in the moonlight.

Clarke looks to Lexa, the calm showing all over her. _“Thank you, Lex. Thank you for everything.”_ She says affectionately.

Lexa returns the gesture. _“Anytime mamabear.”_

Clarke unhooks their hands, Lexa is slightly disappointed by the separation, but that disappeared when Clarke grasped her arms and pulled Lexa close to her. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck, and pulled her into an enchanting embrace. Lexa was slightly shocked, but that only lasted a minute. She wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist, and pulled her in tighter. Their bodies connected. Warmth exchanged in the calming air. Lexa pulled Clarke closer until she was able to place her head in the crook of Clarke’s neck. She breathed in her scent of fleshly flowered shampoo, basking in it. Making her heart bang itself against her chest; her blood pumping hard in her veins; wetness rushing from her core as her body begged for more contact.

Before she could stop herself, Lexa’s good hand started to slightly creep up Clarke’s back, feeling the ach of her back as it curved upward. Her hand ending up behind Clarke’s neck; her fingers playing with loose blonde locks. Her other arm pulled Clarke in tighter; Lexa starts to nuzzle her nose into Clarke’s neck gently. The motion causes Clarke’s breath hitches in her throat; her body involuntarily grinds against Lexa’s in their embrace. Her hands clenching Lexa’s neck. A subtle growl escapes in Lexa’s chest, alerting her to what was happening.

**_‘Oh, shit. No. No. Down Lexa, down.’_** Lexa breathes her in one last time before she reluctantly pulls away. She doesn’t let go of the embrace, instead she rests her head against Clarke’s. Their eyes closed while their noses touch slightly; her breath becomes slightly erratic.

Clarke rubs her nose against Lexa’s, before taking a long deep breath. _“I-I should go.”_

**_‘No, please don’t go…’_** Lexa takes her own deep breath. _“mmhmm.”_

Clarke rubs her nose against Lexa’s one more time before finally parting. They look into each other’s eyes again. Both showing a sense of darkness overtaking the color in their eyes. Both breathing heavily as they continue to fully pull away from each other.

Clarke clears her throat. _“Thank you, and again I’m sorry for everything that went on before.”_

_“It’s in the past.”_ Lexa exclaims. _“And I never really let myself dwell on the past.”_ She smirks.

Clarke giggles. _“Okay, I can get down with that.”_ Clarke smiles. _“Oh! And I brought you some of that Fettucine Alfredo you like.”_

_“Did you make it??”_ Lexa asked excitably

_“Of course. My friends always get the best.”_ Clarke chuckled.

_“You’re the best I swear.”_ A huge grin on Lexa’s face.

_“Thank you, I am honored you think so.”_ Clarke gave her a soft smile, her face all flushed. _“Alright, so I’ll head out. I’ll take you to the doctor again tomorrow so they can look at your hand.”_

_“Sounds like a plan to me.”_

_“Good. And we’ll discuss the Aden situation during the ride or lunch or something.”_

**_‘I’ve got her back.’_** Lexa nodded.

Clarke stood from the bench, then took her purse. _“Okay. Bye Lex, I’ll see you in the morning.”_

_“Later mamabear, see you then.”_

They waved at each other as Clarke made her way to the exit, then closed the door behind her. Lexa let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Her heart still racing. Her underwear feeling slightly damp. **_‘Fuck…looks like I’ve got a new frustration to let out. Sorry punching bag.’_** She got up, grabbed the food Clarke left, and put in the gym fridge. She returned to the bench to grab some gloves and took a swig of her water bottle. She wiped her mouth and placed it back. She put on the gloves as gently as she could as she walked over to the punching bag. **_‘Just because I can’t use my left arm, doesn’t mean I can’t work out the rest of my body.’_** Lexa smirks. **_‘Alright old friend. I’m sorry but I’ve got a lot pent up and I need a release.’_** She positioned herself around the bag then started letting out a series of strikes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so we made it through this chapter. What did you think of Clarke and Lexa’s first fight? O you think the arrangement with Aden will work out? Do you think the tension is growing between the two women? Tell me your thoughts in the comments. And just a quick promotion but if you guys are interested, I make Clexa music videos on YouTube as well. Check them out if you’re interested, and sub if you like. Here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpo0j_LxT1csOIJCunkDOPg Also if there are any artists out there that are enjoying my stories, I’d be thrilled to see any drawings they might inspire. I’d love to see someone draw MMA Lexa, that’d be dope. If you’re interested, then add me on Tumblr. Here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/wolfjillyjill I wanna get to know my audience, so feel free to open a conversation with me. Thank you!


	8. “Just Like You”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bounce between Lexa & Clarke’s POV.   
> Lexa spends some quality time with Aden while Clarke is busy preparing for her upcoming gallery showing. There are some moments of fluff, domesticness, memories, with a dash of angst. Rather long, but a perfect recipe for development you might say.

Chapter 8: “Just Like You”

Lexa stretched her arms out as she stepped out of her 1977 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am. It had been nearly 3 weeks since she had to have the arm wrapped again from her cool off in the gym. Dr. Kane was of course very irritated that Lexa hadn’t even gone 24 hours before re-injuring herself, but once she explained he showed her some leniency. Kane always had a soft spot for the fighter, though he’d never admit to it. Now that it was off, Kane instructed that she was still not allowed back into training for another 2 weeks so it could heal properly. It irked her a little that she had to stay out of the gym longer, but there was a plus side to her current situation.

For the last few weeks she’d been making good on her deal with Clarke. Whenever she was going to have to stay in the studio longer, Lexa would scoop Aden up from wherever he was and she’d spend time with him until his mother’s triumphant return. The routine would go that Lexa would meet up with them at a halfway point or Aden would meet her at her house after he came home from school. She’d usually make sure he was fed first, then they’d either stay in and have some Netflix and relax time, take Titus on walks in the park or around the neighborhood, have a video game competition or two, then Clarke would come get him when she was off work. Sometimes Anya and Luna would stop by and hang out with them as well. Luna a little more so than Anya. The latter had actually started properly courting Clarke’s friend Raven, so the two were absent some of the time. Lexa was slightly surprised by it at first, since Anya was the _‘player type’_ like presumed self, but _‘I don’t know, the girl is infuriating as all hell, and kinda like it. A lot actually.’_ She remembers her friend saying. Lexa couldn’t be happier for her.

Lexa walked through the double doors of Clarke’s art studio and did her best to remember the instructions given to her. She’d never been here before, most of the time she didn’t have to come get Aden from Clarke’s work, but today Clarke didn’t have the time to pick a closer meeting spot. Lexa didn’t mind however, gave her a chance to finally step into the Griffins’ territory for once, not to mention strut her baby (her car) around town after so many weeks of neglect. As Lexa walked around the studio, she couldn’t help but be amazed by the different paintings littering the walls. Clarke shared the space with multiple artists, so there was an abundance of different styles and signatures all around her. When she finally reached the 3rd floor, she walked through the large space until she spotted the two familiar figures.

Lexa smiled as she watched Aden sitting on the floor reading what looked like a magazine, **_‘Probably the newest Gameinformer magazine’_** she guessed, and Clarke standing in front of a canvas. Lexa couldn’t help but notice how the blonde had her body weight shifted to one side, leaning on her right hip. Her hands were nowhere to be seen, so Lexa figured she probably had them in front of her. Occasionally she would sway her hips a bit, and Lexa would be lying if she said her eyes weren’t following ever movement of her ass in the fitted denim blue jeans the blonde was wearing. **_‘Dammit, eyes up Lex. Eyes up.’_** Lexa shook herself out of her inappropriate staring and cleared her throat to get the other two’s attention.

Aden was the first to look up. _“Commander!!”_ He said excitably, a goofy smile on his face as he placed the magazine down and hopped to his feet. In little to no time, he’d ran and clasped himself to Lexa, wrapping his arms around her torso into a tight hug.

_“What’s happening little man.”_ She wrapped one arm around his shoulder, pulling him tighter into the hug, while ruffling the mop on top of his head and going through the strands with her fingers. This was their signature greeting, and Lexa loved every minute of it.

***

Clarke turned her body fully around, smiling affectionately at the two embracing each other. **_‘That just gets more and more adorable every time I see it.’_** She thought to herself as she started to make her way towards them.

Since the little spat Lexa and her had they’d never been closer. The three of them had gone on trips to the mall a few times when Clarke was free, watched movies together, Clarke & Lexa would even go to lunch sometimes too, just the two of them. Clarke felt like the trinity bond between the three of them was only growing stronger each day, and she enjoyed it. She couldn’t deny how much it utterly melted her heart watching Aden and Lexa interact with each other. Their hugs, how Aden would drag Lexa to whatever store he wanted to go to, how they play fought and Lexa would always let Aden win, how’d she’d come pick Aden up and sometimes catch the two of them knocked out on the couch, Aden’s head in Lexa’s lap while her hand was in his hair and her head was leaned back. She’d taken a picture of them once or twice without their knowledge. She didn’t share them though, just kept them for herself. **_‘My own little pieces of treasure.’_** She’d said to herself.

Clarke was happy that the argument between them was quickly resolved, because if she had messed this up in any way and ruined the _‘Lexa and Aden show with frequent guest star Clarke’_ , she’d never forgive herself. Not to mention she was conflicted over the fact that she only shared half the truth with Lexa for why she was so distant in the first place. Now the she realized she had more than just a crush on the fighter and had had more than a few _‘private moments’_ with herself with the brunette as her sole method of inspiration since she did come to terms with that was troubling her. She was still fighting within herself to keep things platonic, but the more time she spent with Lexa, the more her feelings seem to intensify. **_‘I can’t tell her though.’_** She thought. **_‘Throwing how I feel about her in the mix will only complicate things.’_**

Clarke stopped just a few feet from them and leaned on her hip again as she continued to view them. Lexa looked up and once she realized Clarke was staring, those powerfully fierce emerald eyes smiled at her with the same amount of adoration as the matching smile on her lips. Clarke’s breath hitched in her throat and she could feel the rising heat in her…*cough*…cheeks as the smile on Lexa’s face grew wider, the gleam in her eye showing a slight hint of predatory intent. **_‘No, that couldn’t be it. Just your imagination.’_** Clarke blinked to break the locked gaze they held for a few moments before she waved her hand, mouthing an _‘Hello.’_

But that wouldn’t do.

***

Lexa looked down at Aden, then tapped his shoulder lightly. Aden looked up and raised his brows questioningly with a hum.

_“Mind if I greet mambear as well?”_ She asked politely.

_“Oh, yeah right.”_ Aden broke away from the hug then turned around and spotted his mother. _“Sorry for hogging the Commander ma.”_ He smiled apologetically.

Clarke smiled and shook her head. _“I don’t mind. I’ve learned enough by now that it’s best to just let you two do you.”_   She chuckled.

Lexa ruffled Aden’s head one more time before she made her way to his parental unit. She gracefully snaked one of her arms around Clarke’s waist, carefully pulling her in, their bodies flush against each other, resting her hands on the small of Clarke’s back while her head tucked in to her shoulder. Clarke had gasped at first, as she always did when Lexa caught her off guard, but within seconds she responded by wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck and rested her chin atop her shoulder. They breathed slowly as arms tightly pulled them into each other unbelievably closer; hands rubbing in soothing circular motions. A steady rhythm of Lexa’s heart played in her own ears, a sense of calm enveloping them bother. **_‘Why does this feel so…so right?’_** She thought to herself. The whispering of Clarke’s breath tickling the baby hairs on the back of her neck while she inhaled the scent of Clarke’s apple cucumber shampoo. **_‘So far it’s only been her. Only her that makes me feel so…so…’_**

_“Hi.”_ The tender sound of Clarke’s broke Lexa’s train of thought.

_“Hey you.”_ Lexa replied in practically a whisper.

They parted a bit so that they were looking at each other’s faces. Smiles parallel to one another, beaming with affection that only one another could produce. Green and blue did a sultry dance neither really realized as they stared at each other. Into each other; moving with a song both seemed to hear that no one else could. **_‘She’s so…so…’_**

_“Beautiful.”_

Clarke cocked a brow as a warm hue colored her cheeks. _“Um, thank you.”_

Lexa juked slightly as it dawned on her that she did not say that last part within her own head. **_‘Shit, I did it again.’_** A beat of nervousness she wasn’t aware she could have had taken over her voice’s usual confidence. _“Y-you, y-your welcome.”_

Since things had gotten even better between the pair, Lexa found herself becoming more vulnerable to word vomiting. She’d compliment Clarke out loud when she thought she was saying it in her head, usually at the most random of times, though it didn’t seem to bother the blonde. In fact, it seemed to make her blush and smile at Lexa in ways she never thought possible. There would be limitless amounts of admiration and sentiment soaking through her and directed towards Lexa. Something that was more than unfamiliar to the brunette. **_‘Maybe…maybe there’s something there…something…more…’_** She thought.

_‘No one will ever love you.’_ That familiar venomous voice seeped into her mind. _‘No one will ever want you.’_

**_‘Stop it.’_** She tried to yell back in her head.

_‘You are worthless.’_

**_‘STOP!’_ **

_“Lexa?”_

Lexa snapped back to reality as those cerulean eyes scanned her with inquiry. _“Huh? Wha?”_

_“You okay? I think I lost you for a second there.”_

Lexa suddenly felt a sting in her finger tips. Her insides felt dirty and disgusting. **_‘You’re sullied. You’ll ruin her.’_** She quickly unclasped herself from Clarke’s embrace. She turned her gaze away from Clarke as a feeling of shame hung on her shoulders.

_“Lex?”_ Clarke asked with concern.

**_‘Not here, not right now. Not in front of them. Snap out of it Lex.’_** She shook her head and cleared her throat. She quickly replaced the look on her face with one of feigned happiness then looked past Clarke to Aden.

_“So little man, what kind of adventures you wanna embark on today?”_ Lexa could see through the side of her eye Clarke’s puzzled expression, but ignored it all together. **_‘Don’t show any signs of weakness.’_**

***

_“I wanna go to the arcade!”_ Aden answered excitably.

Clarke would usually smile at this but she continued to look at Lexa in confusion. **_‘What just happened?’_** She wondered. **_‘Why did she break away from me so suddenly like that with that strange look?’_** Clarke could feel a slight sense of dread hanging over Lexa. **_‘Something is wrong.’_**

_“The arcade sounds great!”_ Lexa answered.

**_‘She’s faking her excitement.’_ **

Lexa turns to Clarke but her eyes still seem to be flying past her. _“Do you mind that, Clarke?”_

**_‘Why won’t she look me in the eye all of a sudden?’_** Clarke gazed at Lexa suspiciously. _“Y-yeah, that sounds fine.”_

Lexa nodded then turned back to Aden. _“Arcade it is then, grab ya stuff and let’s head out little man.”_

_“Okay!”_ Aden ran back to his spot to gather his belongings.

_“Lex.”_ Clarke spoke.

Lexa turned her attention to the blonde. _“Hmm?”_

She has to ask. _“Is everything okay?”_

_“Yeah, of course they are. Never better.”_

**_‘She’s lying.’_ **

_“Why do you ask?”_

**_‘Cause you’re acting weird.’_** She wants to say. _“You just seem…”_

_“Ready Commander!”_ Aden interrupted.

Lexa looked at Aden. _“Awesome! Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”_

_“Yeah!”_ Aden hugged his mother. _“Later mom.”_

Clarke smiled at growing boy and said, _“See you later A.”_

Aden broke away from his mother then sprinted towards the exit. Lexa looked at Clarke and gave her a forced small smile before following behind the boy.

**_‘Something is off with her.’_** Clarke sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. **_‘Maybe I can get her to talk to me about it later.’_** She turned on her heels and walked back to what she was working on.

***

_“Let’s play Galaga, then Space Invaders next!”_ Aden suggested.

Lexa chuckled and answered, _“Alright, lead the way little dude.”_

It had been hour number 4 as they continued to walk around and played a variety of games together. Lexa never got to do things like this growing up, spending time with parents or a guardian of some kind, so experiencing things like going to the arcade or the mall with Aden were moments she hoped the preteen enjoyed as much as she was currently. Lexa was rather good at the games this place had, due to the fact that once she had broken out of the orphanage with Anya and Luna one of the places they frequently snuck into were arcades. She let Aden win most of their games though, unbeknownst to him, just to help build the young boys confidence. He had seemed rather down lately, so seeing him so thrilled when he won games against her were actually small victories for herself.

_“Watch out! On your left!”_ Lexa assisted as Aden did his best not to get killed by the digital enemies.

_“Got it!”_ Aden moved his ship to the right.

_“There’s one coming up on your right!”_

Aden shifted the ship to the left, his body moving along with it.

_“You got this!”_ Lexa cheered as Aden hit the final alien on screen.

_“NEW HIGH SCORE!!”_ Aden raised his arms up in victory at his new accomplishment.

Lexa scooped Aden up in a bear hug and twirled him around in excitement. This may not seem like much to others, but she was proud of the boy. She could see how much he was still trying to find himself in the world around him, a lost pup of sorts fighting against the current of a swiftly moving sphere. Being able to celebrate even the simplest of things he did, warmed her heart and filled her with pride for him.

_“Ow.”_ Aden winced in pain.

Lexa instantly put him down. _“Oh crap, I’m so sorry. Did I squeeze you too hard?”_

_“No, no you’re okay Commander.”_ Aden replied. _“I fell at school yesterday so my shoulder hurts a little.”_

**_‘That’s the 4 th time in the last few weeks.’_** Lexa reminds herself. _“Fell how?”_ She interrogated.

_“I slipped on a piece of paper in the hallway when I wasn’t paying attention and dropped on my shoulder.”_

**_‘That sounds too specific.’_** _“You want me to take a look at it? Make sure it’s not a bad bruise or something?”_ Lexa reached to place a hand on his shoulder, but he instinctively moved it way. **_‘That’s not like him.’_**

_“Nah, I’m okay don’t worry. Let’s go to the next game.”_ Aden smiled reassuringly.

**_‘Something is wrong.’_** She thought, but Aden obviously wants to move on from the incident so she lets it go, for now. _“Okay, if you say so.”_

Lexa followed behind Aden as he made his way to the next game.

***

Clarke rubbed her temple and sighed heavily as she looked over her work. **_‘This is still missing something. I can’t put my hand on it though.’_** She had been working on her newest painting for the last 8 hours, her only break being when Lexa came to pick up Aden. She had developed this perfect picture in her head. The image seemingly burned into her memory. But fingers seemed unable to produce her thoughts into reality. Her praised appendages felt almost inadequate to take up the task she led them on. But she was so close. **_‘I’m so close. I know can do this.’_**

She shook her head of all doubt and grabbed one the brushes out of the jar of water. She dipped it into the most appropriate color then lightly pressed it against the canvas. Within minutes she felt herself getting lost in the depths of her mind. Her hands, taken over by the ghost of another, flowing like water as her strokes continued. Her consciousness seeped away. Completely enveloped and caressed by genius she did not fully grasped she had living within her. Painting was her high. Her peace in an otherwise barbaric world. She remembers the first time she ever touched a paint brush to paper…

                                                                                                                                                                ____________________________________________________________________________

_Her father had come how to her staring out a window, lightly tracing the tree they had in their backyard with her small fingers against the glass. He watched in amusement as she concentrated as hard she could, desperately trying to get the marks of the tree to perfection. He smiled then silently approached his daughter._

_“And what may I ask are you up to little Ella?” Her father always referred to her by her middle name. Even as a child Clarke saw it as something special._

_Clarke’s concentration broke immediately at the sound of her father’s voice. “Shhh, I’m trying to draw the tree daddy.” The young 5 year-old replied with a scrunched nose and furrowed brows._

_“Oh, I humbly apologize.” He playfully bowed, then crouched down next to her and looked at the glass. “It looks so nice.” There was no actual picture there, but he always indulged his daughter’s vivid imagination._

_“I don lie kit.”_

_“How come?”_

_“Feews lie somethin is mizzin.” She pouted. **‘It always felt like something was missing.’**_

_“Is that so? Well what exactly is missing love?”_

_“I don kno.” Small blue eyes make their way to tender brown ones. “Wha you tink daddy?”_

_Jake took a moment to think. His brow rose when a thought popped into his head. “I’ll be right back, stay here, okay?”_

_Clarke nodded and watched as her father made his way out of her room._

_Jake returned a few minutes later with some items in his hands. “Here honey.” He took her small hand and placed a thin paint brush into her palm and she closed her fingers around it._

_“Wha is tis daddy?” She looked at him with a questionable expression._

_“This is a paint brush.”_

_“Paint brush?”_

_“Yes.” He then shows her a pallet will circles of different colors on them. “This is called a pallet.”_

_“P-pawwet?”_

_He chuckles at his daughters steadily developing pronunciation. “Yes, a pallet.” He points to the circles. “You see all these colors here?”_

_She nods._

_“These are different paints. You use it to make pretty pictures like the cartoons you see on TV.”_

_“Reawwy??” She cocks a brow with a scrunched face._

_He chuckles. “Yes. Want me to show you?”_

_Clarke nods, her interest seemingly peaked._

_Jake takes out a piece of paper. He then takes the brush from his daughter’s hand, dipping it into one of the colors, then smears it against the paper. He dips the brush into a cup of water he had, cleaning it, then dips it into another color, repeating the action._

_Clarke’s little eyes widen at the beautiful colors bursting in front of her. Watching her father paint unlocks an array of joy she never experienced in her life before. She feels an itching in her fingers, begging to create something herself._

_Jake takes notice of her excitement. He smiles then offers the brush to his little girl. “Would you like to try Ella?”_

_Clarke nods frantically._

_He giggles then gives her the supplies, along with a new sheet of paper._

_Within seconds her nimble fingers start to produce the image of the tree in their yard. The browns and greens matching near perfectly. The blue of the sky with hints of whites for the clouds dancing around it. The ground beneath looking near lifelike. When she finishes she holds the paper up to her father._

_“Daddy! Look, look! I did it!”_

_Jake smiles with undeniable pride at his daughters’ creation. “Yes hun! You did, you did it!” He takes the paper from her hand, grabs some tape from the desk in her room and posts it on the wall above her bed. He hoists her into his arms and holds her on his hip, showing her the new display. “It’s so beautiful Ella. Just like you.”_

_Clarke giggles. “Sto it daddy, no it nahh.”_

_“Yes it is. You did so good honey. Daddy loves your painting. Will you keep making more? More for daddy?”_

_“Yes!” She replies then wraps her small arms around his neck. “I wove you, daddy.”_

_“I love you too Ella. I’m so proud of you.” He kisses the side of her head. “I’m so, so proud of you.”_

                                                                                                                                                                _______________________________________________________________________________

Tears begin to well up in Clarke’s eyes at the memory of her father. One of her fondest ones. She kept the picture she made that day with her at all times, her good luck charm. Currently it was folded in her back pocket. She missed her father so much all the time. She feels his spirit with her every time she grabs a brush, a pencil, a crayon, anything really. She feels like it’s him holding her hand as they move across the different surfaces. **_‘I wish you could see this daddy.’_** She thought to herself. **_‘Would you still have been proud of me?’_**

_“Wow, this is coming out splendidly.”_ A deep, but familiar voice interrupts Clarke’s thoughts.

Clarke turns to greet the man approaching her. _“Thelonious, I didn’t know you were still here?”_ She smiles at the older dark skinned man as he stands beside her, looking in awe at her product.

Thelonious Jaha was her curator, mentor, and old friend of the family. One of her father’s best friends actually. She grew up a few blocks away from him and his son, Wells Jaha, her friend who is currently studying Greek mythology abroad. Jake had always proudly gossiped about Clarke artistic abilities and since Thelonious was an artist and collector himself, he took an interest in the girl from when she was young. When she decided to get serious about her artist career, he was there from day one just like Raven and Octavia. He took her under his wing and helped her expand her horizons. He introduced her to different methods of painting, the new as well as the old styles. Opened her mind to the godfathers of many creations. And got her to show her work to an abundance of collectors and big wigs in the art world. Thelonious was a strict man, but always showed Clarke nothing but respect and admiration for her work. She was very grateful to have him in her life. 

_“I just finished up the final touches for the showing.”_ He replied. _“We’ve got at least 250 collectors coming from around the Globe to attend the Gala next month.”_

_“Wow, seriously? That many?”_ Clarke had to admit she was impressed. Thelonious always knew how to bring in a turn out, but they never had so many who wanted to attend before.

_“Yes. And they’re all coming to see you.”_

_“Me?”_

He nodded. _“Your spring showing two years ago really flipped the tides in your favor. We made a little over half a million dollars on one of your paintings alone that season and the world has been absolutely buzzing to see your next creations.”_

Clarke blushed a bit from Thelonious words. She knew she was talented, but never really grasped how much of an audience she built until this moment.

Thelonious placed a hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed, smiling at her with pride. _“You have a gift Clarke. One that the world wants more and more of. Will you keep making more?”_

**_‘Will you keep making more? More for daddy?’_** The words beat in her heart like a sultry song. **_‘Always daddy. Always.’_** She smiles at her mentor and nods. _“Yes. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”_

***

The hours had grown late as Aden and Lexa sat on the bench outside her backyard, watching Titus as he sniffed the ground and tried to play with the neighborhood stray cats.

_“Titus is such a goofball.”_ Aden chuckles as he watches the Rottie wagging he nub as he watches a Tabby cat walking along Lexa’s fence. _“You think he wants to eat them or is just interested in play?”_

Lexa chuckles too. _“I’m pretty sure he’s no fan of cat cuisine. He just likes making new friends.”_

_“Yeah, ones that are intimidated by his size.”_

_“Possibly. Could be he just comes on too strong.”_ Lexa lifts herself from the bench. She playfully flexes her muscles, scowls her face, and speaks in a hulking voice. _“Hi! I’m Titus! Wanna play with me!”_

Aden busts out in tearful laughter at the fighters’ antics. Titus notices their excitement and decides to join them. Barking playfully along with his master.

Lexa keeps her impression going and turns to Titus who is looking at her happily with a wagging nub. _“Hi! There! You wanna be my friend!?”_ Maintaining her hulk voice.

_“Bark, bark!”_ Titus replies.

Aden continues dying in the background.

_“Really!? You wanna!? You wanna!?”_

_“Bark, bark, bark!”_ Titus hops frantically, enjoying every minute of his masters’ role play.

Lexa stretches out her arms to him, and Titus immediately gets on his hind legs and uses his front paws to rest in her hands.

Aden continues to laugh as he watches Lexa and Titus dancing in place together. _“Go Commander! Go Titus!”_ He claps for them in encouragement.

After a while Lexa let’s Titus go and rubs her fingers over his head and around his ears. _“That’s my good boy. Such a great dancer.”_

_“Bark, bark!”_

Lexa looks to Aden and smiles warmly as she sees the joy in his eyes. **_‘I did that. I made him happy like that.’_** Pride engulfs her body.

_“That was awesome Commander.”_ Aden says.

Lexa playfully bowls. _“Had a blast doing it. Ready to go back inside little man?”_

_“Yeah, sure. Getting cold out here anyways.”_

Lexa follows behind Aden and Titus as they make their way inside. Titus jumps a bit on Aden’s right side, bumping his shoulder. Aden winces but tries to cover it up quickly, but Lexa notices.

_“That shoulder giving you problems again huh?”_ Lexa asks.

_“A bit, nothing I can’t handle.”_ Aden answers but avoids her eyes.

Lexa closes the door behind her once they’re inside, but stands at the door. _“Aden.”_ She says sternly.

_“Yeah?”_ He looks at her a little confused.

Lexa points to a seat at the kitchen table. _“Sit.”_ She commands.

Aden looks at the chair then back at her, his eyes showing conflict.

_“Sit down, now.”_ She commands again.

He nods and obeys. He sits in the seat as requested.

Lexa leans against the kitchen counter and crosses her arms over her chest. She takes a deep breath then calmly speaks to the boy. _“What happened to your shoulder?”_

Aden tenses, but tries to speak. _“I-I told you. I slipped and fell.”_

Lexa cocks a brow. _“The truth Aden. Tell me the truth.”_

Aden looks away, shame coating his expression.

Lexa relaxes her body and approaches him. She crouches down to his level and places a supportive hand on his other shoulder. _“Please little man.”_ She says softly. _“Tell me what happened. I won’t be mad, I promise.”_

Tears welled up in Aden’s eyes as he spoke. _“It was John. He punched me really hard in the shoulder when I wouldn’t pick up his pen for him.”_

**_‘John, that son of a bitch.’_** Anger started to build in her chest, but she kept it at bay as she continued to address the problem at hand. _“He’s been hurting you again, hasn’t he?”_ If there was anything Lexa was familiar with, it was being hurt by other people.

Aden nodded as tears started to stream down his face. _“I don’t know why. He just won’t leave me alone. I tell him to stop, but it just makes him angrier.”_

_“Why haven’t you told Clarke or Me?”_

_“I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be strong and brave, like you.”_ Aden’s small blue eyes turned to his idol. Sadness and disappointment seeping through them.

It broke her heart to see him like this. To think he admired her so much so, that he was willing to silently fight his own battles, just to prove he could be like her. To show her that she was a symbol of strength in his mind. Lexa felt proud, yet oddly guilty at the fact. She didn’t want him to suffer just to prove himself. Truthfully Lexa looked up to him, because despite the bullying he endured he always managed to keep a smile, and had the ability to laugh, meanwhile he hides his pain, so no one else had to know. **_‘I cannot let this stand. I will not let this stand.’_**

Lexa smiled at the wounded looking boy. _“You are strong Aden. And you are already brave. You make me proud every minute we spend together and I couldn’t ask for a better person in my life.”_ She sighed and gave him a serious look. _“But I don’t want you letting that punk take advantage you. This ends, NOW. I will talk to your mother about this and we will figure something out together. Okay?”_

Aden nods, and sniffles. _“Okay.”_

Lexa smiles softly at him then pulls him into a hug, rubbing circles along his back in a soothing motion. _“You are brave. You are strong. I am proud of you. Remember that, and repeat it to yourself every day.”_

Aden nods in her embrace and grips her. _“I am brave. I am strong. You are proud of me.”_

Lexa nods then lets him go. _“It’s late. I think you might be staying over again. I’ll get your room ready while you take a shower and get ready for bed, alright?”_

Aden smiles. _“Okay, Commander.”_ He hugs her one last time then makes his way to the bathroom, Titus following right behind him like a bodyguard.

After a half hour, Aden had tucked himself into what used to be Lexa’ guestroom bed, with Titus curling up right next to him. Lexa sat at the edge on the side of him. Rubbing her fingers through his hair. The boy had mentioned to her once that he had nightmares a lot, but anytime she did that to him he always slept a full night with no terrors, so she did it as often as possible.

_“Goodnight, Commander.”_

_“Goodnight, little man.”_

_“And, thank you.”_

Lexa cocks a brow. _“For what?”_

_“For being there for me. There for my mom. I know she likes to do things on her own and can be stubborn when it comes to asking for help, but I’m glad she has you to turn to. That we have you.”_ Aden smiles gratefully at her, sending shockwaves of warmth into her heart. Her heart swells and melt at the same time, completely taken aback by his devotion.

**_‘Damn the power of that smile of his.’_** She tries to reciprocate it with her own smile. _“Well aren’t you an insightful dude.”_ She says playfully.

He nods.

_“Of course Aden. I’ll always be here for you guys, as long as you want me.”_ She promises. **_‘I swear it.’_**

Aden nods, the smile still on his face. _“Okay.”_

Lexa places a soft kiss on his temple. _“Get some rest my little warrior.”_

Aden chuckles then buries himself in his blanket and closes his eyes. Titus readjusts and snugs closely into his side, causing the boy to wrap his arm around the dogs’ upper body.

Lexa remains there a little longer, continuing to run her fingers through his hair until she hears light snoring coming from him. She smiles. **_‘I’ll always be here for you.’_** Then gets up and makes her way to the door, carefully closing it behind her.

***

Clarke made her way to the entrance of Lexa’s house, thoroughly exhausted from working an insane amount of hours today alone. **_‘One more month.’_** She reminded herself. **_‘One more month and then I will be able to relax again.’_**

As she approached Lexa’s door she rummaged through her bag until she found her keys. She picked out the one for Lexa’s door then opened it. Lexa had given her the key when this whole arrangement started. _‘That way if you ever need to get in and come get Aden, but we’re sleep, you won’t be standing outside my door like a crazed fan.’_ Clarke chuckled at the memory. **_‘Such an idiot, but she made a valid point.’_**

As she stepped inside she saw that most of the lights were off, Aden was nowhere to be seen, **_‘Probably asleep in the guestroom aka his room.’_** , no big dog had tackled her, **_‘He’s probably in bed with Aden again.’_** , and the TV was on with a brunette lounging about on the couch.

Lexa smiled as she turned her head to greet the new company of her home. _“Hey there mamabear.”_

**_‘She looks in a better mood.’_** Clarke thinks as she recalls the state the brunette was in when they parted earlier. _“Hey Lex.”_ She replied. _“Is Aden already asleep?”_

_“Yeah, he knocked out maybe an hour and a half ago.”_

_“Dang, okay.”_ Aden is a hard sleeper once he’s really gone down for the night. **_‘Looks like he’s staying over again.’_**

_“You look like you had a rough day, why don’t you chillax for a stint? I’ll grab us some beers from the kitchen.”_ Lexa offers.

_“Sure, I’ll take you up on that.”_

Lexa nods then gets up and makes her way to the kitchen. Clarke sits her bag and shoes at the front door then plops herself on Lexa’s couch, exhaling as she sinks into the comfort that engulfs her.

Lexa chuckles as she watches the blonde close her eyes and rest her head on the back of the couch. _“I hope that means you had a productive day?”_

Clarke nods. _“Very, but draining at the same time.”_

Lexa hands Clarke the open bottle of Corona and takes a seat next to her. They both take a few swigs of their drinks before relaxing further into the couch and sighing.

_“Were you able to finish the piece you were working on earlier when I met with you?”_ Lexa asks as she lowers the volume of the TV.

_“No, not yet.”_ She admitting. _“Still has a way to go. It’s my big finish for the showing, so it needs to be perfect. I got all the other side projects done though.”_

_“That’s good. At least things are moving along, no?”_

_“Yeah. Just wish I could figure out what it is that’s missing.”_

Lexa takes another swig of her drink. _“Something missing?”_

_“Yeah. Like it’s coming out how I’ve pictured it for the most part, but it feels incomplete. Like there’s something else that needs to be there to really show off the message I’m sending.”_

Lexa nods in understanding. She takes a moment to think on Clarke’s words, then it hits her. _“You’re thinking too much.”_

Clarke takes a hit of her drink then looks at Lexa confused. _“Thinking too much?”_

Lexa nods. _“Yes. You’re so focused on finding what’s missing, that it’s passing right by your eyes. You need to stop thinking about what you’re trying to create and just create it. Let your passion take over your body and just let yourself feel the image in your mind. Then let your fingers do the rest. Know what I mean?”_

Clarke ponders on Lexa’s advice. **_‘She’s right. I am thinking too much. I should try what she’s saying.’_** Clarke nods at Lexa. _“Okay, I’ll give it a shot and see what happens.”_ She smiles affectionately at Lexa, _“Thank you.”_

Lexa slightly blushes as she nods proudly, _“Anytime.”_

Clarke really enjoys it when Lexa is able to help her sort through her thoughts. The woman was rather good at it in fact. Her advice and outside perspectives had been fuel for a couple of the drawing Clarke managed to produce for the upcoming showing. **_‘I should be giving half the credit to her. I’m so grateful to have her in my corner.’_**

_“You helped me with my problem, why don’t I help you with yours.”_ Clarke exclaims.

Lexa cocks an eyebrow and looks at her. _“What do you mean?”_

_“You were acting weird right before you and Aden left the studio earlier.”_ Clarke explained. _“What happened? What was wrong?”_

Lexa’s eyes widen a bit as she remembers what Clarke is talking about. _“It was nothing really.”_ She answered. _“I just had something cross my mind for the moment and needed to get some fresh air as soon as possible.”_

_“You wanna talk about it?”_

Lexa looks away for a second then turns when she sees Clarke trying to rub against her feet, her face showing discomfort. _“Your feet bothering you?”_

**_‘She’s trying to change the subject.’_** Clarke notices. **_‘Okay, but we’re not done yet.’_** Clarke silently vows. _“Yeah, a bit. Been on them all day.”_

Lexa places the empty bottle on her end table, then takes Clarke’s bottle from her hand and does the same. She positions herself so she’s seated upright on the couch, legs planted on the ground. _“C’mere.”_ She says as she pats down on her legs.

Clarke raises an eyebrow at her movements. _“Huh?”_

Lexa chuckles. _“Take your socks off and lay your legs on mine.”_

Clarke nods then follows her commands. As soon as she’s settled, Lexa uses her hands to snag one of her feet and kneads them. Tenderly, gently, almost sensually.

Clarke’s breath hitches in her throat as Lexa’s strong, oddly soft fingers rub against her feet. Carefully soothing the aches and pains away completely. Clarke’s eyes flutter close as wave after wave of the calming sensations take over her body. Clarke feels a hint of wetness developing in her jeans as Lexa molds the skin of her feet into the perfect sculptor of relaxation and comfort. She bites her lower lip as a small involuntary moan escapes her mouth.

_“How’s that feel?”_ Her voice is almost husky in Clarke’s ears. _“Does it feel good?”_

**_‘Fuck yeah it does.’_** Clarke nods, unwilling to voice her real thoughts.

_“Do you want me to stop?”_

**_‘Fuck no, please, don’t stop. Never stop.’_** Clarke struggles to speak without moaning again. _“No, but you can if you want to.”_ Her eyes finally pop open and look at Lexa. She is sure her blue eyes have been blackened out by this point as wetness continues to seep from within her. **_‘Another pair of ruined underwear. Courtesy of one Lexa ‘The Commander’ Woods.’_**

Lexa nods, then places her foot down.

**_‘No...no…’_** Clarke begs internally. **_‘Please no…oh.’_**

Lexa then grabs the other and starts her menstruations on that one.

**_‘Oh…god…yes.’_** Clarke praises. Overjoyed that Lexa decided to continue. She is forced to keep biting down on her lower lip to keep herself from losing her mind.

All Lexa was doing was massaging her aching feet, and yet here she is fighting to keep herself sane and from jumping her friend. Her ever so caring, hot friend.

***

Lexa takes note of how her touching of Clarke’s feet is affecting the blonde. The moan she made earlier almost made Lexa lose control. **_‘No, I can’t do that. I can’t go there.’_** She reminds herself. **_‘No matter how badly you want her, she is off limits. OFF LIMITS LEXA!’_** She scolded herself. The problem was that watching Clarke in such ecstasy was having quite the effect on her as well. The way Clarke closes her eyes as they roll to the back of her head. The way she bites her low lip, visibly trying to mute herself from otherwise pleasurable sounds.

The whole display had Lexa breathing heavily; wetness developing in her shorts. The rhythm of her heart crashing in spades in her ears. The feel of Clarke’s skin in her hands, taunting her to touch more, more than what she currently had in her possession. The Lexa before Clarke and Aden would have had the blonde writhing underneath her, bending to her will as her hands and mouth roamed her body. The old Lexa would have claimed her in ways she never thought possible. Having her screaming so loud as she… **_‘NO! Stop it Lex.’_**

Lexa closed her eyes and attempted to steady her breathing. **_‘Not her. She is not like the others. Clarke is…Clarke is special.’_** She reminds herself, forcing her lower instincts to settle themselves. She’s in a dangerous spot though. If she keeps this up, she may just end up fucking up the friendship she’s developed with the blonde. **_‘I can’t lose that.’_** It was baffling to the brunette how a simple act of kindness, was turning into a major turn on. Seemingly for the both of them. She takes a deep breath then sits the blonde’s feet in her lap, tapping her leg lightly to let her know she was finished.

Lexa clears her throat before she speaks, _“Better?”_

Clarke slowly opens her eyes, the blue almost completely consumed by darkness. _“mmhmm. T-thank you.”_ She slightly stutters.

Lexa nods then a thought hits her. _“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”_

_“What’s up?”_ Clarke asks, still fighting to regain her senses.

_“Aden…”_ Lexa starts. _“Aden’s been getting bullied by John and his goons again.”_

Clarke’s eyes widen. “ _What!? Since when?”_

_“For some time if I’m correct.”_

_“Why didn’t he tell me?”_

_“I think he didn’t want to worry you.”_

_“What makes you think that?”_

_“I got him to tell me today. I noticed he was acting strange whenever pressure was applied to his shoulder. He tried to lie about it at first, but I eventually got the truth out of him.”_ Lexa explained.

Clarke sighed in frustration and ran her fingers through her head. _“I’ve been trying for months to get that kid, but since he’s the principals son, it’s proven to be rather difficult.”_

_“I have an idea. You might not like it though.”_

Clarke looked at Lexa suspiciously. _“What do you propose we do?”_

Lexa forms a small smile at the _‘we’_ in Clarke’s sentence. _“Let me train him.”_

_“What?”_

_“Let me train and mentor him. He already is obsessed with martial arts as we both know, and he’s already a very disciplined and logical kid for a 13-year-old. He’s got it in him, Clarke. The kid wants be stronger and he’s constantly a target, why not give him a fighting chance?”_ Lexa remembers one of the reason she got into MMA was because she wanted to be stronger and be able to counter the abuse she endured every day. **_‘Just like Aden.’_** She wanted him to be able to defend himself when she or Clarke couldn’t. **_‘I wanna make sure her boy…my boy…our boy was safe.’_**

Clarke took a few minutes to think about Lexa’s proposal. She couldn’t deny the truth in her words and she knew neither of them couldn’t be by his side every single second. The answer was obvious. Clarke sighed then answered _. “Okay.”_

_“Okay?”_ Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded. _“Okay, you can train him. But please be careful.”_

_“Of course.”_ Lexa smiled wide and proudly. _“Thank you, Clarke.”_

_“For what?”_

_“For trusting in me…I’m not really used to that, so thanks.”_

Clarke smiled heartily at Lexa. _“Thank you for always being there for him. For us. Make sure he’s just like you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that was a big one right? I hope it wasn’t overly long, was it? I just started and couldn’t seem to stop with this one. 
> 
> What did you guys think though? Did you like getting a glimpse into Clarke’s memories? Did you like the moments the three of them had with each other? Do you think their bond is thickening? What about the tension developing between Clarke and Lexa? 
> 
> Lay ya words on me in the comments. It’s what keeps me going forward. Thanks!


	9. “My Girl Likes to Party all the Time”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke’s POV. Clarke and the girls have a night of fun. Just some fun and fluff this time around.

Chapter 9: “My Girl Likes to Party all the Time”

Clarke stirs in her sleep as she feels something shifting against her body. **_‘The hell…?’_** She tries to move a bit on her own, but something restricts her from doing so. **_‘Why the hell is it so warm?’_** she wonders to herself. She slowly opens her eyes, her vision a little bit blurry.

_“Ah…”_ she winces as a throbbing pain hits her temples. **_‘Damn, why does my head hurt so badly?’_** She questions as her vision starts to clear and she takes note of her surroundings. She looks around and realizes that she doesn’t recognize any of the things she sees as her own.

_“Where am I…?”_ she whispers to herself as she slowly raises her head off of a pillow, resting her weight on her elbow. She goes to move her body, but is held in place.

_“What the….oh.”_ Her eyes widen as she sees a familiar sleeping brunette spooning her from behind. **_‘Lexa…Am I in Lexa’s…?’_** Clarke felt a small panic brewing in her chest. **_‘Oh my god…did we….?’_** Clarke looks down her body and sighed in relief as she saw that she was clothed in a pair of basketball shorts as well as a tank top that was rather large on her (both of which she assumes belongs to Lexa). **_‘Thank god…I guess.’_** She also sees the reason as for why she couldn’t move. Lexa’s arm was tightly wrapped around Clarke’s waist, pulling her ever so close. Clarke slightly gasped as Lexa nuzzled her head into the back of Clarke’s shoulder and inched Clarke’s body deeper into her own. Chills traveled up Clarke’s spine as she felt the warmth of Lexa’s breath against her skin, toned muscular arms clenching and holding her in place. **_‘Dear…lord…’_** Clarke’s chest rose and sunk as her heart rate increased; completely taken aback by her current situation.

Clarke was at a loss of what to do. She couldn’t pull her eyes away from the sleeping fighter. She lightly chuckled as she heard the light snoring coming from the woman, with an _‘umph’_ every now and then, signaling that the younger woman was fully warped in a dream Clarke could only imagine. Clarke smiled as the brunette snuggled into her back, nose gently grazing her skin. **_‘She looks so small, peaceful even. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so vulnerable.’_**

Clarke’s eyes scanned the woman beside her and noted a few things she never noticed before. Lexa was just in her sports bra, making it possible for Clarke to see that she had tattoos and scars. There was a tribal tattoo of a wolf on her upper right shoulder, with another on her right side of long claw marks with one of them having a trail going towards her back. She could see the edges of another tattoo on her back, but their position kept her from seeing the entirety of it. **_‘That’s so…badass.’_** She thought.

Clarke’s eyes took in the many, many small cuts that were littered among Lexa’s tanned skin. Some a little larger than others, but they looked strategically placed; a large gash on her side near the bottom of the tattoo, traveling to her back as well. Always having a rather sharp eye, Clarke couldn’t imagine how she missed these obvious features. They looked worn, so they weren’t brand new, they’d been there for a while. Years maybe if she had to guess because it seemed as if most of them had blended into her skin. **_‘How did she get those?’_** Clarke wondered. **_‘They look too old to be from her fights in the past.’_**

Lexa juked a bit in her sleep before she tightened her grip around Clarke’s waist. **_‘Oh shit…’_** Clarke fought the small moan threatening to release past her lips. Lexa pulled the blonde unbelievably closer, Clarke’s ass practically scraping against Lexa’s pelvic area and rippling abs, gripping onto her like her life depended on it. The motion made Clarke’s heart jump wildly in her chest. She’d hug Lexa a few times in the past, but never like this. Clarke felt…needed by Lexa. As if the presence of her body was keeping away whatever demons were haunting the brunette’s dreams. The thought was rather overwhelming to say the least, not to mention the feel of the younger woman beside her. Clarke really didn’t want to move away from the fighter…so she didn’t.

Clarke lay herself back down into Lexa’s bed, Lexa snuggling into her again as Clarke repositioned herself. As Clarke’s head rested into the pillow below her, Lexa comfortably tucked her chin into the crook of Clarke’s neck, her gentle breathing causing Clarke to have goosebumps, and she silently gasped at the breeze against her. Part of her felt guilty, as if she was taking advantage of their current state. Sure she didn’t ask to wake up in Lexa’s arms, but fuck it, this is where she was so why not, right?

Clarke placed her hand atop of the one Lexa had around her waist, her thumb rubbing ghostly against the back of Lexa’s hand. She did her best to calm her seemingly erratic breathing as blood pumped double time through her veins. A small smile morphed on her face as she grasped Lexa’s hand and laid it upon the exposed skin of her belly. Clarke had never felt so at ease in all her life. She felt…safe. As if Lexa’s sleeping form was shielding her from anything, and everything that could possibly hurt her. No one has ever made her feel so secure before. She found it rather endearing.

She resolved that she would stay like this a little while longer. **_‘For Lexa, of course.’_** In the meantime, as she lay there in the arms of the Commander, she tried to remember how she got in this position in the first place and why her head hurt so much.

***The night before***

_“YEAHH!! THAT’S FUCKING RIGHT!!”_ Lexa cheered.

_“GODDAMIT!!!”_ Anya yelled.

_“THAT’S RIGHT BITCH! YOU OWE ME 50 BUCKS!”_ Lexa teased the older woman and pumped her fist in the air.

_“Fuck you, this has to be a mistake.”_

_“You saw it for yourself.”_ Lexa responded. _“Ya girl Ronda Rousey just got knocked the fuck out. Pay up bitch!”_

Anya glared at the brunette as she laughed loudly and danced around the living room in victory.

_“She’s right babe.”_ Raven said from her spot on the couch. _“You can watch the replay if you want. Preacher Girl just owned the shit out of Ms. Formally Undefeated.”_

_“Commentary not necessary Raven.”_ Anya shifted her glare towards her grinning girlfriend. _“And why are you so happy about this? You realize this means it’s less money I’m spending on your ass right?”_

_“Yeah maybe, but it also means there’s more money in my pocket too.”_

Anya looked at Raven in confusion.

_“I placed a bet with a buddy of my mine at work in favor of Holly Holms. Which means I just scored 200 bucks.”_

The entire room consisting of Clarke, Lexa, Octavia, Anya, and Luna stared at Raven with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

_“The fuck…?”_ Lexa responded. _“I thought I was pushing it by betting $50, why would bet against Ronda for $200 when she was undefeated?”_ Everyone in the room nodded, all wondering the same thing.

Raven laughed loudly at her surrounding company’s faces. _“Well you see my friends, Ronda was feeling herself quite a bit going into this fight, while Holms remained ever calm and confident. Sure Ronda was undefeated, but Holms had 10 years’ worth of experience. It’s not too farfetched to think it would take a seasoned veteran to serve a nice slice of humble pie to a gloating bitch like her. Simple science if I do say so myself.”_ She lifted her chin in superiority as a smug smile camped itself across her lips.

_“Damn Reyes.”_ Octavia said. _“What are you, some kinda mentalist?”_

_“More like a witch.”_ Anya said with a scowl.

_“Awee babe, you’re so sweet.”_ Raven replied as she plopped herself in Anya’s lap and gave her fluttering kisses around her face, Anya’s expression growing even more annoyed.

Clarke chuckled. _“I swear I don’t understand how they are together.”_ She whispered to Lexa whom had taken a seat beside her.

_“Beats the hell outta me.”_ Lexa replied. _“Anya looks ready to tackle Raven to the ground.”_

_“I have a feeling if she did Raven wouldn’t mind that.”_

Both women gave each other a knowing look before laughing among themselves.

_“What’s got you two all gitty?”_ Luna asked with a smirk and raised brow as she looked at them, Octavia poking her head from behind Luna showing the same expression.

Clarke chuckled. “ _Nothing really. Just making fun of how Raven wouldn’t mind it if Anya tackled her to the ground at this point.”_

_“Or at any other in fact.”_ Lexa added.

Both Luna and Octavia joined in their amusement.

_“Wouldn’t be the first time honestly.”_ Raven said, getting the attention of all the women in the room. _“Actually I think it would be…”_

_“Raven!”_ Anya growled. _“Enough with sharing our sex life with people. I still can’t look Gustus in the eye after you told him about how much you enjoyed the practice mats at the gym.”_

_“Wait, what!?”_ Lexa gawked in surprise, Luna’s mouth was wide open as well. _“Really guys!?? We practice there. The gym is supposed to be sacred.”_

_“Technically it still is, just in a different way.”_ Raven wiggled her brows.

_“Raven!”_ Clarke scolded, Luna and Octavia practically fell off the couch dying of laughter in the background.

_“What?”_

_“You couldn’t keep ya hands to yaself there at least?”_

_“How could I? Have you seen this hunk of mine?”_ Raven says as she straddled in her girlfriend’s lap, wrapped her arms around her neck and left kisses on each of Anya’s blushing cheeks.

_“Stop it Raven.”_ Anya growled.

_“Okay, okay. But I didn’t cum all by myself in there.”_

_“RAVEN!”_ All the women shouted in unison.

_“Fine, fine. Prudes.”_ Raven chuckled devilishly. _“Any ways, now that the fights are over I say we all keep his party going and get hammered. What do ya say bitches?”_

They looked among themselves then shrugged and nodded in agreement. The initial point of them all gathering tonight at Lexa’s house was to watch the latest UFC fights, but since it was the weekend and none of them had to work the following day, there was no reasons to object. Clarke offered to help Lexa as they went into the kitchen to go through her liquor cabinet, leaving the other women to converse among themselves.

_“You better have tequila in there!”_ Raven shouted from the living room.

_“Yeah, yeah. Pipe down in there miss impatient.”_ Clarke shouted back making Lexa chuckle as she started pulling out some of the fan favorites and sitting them on the table: a bottle of Jack Daniels, Jager, Vodka, some beers, Rum, and of course Tequila.

_“She’s really a handful isn’t she?”_ Lexa said with amusement.

_“You have no idea.”_ Clarke replied as she gathered cups and shot glasses. _“I don’t know how Anya does it honestly. I could barely keep her ass on a leash myself all these years.”_

_“Well Anya’s no picnic either. I’ve had to challenge her and apologize for her antics on numerous occasions. None of them smoothly might I add.”_

_“They were made for each other then.”_ Clarke chuckled. _“Looks like we were both raising children way before Aden came into our lives, huh?”_ Clarke said the words before she really thought about them. **_‘Did I just imply that we’re raising Aden together? I didn’t, right? Did I?’_** The wheels in Clarke’s head started to go off the rails. ** _‘I mean we have been looking out for him, we’ve all spent loads of time together since we met her, I mean shit she’s even got a room set up in her home for him. Oh god I hope I didn’t make things awkward. Did I make things awkward? Shit.’_**

Lexa smiled to herself at that. _“Yeah, you would be correct there.”_

**_‘Crisis avoided.’_** Clarke sighed to herself and tried to change the subject to keep herself from having a panic attack in Lexa’s kitchen. _“Prepare yourself by the way.”_

Lexa cocked an eyebrow. _“For what?”_

_“If I know Raven, and sadly I do, she’s planning on having some kind of drinking game for us that will surely have us all blacking out at some point tonight.”_

_“Well then I guess it’s a good thing Aden is with his Grandmother this weekend, huh?”_ Lexa chuckled.

Clarke had to admit it was rather fitting that her mother wanted to take Aden on a trip the weekend of the fights. Before that she really didn’t think she was gonna be able to make it to this little shindig. She loved watching the fights with Aden, but in those cases it meant she had to babysit Raven and Octavia whom made it their mission to drink themselves blind afterwards. Festivities Clarke kind of wanted to partake in sometimes honestly. _“Yeah, I guess so.”_ Clarke smiled at Lexa, one which the brunette returned.

_“Will you bitches hurry the fuck up! Mama needs her teetee!”_ Raven called out.

Lexa busted out laughing. _“Alright, alright! Hold ya horses!”_ She shouted back as she separated the bottles between her and Clarke, each of them gathering what they had and setting it onto the table in the living room.

_“Finally!”_ Raven said. _“Okay hoes, let’s get this party started.”_

The night went on, filled with laughing, swearing, and beer pong. Lexa and Clarke teamed up together during the game and won 2 out of the 6 rounds. Luna and Octavia won 1, while Anya and Raven took the total victory with 3. It had been a while since Clarke really let herself loose like this. She’d been so focused on getting ready for the big showing and taking care of Aden, that she never really took the time to just enjoy herself. Being surrounded by the gang of goofy women and drinking to their hearts content really hiked her spirits up tenfold. Throughout the games the women talked about what they were up to recently. Anya had a big fight coming up, Octavia was going to be a stunt double for the next Fast and Furious movie, Luna had just started going back to school to become a physical therapist as a side gig, Raven was in the process of helping to build a new rocket for N.A.S.A, and Lexa was back in the gym training to get her body back in fighting shape while also taking on Aden as her apprentice.

Next they decided to put on The Sopranos, and every time a person said _‘Fuck’_ , they’d all take a shot. Unsurprisingly, they all ended up getting pretty twisted from that one. At one point Octavia was giggling so hard she fell off the couch arm that she was sitting on. Anya had been so inebriated that she started to become rather openly affectionate with Raven, to her delight of course. Luna on the other hand was constantly poking at Lexa, making the fighter squeal; both her, Luna, and Clarke ended up chuckling like little school girls. They watched close to five episodes doing this and by the end of the fifth one a few of the girls had been so drunk that they’d passed out: i.e. Luna and Anya.

_“Those two still can’t hold their liquor to this day.”_ Lexa laughed at her two best friends whom were laid out on top of each other on her couch.

_“My poor baby, never knew she was such a light weight.”_ Raven practically slurred as she chuckled, running her fingers through her sleeping girlfriend’s hair. _“But I am glad to see miss Griff here can still hang with the big boys like she used to.”_

_“Yeah, who knew party girl Griffin still existed after all these years.”_ Octavia chimed in.

_“Shut up you guys.”_ Clarke retorted, her face feeling slightly warm.

_“Party Girl Griffin?”_ Lexa questioned.

Raven took on another shot before she spoke, _“Awee, did she never tell you about her alter ego?”_

_“For shame Clarkey.”_ Octavia teased, wiggling a finger at Clarke while she took a shot of her own _. “Good girl Griffin here used to drink all the frat boys under the table.”_

_“Yeah, and that was before she’d take one of them, or even the girls they were flirting with, back to her room.”_ Raven added.

“Stopppp.” Clarke begged as she buried her head in Lexa’s shoulder, doing her best to hide her embarrassment. Lexa on the other hand was smiling amusingly at it all and listening intently.

_“Oh! How about when that one guy, I think his name was Finn, tried to start a chugging war with her?”_ Octavia continued.

_“Oh my god yeah! She won, climbed on the roof of their driveway and screamed ‘I’m the king of the world!’ while twirling her shirt in the air.”_

_“Right, right! And he ended up being found completely plastered on the sidewalk the next morning.”_

Clarke whined and pushed her head deeper into Lexa’s shoulder. The brunette responded by rubbing her hand on Clarke’s head while she continued to laugh and listen.

_“Meanwhile her ass bedded that freshman girl Niylah in the shed in their backyard.”_

_“Fucking priceless.”_ Both women were in an uproar of laughter as they retold their friends’ story.

Clarke took one of the throw pillows on Lexa’s couch and threw it hard at Raven, then grabbed another and aimed it at Octavia. _“You guys are such assholes. Why would you tell her about that? For Christ’s Sake, I was 19.”_

_“Yeah, and what a wild 19-year-old you were.”_ Raven joked.

Clarke hit Raven with another pillow before she turned her attention to Lexa. _“I really wasn’t that bad.”_

Lexa smirked. _“Don’t worry, Party Girl Griffin sounds pretty hot.”_ Lexa teased and winked at Clarke causing her face to turn different shades of pink.

_“U-um, thank you.”_ Clarke felt herself becoming a little flustered from all the unnecessary attention, so she took another shot to try and calm herself.

As the time rolled on to around 4 a.m. all but Lexa were completely incapable of standing. Lexa set up Octavia and Luna on the couch, while placing Anya and Raven in Aden’s room, a decision she hoped she wouldn’t have to regret later considering the story of the gym mats earlier. Clarke was pretty far gone herself. She was sitting on the floor of the living room giggling at nothing. Lexa smiled at the newly bouncy blonde, then took one of her arms and lifted her up, placing it around her shoulders.

_“C’mon party girl, you’re gonna room with me tonight.”_ Lexa said as she slowly escorted Clarke to her bedroom.

_“Wait, wait but Lexie, we have to clean up.”_ Clarke slurred.

_“No worries mamabear, we’ll handle that in the morning.”_

As they entered Lexa’s room she closed the door with her foot then carefully laid Clarke onto her bed.

_“Okay, now would you like to stay in your clothes or do you wanna pair of mine to sleep in?”_

_“Yours. These are uncomfortable.”_

Lexa nodded.

Clarke watched as Lexa went into her drawers and started looking for something for her to wear. While she did so, Clarke sat up a bit, fighting the spinning in her head as best she could. _“Why did I let Raven talk me into drinking so much?”_ She groaned.

Lexa chuckled as she returned to the blonde and sat the change of clothes on the bed. _“Maybe you were trying to relive your glory days.”_ Lexa teased.

Clarke frowned. _“Shut up, don’t make me kick your ass too.”_

Lexa laughed then smiled as she raised her hands in surrender. _“Easy there, tiger. I’m just playing with you.”_

_“That’s right, you don’t wanna mess with me.”_

_“Sure thing commander of death.”_ Lexa chuckled. _“Now let me help you change.”_

Lexa held out both her hands, which Clarke took, and lifted her to her feet.

_“Shirt first then, yeah?”_

Clarke nodded.

_“Okay.”_ Lexa grabbed the hem of Clarke’s shirt, carefully pulling it up and over her head, dropping it on the floor. _“Alright, now the pants. Have a seat.”_

_“You no tell me what to do.” Clarke slurred._

_“Forgive me your highness.”_ Lexa playfully bowed _. “Can you please have a seat so I can assist you and taking off your uncomfortable pants?”_

_“Hmm, okay. I guesses so.”_

Lexa smiled at her with amusement _. “Alrighty then.”_

Clarke did as she was told by sitting down on the bed. Lexa unbuttoned and pulled down Clarke’s pants, she helped by lifting her hips up when asked. Once they were removed, Lexa assisted Clarke back onto her feet. For a moment, Clarke felt her cheeks burning as she realized her current predicament. She was standing in Lexa’s room, next to Lexa’s bed, in front of Lexa herself in only her matching blue underwear. The brunette seemed completely unfazed by the situation, just smiling politely at her, while Clarke was having a mini-freak out in her mind. **_‘Oh my god I’m naked. Well not technically naked, but very much not dressed. Am I dressed? Yeah, a little. Wow things are spinny.’_** Clarke’s onslaught of self-babbling was interrupted by Lexa’s voice.

_“Done, let’s get you all decent now shall we?”_ Lexa smiled at her with those soft, affectionate eyes; being a total gentlewoman to Clarke when most would probably feel less in cline to do so.

Clarke gave her a small smile and nodded, because words were just too difficult for her mind to handle at this point.

Lexa grabbed the basketball shorts she had picked out and helped Clarke put them on one foot at a time, then had Clarke lift her arms as she put on the tank top.   _“There we go. Sorry if the stuff is a little big on you, I tend to only wear baggy stuff to sleep.”_

Clarke shook her head. _“No, no. It’s okay. Very comfortable actually.”_ She smiled brightly at Lexa, her heart pounding like a stampede in her chest.

_“Good, now let’s get you to bed.”_

Lexa pulled the blanket back on her bed, then waited as Clarke climbed in and made herself comfortable. Lexa disappeared into the bathroom and changed out of her own clothes. Clarke was laying on her side and drifting off until she felt the bed dip beside her. She lifted her head and turned to see Lexa already tucking herself into the bed.

_“I apologize in advance if you wake up with me holding you.”_ Lexa said. _“I’m a bit of a snuggler. I usually find myself wrapped around the pillow you’re laying on in the mornings.”_

Clarke chuckled as the thought of Lexa holding her made her blush even deeper. _“I-it’s okay if you do. It’s your bed after all.”_

Lexa nodded. _“Cool, cool. Well go ahead and get some zzz’s. I’m pretty sure the lot of you will be very angry with ya life choices come tomorrow.”_

All Clarke could do was laugh. **_‘She’s probably right.’_** She made a personal note to throw everything that isn’t nailed to the floor at Raven tomorrow then laid her head down and within minutes she was fast asleep.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be longer, but I decided I wanted to break it up and let this one just be about fun. I guess you could consider it and building up filler chapter lol either way I hope you enjoyed it.   
> What did you think? Was it fun seeing Raven and the girls again? Were you entertained when Raven and Octavia decided to bring up a little of Clarke’s past? Were you surprised to find Clarke in bed with Lexa? Are you mad at me for building up on all the sexual tension they’ve got brewing? Tell me your thoughts.
> 
>  
> 
> Side note: I had a few comments about me using italics for the dialogue and inter thought sections. Does that style bother anyone else? Do you want me to change it? Honestly it’s the style of writing I prefer, and I know other people here use it too. Personally, it helps me with my vision problems so I don’t make as many grammar mistakes, but if it’s really an issue with people then I wanna try and address it as best I can. So please let me know if you are having a hard time with it.


	10. The Fault in Our Scars Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke’s POV. Lexa is struggling with another side of herself, and both deal with a slightly awkward moment.

Chapter 10: “The Fault in Our Scars Pt. 1”

Lexa stirs as a beaming light breaks through her curtains, deciding to make camp along her closed eyes. **_‘Whomever created the sun is a total asshole.’_** She thought to herself as she slowly opened her eyes. She was thankful that she didn’t have to endure a headache or stomach problems that she assumed the rest of her company probably would be experiencing this morning. Without notifying her friends, she’d watered down her drinks last night when she felt herself getting a little tipsy to avoid such issues. She was pretty sure Anya and Raven would end up being the worst of the bunch since both were so blacked out she had to literally carry them in her arms one by one into Aden’s room. There were some choice curse words from Anya when Lexa deliberately threw her into the bed just for kicks.

She was about to snicker at the thought until she realized she had been wrapped around the back of a snoozing Clarke. **_‘Oh shit!’_** She internally panicked as she felt the warmth of the woman beside her.

**_‘Fuck, I knew I should’ve bought that body pillow last week.’_** She sighs to herself. **_‘I gotta get off her before she wakes.’_** She slowly lifted her head, to see what movements she could make in order to not disturb the sleeping blonde.

She managed to lift herself up enough to prop herself on her elbow. As she gazed over Clarke’s body, she took note of the fact that Clarke had clasped Lexa’s hand and had it resting against her belly. Her bare belly to be exact. Lexa felt her face warming as she could feel Clarke’s skin under her fingertips. Creamy, soft skin; warm to the touch. Lexa’s breath hitched as she felt the blonde’s belly rising and falling against her hand. For some reason it gave her a calming effect, steadily soothing the anxiety she had felt a second ago. **_‘She feels so…good…’_** Clarke stirred a bit making Lexa’s eyes widen. **_‘Shit, she’s waking up.’_** But instead of waking, Clarke pushed her back further against Lexa’s front, buried her head deeper into the pillow, and clung even tighter to Lexa’s hand, proceeding to push it further up her shirt until it was only inches under her breasts as she got more comfortable within the fighters’ embrace.

Lexa’s throat dried and she felt a shiver race down her spine at the movements. **_‘Holy…fuck…’_** She gulped as tried to calm her throbbing heart, clinching her legs together as she felt heat rising in her own belly. Lexa looked at Clarke’s sleeping face and was awestruck at the sight. Long yellow curls cascaded along the length of her face, her eyelashes catching the rays of the sun and reflecting them along her cheek. Lexa couldn’t help the small smile that formed on her lips when she heard the light snores and saw tiny drops of drool on the pillow underneath her head.

**_‘She’s so…beautiful.’_** Before she could stop herself, she propped herself further on her elbow, then reached to delicately move a strand of Clarke’s hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear. The motion caused Clarke to let out a small breath, then she relaxed even further into the pillow.

Lexa was in trouble. Lexa knew she should be waking Clarke up, apologize to her for the predicament they were in and walk away to let the girl collect herself, but she couldn’t. She knew she should…but she simply didn’t want to. Her body refused to move from the spot it was in. Lexa could feel her primal instincts whispering tunes in her head.

**_‘Taste her skin. Touch her. Kiss her. Make her yours.’_** Lexa huffed.

**_‘Stop it.’_** That other side of Lexa, the one she personally referred to as _‘The Commander’_ , was crying out to her.

**_‘Taste her skin. Touch her. Kiss her. Make her yours.’_** Begging her to fall back into habits she’d recently suppressed since meeting the blonde and her son. More specifically, since she realized she had feelings for the woman in particular.

**_‘I can’t…she deserves better.’_** She argued with herself, doing her best to overpower her predatory desires.

She didn’t want to be that person anymore. The one that could have any woman she wanted, then discard them and have no care in the world of the damage she could leave behind. The one that tabloids and magazines dubbed _‘Playgirl Woods’_. The one who partied every single night, drank alcoholics under the table, cursed worse than a sailor out in public, threw her money around like it was never ending, and flirted with every pair of pretty legs that walked past her way. She’d found no joy in those acts anymore. No honor in that title anymore. No desire in having Clarke see her like that. Before Lexa knew it, the woman beside her had changed something in her. For a while she thought it was Aden who she owed that credit to. She thought she wanted to be a better role model for the boy and teach him respect and discipline. Which she did, none of that was untrue. But as she watched the sleeping beauty beside her, it was clear more than ever. **_‘It’s her…it’s always been her…’_**

Clarke was the one that awakened that need in her more than anything. More than anyone. The need to change. To be more than what she was taught to be. **_‘Someone…that maybe she could…’_** Lexa sighed. She couldn’t wrap her head around the exact moment of how or when these urges in her began to take root. It had only been such a short time that she’s spent with Clarke, a couple of months at most. But in that time she’d never felt so…at ease. All she knew was she wasn’t feeling to need to entertain that darker side of herself. She felt more willing to fight it, rather than be consumed by it. To limit its power to just in the ring than to be in every aspect of her life as she lived it.

**_‘What is…this feeling?’_** She wanted Clarke’s approval. She craved it in fact. Like a starved animal begging for an ounce of attention from its master. **_‘What have you done to me?’_** Lexa wondered as she tucked another stray strand of gold behind the cream of Clarke’s ear involuntarily. Then her eyes set on her lips. Those thin, luscious looking pink lips that made every smile she rewarded Lexa with unhinge the anchor that tethered Lexa’s heart to the ground. Making it flow blissfully with the wind and take wing with the birds of the sky. She wanted so badly to kiss her, even now as she lay asleep.

**_‘She’d never have to know.’_** Those dark whispers suggested.

She watched as Clarke readjusted again, forcing Lexa’s hand to steadily creep up the smoothness of her upper torso until her long fingers were nestled unbearably closely to the valley between Clarke’s breasts. Lexa’s body burned with desire as green eyes slowly darkened. **_‘Shit.’_** She felt her breathing becoming labored; her throat transforming into a desert, making her feel as if she were deprived of water for days…weeks; the steady blade of thirst cutting right through her very soul. She wanted her.

**_‘God how badly I’ve wanted her…’_** She thought. There had been a number of nights that golden hair and cerulean eyes haunted her dreams; making her hands go places that made her feel slightly ashamed at times.

**_‘Then take her.’_** Dark whispers in her head chuckled at her agony.

Her teeth clasped over her lower lip involuntarily. Seemingly without any control of her own, her fingers timidly curled. Her nails lightly scraping milky skin, causing the blonde to elicit an almost silent moan of pleasure. Most wouldn’t have heard it, but Lexa did. _‘The Commander’_ did.

**_‘Taste her skin. Touch her. Kiss her. Make her yours.’_** The mantra chanted louder in Lexa’s head. She began to lower eyes, it’s target being the pink glistening lips below her.

**_‘No, stop.’_** The battle between the angels and demons within Lexa fought vigorously. Swords clashing in a battle to the death; her desires circulating like blood in her veins; that familiar itch burning into her skin; her mind bouncing between her better nature and her growling insanity. Her body was pushing forward without her permission. She needed to stop, she knew this, but she a part of her didn’t want to.

**_‘Taste her skin. Touch her. Kiss her. Make her yours.’_** The Commander called out.

Lexa’s breath breezed along Clarke’s ear, resulting in another moan to escape her sleeping form.

**_‘Stop, this isn’t you. This isn’t right.’_ **

Lexa felt herself hesitating.

**_‘You know you want to.’_ **

Her chest heaved, rising and falling.

**_‘You shouldn’t!’_ **

The green and black of her eyes fought for dominance.

**_‘Take Her!’_ **

Lexa licked her cracking lips like a dog preparing to devour a feast.

**_‘SHE WOULD NEVER FORGIVE YOU!’_ **

Lexa stopped.

‘ ** _She would never forgive you for taking advantage of her.’_** The sane voice in her head pleaded.

  ** _‘You would become the screw up they always told you that you were.’_** Green swallowed the remaining black of her eyes, as she felt her conscience taking over. **_‘You don’t hurt the people you care about.’_** Her better judgment coming back into play. **_‘No, I don’t want her to see me like that.’_** She uses all of her will power to pull herself back. Her lips lightly graze the skin of Clarke’s forehead.

**_‘Maybe…that could be enough. Friends do that don’t they?’_** She resolved to a silent agreement, and placed a light kiss upon Clarke’s head. **_‘This is enough. It has to be.’_**

Once Lexa fully pulls her head back away from Clarke, she makes an effort to break away completely. Her fingers gently skimming down, then away from Clarke’s soft belly; her legs untangling themselves from the grip of Clarke’s smooth ones. The heat in her lower belly hadn’t let up, and she could feel the wetness building in her boxer briefs as her nose was being assaulted by the scent of Clarke in her room; uncontainable desire screaming through her every pour. **_‘I need to deal with this, and I can’t while I’m so close to her.’_** Lexa manages to free herself from Clarke’s grasp, and subtly swings her legs off of the bed. Once her feet plant themselves onto the floor and she’s at the edge in a seated position, she rests her elbows on her knees, curls herself over and leans her head into her hands. Cursing herself under her breath for almost giving into the weakness of her primal instincts.

**_‘I never want to take advantage of Clarke. She’s too…too important. I can’t lose this. I can’t lose her because of this fucking attraction I have.’_** She mentally scolds herself. But the fact still remained that she somewhat touched Clarke inappropriately and kissed her forehead, all without her consent. And now she had a burning urge in her lower area begging for attention. **_‘Fuck.’_** She scratched her nails in her scalp and took a deep breath. **_‘Go woods.’_** She commanded herself and slowly rose off the bed.

Just as she managed to make it to her bathroom door, a familiar voice called out to her.

_“Lex…?”_

**_‘…shit.’_ **

*******

Clarke slowly started to wake from her slumber when she felt the bed shift beneath her. She opened her eyes a bit then heard soft footsteps, making her turn around. She saw Lexa making her way away from the bed towards the door.

_“Lex…?”_ She called out to the brunette whom stopped almost immediately and sighed low as she did.

_“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, Clarke.”_ Lexa answered in a strange tone, which didn’t go unnoticed; her back to the blonde.

Even from behind she could see Lexa’s head lowered and her shoulders slouching a bit. **_‘Something’s wrong.’_** Clarke concluded. _“It’s fine. Is everything alright?”_

Lexa still hadn’t turned around as she spoke, _“Yeah, everything’s fine.”_

_“My ass it is.”_ Clarke said bluntly as she rose off the bed and laid herself against the headboard.

Lexa chuckled at her words then finally turned her head towards the blonde; Lexa’s expression playful. _“Your ass is rather fine I must admit.”_ Lexa joked and smirked slyly.

Clarke shook her head, **_‘Smooth Lex, real smooth.’_** But couldn’t help the slight smile that fought its way onto her face as she tried her best to be serious. The brunette always seemed to have that effect on her. _“I appreciate the compliment, but don’t change the subject.”_ She patted her hand against the side of the bed Lexa had previously been sleeping on. _“C’mere.”_ She spoke softly.

Lexa hesitated for a second then complied with Clarke’s request, seating herself on the bed.

_“Tell me what’s wrong. Did something bad happen last night while we were all drunk?”_

_“Correction. You guys were all drunk and I was pleasantly entertained.”_ Lexa chuckled. _“It was interesting getting to know Party Girl Griffin.”_

Clarke’s eyes widened and her face warmed at the remark. **_‘Shit, I was hoping she wouldn’t remember that.’_** Clarke slapped a hand over her face and groaned. _“I’m going to kill Raven and Octavia.”_

_“All coming back to you now huh?”_ Lexa teased with a smug look on her face _. “You really like singing off pitched versions of Whitney Houston songs.”_

_“Shut up.”_ Clarke glared at her. She’d been told numerous times in the past by her friends that she fancied herself a mega popstar when she was completely inebriated. But that was a topic for another time. _“And stop changing the subject.”_ Clarke spoke sternly as she crossed her arms over her chest, making the smug look Lexa was sporting completely wipe from her face.

Clarke knew Lexa well enough at this point to know that she tries to shift conversations when she has something weighing on her mind. The brunette wasn’t as skillful or subtle about it as she thought she was, at least not with Clarke, and she knew the only way that Lexa would get better was if she forced her to just speak her mind. The fighter was a stubborn one though, but so was Clarke. There was a moment a few weeks ago when Lexa was feeling down, but every time someone tried to get her to talk, she’d brush it off like it was nothing and made jokes that had others laughing and forgetting about it, but it hadn’t fooled Clarke. Instead Clarke had made Lexa join her on the porch outside her house and offered her ear to listen. When Lexa tried to derail the conversation Clarke gave her the ‘don’t kid yaself’ look which eventually got her to confess that she was feeling guilty about letting herself get caught in that armbar by Monroe in her last fight. She felt like she let Gustus down since that was something he stressed her about not falling into when they had been training previously for it. Clarke gave her a comforting pep talk that made her feel a lot better about everything in the end. **_‘It was so cute how she smiled at me afterwards.’_** She thought to herself.

_“I’m just tired is all.”_ Lexa replied with an obviously fake yawn. _“Was one hell of a ladies’ night last night.”_ She gave a small smile.

Clarke raised her brow and pursed her lips. Lexa could try as hard as she wanted, but Clarke knew her Achilles heel. _“Lexa Woods. If you don’t tell me what’s going on right this very second, I’m no longer going to feed you again at any point in the future.”_

Lexa looked at her with horror and disbelief. When Clarke’s glare remained, Lexa sighed in defeat. _“Alright, alright. Easy there mamabear. No need to drag out the big guns now.”_ Lexa combed her fingers through her brown mane before she continued. _“I just…I just feel bad.”_

_“Feel bad about what?”_ Clarke cocked a brow.

_“I think I crossed a bit of a line.”_

Clarke looked at her with a puzzled expression, not fully understanding what the other woman was referring to. _“What line?”_

Lexa sighed then looked Clarke in the eye with guilt pouring from her own. _“I woke up with my body wrapped around you this morning. I don’t know if you remember but I told you last night I was a snuggler, but even so I feel bad because not only was a holding onto you, but you had a hold on my hand…”_ Lexa averted her eyes to anywhere that Clarke wasn’t. _“…and you had pulled my hand up to the point where it was laying in between your…”_ Her voice started to trail off a bit and her face showed signs of flustering. _“…b-between your, um, breasts…”_

Clarke’s eyes widened at the confession. **_‘Oh shit. Did I really…? Oh my god that’s so embarrassing.’_** Clarke felt her own face warming as she pictured how the scene must have looked. Never had she thought she’d be capable of doing anything like that, especially not in her sleep.

Lexa lowered her head like a child preparing to be scolded. _“…I was so in shock I had no idea what to do so I kinda just kept it there.”_

Clarke ran her fingers through her own hair this time, frustrated that she put Lexa in this position. She couldn’t blame the woman, it’s not every day a friend takes your hand hostage and basically makes you grope them. Being put in a state of shock in that moment is probably something she’d do herself if she was really honest. She was about to speak when Lexa continued to say something.

_“I eventually was able to move my hand away…but I also had kissed your forehead…”_ If Lexa’s head could go any lower, she was sure it would be buried beneath the floor.

**_‘She did what…?’_** Clarke looked at her with confused and questioning eyes. _“You…you kissed my forehead?”_

Lexa said nothing, only nodded and continued to tether her eyes to the bed beneath them.

Clarke wasn’t mad about it honestly. Mostly she was just curious, so she decided to ask. _“But...why?”_

Lexa fidgeted her fingers with the blankets then took a quick breath before answering. _“Because…”_ She paused for a second. _“…because it was the first time I had actually slept through a night peacefully in years. I guess I was just feeling grateful for having you there and just acted on it.”_ She replied honestly.

Clarke felt flattered by the comment. **_‘That’s so sweet.’_** She thought to herself. _“Awee Lex, I get that. There’s no reason for you to feel ashamed of that.”_

_“Really?”_ Lexa questioned as she raised her head and green eyes met blue.

Clarke nodded and gave her a genuine smile. _“I don’t feel you took advantage of me at all honestly. I think you being in shock was more on point than any other reaction you could have had. I’m not even sure I know what I’d have done in that situation.”_ Clarke half lied. **_‘Yes you do. You would have tried to touch her even more if given the opportunity.’_** Clarke would never admit to something like that though. Yes, Clarke secretly harbored desires of her own for the woman beside her, but she’d never act on them. Not without there actually being something between them. Otherwise it wouldn’t be right.

**_‘But now’s not the time to be thinking about that.’_** Clarke instructed herself. This was her friend, and her friend was trying to respect her boundaries, she needed to do the same, and she would. _“As for the kiss on my head, I think that was very nice of you. I think we’ve grown close enough to this point that something like that wouldn’t be weird or unfounded between us. Do you disagree? Would it have bothered you if roles were reversed?”_ She asked with genuine curiosity.

Lexa shook her head. _“No, I agree with you. And I honestly wouldn’t be bothered by that if you had done it to me.”_

_“Good, then stop being a worry wart. You’re in the clear Lex.”_ Clarke smiled and placed a reassuring hand on Lexa’s shoulder.

Lexa visibly relaxed and smiled back. _“Awesome, I’m really happy to hear that.”_

Clarke couldn’t deny she was slightly amused by this entire thing. To think, this brooding badass fighter she’d come to befriend had been a snuggler was one thing, and now seeing Lexa so appreciative over something so simple as a good nights’ rest, then fumbling around an awkward situation just because it was all with her was rather endearing to say the least. It only made the blonde in awe of her even more. Lexa’s many layers were peeling back more and more in front of her, and with each reveal Clarke couldn’t deny her attraction was bordering on the lines of unmanageable at this point.

Part of her was wishing she’d been awake to feel Lexa’s hand visiting the valley of her breasts (even though that seemed to be Clarke’s unconscious doing) and more importantly to feel this kiss of gratitude the brunette had bestowed upon her. The feel of Lexa’s lips against her head, she wanted to know it; what it felt like. She wanted to be sure if her imagination had been on the mark or far off in the clouds. Her mind was swimming with wonder, and body burned with excitement. It was undeniable the effects the fighter had on her. **_‘Stop it Clarke, that’s not something you should be getting into at this very moment.’_**

Now that the air between them had been cleared and Lexa seemed more calm and relaxed, Clarke was going to ask Lexa what she wanted for breakfast, **_‘I figure that’s the could do since we all basically took over her home last night.’_** She thought, but then another question came to her mind as watched as Lexa had begun to stand again, making her way towards the door, and Clarke’s eyes raked over her body. **_‘Oh, that’s right.’_**

She called out to the brunette, _“Lex, wait.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for the gap between updates. Life has kept me very busy so it was hard finding time to write. This was supposed to be long as hell, but I didn’t want to do that because I felt like it had the potential to be two chapters rather than one ridiculously long one. This chapter by itself is already over 4,000 words so I felt like it was more than enough lol Tell me what you think so far. I’m always looking forward to feedback. And I’m currently working on part 2 so it should be up very soon as well. As always, thank you and comments give me life!


	11. “The Fault in Our Scars Pt. 2”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke’s POV. Picks up where the last one left off. Lexa shares some things from their past. There’s gonna be quite a bit of angst in this one, but some fluff towards the end. **TW: for those whom have had to deal with loss.

Chapter 11: “The Fault in Our Scars Pt. 2”

_“Lex, wait.”_

Lexa had just begun to take hold of the door knob when she was stopped by the sound of Clarke’s voice. She slightly turned her body to face the blonde and cocked her head sideways. _“What’s up mamabear?”_

_“I like your tattoos.”_ Clarke answered with a small smile.

Lexa’s eyes widened as she looked down, completely not noticing the fact that she had only been walking around in a sports bra and her boxer briefs. She looked over to the side of her bed and saw the large shirt she had originally put on last night was now laying on the floor. **_‘Shit, I must’ve taken my shirt off in the middle of the night.’_** She concluded.

It was sufficed to say that Lexa was not used to having sleepovers, let alone anyone else in her own bed or her room. Last night a part of her had suggested not letting the blonde share her bed with her, but it didn’t feel right to force her on a cot in the living room or in the room with Anya and Raven. Plus, she was well aware that Clarke wasn’t a morning person, so Lexa was sure she’d wake way before Clarke did since she usually did her morning runs every day, but to her inconvenience things played out differently this particular morning. **_‘Dammit.’_**

_“Lex?”_

Lexa was snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the familiar voice. She looked up to see Clarke staring at her. Blue eyes blooming with concern and confusion. Lexa hadn’t realized she’d been quiet long enough to raise suspicion, but she tried to put on a mask of calmness and smiled. _“Sorry, yeah, thank you.”_ Even to her that sounded off.

Clarke seemed to pick up on it too. _“I’m sorry I hadn’t commented on them in the past, I can’t believe I never noticed them before. The scars too.”_

Lexa flinched at the last words. **_‘Fuck, of course she saw them too.’_** Lexa’s shoulders tensed and she fought the urge to clench her fists. She moved her eye contact away from Clarke as she replied, _“No, you’re fine. Most people don’t know about my tattoos or…”_ Her words caught in her throat for a second. She swallowed then continued. _“…or my scars.”_ Lexa could feel her heart rate steadily increasing as a sudden feeling of unpleasantness took root in her chest. She slowly inhaled and exhaled, doing her best not to draw so much attention to herself.

Clarke furrowed her brows then asked, _“How come?”_

Lexa had two choices here: to lie or to tell the truth. If she lied, there would be the possibility that Clarke didn’t believe her then get mad at her for lying. If she told the truth, then she would have to disclose information about herself that she liked to keep private, but it  could also open the door to a possibility of Clarke and herself bonding further. She chose the latter.

_“I keep both covered at all times with this special concealer cream that a friend makes for me. It blends in with my skin perfectly to hide them and doesn’t wash off unless I use a specific type of solvent.”_ Lexa hadn’t meant to giveaway that much information, part of her wanted to play dumb and make the blonde think she actually did just not notice them before in the past. **_‘But I can’t seem to lie…not to her.’_**

Clarke placed both her hands in her lap and went into what looked like a deep thought process. It was obvious that she’d taken note of the change in Lexa’s body language, but Clarke seemed as if she was trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation. After a brief moment Clarke looked at Lexa with a calm expression and she spoke again, _“Why do you cover them up?”_

Lexa did not want to have this conversation. She wanted to just brush it off and act as if it was nothing important. Just move on and be as if this never happened. **_‘Who am I kidding? Clarke would never let me get away with that in a million years.’_**

Lexa was always one to keep certain aspects of her life hidden, as far as she was concerned no one really needed to know the details of her background. Magazine interviewers and paparazzi had tried time and time again with no success. Truth be told her tattoos and scars weren’t just for decoration, they told her story. The brutality of her autobiography; one she did not like to share if it wasn’t necessary. Of course Anya and Luna knew everything, they were there. They were a part of it. Gustus and Kane knew most of it, while Ryder knew some, but as far as she was concerned the rest of the world didn’t need to know a thing about her past. Her nightly conquests never got to see them because everything that was done was in the dark; not to mention the cream she used was very good at doing its work, and she made sure it was applied every morning before she left the house, as it lasted 24 hour periods at a time. But in order for Clarke to know the answer to her question of why she kept her tattoos and scars a secret, she needed to know the details of her past. And for some reason Lexa couldn’t find it in herself to shut Clarke out from the truth. **_‘This was bound to happen at some point.’_**

Once Lexa came to her conclusion, she walked back towards the bed and sat down beside Clarke; her back and head leaning against the headboard, one leg stretched outward while the other was tucked under her. She took a deep breath then turned to face Clarke head on. **_‘You can do this.’_** Her eyes filled with determination to finally let someone in. **_‘To let her in.’_** She cleared her throat and spoke, _“I cover them up because I don’t want anyone to see or ask about them.”_ She stated plainly.

Clarke nodded. _“Okay I can respect that. Do you want me to stop asking about them now?”_

Lexa shook her head.

Clarke nodded then continued her questioning. _“Were they something stupid you did in your teenage years and you’re just ashamed of them?”_

Lexa chuckled at the question but shook her head. _“No.”_

Clarke searched her face for a moment and Lexa could tell she was getting a hint of her discomfort with the topic. Clarke took one of Lexa’s hands in hers, caressing it gently to soothe her nerves and said, _“You know we really don’t have to talk about this Lex. I have no problem leaving it as is and just letting you get back to whatever it was that you were doing. It’s fine, really.”_ Clarke gave her a warm smile to show her there were indeed no hard feelings.

Lexa’s heart skipped at the feel of Clarke’s touch against her skin and felt comforted by the fact that she was willing to give her an out, something she was definitely not expecting. **_‘This woman is full of surprises.’_** Lexa thought and felt herself becoming even more at ease with the idea of sharing her experiences with the woman beside her. _“No, I want to talk about it.”_ **_‘I want to talk about it, with you.’_**

Clarke nodded in understanding then took both their hands into her lap, keeping with the soothing motion; she squeezed Lexa’s hand lightly, signaling to Lexa that she was ready and willing to listen.

_“The tattoos I got over time.”_ Lexa started, then with her free hand pointed to her right shoulder. _“The one on my shoulder I got when I was 18. Wolves are my favorite animals and some old dude I met on the street prior had told me I had the spirit of one. That the wolf had symbolized strength, loyalty, free spirit, and determination. All those traits were things I thought of myself and things I hoped to accomplish, so I thought it’d be cool to have one there.”_

Clarke chuckled. _“Can’t say I disagree with that either. You are all those things…and more Lexa.”_ Clarke’s eyes were painted with admiration as she looked back at the fighter beside her, then added, _“Plus, wolves are very cool and I could totally picture you running in a forest somewhere with them.”_

Lexa gave a small smile at the comment which made Clarke smile too. **_‘If she keeps talking like that, it’s going to make not kissing her that much harder to do.’_** Lexa thought to herself.

_“And that one?”_ Clarke pointed the one on her side. _“What’s the story there?”_

_“That one I got when I was 19. It was supposed to symbolize the open wounds I walk through life with. The battles I’ve had to survive...”_ Lexa’s voice started to fade a bit. _“…the choices I had to make…”_ She inhaled then exhaled. _“…they’re the claw marks that never fade away. Things I’ll have to live with every single day. Things I should probably try to forget, but instead keep them on the surface so that I always remember, because they are a part of me…they made me who I am today.”_ Lexa’s expression turned slightly heavier at that confession.

Clarke nodded. _“We’ve all got some of those that we carry; battles, decisions, and whatnot. So it makes sense to me, more than you know.”_ Lexa noticed Clarke’s voice trail a way on that last bit, then she shook her head and continued with her normal tone. _“It’s very tragic and yet beautiful at the same time. Helps that it also makes you look even more badass too.”_ She said in an attempt to lighten the apparent weight on Lexa’s shoulders.

Which it did. _“Yeah, I would say that is a definite flip side. Thank you Ms. Griffin.”_ Lexa teased, knowing how much Clarke hated when people referred to her in that way, and smirked.

Clarke let go of their held hands and lightly punched her shoulder and they both chuckled. _“Eww, never call me that. Makes me sound so old.”_

Lexa raised her hands in surrender. _“Alright, alright mamabear it is.”_

Both laughed a little more before Clarke continued. _“There’s one on your back too, but that one I didn’t really get the best look at. What is it?”_

Lexa took a moment to close her eyes and sighed a bit. **_‘This one’s the kicker.’_** She inwardly reminded herself. She looked upwards at the ceiling before she looked back to Clarke. _“The claw mark on my side trails into that one. Give me a second and I’ll give you a better look at it.”_

***

She watched as Lexa turned her body so that her back was facing Clarke. Lexa pulled the sports bra over her head but kept it on so that her front was still covered. The motion made it possible for Clarke to see her full back and the entirety of the tattoo. She gasped as she eyed the designs that lay before her. **_‘Oh…my…’_**

The designs on her back were expertly crafted, Clarke could tell whomever brought it to life on Lexa’s skin was secretly a genius in their own right. There was a heart with a slightly broken infinity symbol wrapped around it on the joining area of her neck and back. The heart colored blood red and the infinity in silver. Below it there were two sets of large wings spread from shoulder to shoulder that took up the entire top half of her back; the trail from the claw mark on Lexa’s side had led into the one on her right. Each grayish feather within them curved with etiquette detail, while the wings themselves were painted in black; but they were shaped as if they were meant to be worn like a mask or war paint over a person’s eyes. It commanded authority and basked with a deniable beauty. Underneath were seven medium sized dark circles with small white twinkles randomly placed within them. The circles were leading downward along her spine, somehow plotting an unknown path which led into a green colored forest that was on the lower part of her back. The forest was rich and vast, like something you’d see in professional photographs. The tattoo pattern as a whole seemed to be trying to portray a story that Clarke was beyond eager to hear.

_“Oh…my…god…it’s so…so beautiful.”_ Clarke’s fingers suddenly burned with the desire to trace every line embedded in Lexa’s skin. She’d seen many tattoos in her lifetime, but nothing had evoked emotion from her the way this one did. The artist in her was applauding the exquisiteness of this imaginative wonder before her; while the woman in her was more turned on by it than she had ever thought possible by a mire tattoo. But that was just it. It wasn’t just a tattoo. There was a tale to be told here, and she wanted to know. She was aching to know.

_“Wow Lexa…”_ Clarke swallowed to moisten her parched throat. _“...I’ve never seen anything like this before. Why…”_ She stopped and rethought the question she wanted to ask. _“…what is this one about?”_

Lexa smirked at Clarke’s look of bewilderment, then said, _“This one I got when I was 20, just before mu debut. I designed it personally, because it is very personal to me.”_ She put her bra back into place and faced Clarke again. _“It’s about…I-it’s…”_ Lexa’s head lowered as she struggled to get the words out.

Clarke could see a sadness developing in her eyes that she’d never seen before. There was so much pain spreading across the emeralds in her eyes; Clarke didn’t like it. Without any control of her own she rested her palm along Lexa’s cheek and used her thumb to tenderly stroke against the softness there. She could feel Lexa calm into the touch almost immediately, rubbing her face into it as if it were sheltering her from whatever it was that pained her. Clarke gave her a sincere smile and said, _“Take your time. I’m here Lex.”_  

Lexa nodded against her hand then spoke again, _“The wings represent my parents, one for each of them. As I’ve mentioned in the past they both died, but I never told you or Aden how they died…I haven’t really told anyone to be honest…”_

Clarke delicately stroked her thumb against Lexa’s cheek again to reminder her that she was still there for her then removed her hand from the brunette’s cheek.

Lexa smiled at the gesture and continued, _“My mother died in childbirth, I never got to meet her really. My father told me that she got to see me and held me for a few moments before she died of complications. He said she had a suddenly massive heart attack that the doctors couldn’t save her from. He told me she was the one who came up with my name and how her last words to me were that she loved me.”_

Clarke felt tears welling up in her eyes as she could see the raw emotion pouring itself out from Lexa as she told her story. She could feel her pain and was saddened that Lexa never got the chance to really experience what it was like to have a mother. Something Clarke herself always took for granted in her teen years. **_‘I’ve got to remember to call mom and tell her I love her.’_** She mentally registered to herself.

After a moment Lexa continued, _“My father…”_ Lexa cleared her throat. _“…my father raised me on his own for seven years after that. We were very close, and he was good to me. He took me places, never denied me anything I wanted if he could, and told me so many stories of his life experiences. Stories of him and my mother, how they met. He had to raise me alone because both their families were opposed to their relationship since they were biracial. He was black and Hispanic, whilst she was white. They grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere so ignorance and discrimination were an everyday part of life for them, but that didn’t stop them from loving each other…”_ Lexa’s eyes cast downward but a small smile played on her lips at the memory. _“...I still remember him telling me how my mother and I were like the forest in his eyes. Strong, youthful, wise beyond our years. I inherited my eye color from her. He said I looked more and more like her every day, and that he’d always be there for me…always protect me…but there were some things even he could not control…”_ Lexa’s smile faded as she said those last words.

Clarke was smiling when Lexa spoke of her father, **_‘He sounds like he was an incredible man.’_** , but once she sensed the change in Lexa’s body language, she prepared herself for what was to come.

_“We were on our way home from a football game. The Giants were playing and my dad was a huge fan of them so, ‘It was an experience that could never be passed up.’, I remember him saying. We were only two blocks away from home when these guys came out of nowhere trying to rob us. My father fought them off as much as he could, and he was really laying into them, they didn’t stand a chance honestly. But then one of the guys pulled out a knife and stabbed him…”_ Lexa’s voice started to crack. _“…I remember counting them as I watched…one…two…three…four…four times he put the blade in my father’s chest before he finally fell to the ground…”_ A tear ran down Lexa’s eye as she recounted the story. _“…once they took all of our stuff, I held onto him. I laid my head on his chest, clutching onto his bloody clothes and called out to him, ‘dad…dad…please don’t leave me…’, he looked at me and caressed my cheek and told me he was sorry before he died, holding me in his arms...I still remember as I listened to his heart slowly stop beating against my ear…four beats…just like the wounds he had, and then it was gone.”_

Lexa sniffled a few times and shook her head. Clarke assumed she was trying her hardest to not let her emotions show too much, but she could see it, she felt, she knew it. That pain of losing a father. Especially one whom you were close to. **_‘I know how she feels.’_** Memories of her own father started to flood her mind, but she fought them back. **_‘This is not about you right now.’_** She told herself. **_‘Lexa needs you.’_**   

That confession told Clarke that Lexa took a huge step in trusting and confiding in her. **_‘I know how hard that is for you.’_** With that Clarke threw off the covers she had over her legs and moved towards Lexa. She straddled Lexa’s hips and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck, pulling the brunette’s head into her shoulder so that she was cradling Lexa’s head; running her fingers through the long brown mane of the woman in her hands.

***

Lexa was shocked in the moment. **_‘What…what is she doing?’_** She hadn’t expected Clarke to do what she was doing right now. Lexa wasn’t one for being touched, at least not like this. Clarke was trying to comfort her, and to say it wasn’t working would be a lie. After a few seconds of hesitation Lexa finally gave into the affectionate gesture. She wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist, engulfing herself in the warmth of the other woman. She buried her head into Clarke’s neck; her senses being ravaged by the scent of the pureness that was Clarke. Before she knew it, she found herself completely relaxing into the embrace; a comfortable silence surrounding them as they held one another.

The silence was broken when Clarke spoke, _“I understand now. The wings are your parents. The heart with the infinity sign above it represents the unconditional love they had for you and one another. The circles are for each year you got to spend with your father. And the forest symbolizes what he used to think of you and your mother…I get it now…I see that story…and it’s beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking.”_

Clarke’s words struck a cord within Lexa. **_‘She understands…she gets it…’_** Lexa felt so overwhelmed that she broke down for the first time in a long time. She held Clarke even closer into her arms, her nails practically digging through her shirt into her skin, as the fighter sobbed into Clarke’s neck.

Clarke responded by clutching Lexa even harder, never letting go for a second. _“It’s okay. You’re okay.”_

Lexa had managed to harden herself to the pain of losing her parents for so long, but in this moment everything she’d ever buried deep down inside of her and ran away from came flooding out of her like a tidal wave, plundering everything in its path. She’d never felt so much emotion in her life, so vulnerable. And now she had this woman here, this angel by her side, guiding her through it every step of the way.

_“Clarke…”_ She spoke brokenly through sobs.

_“Shhh, shhh. Just let it out Lex. I’m not going anywhere.”_ Clarke whispered softly in her ear.

And so, she did.

After what seemed like an eternity, Lexa had finally calmed down. She slowly broke away from Clarke’s embrace enough so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. Lexa’s heart pounded in her chest as tear filled cerulean blues gazed at hers with compassion, adoration and tranquility. Shrouding her with a peace of mind she’d never felt before. She felt inferior to the power they held, and yet secure in bestowing trust in them. In one conversation Clarke had become her confidant, and her weakness all at the same time. For the first time in her life, Lexa felt like she had someone she could truly bare herself to.

As Clarke gave her a benevolent smile, Lexa was transfixed; completely taken under the spell of blondes’ magic which made the brooding fighter like puttie in her hands. Lexa’s eyes wandered down to the luscious, pink lips of the older woman sitting in her lap and being held in her arms. **_‘Just once…just one time…maybe…’_** She thought as she tightened her hold around the soft, wide hips in her grasp. Clarke’s breath hitched and her eyes wandered to Lexa’s lips as she felt herself being pulled closer into the brunette’s lap.

Lexa looked to Clarke’s eyes, her lips, then back to her eyes again as she pulled her closer and one of her hands began to ride up under Clarke’s shirt onto the small of her back. The wetness between Lexa’s legs returning as her coarse, jaded hands came into contact with sumptuous, silky skin. Lexa felt, more than she heard Clarke’s breath quickening. Lexa could sense her eyes growing hungry as they looked down to see Clarke’s lip slightly parted. **_‘She feels this too. She has to…how could she not?’_**

Lexa used the hand on Clarke’s back and arm around her waist to pull her impossibly closer to the point where their noses were only inches apart. The air between them shared on an even field.

_“Lex…”_ Clarke practically whispered, her nails now digging into Lexa’s shoulders. The pleasurable pain stoking the fire already burning in Lexa’s belly.

**_‘Take her.’_** Lexa heard a voice in her head say.

**_‘Make her yours.’_** Oh how Lexa wanted that, but should she?

Lexa couldn’t fight it anymore, the pull she had to this woman. Not in this position. Not now. So she pulled Clarke closer…closer…both their eyes fluttering closed…their noses just grazing…

*BANG BANG*

Both Clarke and Lexa jumped as they held the banging at the door. Clarke landed back on her side of the bed, while Lexa stood up straight like a soldier waiting on the command of her lieutenant.

_“Clarke! Your mom is here with Aden!”_ Octavia said from the other side of the door.

_“Okay! Okay! Give me a second. Tell him to wait in the kitchen for me.”_ Clarke replied with a slightly cracked voice as she tried to calm her breathing.

_“You got it Princess.”_ Octavia responded followed by the sound of her footsteps waking away from the door.

**_‘Holy shit.’_** Lexa thought to herself as she tried to get a handle on her own heartbeat. **_‘I…I almost kissed her...fuck!’_** She cleared her throat then turned to the blonde whom was putting on her clothes on the other side of the room. **_‘Anya and Luna are gonna have a field day when I tell them about this.’_**

Lexa shook her head and chuckled as she ran her fingers through her hair. _“S-so, um, I’m gonna go ahead to the bathroom and, uh, get myself decent.”_

Clarke chuckled and nodded _. “Yeah, I completely forgot I texted my mom last night to bring Aden here in the morning. How responsible of me to over sleep and look like a complete mess in front of my son.”_

_“Well at least you look like a hot complete mess. You could have just looked like total shit after all the shots you threw down last night.”_ Lexa teased and laughed as Clarke gasped and threw a pillow at her.

_“Asshole!”_

_“Yeahh, but you know you like it.”_ Lexa smirked.

_“Whatever, dick.”_ She said as she tried to fight the smile forming on her face.

Lexa nodded, picked up the pillow and placed it back on the bed, then made her way to the bathroom for what felt like the 20th time this morning.

_“Hey, Lex.”_

Lexa stopped then turned to look at Clarke. _“Hmm?”_

_“Thank you…you know, for sharing with me.”_ Clarke spoke shyly.

Lexa gave her an affectionate smile and said, _“No, thank you for listening, and being okay with letting me make a complete fool of myself in front of you via crying like a little bitch.”_

_“I don’t think you made a fool of yourself at all. It takes a lot of strength to let yourself cry. Especially with or around another person. I’m honored to have been that such person.”_

Lexa felt a warmth envelop in her chest at Clarke’s words. It was baffling how the blonde made her feel good about herself, even when it came to things she’d always seen as something weak. **_‘Clarke really is special.’_** She thought to herself before she spoke, _“You’re a great woman, Clarke. I hope you know that.”_ Lexa smiled as she saw what looked like blushing cheeks on the other woman’s face.

_“Okay, thank you.”_ Clarke aid shyly. _“And I do still want to hear about your scars…we never got to talk about those.”_

Lexa stiffened and felt a twitch of pain spike through her heart at the reminder. _“Yeahh…let’s save that one for another day.”_

_“You promise?”_

Lexa nodded, _“I promise.”_ She said honestly.

Clarke nodded. Now fully dressed, she made her way towards the door to the hall but stopped for a second. _“For what it’s worth…I don’t think you should hide you scars and tattoos. They’re fascinating…just like you. Maybe someday…I hope, you’ll feel safe enough to share them with the rest of the world.”_ And with those last words Clarke smiled at Lexa then turned and left the room.

Lexa could feel the throbbing in her chest, courtesy of one Clarke Griffin; they rang strong and true, ripping right through her very being. **_‘Maybe someday…’_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was it? How did you feel hearing a bit of Lexa’s backstory? Were you able to see a picture of her tattoos? Did the symbolisms make sense? Are you curious about the scars? Did you wanna punch me for the almost kiss? Please, please do tell. Thank you as always, and remember, your comments keep this story going. Hope to have the next update up soon.


	12. “The Master and The Apprentice”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa’s POV. Lexa has a training session with Aden. Some MMA fighting with a mix of parental fluff and a lovely surprise at the end. Enjoy!

Chapter 12: “The Master and The Apprentice”

_“That the best ya got kid?”_ Lexa said sternly as she blocked the right hook Aden just threw at her. _“C’mon, you can do better than that.”_

Aden takes a step forward and throws a combination of right and left jabs, each blocked expertly by Lexa. When those don’t work, he decides to switch up different combinations with his fists and kicks, testing the waters to see if he could get an opening through the fighters’ intense defensive position. The boy’s speed and instincts were beyond what Lexa had ever imagined. For a while now she had felt that potential lay dormant inside the young man, and after the last two weeks of training with him it was becoming more and more clearer that Lexa’s intuition was on point. **_‘The kids’ a natural.’_** She smirked to herself as she moved along with him. She catches one of his arms and judo flips him onto the mat.

_“Better, but I wanna see more movement in your feet! You think all your opponents are gonna just stand there and let you take shots at them?”_

_“No, Commander.”_ Aden spoke while taking deep breaths and rising back to his feet.

_“Right, then come at me again.”_

Aden shakes his arms out a bit before they both take their stances. Aden starts to shuffle on his feet a bit, moving side to side, throwing a series of left and right jabs. Lexa focuses on blocking his attacks while moving in time with him. Aden fakes to the right then quickly moves to the left to throw a hook which almost hits Lexa on her cheek. **_‘That was impressive, he’s learning.’_** She keeps her eyes locked on him while he continues to move and box with her. Lexa is hunched over to match his shorter size, but barely allows him any opportunity to take advantage. Aden makes a few attempts at low kicks, each one she uses her legs to check them and force him to try new approaches. He goes for a middle kick to her abdomen, which she blocks, but Aden capitalizes by following it up with a left hook that just barely scrapes Lexa’s chin. Lexa uses the moment though to grapple Aden and slam him to the mat with a thud.

_“Umph.”_ Aden exhales as his back and the mat below become acquainted for what feels like the millionth time this week.

Lexa releases him then stands up over him with a smile. _“Not bad little man. Gotta say I wasn’t expecting that punch of yours.”_

_“Yeah, but I hardly made contact.”_ He says in a somewhat disappointed tone from his spot on the ground. _“I was aiming for your cheek, but got your chin instead.”_

_“And that moment of allowing your emotions to show is how I was able to get you where you are now.”_ Lexa explained with a smirk playing on her face. _“One thing you gotta know about fighting is that you’re not gonna hit your intended target every time. Yeah sure you can get lucky some of the time, but nothing is guaranteed. So you can’t be put off and get frustrated just because you miss your mark. Making contact with your opponent at all, no matter how little it may be, is what’s important.”_

Aden sat up a bit but remained on the floor as he took in the words of his mentor. _“So, should I not try to risk making certain moves even when I feel confident I can hit them?”_

Lexa shook her head then sat on the mat right next to him. She could see how he came to that thought, but it wasn’t exactly what she was trying to teach him, so she tried again. _“No, it’s never a bad thing to take risks in a fight. You just need to be smart about it.”_ She smiled at him reassuringly which made his shoulders less tense as he listened. _“You gotta remember there’s two of you in that octagon. That means that’s two human beings, two brains working simultaneously; plotting, predicting, and making decisions on what they and their opponent might want to do. Now things may not always line up as it does in their own heads, but that doesn’t mean you back off just because you’re not sure.”_

Aden nodded. _“So I should try to take a shot if I see one, but stay calm and always be prepared for a counter or be ready to recover if it doesn’t connect.”_

**_‘That a boy.’_** Lexa nodded. _“Yes, and what is the best way to recover?”_

_“By keeping my feet moving and remaining out of my opponents’ reach.”_

_“And what about if your opponent is faster and tries to charge you?”_

_“Side step and dodge as best I can, and if I think I can land a shot as they’re coming in then I should go for it.”_

_“Do you just go for it with a little bit of power or do you go all out with your strike?”_

_“I go all out.”_ Aden answered quickly.

_“Why is that?”_

_“Because there’s a chance I could knock them out.”_

Lexa raised her brow in silent agreement. _“How do you figure that?”_

_“Because the force at which they are coming towards me, in combination with how much power I put behind my attack makes it more than likely that the contact will result in the other person being completely knocked out.”_

**_‘He’s been studying those books I gave him very well.’_** Lexa smiles and places an approving hand on his shoulder. _“Good, Aden. Your technical knowledge of the octagon is even better than I thought.”_

Aden gave her a big smile. _“Thank you Commander! I read at least one chapter a day of the each of the three books you gave me. I never knew so much thought went into fighting.”_

_“What, you thought we were all just a bunch of meat heads throwing our fists at each other?”_

_“N-no…I…”_ He said nervously and looked like he was scrambling in his mind for the appropriate answer.

Lexa chuckled. _“Relax little man, I’m only teasing.”_ She ruffled his hair, making him laugh a little. _“You’d be surprised just how much of your mind is actually useful to you when you’re fighting another person. The more you know, the more steps ahead you are of the person opposite of you. Understand?”_

Aden nodded. _“Yes, Commander. I’ll keep studying and try to remember as much as possible.”_

_“Good, that’s all I can ask of you.”_ Lexa replied. _“Now, you ready to go again?”_

Aden nodded _. “Yeah! This time I’m gonna get you to the ground.”_

_“Oh really? Someone’s grown mighty confident in last 10 minutes I see.”_ Lexa teased. _“Let’s put that to the test.”_

Lexa stood up then extended a hand to Aden so that she could help him back to his feet. They both immediately went to opposite ends and took their stances. Lexa smiled to herself as she looked at the confidence and determination radiating from the young boy. But to think it had only been two weeks since she took him on as her apprentice, and to say she was impressed with his growth was an understatement. She taught him most of the basics, with more emphasis on Brazilian Ju-Jitsu boxing since that was the style she used herself. She would play old videos for him and slowly analyze the movements each fighter made and explain things to him. She didn’t want to just teach him how to defend himself, that was the initial idea, but seeing his unbreakable interest gave Lexa the idea that he could possibly become a professional MMA fighter himself one day. **_‘I’ll have to ask Clarke what she thinks of that. Our little man’s got spunk.’_** Lexa smiled to herself as she dodged and block Aden’s incoming attacks.

***

After 4 hours of sparring, Lexa decided this would be the last round. The hour had grown pretty late in the day and she didn’t want to have him out too long since he did still have school to go to in the morning.

They had settled into a new routine, not much different than before. Aden would still go to school of course, come to the gym afterwards, finish his homework (sometimes with the help of Lexa, Anya and/or Luna) and if there were enough time he’d train with Lexa, then she’d bring him home. The bulk of their training mainly was done on the weekends, such as today. It was Sunday, so Lexa had him since the morning while Clarke worked at the studio; first teaching him new technics then sparring with him for the 2nd time that afternoon. The 1st had been the weekend prior, which saw the young lad learning how to be thrown around to the mat and not having the wind knocked out of him each time. He had a rough start to say the least, but in time he learned how to _‘fall with style’_ as Lexa liked to say.

_“Alright, last round.”_ Lexa spoke as she looked down at the dirty blonde boy laying across the mat after being tossed to the ground once again. _“I have to get you home after this, I’m sure your mom misses you.”_

Lexa smiled as she briefly remembered watching Clarke squeeze Aden rather tightly when they had returned to his home the other night. He’d try to fight back the smile he had at the moment, probably feeling embarrassed that Lexa was there observing them. Lexa thought the opposite in fact, she found the moment between the two rather tender and loving. It always warmed her heart whenever she watched Clarke show Aden affection completely unashamed, not caring if there was an audience there. She loved her son, it was evident, and wanted him to know it more than anything else. **_‘That’s how a mother should love her child…’_**   A part of Lexa felt jealous at the fact that she never got to experience such a thing for herself, a mother’s love, but she never let it get to her too much. It made her happy at least to see that Aden received such a gift.

Aden huffed as he rose to his feet and took his stance again. He seemed even more geared up and ready than before. _“Ready to kiss the floor, Commander?”_ Aden spoke determinedly.

Lexa smirked at his cockiness and nodded. _“Challenge accepted.”_ She gestured her hands in a _‘come and get me’_ motion which prompted the young boy to make steps towards her.

Aden made his way to Lexa in a stalking matter. Blue eyes shifting from her own green ones to her feet on the floor and back, studying her movements like a predator sizing up its prey. **_‘Kids’ not playing around.’_**

He charged towards her suddenly with a straight right hand which she blocked.

He followed it up with left low kick, she checks.

Goes for a right knee, she blocks and shoves it off to the side.

He does a left hook, his favorite, she ducks.

He follows with a right uppercut and almost grazes her but she side stepped it.

She smiled proudly as she saw that missing the last move didn’t falter his confidence, but instead fueled him to change his approach as he backed up a little from her and started studying her foot work. After a moment, he seemed to have an idea in his head, so he came at her again with a right hook. When she went to dodge it, he followed it up with a left elbow which, to her own surprise, made contact with her right cheek and stunned her for a second. **_‘Holy shit.’_** She stumbled backwards a bit and Aden took the opportunity to attempt a takedown. He charged forward and wrapped his arms around her loose hanging right arm, and tried to flip her over his own back. Had he been taller and a bit stronger he might have just made Lexa kiss the floor for the very first time during their training. **_‘But today will not be that day.’_** She regained her composure and countered his throw by stiffening her right arm then wrapping her left arm around his waist. She breaks his grip on her right arm then wraps that one around his waist as well and swiftly takes him down to the mat.

_“Umph!”_ He breathes out as his front hit the floor with more force than before. He cradled into himself when the pain from the impact, and possibly the day as a whole, started to take root within his body.

**_‘Oh no!’_** Lexa quickly came to his aid and took him into her arms. She pulled his head into her chest and ran her fingers through his mop of hair, trying her best to soothe the wounded soldier. **_‘Fuck, I should have been more careful.’_** She scolded herself as she watched small tears run down his eyes. The sight of the wetness on his face sent a cringing ache through her chest. She didn’t like seeing him in pain. **_‘Aden, I…’_**

_“…I’m so sorry.”_ She said to him as she rocked back and forth with him nestled in her arms. _“I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. I reacted on instinct.”_

Aden sniffled but tried to speak clearly through his tears. _“I-It’s okay, Commander.”_ He spoke reassuringly while trying to wipe the tears away from his eyes and hid his head in shame into her chest. _“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry.”_ He sniffled again. _“I’m sorry for being weak.”_

**_‘Weak…?’_** It seemed as though the pain from his body was not even on the list of his concerns. In fact, all that weighed on his shoulders was the idea that he had failed his mentor. Failed her. _**‘Oh Aden…you could never…’** _ Her grip around him tightened to show him comfort. _“Shhh, no Aden.”_ She spoke softly to him, rubbing his head slightly. _“You are not weak. You did so well.”_ She separated them slightly then used her fingers to raise his chin so their eyes met. _“You made ‘The Great Commander’ stumble and almost took me down in a mere sparring match up. If that isn’t a victory in itself then I don’t know what is.”_

Aden took a moment to think on her words, then his face lit up when he soaked in what she had said. _“Wow! I did do that didn’t I!?”_ He spoke excitedly.

Lexa smiled at him with pride and nodded. _“Yes sir, little man. You did. You’re even better than me when I was your age.”_

Aden rewarded Lexa with her favorite goofy smile from him, tears no longer falling from his eyes, and hugged her tightly. _“Thank you, Commander.”_ He spoke softly. _“I will keep getting stronger, I promise. I’ll make you proud.”_

Lexa smiled even wider to herself as she felt the warmth and love radiating from his body to hers. He wanted to keep fighting, keep growing and improving under her watchful eyes. She’d never known how good it could feel to be appreciated more than in this moment. She felt bad that he was sore from the training, but also felt happiness that it did not deter him from her. In fact, it only fueled his confidence even further and was driving his will to do better, be better.

She broke away from his embrace to look in his eyes again. _“You make me proud every single day, Aden. You are the toughest kid I know, and you can do anything you set your mind to.”_ She smiled affectionately at him as she saw tears welling in his eyes again. This time, she was sure it was for a far more positive reason. _“You will never be weak in my eyes. No matter how many times you fall, always remember you’ve got the me as your biggest fan rooting for you and cheering you on. That day I fought Monroe, it was looking at you that gave me the strength to win. So I will do the same for you. I will always be here for you. Never forget that.”_

He nodded as a single tear created a path down his cheek. The smile on his face, so innocent, so warm, it nearly started a blaze within Lexa’s chest. _“Yes, Commander.”_ He said followed by another sniffle.

She meant what she said, an unofficial promise. She’d always fight beside him, fight for him, be whatever it is he needs her to be. She’d do whatever it took to keep that look he’s giving her now from ever disappearing. **_‘I will be your hero, as you as mine.’_**

_“Now my little warrior, let’s get you all cleaned up. You stink.”_ She scrunched her face as she teased him, doing her best to settle the heaviness of the atmosphere.

His eyes widened in shock. _“No I don’t!”_ He broke away from her arms and sniffed himself. _“Do I…?”_

Lexa laughed loudly. _“Yeah, you do kiddo. That’s normal though after a long day of getting your ass kicked.”_ She teased.

_“Hey! I did get you in the end…sort of…and…and I almost got you a couple of other times.”_

She chuckled at his attempts to prove himself. _“I’ll give you credit where it’s due, but that doesn’t change the fact that you smell.”_

She laughed as Aden playfully punched her arm with furrowed brows. _“Shut up, Commander.”_  

Lexa found the whole thing unbelievably amusing, but she chose to calm herself down a bit. _“Alright, alright. Go hit the showers kid, then we’ll head out.”_

Aden nodded then rose to his feet. She watched as he grabbed his Thundercats book bag and headed towards the men’s locker room. Once he disappeared, she got up herself and went to clean up the equipment they had used. The gym was closed on Sundays, so the place was empty besides the two of them. Lexa preferred that because it gave Aden the opportunity to really focus on the tasks at hand. And getting to spend some one-on-one time with him was a definite plus. Sometimes Gustus would chime in and try to give his own advice while she was teaching him. When she was showing him a couple of moves in the clinch, he’d come in and explain his way of doing certain things. Lexa didn’t mind, Gustus was her coach after all, but she secretly kinda saw the kid as her protégé and wanted him to master all of what she knew personally. She never thought she’d ever have one, but after taking him under her wing it was a thought that crossed her mind rather often now.

Other times Anya and Luna would distract them with hooting and hollering, making them laugh and break their concentration. Once, Anya had come up behind Aden while he was using the punching bag and started tickling his sides, making him crumble to the ground in seconds and sending him into a frenzy of laughter. Lexa found it hilarious, honestly, but really wanted him to get used to focusing on certain strike points. Luna had interrupted them the other day while Lexa was teaching him proper grappling technics, and offered to take him out for ice cream. Of course he jumped at the opportunity, cutting their training time short. His stomach hurt too much afterwards to continue. Clarke wasn’t too happy when she explained why her son was practically gripping his stomach when Lexa returned him. Clarke forgave Lexa, of course, but she also was denied a plate of food from her favorite chef as a punishment. As far as Clarke explained it, _‘If Aden has to suffer then I think it’s only fair you do too’_ , Lexa didn’t miss the wicked smirk on Clarke’s face either. She’ll get her revenge someday on the blonde. It frustrated Lexa, but she didn’t let it show, she should have put her foot down with Luna and Aden on the subject. She did her best not to yell at the people in her life, though they had been rather annoying, but she knew they did it simply because they were as taken with the boy as she was. She couldn’t blame them.

After cleaning up everything in the gym that they had used, she sat on the bench nearest to the main office. She packed up all of her belongings into her duffle bag, then took a swig from her water bottle. She looked at her phone to see that she had gotten a text from Clarke saying that she’d be home late, which meant Aden would be staying the night at Lexa’s. **_‘Titus is gonna have a field day when we get home.’_** She chuckled to herself as she recalled all the times the giant puppy would wag his stubbed tail fiercely whenever the boy had come over and Aden would hug him like a teddy bear. It was rather cute seeing how attached the two had become.

A few minutes later Aden came strutting out of the men’s locker room fully dressed, his hair slightly wet from the water and book bag slung over his shoulder, looking prepared for an adventure.

_“All squeaky clean, Commander.”_ He announced as he came to stand in front of her with a goofy grin.

Lexa chuckled _. “Good to know. You’ll be staying over at mines’ tonight; your mom has to stay later at the studio.”_

_“Cool! So does that mean we can play some video games before bed!?”_ He asked excitably.

Apparently, Clarke didn’t let Aden play games too close to his bed time because she thought it would make him too energetic to sleep afterwards. Lexa found that rather ridiculous, so she let him do it whenever he slept over. She felt a little guilty going behind Clarke’s authority on the subject, but seeing Aden having fun with her was too good to pass up. To make things clear though, Clarke was right, but Lexa would never let her know that.

_“Of course we can! I bought the Uncharted Collection for my PS4 a few days ago, so we can take turns playing through that together if you want. Just don’t tell your mother or she’ll kill us both.”_

Aden laughed. _“Heck yeah! I always wanted to play that. Can we order pizza too??”_

Another thing she let him get away with under her supervision. Lots of junky meals even though he needed to eat healthier to be fit for training. **_‘But who could resist that look?’_** She smiled at the puppy face the 13-year-old had been giving her. _“You got it buddy.”_

_“Awesome!”_ He dropped his book bag and hugged Lexa tightly around her waist. _“You’re the best, Commander.”_

Lexa smiled softly and ruffled the dirty blonde rainforest on his head. _“Anything for you, little man.”_

***

Almost a hundred licks from Titus, one ex-large pie of meat lovers’ pizza, and three levels of Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune later had seen the young boys’ eyes growing rather heavy. Lexa couldn’t help but snicker as she watched him dosing off as he was still trying to shoot the enemies on screen. **_‘Looks like the itis has finally taken over him.’_** She shook her head and smiled. She ruffled his head again to wake him. He snapped to attention and shook his head with an _‘I’m awake!’_ and tried to continue fighting the goons trying to chase his character through the level.

_“Enough, little man.”_ Lexa said. _“Time for bed. I told you we’d play no later than 10:30, it’s 11 o’ clock.”_ He always managed to get her to let him stay up later.

_“Awee, but I’m sure I’m almost finished with this level.”_ Aden whined as he continued to play.

_“Aden.”_ Lexa spoke a little sternly to show she was serious. She rarely ever used his actual name. She only really used it when she honestly wanted him to listen to her directive or have his undivided attention. _“Yu laik odon. Nau.”_

Gustus had taught most of his students his ancestors’ native language, Trigedasleng. It was primitive, full of strength and command, so they loved to use it among each other. She had taught some to Aden as well because he showed an interest in learning it when he heard Gustus and Anya speaking it one day.

Aden got the message, gulped and nodded. He quickly put the PS4 in rest mode and sat the controller down. _“Ai’m sorry, Heda.”_

_“No harm done.”_ She smiled. _“Now, go on. Get your stuff ready for school tomorrow so then maybe I can let you sleep a little more in the morning, alright?”_

_“Okay!”_ Aden swiftly got off the couch and headed towards his room, the Rottie following closely behind him.

Lexa shook her head, **_‘He’s gonna end up stealing my dog away from me, I know it.’_** She chuckled to herself then got up the clean the mess they had accumulated over the last few hours. She was having a lot of fun herself while spending time with him, but she knew he was a terrible morning person like his mother, so that was the last thing she wanted to deal with. The more sleep he got in the morning, the better. When she was finished she went to the room and leaned against the doorway, observing the young blonde as he finished packing up and settled himself into his bed, Titus taking up his spot right next to him.

_“You double checked to make sure you have everything for tomorrow?”_ She asked.

Aden nodded. _“I triple dog checked, right Titus?”_

_“Bark!”_ Titus replied making them both laugh.

_“Good.”_ Lexa came over to them and sat on the edge of the bed. _“You did an excellent job today little man. It makes me so happy to see how far you’ve come in such a short amount of time.”_

_“You think I’ll ever be as good as you someday?”_

_“No…”_ She spoke sternly with a stoic expression.

Aden furrowed his brows then dipped his head. _“…oh.”_

Lexa lifted his chin, staring deep into his blue eyes. _“…you’ll be even better than me.”_ She gave him her warmest smile which proved to be rather infectious. He reflected it with his own in an instant. She kissed the top of his head before tucking him in and making her way out of his room. _“Reshop, strik man.”_

_“Reshop, Heda.”_ Aden replied before sinking his head into his pillow.

She smiled at him one more time before shutting the door and heading towards her room.

***

Lexa didn’t sleep much, she never really could since she lost her father. When the clock had read 1am, she was lying in bed, staring at the TV across from her and still wide awake watching Marvels’ Jessica Jones on Netflix. She had been so wrapped up in the thickening plot in the show that she barely registered the small knock at her door. A short moment later she was a little startled when it cracked open. She caught her breath when she saw that it was Aden poking his head in and rubbing his sleepy eyes.

_“Commander?”_ He spoke softly.

_“Hey, little man, why are you up?”_ Lexa asked with concern overtaking her expression.

_“I had a nightmare…”_ Aden ducked his head.

_“It’s okay, you’re safe.”_ Lexa pulled the covers beside her up and gestured for him to join her. _“C’mere, you can talk to me about it.”_

Aden nodded and buried himself within Lexa’s covers, Titus jumped on top too and lay at the foot of the bed. Lexa pulled Aden into her side till he was snug and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Aden responded by burying his head into her side and breathing in slow, calming breaths; his racing heart causing ripples that traveled into her own body. **_‘It must have been pretty bad, he seems petrified.’_** She looked down at him, full of worry and unease. She hoped the closeness was helping him feel safe, protected, as she intended.

After a few moments, he spoke, _“…I saw them again…”_

_“Who did you see?”_ Lexa asked softly, though she had a feeling as to whom he spoke of.

_“…them…my…m-my parents…”_ He said in almost a whisper.

Lexa had only ever spoke briefly with Aden about his parents in the past. It was still a terribly sore subject for him, as expected, and she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by talking too much about it. Aden knew Lexa lost her parents too, but Clarke was the only one of the three of them who knew both of her and Aden’s parental backstories in full detail. She clutched him even tighter which prompted him to sink his head further into her side and wrap his arms around her waist. She could feel her tank top soaking as it gathered the tears that escaped his eyes. Lexa used her other hand to gently glide through his hair, a gesture that always seemed to calm him when he was overwhelmed.

_“Do you wanna talk about it? I’m here if you need me to listen.”_

Aden hesitated for a moment before lifting his head away slightly so that his eyes, melancholy blue mixed with a hint of redness, stared into her caring emeralds. _“I-I…I saw them in the car again…”_ He started. _“…it was flipped over, covered in flames…I could hear them calling out to me…telling me to run…then…then I…”_ His words started to catch in his throat as the images haunted his mind.

Lexa could see him struggling. She wanted nothing more than erase them and have him never know this pain she was all too familiar with. But she knew he’d only feel at least a minimal amount of relief if talked about it. Lexa rubbed her thumb to swipe some of the tears away from his eyes. _“Take your time, I’m here. I’m here.”_ She said delicately.

He nodded then continued. _“…I heard them…screaming…they were suffering Commander…I didn’t want to run; I didn’t want to leave them…I wanted to save them…why couldn’t I save them…?”_ The words seemed more like a desperate plea than an actual question.

It hurt to see this young boy whom she had grown so close to being tormented by things that never were or could have been in his control. As much as she wanted to find a way to evaporate the anxiety flowing through him, she knew that was next to impossible to do so. All she could do was comfort him and hopefully soothe the aching of his heart.

_“Sometimes, Aden, bad things happen to the ones we love. And no matter how much we wish we could shield them from harm, we can’t. Not always at least.”_ She spoke strong and honestly. _“I’m sorry you had that nightmare…I’m even more sorry you lost them in the first place…but remember this, wamplei ste nou the end, Aden. Death is not the end. Their spirits will be reborn, and someday they will find you again. That much, I am sure.”_

Aden clutched onto her even tighter and buried his head back into her side as he absorbed Lexa’s words. She hoped they would have the desired effect, and they did. After a few moments she felt his body relaxing into her weight and his soft sobs turned into plain sniffles.

_“Do you…”_ He whispered. _“…do you really think I’ll see them again one day?”_

Such an innocent question, and the answer was something Lexa truly believed in without a shadow of a doubt. _“Yes.”_

Aden nodded and sniffled a little bit. _“O-okay…I guess I’ll go back to bed now…”_ He sounded as if that was the exact opposite thing he wanted to do, but he did have school in the morning and needed rest.

_“W-would you wanna just stay in here with me for the night?”_ Though she was hesitant to offer as the thought crossed her mind, since this was Clarke’s kid and she didn’t ask her in advance if she’d be okay with it, Lexa had a feeling it would make him feel more secure if he had someone other than a giant puppy keeping him company after such a traumatizing dream.

_“Could I?”_ He looked up into her eyes for confirmation.

She gave him her warmest smile and rubbed the through his hair tenderly. _“Of course you can.”_

Aden smiled back and nodded a _‘Yes’_. _“Thank you.”_

She kissed the top of his head, turned off her TV with the remote before placing in on the nightstand, then scooted so they were in the middle of her queen sized bed. She laid on her side, while he did the same facing towards her and tucked his head into her collarbone, his body stretched out some behind him. She wrapped her arms around him so that one nestled under his head, prompting him to rest atop it, then around so her hand laid on his upper back; the other was around the topside of his body. They both took a small breath, savoring the warm of the other. For the first time in a long time, Aden truly did feel safe and secure; like no horrors would taint his dreams tonight. With those feelings welling up inside him, he spoke words he felt Lexa had attained.

_“Goodnight, Commander…”_ He started.

_“Goodnight, little man.”_

_“…I love you, Lexa.”_ He said innocently and affectionately.

Lexa felt her breath hitch in her throat as the words traveled from her ears and sank into her heart. Never did Aden ever truly call her by her name. And now that he had, it was followed by words she thought would take a longer time and more hard work to be gifted from him. But here he was. She’d been there for him at one of his most pained, crucial of moments, and her reward was the simplest of gestures, but the most impactful in the scheme of things. **_‘I earned it…his love…I did that.’_**

To say she was surprised, awestruck even, was an understatement. Her heart filled with emotions she’d never tackled in her 24 years of life, but would trade them in for nothing. For nothing at all. Because she adored this boy, this spunky young man whom could get her to agree to the craziest of things like dressing Titus up into a tuxedo costume. They had done it for no valid reason at all, just because he was curious. Whom made her break her diets and piss off Gustus into making her do double her work load. She’d never been so sore in her life, but regretted nothing. Who had followed and cheered for her through every one of her fights since the beginning. If not for him, she’d sure her undefeated record would have been scrubbed in her last fight. The lightness in her life she owed in some respect to him, his effortless way of emitting joy from an otherwise stoic raised figure. He was something she’d never thought she’d ever know the feeling of again. He was like family. A word that terrified her, and yet with him, it was something she had found herself longing for. Now it seemed, with these few simple words, he was giving her that opportunity. And she will cherish and nurture it as best she could.  

_“I love you too, Aden.”_

***

Lexa awoke slightly from a weird dream. **_‘I think it had elephants in it for some reason. What the hell?’_**

As her eyes started to open, she felt an unusual warmth surrounding her. An unknown scrape of air titillating the back of her neck. She lifted her head a bit and looked down to see that Aden was still where he was positioned when they fell asleep, lost away in his dreamland. Then she heard light snoring, but it wasn’t from him.

**_‘The heck?’_** She turned her head a little to look behind her, what she saw was not something she ever expected.

Her sight was graced with waves of familiar long, golden locks that nestled atop the head of the most fascinating woman in the world. At least in her opinion. Her creamy, light skin had slight stains of paint among it. Her eyelids hid away what had gradually became Lexa’s favorite ocean, its color outshining the sky on most days; long, enchanting eyelashes stretched from them like arms of a tree. Her little nose twitched in time with her faintly furrowing eyebrows, signaling that her body didn’t appreciate Lexa’s shifting. Luscious but thin pink lips parted slightly; subtle and relaxed breaths accompanied by her soft snores. She was stunning. Breathtaking. Harmonious in her wake; causing Lexa’s heart to speed into overdrive as she watched the smaller woman reposition herself so she was even closer to Lexa’s back.

Lexa looked at the clock on her nightstand behind the blonde. **_‘4am.’_**

She looked back to Clarke and could see that she was still wearing the old shirt she puts on when she’s painting. **_‘She must have come straight here from the studio instead of home.’_** Lexa guessed. **_‘Why did she sleep here though…surely her own bed would have been more comfortable...’_**

It wasn’t that Lexa minded sharing her bed with Clarke, she’d done so once before, but she was just taken aback by the discovery. Last time they shared a bed, Lexa had been more vulnerable than she’d ever been with anyone in her entire life. **_‘Not to mention she sat in your lap at one point, and you almost kissed her…’_** Her mind recounted for her; a warmness took root in her belly as the image emerged in her mind. They hadn’t talked about it in the two weeks since then. Both were fairly busy, what with Lexa training Aden and Clarke preparing for her showing. They’d never had a moment alone and when they did it was as brief as them come; time just never seemed right enough to engage in what would probably quite a serious conversation. Not that she knew exact the nature of the possible discussion in question. If she really thought about it, Lexa wasn’t sure what had come over her in that moment.

Yes, she’s been attracted to Clarke since they met. **_‘Who wouldn’t be?’_**

Yes, Clarke had been a very positive addition to her life in recent months. **_‘The woman has gotten you to dress in more than just sweats and old t-shirts for the first time in forever for heavens’ sake. As Anya had put it.’_**

Yes, she felt an unusual connection to the slightly older woman. **_‘The thought of spending a day without her, would absolutely suck.’_**

And yes, admittedly, she may have a small crush on the blonde. **_‘…small? Who are you kidding?’_**

The crush had become more a long time ago if she were really honest with herself. That day she took Clarke and Aden hiking with her and Titus had ultimately changed that. It was that day she noticed she’d adored the way Clarke laughed, how the sound made her feel warm like she was listening to an old song that made nostalgia blossom within her; she wanted to hear that sound forever. She’d been entranced by the way the rays of the sun reflected off of her delicate skin, and highlighted the tone of her hair; dancing in the silhouette of her form. It was like she was the Greek goddess Athena, and sun surrendered to her will. The blue of her eyes, oh those eyes, how they held a strength she didn’t think all the training in the world could prepare her to face-off against; and yet they never challenged her, only hugged her into a glow she’d never known existed. Gave her a place to take shelter in being her true self, no judgement hindering below the surface. The intense feeling of her graceful skin as Clarke’s hands worked her shoulders. Relieving her aches and pain, for if only a moment, one she’d feel eternally grateful for. The way her slender fingers caused heat to radiate off of Lexa’s skin, sending her into a frenzy of deep breaths and goosebumps littering her exterior. Her heart racing with time itself as she relaxed into the safety those hands bestowed upon her.

What she has felt for Clarke since that day was not just a simple crush. No. It was more. **_‘but what…?’_**

She could not tell you the answer to that question, because she wasn’t certain herself. All she knew was she felt something for Clarke. It was deep and unyielding; slowly seeping into every essence of her being. Controlling and yet freeing in its absolution. **_‘…is it love?’_**

It couldn’t be. She knew love. She felt love for Gustus, Anya, Luna, and now Aden was a member of that group. She knew that was love for sure. It wasn’t love she felt for Clarke, not that she didn’t love her, but it felt…compelling somehow. She wasn’t positive. She’d never felt this way about anyone.

**_‘She’ll never feel the same for you.’_** That dark voice recites in her mind.

**_‘You are worthless.’_** Lexa’s eyes tightened shut at the recognizable sound.

**_‘Stop it…’_** Lexa pleaded.

**_‘You are nothing.’_** Lexa could feel the anxiety festering within her.

**_‘…stop…’_** Sweat started to make its way down her forehead.

**_‘You will disappoint them like the scum you are.’_** The bitterness cutting its usual path through veins.

**_‘Shut up.’_** Lexa tried to mentally bark back; one of her fist slowly clutching together.

Lexa juked a bit and felt a rush run through to her chest as Clarke snuggled against her even more. A movement that prompted Aden to do the same into her front. Lexa felt herself beginning to relax again. The simultaneous actions of the two fought away her neighboring demons and she felt at peace, if but for just a moment. She might not be sure what it is that she feels for the other woman, but she did know that she was really enjoying this; being sandwiched between the two blondes like she was the center of their universe. **_‘As if that could ever happen.’_** To tell the truth, they’d become the center of hers.

A small smile placed itself on her lips as she looked at Aden to Clarke then back to him. She wasn’t about to interrupt this scene of unadulterated domesticity, it was more than she ever dreamed of, so she laid back down and got herself comfortable between them. As she did so, Clarke’s arm which was resting atop her own side, came to wrap around Lexa’s middle; grasping Lexa’s shirt a bit and pulling herself ever so much closer, nuzzling her soft nose into the back of Lexa’s neck. A small chuckle escaped Lexa as Clarke’s breath tickled her baby hairs. Lexa decided to allow the closeness and responded by pulling Aden further into her collarbone till there no such thing as personal space. Aden in turn snuggled into her and released a calming breath of air.

Lexa kept the smile on her face as she drifted back into her slumber; quite confident that there’d be no nightmares for any of them tonight.

 

Notes: Domestic Clexen & Clexa all up in this bitch! Haha. I’m sorry for the long delay between updates. A lot of people have been quitting at my job so I’ve had to take on a lot of overtime the last few weeks, which has been stressful to say the least. Not used to so much changing all at once. So that kinda made it difficult for me to have a moment to concentrate on writing. But I hope this was a welcomed gift.

I didn’t mean for this chapter to be as long as it is when I started it, but I kinda just followed the flow I was on and here we are. Did you like it? I love knowing your thoughts, and honestly comments have been helping me work through my every day stress so don’t be shy in leaving me some. I appreciate them more than you know. I’ll try to have the next update in a soon as I can. I’ve already got ideas listed down, till then, thank you for reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Domestic Clexen & Clexa all up in this bitch! Haha. I’m sorry for the long delay between updates. A lot of people have been quitting at my job so I’ve had to take on a lot of overtime the last few weeks, which has been stressful to say the least. Not used to so much changing all at once. So that kinda made it difficult for me to have a moment to concentrate on writing. But I hope this was a welcomed gift. 
> 
> I didn’t mean for this chapter to be as long as it is when I started it, but I kinda just followed the flow I was on and here we are. Did you like it? I love knowing your thoughts, and honestly comments have been helping me work through my every day stress so don’t be shy in leaving me some. I appreciate them more than you know. I’ll try to have the next update in a soon as I can. I’ve already got ideas listed down, till then, thank you for reading! 
> 
> Translations:  
> Strik man: “Little man”  
> Rehop, Heda: “Goodnight, Commander”  
> wamplei ste nou the end: “Death is not the end”


	13. “Something to Think About”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke & Lexa’s POV. Clarke and Aden have some time together, while Lexa gets some news.

Chapter 13: “Something to Think About”

She knew what she was in for the minute she said ‘Yes’ and a broad smile made its way under the small nose and brightened blue eyes before her. Warmth encased itself around her heart the second the structure had begun to take form amongst the boys’ face. It had been awhile since the last time she had a chance to take him somewhere, just the two of them, so Clarke intended to take full advantage of the day ahead. It was the annual ‘End of Summer’ Festival held every September near their neighborhood. Since the year Clarke adopted Aden, she made it a tradition for them to go every year. He had a blast every time, and this one was gladly not an exception.

Aden had asked her if they were still going this year, not sure if the tradition was going to stick around. **_‘Probably because I’ve been so wrapped up in my work.’_** Clarke assumed, but nothing would ever steal her away from keeping with their normal events. **_‘Not even that intense glare I got from Jaha when I told him I wouldn’t be able to help set up the floor plan for the showing.’_** She couldn’t fight the giggle she had as she recalled the darker man crossing his arms and looking at her like she stole the last Peanut Butter cookie Maya brought in. Which in hindsight, she did a few weeks ago, but that was another story for another time.

It had reached the four-hour mark for them, and the day was filled with laughter and fun. When they first entered Aden immediately dragged her to his favorite ‘starter ride’, the pirate ship. Aden had revealed to her a few years ago that it was the first type of ride that his father had taken him on when he was 6-years-old. Clarke came to notice that he only gathered enough courage to go on the more daring rides after getting on that one. She assumed it was a comfort thing so she never had a problem obliging his request for it; top spin style rides were her ‘gateway’ into similar things because of her own parents, so she understood.

After that they hit up every ride the festival had along the way. From the big apples, to the disco spin cars, to the bumper cars, and the Ferris wheel. The only thing Aden was not a fan of were her personal favorites, the haunted houses, but she never forced him to go. After getting on all the mechanical rides, they went to the food court to dine on the always delicious turkey legs, Italian sausages, and of course, Aden’s favorite, funnel cake. With their bellies full they decided to hit up all the games and obstacle courses. Neither of them were ever really any good at the games, but it was always fun just playing along together or in competition with each other. After a while Clarke got a little tired, so she let Aden play a few of the squirt gun games while she sat at a nearby bench watching over him. Her own face was full of joy and pride as she watched her son battling with the other people around him.

It warmed Clarke’s heart seeing her son like this. **_‘He’s so…so happy.’_** To think a few short years ago he’d been the kid in her art class that sat alone, quietly looking out the window or drawing doodles of a life he no longer had anymore. Clarke was surrounded by a lot of kids that had their own share of horrible experiences, but there was always something about that little boy with the dirty blonde hair and sad blue eyes that always seemed to captivate her. She felt like it was fate that they had met. That something in the universe had told her to assign them that topic that day. That day that everything for them had changed. That day she truly met the boy who would become her son, for the very first time.

                                                                                                                _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_“Aden is it?” Clarke asked softly as she approached the seemingly timid boy sitting at a desk near the window._

_He looked up at her, a hue of blue a bit duller than her own, watching her with caution as she slowly crouched down to his level. It was as if he was trying to block her from coming near him. She kept a decent amount of distance between them, as to not to frighten him._

_“May I?” She points toward the drawing in front of him._

_He continues to stare at her, the whirlpools of his eyes pulling her into him, but somehow keeping her out of reach. He was rather intriguing to say the least in her opinion. She took pride in the fact that she got him to smile a bit in the first few classes he attended by drawing him things. It was more than any of her fellow staff mates were able to boast about. Progress was slow, but gradual. She hadn’t once heard him speak since he started though. It’s not that he couldn’t or didn’t know how to speak, as far as other staff members had told her, he just chose not to. Like he lost his voice the same day he lost the world he once knew. He was fragile, maybe even broken to some, but not to her. She could see the pain in his eyes, as well as in the work she would collect from him. They were all dark shades, and faceless characters. No colors, no sun, no happiness to be seen. She knew nothing of this boy, and yet she ached for him. Today was different however. Today she had them draw the one thing they wanted more than anything in the world, and when she peeked at him from the seat at her desk she swore she saw colors on his page. **‘It can’t be…’**_

_He slowly and cautiously handed the sheet of paper to Clarke._

_“Thank you.” She smiled affectionately towards him, causing what looked like a small curve on the corner of his mouth._

_She felt tears brim in her eyes as she analyzed the work in front of her. There were three people on the page; a man, woman, and child. They had big smiles on their faces as they held stick arms, with the sun shining brightly above their heads as they stood together in a meadow of flowers. There were no shades to be found, only bright and beautiful colors. Greens, yellows, pinks, reds, etc. It was a soundtrack of joy if she ever did see one. Clarke felt her heart jump as she read the message written in sloppy letters in the bottom right corner: ‘I miss you.’_

_“These are your parents?” She asked with a slight croak in her voice, wiping a few small tears that escaped._

_He nodded slowly, watching her with a hint of interest._

_“This is beautiful. I’m sure they miss you too, Aden.”_

_A small curve on his lips was her answer._

_“You wanna see something I drew?”_

_He stared at her for a little bit before slowly nodding at her again. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d shown him her work, but it would be a first in a sense that it’s the only personal piece she’d shared that wasn’t directly for him._

_Clarke gently placed his drawing back on his table, then stood up and went to her desk. She returned shortly after with a sheet of paper that held her own drawing on it. She passed it to Aden and he could see it was a sketching of an older man with kind eyes. Aden looked at the picture for a moment, studying the man’s face as if he were trying to recognize him._

_Clarke chuckled a bit at him when he finally lifted his eyes from the sketch and looked at her questioningly. “It’s my father.” She answered. “He was my best friend, and I lost him when I was young like you. I…I miss him so m-much every day.”_

_Tears started to well up in her eyes again as she started to recall memories of own childhood. The happier ones at least that he was almost always the orchestrator of. She juked from her thoughts when she felt the warmth of a smaller hand placing itself on top of hers. She trained her eyes in the direction of Aden’s. His normally dull blues, shining brighter than a moment before. They held within them sincerity, understanding, and somewhat apologetic._

_“I-I’m sure, he misses you too…Ms. Griffin.”_

                                                                                                                ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_“Mom! Mom! Look!”_

Clarke snapped to attention at the sound of her son’s voice. She watched as he approached her holding what looked like a stuffed animal in his hands. _“Oh wow! What’s that!?”_ She asked sincerely, having not immediately recognized the creature in his arms.

_“It’s a racoon!”_ Aden answered excitably. _“You think she’ll like it?”_

_“She…?”_ Clarke said with a questioned look.

_“Lexa!”_

_“Ahh, you won that for Lexa?”_

_“mmhmm.”_ He answered with a bright toothy smile.

Clarke started bursting into laughter as it hit her as to why Aden had gotten the racoon one in particular. One of the days when she had come to pick Aden up from training, Lexa and Anya were arguing over god knows what, **_‘As per usual.’_** , and somehow it turned into Anya calling Lexa a scheming racoon. Clarke wasn’t fully sure why, she laughed nonetheless, but asked Lexa about it when she joined them for dinner later on that night. Lexa told her how she, Anya, and Luna thought they had ‘spirit animals’ growing up. Anya’s was a fox, Luna was a wolf, and it was decided that Lexa was the racoon. Now the reasons for how that came about, Lexa absolutely refused to be forthcoming about. **_‘I guess she must have told Aden though. I’ll get it out of her eventually.’_** Clarke concluded.  

_“So…? You think she’ll like it?”_ Aden asked again, concern showing itself along his face. **_‘Probably ‘cause you still haven’t answered him you dope.’_**

_“Hmm, lemme have a look at him.”_ Clarke outstretched her hand towards Aden. He nodded then passed the stuffed racoon to his mother. Clarke smiled as she inspected the little cotton animal. It had big innocent looking beady eyes, black masking around them; his fur was soft and wiry, it reminded Clarke of some of the plush dolls she used to have of her own as a child that her father gave her. **_‘It’s so adorable. It’d look even cuter if…’_** Clarke’s breath catches as an idea pops in her head.

_“Something wrong mom?”_ Aden asks with questioning brows.

_“I think I just thought of something even more fun we could do to make him that much more special for Lexa.”_

_“Really!?”_

_“Yup! You up for an adventure, love?”_ She said with a toothy grin.

_“Heck yeah!”_

***

Lexa wiggled in the very uncomfortable chair for what felt like hours upon hours. She hated these things, meetings. They could be a blessing or a curse depending upon its contents, today she wasn’t sure of which kind, but it never changed the fact that no matter what the meetings were about the chairs still sucked. She’d gotten a call from her agent that the big boss, Dana White, had wanted to see her in his office as soon as possible. To say Lexa was nervous was an understatement. She’d never really gotten a chance to meet Dana White in person, him being the owner of the entire UFC and all. Most of the time her fights were booked between her agent and one of his correspondents. This time, however, White’s people had said he wanted to meet Lexa fate-to-face.

Lexa tried to keep the band playing in her chest at a minimum with calming breaths and looking around the room. Her agent, Indra, seemed rather excited about it all, but all Lexa could feel was anxiety.

_“Calm yourself, Lexa.”_ Indra spoke sternly. _“You worry your mind for nothing.”_

_“How do you know that?”_ Lexa said as she turned her attention to the short haired, dark woman beside her. _“You said they haven’t told you why he wanted to see me. What if he’s about to fire me or something?”_

_“Fire you? Please girl.”_ Indra quipped with an almost devilish chuckle. _“You are young, strong, popular, attractive, and currently stand undefeated in your division. The man would be the greatest fool in the world if he got rid of you, especially while you are in your prime.”_

Indra Trikru is the wife of her coach Gustus, as well as the most feared and respected female agent in all of the UFC. Her father was a boxer years ago and it was through him that she met her husband. Gustus had been one of her father’s trainees when Gustus was just starting to find his groove in the fighting world. According to Gustus, he’d asked her to ‘hit him with her best shot’, and the next thing he knew he woke up from being knocked unconscious. He said in that moment he knew she was the one, and they’d been together ever since. Over the years as his career took off, she’d found she had a talent for wooing people into giving him fights and landing deals he could never do on his own. With charisma that could rival Tony Stark, and an authority that could never be denied, she’d made it impossible for anyone to ever turn her away from what she wanted from them. When Gustus had retired after 11 years in the heavyweight division he’d opened his gym, and with Indra’s help recruited all the people in his camp, Lexa and her gang included.

If Gustus was the father figure in her life, Indra was most definitely her mother figure. She’d always commanded respect, but was nurturing in her own ways. When Gustus had brought in Lexa, Anya, and Luna off the street, Indra was skeptical at first, but she knew her husband did nothing without his reasons. Over time she’d grown just as attached to them as he did. She’d invited them to live in their house for the first two years before their careers took off. After every day spent training with Gustus, they’d come home to Indra’s cooking and bonding time. She became an agent for them all as well after Gustus bragged continuously about how well they were doing under his leadership. She’d been the reason they all got booked into the UFC in the first place, since everyone under the sun owed her a favor. Lexa wasn’t used to having too many good things in her life, but Indra was definitely one of them.

_“I appreciate the compliments on my creed and all, but I don’t know if you remember the last fight I was in a well as I do.”_

Indra raised a brow at the brunette. _“So Monroe gave you your greatest challenge to date, doesn’t change the fact that you won.”_

_“Yeah, but I’ve also been out because of injuries the last few weeks.”_

_“You won.”_

_“And, I’ve only been able to get back into my normal training schedule in recent weeks.”_

_“And, may I remind you, you still won.”_ Indra repeated with more fever in her voice. _“This is a business. It’s a sports business, but still a business all the same. What matters is that you win your battles. How you win them is non-valid, all that matters is that you do. Understood?”_  

Lexa pursed her lips as the woman beside her stared with an unrelenting authority Lexa could only imagine a military general could master. She nodded respectfully and felt lucky knowing that this cut throat woman was in her corner.

_“She speaks true you know.”_

Lexa jumped a bit in her seat at the sound of the voice belonging to a man she had only seen on television. She turned her head and saw the tall yet stocky, bald man looking at both women with a grin on his face. Lexa and Indra stood immediately to greet him as he made his way to them, and the little girl that Lexa once was screamed like a fangirl inside her head.

_“Dana, it’s always a pleasure to see you.”_ Indra said with a small smile.

_“The pleasure is all mine Indra.”_ Dana replied then turned his gaze to the fighter in front of him.  He stuck out his hand and said, _“And it is an honor to finally be meeting you Lexa. I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner.”_

Lexa shook his hand respectfully with a smile. _“I’m just trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’m meeting you at all, never mind the timing of it.”_

Dana chuckled. _“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that in the past, and still it baffles me. I’m just a regular guy.”_

_“Pfft. Regular guy? You’re the reason mixed martial arts is as big of a sport as it is today.”_

_“Stop it, you flatter me too much honestly.”_ He gestured towards the chairs they were in when he arrived. _“Please, have a seat and let’s get down to it shall we.”_

Both Lexa and Indra nodded and all three sat in their respective chairs.

Indra crossed her legs and cupped her hands in her lap as she spoke, _“So what is it that you wished to discuss with my fighter and myself this evening Mr. White?”_

Dana smirked before leaning himself onto his desk and looking between the two women before him. _“First of all, I wanted to congratulate you, Lexa. You’ve taken the women’s division by storm with your impressive show in the octagon, as well as defeating some of the greatest fighters I’ve signed into this company.”_

Lexa sat straight and professional as possible before she replied, _“Please sir, the credit all goes to my coach Gustus, Indra, and the Grounder camp for teaching me everything I know and forcing me to push myself in ways I never thought possible.”_

Dana nodded in agreement. _“That being said, I brought you in here today because I wanted to make you an offer. As I’m sure you know the next big event is going to be held within the next three months in Los Angeles.”_

Lexa nodded.

_“And since you have risen in rank after defeating Monroe, I wanted to have you headline the main event and face Meisha Tate for the #1 contenders spot for the Women’s Bantamweight Championship.”_

Lexa’s eyes grew wide as Dana finished his statement. _“You…you want me to what?”_

***

_“She’s here! She’s here!”_ Aden called out to his mother as he heard the knock at the door.

_“I’ll get it while you get the gift ready, okay?”_ Clarke said as she dried her hands from washing dishes.

_“You really think she’s going to like it?”_ Aden asked, a hint of anxiety making itself known in his aura.

Clarke had never seen Aden so nervous before. She helped him get gifts for the fighter a few times in the past such as a bandana, wrist wraps, and Lexa’s now new favorite water bottle, so it was a little odd to see her son so on edge about this gift in particular. **_‘Maybe it’s because he won it for her?’_** She guessed. Winning something for someone gives the object more value, which makes sense now that she thought about it. With that revelation in mind she knew she had to do her best to give Aden the confidence he needed in this moment.

She rubbed his shoulder gently and gave him her warmest smile. _“She’s going to love it. She’s getting it from her biggest fan in the whole world after all, right?”_

Aden nodded and a small smile started to grow on his lips.

_“Now get a move on kid before she thinks we’ve been kidnapped.”_ Clarke teased.

Aden giggles at his mother before running towards his room. Clarke took a quick breath before opening the door to her most frequent of house guests in the recent months.   _“Hey you.”_

Lexa smiled wide the minute her eyes set on the blue ones before her. _“Hey there mamabear.”_

She stepped forward, wrapped her muscular arms around Clarke’s lower back and pulled her into a hug. Clarke responded by wrapping her own arms around Lexa’s neck and let herself practically melt into the taller woman’s embrace. **_‘It’s like every time she holds me, it’s more intimate than the time before.’_** She thinks to herself as they stay like that for a bit, probably a little longer than friends should from an outsiders’ perspective, but Clarke never let that weigh too deeply on her mind.

After a beat, Clarke and Lexa finally broke away. _“C’mon in. We just finished eating and cleaning up.”_ She said as she allowed her guest to enter into her living room.

_“Awe man, you mean I missed the Griffin special?”_ Lexa pouted as she followed Clarke into the kitchen.

Clarke chuckled. _“Stop your pouting, big baby.”_ She said as she pulled a fully stocked plate of food out of the microwave and placed it onto the table. _“You know that even if we eat before you, I’d never leave you hanging.”_

If it were possible to make the smile on Lexa’s face any bigger, Clarke just figured out how. _“Awesome!”_ Lexa cheered.

Clarke chuckled as she watched the brunette sit down with haste and started to take big chunks out of the plate in front of her. Clarke figured her appetite stemmed from the fact that she was constantly active in the gym, but still it was quite an eye opener watching her devour food every time like it was her last meal. **_‘Such a savage.’_** She giggled as she joined Lexa at the table, elbow bent and chin resting on top of her hand. She said a last prayer for the turkey leg Lexa was currently tearing apart like an animal.

_“I’d ask if it was okay, but the answer looks quite obvious.”_

Lexa swallowed the last bit then smirked. _“Well that meeting went on for a while so I was starving.”_

_“You’re always starving Lex.”_ Clarke teased.

_“Well then maybe you should find something to better satisfy my hunger Ms. Griffin?”_ Lexa said boldly with a quirked brow; her eyes trained on Clarke with a slight predatory look hidden behind them. It wasn’t something Clarke was used to receiving from Lexa.

**_‘Wait a minute, is she flirting with me?’_** Clarke didn’t get a chance to ask the question because Aden came rushing into the kitchen with a big wrapped box in his hands.

_“Commander!!”_ Aden yelled with excitement upon seeing one of his favorite people in the world.

Lexa tore her eyes from Clarke the moment she heard Aden’s footsteps. She sat her fork down on her plate and rubbed her hand through his blonde hair. _“What’s going on little man! Did you have fun today?”_

Aden sat the box on the ground and joined them at the table. _“Yeah! Mom and I went to the End of Summer Festival.”_

_“Oh, wow really? I still haven’t been to one of those.”_

_“Really? It’s a family tradition, we go every year together.”_ Aden smiled widely as a thought came to mind looking at Lexa. _“Maybe…maybe next year you can come with us?”_ He turned to Clarke, _“can she mom?”_

Clarke’s brow jumped at the question. **_‘I wonder why he’s asking my permission?’_** She was slightly confused considering Lexa had taken him places before without much of a word these days. Not that she cared either way. She trusted Lexa as much as the other people close to both their lives, but especially with her son and his safety. But she didn’t try to think too much into it.

She smiled at her son then turned to Lexa. _“We would be delighted to have you, if you’re interested.”_

Lexa was slightly stunned by the offer. **_‘They…they want to include me in their family tradition?’_**

This past week had been full of surprises for her. First with Aden telling him he loved her, then waking up with both of them cuddling with her in her own bed, **_‘Something I have yet to talk to Clarke about, but she’s seems cool about it.’_** , and now they’re welcoming her into such sacred events in their lives. **_‘What have I done to deserve such kindness?’_** She thinks to herself. Part of her was waiting for the other shoe to drop, wherever that may be. She wasn’t sure why though, there was nothing that seemed to threaten them thus far. **_‘Just habit, I guess.’_**

She shakes the thoughts from her mind then turns her attention to the smaller blue eyes in front of her. _“I’d love that.”_

_“Woohooo!”_ Aden cheered loud and unapologetically. _“You’re gonna have so much fun with us, I promise.”_

_“I’ll hold you to that little man.”_ Lexa smiled then looked down at the big box next his feet. _“What is that by the way? You delivering cakes as a side job now?”_

_“Oh! I almost forgot!”_ Aden quickly grabbed the box then placed it on the table in front of Lexa. _“I, uh, I-I won this for you. I hope you like it.”_

Lexa’s brow rose in question, then pointed her finger to herself. _“For me?”_

Aden nodded.

Lexa smiled then pushed her mostly eaten plate to the side. Her eyes went wide when she opened the box to reveal something she never would have expected to get from the boy. It was a slightly large stuffed racoon. It had a green backwards snapback cap on, a pair of black shades, and a mini jersey with the letters ‘Commander’ written on it. She instantly recalled the incident the other day with Anya and the racoon comment. **_‘Oh my god. This…this is…’_**

_“…freaking awesome!”_ Lexa said excitably as she looked it over in her hands.

_“You…you like it?”_ Aden asked.

_“Do I like it?”_ Lexa sat it on the table, stood up then lifted Aden up into a massive bear hug. _“I love it! He’s the coolest thing ever!”_

Aden squirmed and giggled in her grip as she twirled around with him in her arms. When she sat him back down on the ground he said, _“Thank mom too. She’s the one who found the place we went to decorate him and picked out all the stuff.”_

Lexa looked at Clarke whom had been watching with a huge grin and gleam shimmering in her eyes. _“Did she now?”_

Clarke nodded. _“I did, but it was nothing really. All credit goes to master marksmen over here who beat out all his competition with the squirt guns.”_

Lexa made her way over to the older woman, lifted her up out of her chair like she weighed nothing and started twirling her around the kitchen as well. Clarke gripped onto Lexa like her life depended on it, while Aden laughed watching them in the background. Clarke could feel the heat rising in her belly when it dawned on her that the fighters’ wide fingers were holding her hips as she danced her through the air like a plane. She felt her heart racing as she looked into the amused green eyes that locked onto her frame. It was like she was floating, in more ways than one at the same time. Lexa had finally stopped twirling, but kept Clarke in her arms. Their eye contact remained as both tried to catch their breaths. Clarke wasn’t sure why, but she brought her hand up to cup Lexa cheek. **_‘What a goofball she is.’_** She smiled with such vigor at the younger woman, her thumb gently caressing the skin beneath it.

Lexa didn’t seem to mind the contact at all. She lingered in Clarke’s embrace and leaned into the softness of her touch. **_‘This…this feels so right.’_** She thought to herself as the blonde before her made chest ring with applauses to music she did not know was playing.

After a moment, probably a little longer than necessary, Lexa looked at Aden and gestured him to join them; which he did as quickly as his legs could allow him. He wrapped his shorter arms around the both of them, resting his head on both their sides. Clarke took her hand from Lexa’s cheek and played with Aden’s hair, as she rested her own head in the crook of Lexa’s neck and snuggled under her chin. Lexa followed suit by wrapping an arm around Aden’s shoulders and using the other to go around to the small of Clarke’s back. She pulled them both in as tightly as she could, and they all breathed an air of peace in unison.

Lexa felt tears welling in her eyes from all the joy she felt in this moment. A degree of joy, she knew only took form when the both of them were in her presents. Being with them like this, holding them like this. She felt special. They made her feel special. **_‘Not just that…but more…’_**

_“Thank you…both of you.”_ She finally said. _“I’m so grateful to have you.”_

***

_“I’m so happy she liked it.”_ Aden said as he started to get himself into his bed.

Lexa had hung out with them for a bit after they gave her the racoon, or Lexacoon as Aden had so proudly dubbed him. They told her about all the rides they went on and games they played. When Clarke had gotten up to go to the bathroom, Aden had plotted with Lexa to take a trip to go back to the store he had gone to and make a matching stuffed toy for his mom one day. She agreed of course, but said they needed to get him one as well so there would be a complete set for them. Something he was more than delighted about.

Lexa then told them about how she met Dana White, the offer he’d given and her acceptance of it. Aden was beyond excited for his idol because not only was she going to face another one of his favorites, but she was going to headline a UFC event for the very first time in her career. She’d been the Co-Main Event at her last fight, but she said she still couldn’t believe Dana was giving her this chance so quickly in her career. Clarke was equally happy for the fighter, and to celebrate she invited Lexa to join them for ice cream and cake at her favorite bakery tomorrow after her training with Aden.

_“I told you she would.”_ Clarke smiled and sat on the bed next her son.

_“I will never doubt you again mom.”_ Aden smiled. _“And thanks for inviting her for tomorrow…though…”_

Clarke raised a brow. _“What?”_

Aden looked at his mother for a second. He had an idea playing in his head for a while but wasn’t sure how to bring it up. He took a deep breath then finally asked, _“Do you…like Lexa, mom?”_

Clarke looked at him slightly shocked. **_‘Wait, what?’_** She wasn’t sure what he was asking in particular. Clarke always assumed Aden knew that the two women were friends since they all hung out together, she couldn’t imagine why he would think she didn’t like Lexa. _“What do you mean, Aden? She’s just as much my friend as she is yours.”_

_“That’s…not really what I was referring to…”_

Clarke’s brow quirked n question. _“…I don’t understand then…”_ **_‘What is he trying to ask me?’_**

Aden was fully aware his mother could be quite oblivious at times so he knew he had to be straight forward with her. He cleared his throat then sat up a bit. _“…do you…like, like Lexa…?”_

_“Like…like…?”_ Clarke scrunched her brows in confusion. **_‘What is he…OH CRAP!’_** Clarke gulped visibly as the question finally registered itself to her. _“…oh…well I-I…”_ She wasn’t sure how to answer this. It was bad enough that she always had Raven and Octavia teasing her about possibly crushing on the fighter, but now her own 13-year-old son seemed to be catching onto her as well.

_“She makes you smile mom.”_ Aden said after it seemed like Clarke was too stumped to answer. _“A lot actually.”_

Clarke could feel her cheeks warming up as her eyes locked with her clever son’s. _“…does she?”_

Aden smiled and nodded. _“Remember the other day when we all were sleeping over at Lexa’s?”_

Clarke nodded.

_“Well I had woken up a little early that morning to pee. When I got back into the room you were curled up in her arms, and laying on her chest. And her chin was resting on top of your head. You both were fast asleep but you also looked…happy.”_ Aden smiled a bit wider at the memory. _“And then there was tonight, when she picked you up and spun you around the kitchen. You both were smiling and laughing so much. Then you guys just kept looking at each other, like basically just lost in each other’s stare. I felt kinda invisible for a while.”_ Aden looked down at his hands as he started fettling with his fingers. _“The last time I’d seen adults like that together, other than in those cheesy movies you like to watch…was my parents.”_

Clarke listened intently to her son’s words. She never realized how much he had actually observed when they were all together. Truth be told she’d hadn’t really dated anyone since Aden came around. Not so much that she couldn’t land one, more that she wasn’t sure how he’d feel sharing her with another person. But it was different with Lexa. They had been basically sharing him the last few months as much as they shared time with one another. Yeah they weren’t dating, but she had been the only person who had been a stranger to them both and quickly became a working piece to their puzzled lives. Without really trying, Lexa had found a way into both their hearts as much as Clarke believed they were in hers. But Clarke had convinced herself all this time that dating Lexa would be too complicated of an issue because of their mutual bond with Aden. He was the glue that sealed them together after all. Yet here was that same entity, telling Clarke that he sees something blooming that she’d tried her best not to get wrapped up in. **_‘Kinda too late for that though, Clarkey.’_** She heard Raven saying in her head.

_“Tell her how you feel mom.”_

Clarke brought her attention back to her son as he spoke again.

_“I see how she looks at you too. Maybe…maybe she feels the same?”_ Aden placed an encouraging hand on Clarkes’.

She smiled at him then entwined her fingers with his smaller ones. _“Are you sure it wouldn’t bother you? I mean…me…and Lexa, together as a couple?”_

Aden’s smile grew wider than she’d ever seen at the thought. _“You know how cool it would be to tell my friends my mom is dating ‘The Commander’, Lexa Woods?”_

They both started laughing. _“Yeah, I guess that would give both of us a boost in our street cred.”_ She joked.

_“I just want you both to be happy, mom. And if Lexa does that for you, then that’s a bigger bonus.”_

Clarke fought back the need to cry. **_‘How’d I get so lucky to have this kid?’_** She rubbed her fingers through his hair then cupped her cheek. _“Thank you, Aden. I’m not sure what I did to gain such a smart boy as my son, but I am truly grateful.”_

_“Anytime, ma. Good luck winning the heart of the Commander.”_ He said, but deep down he felt his mother probably already succeeded in that task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this fluff fest I tried to create for you. As both a way of making myself smile, as well as you guys. Again, I apologize for the major gaps between my updates, life right? But I hope this was worth the wait for you. Did you like getting to see Clarke and Aden time as well as Clexen time towards the end? What do you think about Aden confronting Clarke about her feelings for Lexa? Do you think he plans to play a bigger part in this match making game? Do you want him to? Tell me what you think and how this chapter made you feel. Cuz I loves the feels. As always thanks for reading and I hope to have the next chapter up soon!


	14. “Don’t Be an Asshole to Society”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa’s POV. Lexa starts her training for her upcoming fight, and things get a bit antsy with Anya. There’s a heart-to-heart between the trio as well, while Anya and Luna decide to have fun, at Lexa’s expense.

Chapter 14: “Don’t Be an Asshole to Society”

_“You. Seriously think. That move would work. On Meisha?”_ Anya said between breaths as she breaks out of the triangle hold Lexa had placed her in.

_“No. But I know it works on your dumbass every time.”_ Lexa smirked smugly as she side-steps a punch Anya throws after she finished her sentence.

The two had been sparring for the last two hours, neither showing signs of stopping. Lexa had begun her training sessions with Gustus to prepare for her upcoming bout with one of her fighting idols. Probably her biggest idol, if you had asked her, at least in the women’s division. **_‘Next to Anderson Silva, Maurício Rua, and Georges St.-Pierre.’_** , if you really asked her for an in-depth answer. A lot of the strikes she tried to mimic in her own career came from all of those four fighters, as well as the retired wrestler/fighter Bill Goldberg; she eagerly awaits the day she can finally meet them in person, as well as a few others. Lexa never believed she’d ever be as great as any of those people, but she damn well put all her heart into trying to be.

The hours had grown into the dark ages as the two fighters threw strike after strike at one another. Lexa had been in the gym since 8am, practicing her combos on the equipment, and taking her nutritional supplements. Around 11am Gustus and the others had finally arrived at the gym, and Gustus immediately got to work with her. It had been awhile since Lexa had done a full 10-hour training session, but she was determined to beat her idol, Miesha Tate, no matter how much training she endured. 

Lexa’s thoughts were broken when she heard the familiar voice of her friend.

_“Fuck you.”_

_“Not in a million years.”_ Lexa chuckled. _“Plus, I bet Raven would be no fan of that.”_ Lexa joked, smug smile still firmly planted on her face.

_“Oh? And I’m sure Clarke would have a few choice words for her scrappy raccoon in that instant as well.”_

Lexa was taken aback by the statement so much so that her guard was lowered. Anya picked up on it immediately and lunged forward, taking Lexa down with a belly to belly throw, sending the younger woman crashing hard onto the mat. They scrambled a bit, Lexa doing her best to gain back her advantage over her sparring partner, but Anya seemed to be one step ahead of her. Once Lexa was on all fours, Anya on top of her back, the dirty blonde hooked her arms around Lexa’s neck, wrapped her legs around the brunette’s torso, and pulled her into a full body chokehold. Lexa tried her best to battle out of it, but Anya’s specialty was submissions, so doing so was not a task Lexa had fully been able to accomplish in this position causing the struggle to last for quite a while.

_“Enough!”_ Gustus called out once he was sure that Lexa was not going to be able to break the hold Anya had her in.

The two fighters broke apart and stood back up at his request. Anya smirking cockily as Lexa scowled at her companions’ outward display.

_“C’mon Gus!”_ Lexa argued. _“I totally could have gotten out of that.”_

Gustus crossed his arms over his chest before responding. “ _No, you were too distracted. You would have kicked and fumbled all the way into passing out.”_

_“I wasn’t distracted; I just was caught off guard is all.”_

_“Same difference in any case.”_ Gustus responded sternly. _“Any moment you allow yourself to be dominated is critical. Yes, this was all practice, but if that had been your next opponent in the ring with you, we’d be celebrating the very first loss of your career.”_

_“Gus, I had it under…”_

_“Enough, Heda. Hubris is not becoming of a great leader.”_ Gustus commanded. Lexa visibly swallowed and stood at attention, chin up with her arms at her sides. There weren’t a lot of people in the world Lexa allowed to challenge her, but Gustus and Indra were definitely the ones on the top of that list. Gustus was the man who made her into the caliber of a fighter she is now, so she respected his authority without question. _“We will break here. Take a moment to gather yourselves, then I want you both to head home. That’s enough for now, we’ll pick up from here first thing tomorrow. Understood?”_

_“Yes, sir.”_ Both women said in unison, slightly bowing their heads in a show of respect for the brolly man. Gustus nodded at them and gestured them to exit the ring, then went off to his office, barking orders at some of the other fighters training in the gym as he went. 

Lexa sighed then shook her head. She had to admit she was pretty disappointed in herself. She’s trained with Anya for years and the elder fighter almost never got the upper hand on her, but that all faltered at the sheer mention of the blonde woman whom has been a staple in her thoughts lately. **_‘This is fucking ridiculous. What’s wrong with me?’_** She hung her head low a bit before shaking it off and huffing. **_‘Now she’s turning into a distraction for me, and I can’t have that.’_** Lexa thoughts were interrupted when she felt a hand slap the back of her left shoulder.

Lexa winced in reaction then turned her head to the devilish smirking woman beside her. _“Looks like someone’s got a certain blondie under her skin.”_ Anya teased as she wiggled her brows.

Lexa could resist most teasing from people, but Anya, being one of her best friends and surrogate sister, knew exactly how to stir the blood in her veins. Lexa lifted her chin in defiance, huffed, then started walking off towards a bench that housed her duffle bag, actively ignoring her brash companion. **_‘I’m not gonna take her shit right now.’_**

Anya laughed, following behind as she watched Lexa going through her bag and pulling out a water bottle. _“No need to get ya boxer-briefs in a tizzy just because you turn into a bumbling idiot at the slightest mention of ya little girlfriend.”_

Lexa nearly choked at the last word. Anya laughed uncontrollably as the brunette coughed and tried to catch her breath.

_“Oh my god, Lex. Are you okay?”_ Luna asked as she sprinted over to help her friend.

Lexa patted her own stomach and took a few breaths as her coughing fit started to die down. **_‘Holy shit, the fuck.’_** Once Lexa was back to herself, she nodded as she responded, _“Yeahh, yeah. Just went down the wrong pipe.”_

_“Ya throat only has one pipe, numbnuts.”_ Anya retorted.

Lexa scowled at her older friend with frustration. _“Why don’t you shut the fuck up, crotchlicker?”_

_“Pot calling the kettle black much?”_ Anya snorted.

Lexa put down her water bottle, turned her body fully towards Anya and squared her shoulders as she spat out, _“I swear to whatever HOLY FUCKING BEING YOU BELIEVE IN that I’m gonna break your jaw right here, right now.”_

Anya scuffed at the threat and gave her a sly smirk, standing her own ground. _“Is that right?”_ Lexa nodded. _“Prove it.”_

Lexa snarled as she bawled her hands into fists. Immediately, Luna jumped in between them. _“Hey, hey, hey chill out you guys.”_ Both women didn’t move, but continued to stare each other down. _“What the hell is going on? Why are you guys so tense with each other?”_ Neither said a word still. _“Is this because you didn’t win the spar off just now?”_ Luna directed the question to Lexa.

Lexa huffed. _“No. It’s because your friend here is the biggest fucking asshole to society.”_

_“That’s ‘Miss Fucking Asshole to Society’ to you dumblebitch.”_ Anya fired back. _“Since we’re done for the day and you look a tad bit uppity, why don’t you go calm ya raging pussy down with the little artistic charmer?”_

**_‘That’s it, I’ve had enough of her shit.’_** Lexa was forced to stay in place when Luna backed her off as she tried to move towards the dirty blonde woman.

_“Enough you guys!”_ Luna demanded loud enough that a few of the other gym members stopped what they were doing to witness the tensely escalating scene before them. _“You both are making fools of yourselves.”_ At that both women broke their stare off and looked around them. They sighed as they realized they had an audience of their peers watching them and probably silently taking bets over who they thought would win the standoff. Turns out the winner was neither, but instead the shorter woman being the body barrier between them. Both women took deep breaths to calm themselves down as Luna had requested. Both shoulders slacking, fists unclenching, and chins lowered. _“Good, now why don’t we all just find a private spot, maybe get a bite to eat, and talk this through, shall we?”_ Both women nodded and all three walked together to grab their things and headed outside.

***

_“So, who would like to start telling me just what the hell went on back there?”_ Luna started as she looked between her two friends. They’d gone to their favorite taco truck stop not far from the gym. The three were currently sitting at their usual table. Luna sitting in the middle with the other two sat on the sides opposite of each other. The taco stop was always a place of neutral grounds, so Luna figured this was the best place to defuse the tension between her long-time buddies. Both women continued to sit quietly, just staring at one another, glares at their full force. Luna sighed. _“Now, you know I hate it when you guys fight. We’ve been through too much together to just turn on each other.”_ Both women’s eyes looked to her as she said that. _“C’mon guys, let’s just talk about this and work it out. You know you both hate being mad at one another as much as I do, right?”_ Both nodded, Luna smiled. _“Good, now go ahead.”_

Both women looked at each other again, silently debating. After a moment, Anya sighed then finally spoke, _“Commander love bucket here is just pissed off that I used her feelings for Clarke to distract her in our match and give me the advantage over her.”_

_“What the hell did you just call me?”_ Lexa scowled.

_“Commander love bucket.”_ Anya replied plainly. _“You know, cause you’re holding a rather large pale of love for that hot blondie.”_ Anya smirked then wiggled her brows teasingly.

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_ Lexa lied.

_“C’mon Lex, a blind person could see the lady-wood she gives you every time she’s even in the same room as you. Are you really that much in denial or are you just stupid? Personally, I think it’s the latter.”_

Lexa hit her fist against the table and snarled. _“Listen here, you bitch…”_

_“Stop it Lex.”_ Luna interrupted.

Lexa looked to Luna slightly surprised. _“You’re gonna take her side while she’s clearly being a dickhead to me?”_

_“No.”_ Luna replied. _“I don’t like that she’s being such a douchebag to you right now.”_ Luna looked sternly to Anya for a moment. Anya scoffed, then crossed her arms over her chest while she pouted like a child whom just got their favorite toy taken from them. Then Luna returned her attention to Lexa and gave her a small smile. _“That being said, there are truths in her words. You’ve already admitted in the past you had a crush on Clarke, no?”_ Lexa nodded as she relaxed a bit and listened to her more gentle friend. _“But the fact that dropping hints about her got into your head while you were in the middle of a fight, be it for practice or not, and it distracted you enough to lose, I think it’s a safe bet to say you feel a little more than just a crush for the woman.”_

Lexa’s eyes widened at the words Luna spoke. She knew she spoke true, they both did in all honesty, but a part of her still was trying to fight this undeniable attraction she harbored for the older woman. **_‘I’m such a damn fool.’_** Lexa thought to herself. She knew it was only a matter of time before her friends would call her out on her feelings for Clarke again. Last time they talked openly about it was a few months ago, when she admitted the crush she had on Clarke, but there was radio silence on the subject since then. Maybe the occasional teasing here and there, but never really a full-on discussion. Lexa was sure this was coming though considering how much she’s changed in the last few months since meeting Clarke and her son, Aden. **_‘I hate it when they’re right.’_**

After a while of looking between her friends, Lexa let out a breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding then spoke, _“You’re right…”_ she admitted. _“…you’re both right.”_

Anya and Luna looked at her in shock. When the second wore off though, a sly smirk weaseled its way on Anya’s face. _“I’m sorry Commander, what was that? I didn’t quite catch it.”_

Lexa glared at Anya. _“Must you always be such an asshole?”_

Anya chuckled. _“Nahh, I don’t think that’s what I heard. Try again.”_

Lexa huffed. _“I said, YOU’RE BOTH RIGHT.”_ She flipped Anya off with her middle finger as she ended her sentence.

Anya laughed. _“Called it.”_

Luna playfully punched Anya’s arm, then turned her attention to Lexa with a huge smile. _“Aside from Anya’s eternal words from her assholian core, doesn’t it feel a little better now that you’ve admitted that?”_

Lexa shrugged, turning her head away so she wasn’t looking at her friend as she felt her face warming.

_“Aweee, look at the big tough raccoon turning all bashful and shit.”_ Anya teased.

Luna chuckled. _“I can’t really argue that Lexa does look quite adorable with those blushing cheeks.”_

Lexa’s eyes widened then she snapped her head back towards her friends. _“I’m not blushing!”_

_“You sooo are.”_ Luna teased with a smile.

_“You’re redder than that mark you had on your ass that one time you fell off the stripper pole at Maggie’s place.”_ Anya laughed loudly.

_“Oh my god that’s so true!”_ Luna agreed as both friends laughed at the memory.

Their friend, Maggie Azgeda whom was the little sister of their buddy Roan Azgeda, had a stripper pole installed in her home a few years ago and invited them over to check it out. The women, along with a few other of Maggie’s friends, had taken turns doing stunts and being stupid on it. Luna managed to hang upside down with her legs wrapped around it for nearly 30 seconds, while Anya climbed to the top of it and twirled down. Lexa thought it would be a great idea to try and combine both moves and do it at once. A decision she’d live to regret. She was quite drunk that night, but was determined to impress one of Maggie’s friend whom she was hoping to score with that night. She climbed to the top of the pole, and wrapped her legs around it. Unfortunately, the minute she let her hands go off the pole she came crashing down on her ass, hard. She had a red/purplish bruise on the right side of her ass for about a week. She had a lot of explaining to do with Gustus the next day, and she didn’t even manage to get the girl she was after.

**_‘Overall one of the worst drunk decisions of my life.’_** Lexa thought to herself as she recalled the events. She slapped her hand against her forehead, then dragged it down her face. She glared at both her overly amused friends. _“You both swore to never bring that up again.”_

_“I don’t remember signing anything that said that.”_ Anya replied as their laughing started to die down.

_“Anya.”_ Lexa scolded.

_“Okay, okay. You’re right, we’re sorry.”_ Luna responded.

_“Maybe you are, I’m not. That was some funny shit, wish we had someone recording when it happened. I’m sure Clarke, Raven and Octavia would have gotten a kick outta that. Maybe I’ll tell them at the next girls night.”_

_“Anya!”_ Lexa shouted in embarrassment.

_“Stop it Anya, that’s not cool.”_ Luna argued. _“It’s fine teasing her when it’s just us, but I don’t think it’ll help her chances at landing Clarke.”_

_“Who said I wanted to…?”_

_“Don’t start lying to us again Lex.”_ Luna said as she looked pointedly at her friend. _“We all know how much you want her. I’m pretty sure you’d both make quite the power couple, and even be a standing force for Aden as his parents.”_ Luna smiled encouragingly.

**_‘Parent?’_** Lexa thought. _“A parent to Aden?”_

_“Well yeah. Being with Clarke, would mean you’d become Aden’s second parent technically.”_

_“Not necessarily.”_

_“Stop being such a bubblehead.”_  Anya interjected. _“We both know your cliché lextra ass would ask her to move in on the first date then go ahead and marry her on the second one.”_

Lexa scowled at Anya’s words. _“I would no...”_

_“I think you kinda would Lex.”_ Luna interrupted with an amused smile.

Lexa was starting to get beyond annoyed being the center of this unending teasing, so she decided to throw some shade of her own. _“You both are ones to talk. Anya is basically whipped around Raven.”_ Anya’s smirk fell at those words. **_‘One down.’_** Lexa’s face was the epitome of smug then turned to Luna and continued. _“And I see how the sparkles in your eyes come out every time you’re around Octavia.”_ Luna reacted by slightly choking on the drink she had started to sip. Lexa continued her verbal assault on Luna. _“By the way, how are things going between you two?”_

_“Umm…well…uhh…”_ Luna fumbled.

**_‘BINGO! Target hit.’_** Lexa mentally chanted in victory.

_“Wait, you’re hooking up with O!??”_ Anya asked in surprise.

_“We’re not…it’s not like that…we just…”_

_“Cat got your tongue much Lunabeam?”_ Lexa teased with a smug smile.

_“No…I-I…w-we…”_

_“Spill it!”_ Anya said. _“I wanna know when, how it happened, and how many orgasms.”_

Lexa chuckled and gave herself a mental high five. **_‘Worked like a charm.’_** Lexa playfully fist bumped Luna’s shoulder. _“Don’t be shy on us now.”_

Luna gave a deep sigh to calm her nerves before she admitted. _“Okay, okay. We haven’t slept together or anything, technically, but we started seeing each other the night after our last girls’ night at Lex’s house.”_

Both women looked at her with wide eyes. _“So, like almost a month now?”_ Lexa asked.

Luna nodded. _“Y-yeah…it wasn’t anything planned. We just get along so well and that morning we woke up snuggling together. It just…I never felt so at ease and comfortable with someone outside our immediate circle.”_ Luna smiled. _“I guess she felt the same ’cause the minute we both woke up and realized our position, she kissed me.”_

_“Wait, so O kissed you first??”_

Luna’s smile grew wider at the memory then nodded.

_“Well, fancy that.”_ Anya interjected. _“I knew your ass was as gay as the both of us, but I never pegged that O dabbled in the pussy pond.”_

Lexa chuckled at Anya’s crude remark. _“I hate to say it, but I agree with Anya. I mean I figured you’d had a crush on her for a while, but I thought O walked the straight and narrow line.”_

_“In all honesty she did.”_ Luna replied. _“She said before me she thought the little girl crushes she had now and then were nothing really since they didn’t last very long. But with me, she felt an instant attraction, both emotionally and physically.”_ Luna looked at both her friends, they nodded at her and she took that as a reason to continue. _“It scared her at first, and she said she never felt so connected to someone before, man or woman, and that morning when we woke up in each other’s arms, everything just sort of clicked, ya’know?”_

They nodded again. _“So we decided to just give it a shot. I wanted to tell you guys so badly, but I also didn’t want to jinx it in case things didn’t work out for some reason. But honestly it’s been so great so far. After we had our second date a few days ago, she decided to come out to her brother, Bellamy. I haven’t met him yet, but she said he acts like a father to her all the time, so she wanted him to be the first one she talked to before we revealed everything to you guys. He took it well though, so we were planning to open up about us the next time we all hung out.”_

Both her friends smiled genuinely at their blushing, bubbling companion. _“Does she make you happy?”_ Anya asked. Luna nodded gleefully. _“Then you have my blessing.”_ Anya replied softly, to both women’s surprise.

_“Well, hot damn. I think Anya just revealed she has a soul in that abyss of a body of hers.”_ Lexa joked. _“But I agree, as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”_

_“Since we’re all having this little party of confessionals, I guess I should share some news with you both.”_ Luna and Lexa looked at Anya with curiosity. _“Raven is moving in with me.”_

Both their eyes widened in surprise and their jaws practically broke through the table below them. _“You’re what!???”_ Lexa asked in astonishment.

Anya smirked. _“That’s right, I’m a damn living, breathing stereotype. We’ve been dating for nearly 5 months and I asked her to move in with me.”_

_“You!?? You asked her!??”_ Luna questioned.

_“Are you going deaf now that your head is buried between Octavia’s legs?”_ Anya replied and Luna’s face turned beet red. _“Yes, I asked her and she said yes. Then she tied me to her bed and we…”_

_“STOP! STOP! Too much. We got it, we got it.”_ Lexa exclaimed then laughed. _“We’re happy someone finally tamed your wild ass.”_

_“Couldn’t agree more.”_ Luna said as she smiled.

As the smiles and joy filled the table at the shared news, a thought occurred to Lexa. **_‘Wait, does that mean…’_** Lexa’s laughter came to a halt as she felt a chill run down her spine. **_‘They didn’t, did they…they wouldn’t…not without…’_**

_“Earth to Lexacoon over there.”_ Anya said, knowing that using the name of her new bedtime companion would gauge her attention. She waved her hand in front of Lexa’s face to break her concentration further. _“Ya thoughts are tight enough to choke a horse. What’s got you on edge all of a sudden?”_

Lexa gulped as she tried to figure out a way to voice her thoughts.

_“Yeah Lex, you look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”_ Luna added.

_“I-I…uhh…”_

_“Am I gonna have to start putting shock collars on you and miss fumbleton over here, and electrocute you every time you lose the ability to form words?”_ Anya said.

_“Shut up.”_ Lexa replied with a sharp look at the dirty blonde.

_“Then speak ya mind asscracker.”_

Lexa sighed, shook her nerves then said, _“Have you guys talked to either of them about what happened…you know, back then?”_

Both Anya and Luna’s faces paled at Lexa’s question. They looked at each other, then turned back to Lexa and shook their heads no.

_“Well since it looks like things are getting rather serious between all of you…you think you’ll tell them?”_ Lexa asked; her two friends remain in a state of what could be seen as terror as they thought to themselves quietly.

_“I-I…”_ Luna started after a while. _“I really don’t know…”_

_“Can’t say I do either…”_ Anya added.

Lexa nodded. _“Well, you do know it’s not really something we can hide from them forever, especially now, Anya. You know, since Raven will be living with you and all that jazz.”_

Anya didn’t say a word, an almost impossible feat in of itself, only nodded in response.

All three women sat dead silent as their minds all dwelled to the same subject. Their past. It was a burden they all carried with them over the years. More like a curse than mere memories, but a pained subject equally distributed among them. Once they were free they swore never to speak of it again, to anyone. Well, they meant to, but they did end up sharing it with Gustus and Indra. It was kind of unavoidable. But they never thought they’d have to share it again and they could just bury their pasts like… ** _’We’re foolish to have thought that was even possible.’_** Lexa thought to herself. Even so, talking about it with others wasn’t something they did, not without great reason such as unconditionally love/loyalty or situationally necessity, or permission. They swore to each other that they’d only talk to other people about what happened to them back then if it was agreed upon unanimously. It was heavy enough that it could endanger all of their lives. Thankfully, after Gustus and Indra, that decision never had to be brought up…until now. But telling these women whom have come to play important parts in all of their lives, would mean risking the possibility of losing them as well. Something none of them thought would become a genuine concern, or something they wanted to happen.

_“So, um.”_ Luna broke the silence, gaining the attention of her friends. _“So…what do you guys wanna do?”_

They all looked between each other and thought over the question.

_“Do you love her?”_ Luna asked Anya. Anya didn’t say anything. _“Do you love Raven?”_

Anya stared at Luna for a moment before she answered with a nod then asked Luna, _“Do you love Octavia?”_

A small smile developed on Luna’s lips with a blush across her cheeks. _“I think I could, yeah.”_

They smiled at each other at their mutual realization, then turned their attention to Lexa whom was watching them both with terrified eyes.

_“So Lex,”_ Luna asked calmly. _“This is more your story to be told than ours if we’re being really honest.”_ Anya nodded in agreement. _“So I guess now the question falls to you,”_ Lexa visibly swallowed the knot in her throat as she awaited the inevitable question Luna was dancing around. _“…do you love Clarke?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does she or does she not? That is the question. Did you guys enjoy seeing the trio together again? Were you surprised and/or delighted with Anya and Luna’s news? Are you wondering what the three of them are hiding among them? 
> 
> Tell me your thoughts and predictions if you have them, I love hearing from you guys. As always I thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m already working on the next chapter, so next update should be sooner than I have been posting, which again I apologize for. But as long as you guys are still interested, I’ll still keep going.


	15. “Got You on My Mind”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke & Lexa’s POV. The two get an in-prompt to one-on-one girls’ night together. Laughs and fun times are shared, as well as a serious unfolding; and Clarke has something to ask Lexa. ***BEWARE of the Clexa fluffiness, with a dash of angst for good measure.

Chapter 15: “Got You on My Mind”

_“C’mon Lex!!”_ Clarke called from the couch in Lexa’s living room. _“I’m dying of thirst over here.”_

Lexa chuckled at the seemingly impatient blonde lounging around at her house. _“Keep ya socks on, I’m almost done.”_ She says as she finishes the mixed drink she was preparing for them at her kitchen counter. Once done, she grabbed both mugs and made her way towards her living room. The minute she got there a smile came across her face as she watched Clarke. She was laying comfortably along her couch with Titus snuggling right along with her while she massaged his ears and looked through the immense selection on Netflix.

Lexa wasn’t entirely sure how she got lucky enough to be in the spot she’s in now. One moment she was sitting outside under the chilly October breeze at her favorite taco spot, being asked the most terrifying question in her life; the next she’s home, having a Netflix and chill session while drinking with the girl whom was the endpoint of said question.

***2 hours ago***

They smiled at each other at their mutual realization, then turned their attention to Lexa whom was watching them both with terrified eyes.

_“So Lex,”_ Luna asked calmly. _“This is more your story to be told than ours if we’re being really honest.”_ Anya nodded in agreement. _“So I guess now the question falls to you,”_ Lexa visibly swallowed the knot in her throat as she awaited the inevitable question Luna was dancing around. _“…do you love Clarke?”_

**_‘Shit…’_** Lexa looked at them like a deer caught in the headlights. **_‘…love…’_** She thought to herself. **_‘….do….do I love….’_** A beat of sweat traveled down the side of her face as she internally interrogated herself. Feelings weren’t one of Lexa’s strong points. Far from it in fact. Anya always called her an emotional retard, something she found very offensive and yet not so far off the mark. But even she knew that what she was feeling for Clarke was more. **_‘…but more…what?’_** That was the tick biting into the flesh of her mind. She could easily place Clarke on the list of her favorite people in the world, probably at the top of it, save for Aden of course, but she couldn’t tell you with her own words as to why.

Love was like a phantom to her. It’s shear meaning and intensity were like the exams in life she was grateful she never had to endure. She couldn’t really understand it outside of the sake of family. She knew familiar love, knew it very well, now at least. It had taken her a long time to fully grasp its’ concept; to accept its power and influence in her life, but recent events made that something she could outwardly admit to. **‘ _The love of family_.’** Lexa loved her father. Loved him like no other, and it was with that example that she could tell you she definitely loved the ones she held in her immediate circle: Anya, Luna, Titus, Gustus, Indra, Ryder, Nyko, Marcus, Roan, Maggie, and now young Aden, the culprit of bringing the acceptance part into play. **_‘But Clarke…’_** Clarke. What she felt for the woman wasn’t familiar. Maybe some strain of it, and yet, nowhere near it really. It was all very confusing at its core essence, but Lexa knew that much because… ** _’…my heart beats differently for her…’_**

_“Earth to Commander.”_

Lexa caught a breath she didn’t know she was holding in as her mind snapped back to reality. She turned her attention to two sets of confused, waiting eyes. She could see they were both equally concerned as they watched their probably dumbfounded friend conversing with a silent audience.

_“You with us now Lex?”_ Anya asked.

Lexa nodded, words not finding their way to her throat.

_“Look, Lex, we get the whole being scared about dealing with your feelings bit.”_ Anya continued with a rare softness in her vocals. _“No one gets that about you more than I do.”_

Lexa nodded to let Anya know she understood.

_“I know that love is something that none of us...”_ She says as she gestures a finger pointing at everyone at the table including herself. _“…really has had any, if at all, experience with it outside of our ‘perfect circle’ (she says with air quotes) of friends, but…”_ She rests her forearms on the wooden table beneath them and she clasps her hands together. _“…but I for one can say without a shadow of a doubt that I would like nothing more than to spend the rest of my days with that insanely annoying Latina who’s probably gonna wanna send our future kids into space one day just to win a bet.”_ Anya chuckles and a small smile plays on her face at the thought of the fiery woman, a softness only Raven could muster onto the hardened woman’s face. She sighed then continued. _“The way I see you look at blondie…I’m pretty sure it’s the same stupid look I have on my face when I look at Raven. Though if anyone asks, I will deny everything being shared at this table.”_

All the women shared in combined laughter at the last bit. At the same time Lexa took a minute to let Anya’s reveal sink into her mind. She was proud of Anya for being able to admit her feelings for Raven. She never would have thought Anya had it in her to unveil such inner truths, considering the path life took her down even before she met Luna and herself, but if she could find the words to say what she has discovered… ** _’…then maybe…’_** she thought to herself. **_‘…do I wanna spend the rest of my life with her…?’_**

*BUZZ BUZZ*

Lexa’s thoughts are interrupted by the sudden vibration of her phone. She takes the device out of her pocket, and it takes everything in her not to smile widely as she reads who it is from as well as the contents. **_‘Speak of the devil.’_**

Message from Hot Mama Clarke: _“So mom has Aden tonight again, and I’m kinda lonely. *sad face emoji* do you know if Titus is up for some company?”_

Lexa chuckles then replies.

Message to Hot Mama Clarke: _“I’m sure he would be thrilled to see you”_

Message from Hot Mama Clarke: _“And how about his badass owner?”_

Lexa smiled.

_“I can tell who that is.”_ Luna teased.

_“With a dopy look like that it only be one person.”_ Anya added, her characteristic bravado returning to form.

_“Shut up.”_ Lexa said, yet her eyes were still glued to her phone as she typed out her response.

Message to Hot Mama Clarke: _“She would be more than delighted to join in the fun. I’m just finishing up with Anya and Luna. Wanna meet me at my place in 20mins?”_

Message from Hot Mama Clarke: _“Count me in! *wink emoji* And tell them I said hi!”_

Message to Hot Mama Clarke: _“Will do, see you soon mamabear.”_

Lexa put her phone away then scowled at her two friends who were giving her mischievous grins. _“Clarke says hi by the way.”_ Lexa lifts herself up and starts to gather her things.

_“So wifey calls and you come runnin’ huh?”_ Anya continued to poke fun at Lexa.

_“Aden is with Abby tonight, so she wanted to hang with me and Titus ‘cause she’s lonely.”_ Lexa tried to explain.

_“Titus is the greatest dog in the world.”_ Luna replied with a genuine smile. _“But I’m sure he’s just an excuse to see you.”_

_“Whatever.”_ Lexa played it off. She threw away her trash, ignoring the giggling of her comrades. She’d find a way to get them back sooner or later now that she had her own information on them. _“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”_

_“Of course.”_ Luna replied with a nod.

_“Feel free to do whatever me and Raven would do. Let me know if you need my extra pair of cuffs.”_ Anya added, causing Lexa’s face to be consumed by redness and Luna to bust out laughing.

_“You’re an evil bitch Anya.”_ Lexa replied.

_“Yeah, so I’ve heard.”_ Anya shrugged.

Lexa huffed then turned on her heels and headed home to meet Clarke.

_“And don’t think you’re off the hook commander racoon!”_ Anya shouted behind her, Luna still laughing in the background.

Lexa sighed heavily. **_‘I swear I’m gonna kill her someday.’_**

***Present***

Her friends probably weren’t too thrilled about her sudden departure, considering she left their question completely answered. **_‘But when the woman calls, I come running it seems.’_** She thought to herself. Lexa chuckled a bit as she echoed the same phrase spoken moments ago by her annoying spirit sister. Her gaze returned to the still lounging blonde and her equally lazy Rottie. She really wasn’t expecting to hear from Clarke, it was quite the pleasant surprise; but in this moment, she certainly did not regret the choice to side step her friends’ conversation for the newly introduced company.

_“What you over there chuckling about?”_ Clarke asked as she stopped rubbing Titus’ ears and shifted her attention to the brunette behind the couch.

Lexa shook her head. _“Nothing really. Just plotting out ways to get back at Anya tomorrow.”_ She said as she walked around the couch, sitting the two drinks on the end table and looking at the two resting comfortably on her sofa. _“Any plans to let me join in here at all?”_

Clarke chuckled then stretched her legs even further down the couch, taking up all available space. _“What’s the password?”_

Lexa cocked a brow. _“Please?”_ She tried.

Clarke shook her head no.

**_‘Someone’s feeling playful today.’_** Lexa smirked. _“Pretty, pretty please?”_

Clarke acted as if she were considering that answer then shook her head no once more. _“Try again.”_ She said with a teasing smile, bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

 Lexa felt a warmth building within her belly from the gesture. Clarke could be flirty with her at times, which she was a fan of, but it made the whole ‘friends’ borderline a bit blurry sometimes. **_‘I swear she knows what it does to me.’_** She cleared her throat and did her best to ignore the steadily growing arousal she felt stacking within her. Instead she commanded Titus to leap off the couch with the flick of her hand, then started tickling Clarke’s feet.

***

_“Yipe!”_ Clarke shrieked at the sudden assault on her bare toes. She knew Lexa would find some way of getting her to move, but she did not foresee this happening at all. Clarke thought moving her feet would be enough to stop the unbearable act, but that was disproven as Lexa followed her movements and continued her tickle attack. _“Oh my god Lex, stop! I give!”_

_“Nah uh, that’s not the password!”_ Lexa replied. _“Get her Titus!”_ At the command, Titus barked then started licking Clarke anywhere that was exposed. From her hands, to her arms, and even her face.

_“Titus! You! Traitor!”_ She yelled in between uncontrollable laughter.

She swung her arms around, trying her best to defend herself against the double attack from the fighter and her canine companion. Clarke attempted to escape by getting off the couch, but Lexa grabbed her legs and pulled her back onto it. Lexa shifted her weight so now she was on top of Clarke and continued to tickle her, abandoning Clarke’s feet instead for her sides and under her arms. Clarke continued flailing her arms, doing her best to push away Titus’ kisses, while playfully hitting Lexa’s shoulders at the same time. Clarke hated being tickled. HATED IT. But in this moment, she wasn’t really bothered by it. **_‘Not with Lexa.’_** She thought briefly between her fits of laughter. If it were anyone else Clarke would have been cursing them out or throwing anything not nailed to the floor at them in retaliation. But then she heard Lexa laughing along with her and it was the most beautiful sound she’d ever had the pleasure of hearing. **_‘I’d never wanna be the reason that stopped.’_** So, she held back, and let the brunette have her fun this time around.

Once it became too much she finally begged. _“Please Lex! Please, please I can’t! I can’t! I’m sorry!”_

Those must have been the magic words because Lexa had finally stopped and gestured for Titus to do the same. _“And that’s how you win a war.”_ Lexa smirked slyly as she remained hoovered over the blonde.

 Clarke tsked at her words the said, _“You win nothing. I’ll get you next time.”_

_“I look forward to it mamabear.”_ Lexa winked.

**_‘Oh, shit…’_** It took all of Clarke’s will power to keep herself from blushing with excitement. Enough damage could be done to Clarke just from looking at Lexa regularly, if her recent purchases of new underwear weren’t proof enough, but this current situation was about to be her undoing. The feeling of the oddly soft hands of the fighter on the bareness of her skin, due to the slight rise of her shirt during the ordeal; staring into soul devouring green eyes that conquered her every thought for months now; the warmth from the muscular frame above her own body, slowly carving right into her sanity. She could feel her heart racing with invisible competitors. Her desire for the woman before her was seemingly unmatched. **_‘I’m done for at this rate.’_**

_“Clarke?”_

Clarke took in a sudden breath as she regained her senses. With the slightly concerned look on Lexa’s face, she remembered where she was, and in doing so remembered whom she was with, as well as what they were to each other. **_‘Snap out of it Clarke. Lexa is your friend. Act like a normal human being dammit!’_** Clarke shook her head then used the little strength she had to speak in a convincing tone. _“Uh, yeah sorry. Just trying to calm down from all the fun you and Titus just had.”_

Lexa’s look of concern wiped away instantly and she laughed. **_‘Damn that sexy laugh.’_**

_“My bad.”_ Lexa replies as she finally makes an effort to move off of Clarke. As she’s moving to a sitting position on the opposite side of the couch she pulls Clarke up as well to help her do the same. _“I forget how much it sucks to be the loser.”_

_“Oh, haha, you’re so funny commander.”_ Clarke deadpans. She fixes herself a bit before throwing the remote at Lexa. _“Now the victor can reap the spoils.”_

Lexa looked at her slightly confused. An eyebrow almost disappearing into her hairline.

Clarke chuckled then answered the silent question. _“Pick what we’re watching. I’ve tried to find something, but I have no idea what to pick.”_

Lexa nodded in understanding. She grabbed the remote and started search through the selections. _“Well what you in the mood for?”_

Clarke shrugged then took one of the drinks off the end table. _“Nothing in particular. I basically invaded your house enough already, so I am at your mercy.”_

Lexa turned her head to look at Clarke, a mischievous smirk making its way onto her face. Clarke cocked a confused brow at the brunette as she started to sip at the mixed drink Lexa had made. _“So what you’re saying is we can watch anything huh?”_

Clarke continued to eye her suspiciously and nodded.

Lexa’s smirk grew a few inches bigger. _“In that case, what’s your stance on porn?”_

**_‘Wait, what?’_** Completely taken aback by the random question, Clarke nearly choked on the drink she was sipping, spitting some of it out onto the table in front of her. _“Oh my god, what?”_

Lexa started dying of laughter, Titus barking in tantum as if he was in on the joke as well. After a beat Lexa finally answered. _“So, that’s a firm no then?”_ She teased.

Clarke playfully punched Lexa in the arm, the fighter was unfazed as she continued her laughter. _“You’re such an ass, Lex.”_ Clarke pouted with her brows scrunched.

_“I had to. And it was totally worth it.”_ Lexa said as she finally started to calm down. _“You had to admit you set that up completely.”_

Clarke rolled her eyes then mumbled, _“Whatever.”_ , as she continued drinking her drink, a small smile seated into the cup.

_“Okay, okay. I’m sorry babe.”_

Clarke had to keep herself in place as her heart skipped a beat from the endearing term. She wasn’t sure why Lexa used it. She knew it was meant to be nothing more than friendly, and yet it made her feel special somehow. Like maybe she was the only one Lexa had ever used it with. She couldn’t say for sure if that were fact or not, but she definitely wasn’t going to ask. **_‘Don’t need to dig myself in a bigger hole at this point.’_** She concluded. So, she kept drinking her drink, as Lexa refocused on choosing something for them to watch. After moment Lexa finally settled on something Clarke found quite surprising.

_“Dawson’s Creek? Really?”_ Clarke looked at her skeptically.

_“What?”_ Lexa questioned nonchalantly. _“It’s one of the greatest shows to come out of the 90’s and 2000’s in my opinion.”_  

Clarke chuckled at her answer. _“I can’t say I ever pictured you watching this at all to be honest. I love it, personally, but you don’t seem the type.”_

_“I may be a badass mothafucker, but even I am shipping Pacey and Joey super hard.”_ Both women laughed at Lexa’s comment. Clarke couldn’t argue with that fact at all.

Clarke smiled. _“I have to admit I ship them too.”_

_“See, I knew we were meant to be friends. Don’t tell Anya that though. We’ve only just started watching this some time ago and she’s so team Dawson, it’s unbelievable.”_

_“Seriously!?”_ Clarke yells.

Lexa laughs and nods.

_“Well, you guys are in for a pleasant surprise.”_

They giggled a little more before finally settling down and watching the show. Clarke pulled up her feet onto the couch and settled into the back cushions, while Lexa did the same on the other side. Titus had decided to join them and nestled himself right in the middle of the two. His head rested on Clarke’s curled legs, while his backside leaned up against his owners’. Clarke felt completely at ease in this moment. Just relaxing with her favorite fighter and her dog, watching one of her childhood favorite shows.

Every once in a while, she would sneak glances at the brunette. Lexa was completely captivated by the goings on in the show, she didn’t even notice Clarke. Lexa’s eyes were glued to the screen, drinking with one hand and absentmindedly stroking Titus with the other. **_‘She’s too cute.’_** Clarke thought as she observed the fighter completely uncensored and at peace. Clarke smiled to herself, then returned her attention to where it was supposed to be. Clarke hadn’t mentioned it to Lexa, but Dawson’s Creek held a very special place in her heart. The fact that Lexa seemed to enjoy it too was quite the bonus.

***

A few episodes in, Lexa’s attention was taken away from the screen when she heard a silent sniffle. Lexa turned her heard slightly and saw Clarke trying to discreetly wipe away a tear with one hand while rubbing Titus’ head with the other. **_‘Oh no.’_** Concern took a hold over Lexa as she could feel, more than see the sadness coming off of her friend. Lexa instinctively paused the show, and called out her. _“Clarke?”_

Clarke mumbled a _“Hmm?”_ Then wiped her face once more before turning her attention to Lexa.

_“Are you okay?”_ Lexa asked sincerely.

_“Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry.”_ Clarke sniffled. _“This episode just gets to me every time.”_

They had made it to the part where Dawson’s father had died suddenly. It took a moment for it to register, but Lexa finally got a thought. _“Does it make you think of your own father?”_ She asked as kindly as possible.

Lexa could see Clarke stiffen a bit, a rare thing in of itself, but also a telling sign. Another tear suddenly fell from Clarke’s eye and she did her best to wipe it away quickly. That was all the answer Lexa needed though. She quickly shut off the show, gestured Titus to move to the floor, then made her way across the sofa.

_“Lex, no. I’m okay, you don’t have to…”_ Clarke tried to protest.

_“Shhh…”_ Lexa responded. Once in Clarke’s space, she quickly wrapped an arm around her shoulder, then pulled the other woman into her own body. Clarke had been very comforting to Lexa when she opened up about her parents. **_‘No way in hell I’m not gonna return the favor.’_** So, she hugged Clarke closely into her chest, and rubbed circles into her back. That gesture seemed to do the trick, because instantly Clarke began to sob into Lexa’s neck. It was a tad bit frightening to see the strong woman Lexa had come to know breaking apart in front of her. Clarke was always smiling, always happy. But in this moment, she was fragile, pained. Vulnerable in a way Lexa had never thought she’d witness, but Lexa was well versed in this area. **_‘If there’s one thing I know, it’s loss.’_**

_“It’s okay, Clarke.”_ Lexa said after letting the blonde sob some. _“You’re safe. I’m here.”_ Clarke nodded and let herself break down a little more in Lexa’s arms. Lexa allowed it, and coiled her arms in near anaconda like grip. Showing the woman beside her that she would be her strength in her moment of weakness.

A few minutes later, Clarke finally started showing signs of calming down. Her sobs turned into light sniffles, and she started to slowly pull away from the fighter’s vice. Lexa remained silent and only observed diligently as Clarke wiped her face of the remaining tears and snot. Lexa couldn’t help the small smile that played on her expression. _‘Even when you should look a complete mess, you’re still beautiful.’_

Clarke’s eyes snapped up immediately and looked at Lexa with a bit of shock.

**_‘Oh shit, did I say that out loud?’_** She internally questioned. If the look on Clarke’s face was anything to go by, then that was a yes. _“Uhh, I mean…”_ Lexa fumbled with her words.

A small smile broke through Clarke’s still tear stained face. _“It’s alright. Thank you though, it’s nice of you to say. I’m sure it’s not true, because I feel like I look like a complete disaster.”_ She giggled at Lexa’s wide eyes.

Lexa couldn’t fight her own need to smile. Clarke’s laughter always seemed to have that effect on her. She decided to add a little more to it to increase the effort. _“Nahh, you still look better than Scar Jo on any given day.”_

Clarke started to genuinely laugh at that. _“Now I know you’re absolutely delusional.”_

Lexa just shrugged her shoulders and gave Clarke a playful smile. **_‘Glad that helped a bit.’_**

_“I’m sorry for getting all emotional like that all of a sudden.”_ Clarke finally said. _“It’s just…it’s just that Dawson’s Creek was one of my family favorite shows. I remember every week when it would come on, me, mom, and my dad would gather on the couch and just enjoy it together.”_ Clarke smile turned to one of slight sadness. Lexa wanted to do something to help, but she figured it was best to just stay silent and listen while her friend opened up to her. _“He was team Pacey too. Said he reminded him of himself when he was young. Acted all tough and cocky on the outside, when on the inside he was nothing but a hopeless romantic mush, especially around Joey.”_ Clarke chuckled a bit. _“Mom said that’s what made her fall for him in the first place.”_

Lexa gave Clarke a tender smile as she looked into the ocean of her eyes. _“He sounds like he was an interesting man.”_

Clarke smiled back at her with equal affection, a glint of mutual appreciation passing through their gazes. _“He was.”_

Lexa was no stranger to the fact that Clarke had lost her father years ago, but she had yet to learn how he had met his fate. Lexa finally ripped her eyes away from Clarke’s intense stare and tried to pay attention to something else while she deliberated the nagging within herself. She wasn’t sure if it was her place to ask or not, but she couldn’t fight the curiosity sitting at the back of her mind.

***

_“If you don’t mind me asking…”_ Clarke had a feeling what was coming. Lexa’s expression showed one of concern battling curiosity. She knew that look. After a second Lexa finally turned her attention back to Clarke fully, determination pained in the green of her eyes. Clarke took in a deep breath as she waited for the inevitable. _“…how…how did he die?”_

Clarke sighed heavily as the familiar question ran through the tense, yet comfortable atmosphere. She knew that they would eventually have this talk sooner or later, she wasn’t afraid, but she never felt ready no matter who it was with. The loss of her father was the deepest of all her wounds. Not that she had as many as some, but it was definitely the most taxing for her personally. It was only the people closest to her or people who were around when it happened that knew about Jake. She declined to talk about him when asked during interviews with small art publishing magazines or if people asked about certain works she made that were in his memory. Anyone who read a newspaper back in 2003 knew the end that Jake Griffin met, seems like Lexa was not one of the many.

_“You don’t have to…”_ Lexa finally spoke after Clarke was silent for a moment too long for comfort. _“…I just was curious is all. You don’t talk about him much, so…I thought it might help I guess.”_

Clarke gave Lexa an understanding smile. She took Lexa’s hand that wasn’t on her shoulder, and placed it in her lap, enclosed within her own grasp. She looked at the long fingers of the fighter and played with them for a moment. **_‘She told me her story not long ago. It’s only fair that she should know mine.’_** With that conclusion Clarke let out a calming breath.

She continued to keep her gaze locked on the fingers she was toying with, a nervous habit of hers, as she finally spoke. _“He was only supposed to be gone for few days. That’s what he said. He was a chemist and miraculous engineer, very renown in his field. He was a textbook genius by all accounts and he was requested to assisted with a satellite launch at the Alcântara Launch Center in Brazil. It was a great honor for him personally, he was obsessed with space. It was his dream to do something involving it before he ever dared to retire. The opportunity finally showed itself, and there was no way he was going to say no.”_ Clarke stopped for a second to take a deep breath. She closed her eyes and got a handle on her emotions as best she could before she continued, a slight shake in her vocals. _“I don’t really remember all of the details but, something went wrong during the launch of the rocket they had built and there…there was an…an explosion…”_

Clarke saw more than felt the tears that left her eyes. The drops landing on the skin of the fighter beside her like rainfall on a pavement. That familiar pain took over before she could even begin to fend it off. _“…he…he was on of…o-of the 21 people that died that day…”_ She did her best to explain with broken words. _“…t-there was almost nothing left of him…his body was burned to the point where he was almost unrecognizable. They were only able to identify any of the people through dental records…”_ She began to sob again at the memory of the closed casket funeral they were forced to have. She and her mother, Abby, were the ones whom had to I.D. his belongings. _“…when police asked if mom wanted to see his body she said yes. She told me to stay behind, but I begged her…I begged her to let me go with her…”_ Clarke sniffled. _“…I just…I…”_

_“…you had to see for yourself…”_ Lexa finished.

Clarke looked back towards Lexa. It gave her comfort to see the not pity, but pure understanding staring back at her. Because she did. Lexa did understand. Like Aden, Lexa shared in this loss that weighed heavily on her heart. The empathy within the forest of her eyes was unashamed, and abundantly clear. It warmed Clarke to know that Lexa cared so deeply and did nothing to hide it as she thought Lexa would normally do. Clarke’s words abandoned her in this moment, so instead she nodded her answer.

Lexa cupped her hand on the side of Clarke’s face and gently rubbed away the tears that fell. Lexa then brought Clarke into a tender embrace and wrapped her muscular arms around the blonde as tightly as possible. Not constricting, but cradling. Clarke instinctively buried her head into crook of Lexa’s neck and nuzzled into her warmth. Taking in the treasure of it all as much as she could. Lexa allowed it, resting her chin atop her head and stroking her fingers affectionately through her golden strands. Clarke never felt more safe, protected in her life while she was at her most vulnerable. The overwhelming sense of calm she began to feel reminded her of the times when her father would hold her when she was sick or upset. The resemblance was uncanny at most. Lexa made her feel like the world wouldn’t come to an end if she broke down, like she had someone she could look to when she felt like she was falling. **_‘Lexa…she’s my person.’_** Clarke’s tears stopped with that realization and the pain was replaced with that loving and contentment.

_“…thank you…”_ Clarke finally said into Lexa’s neck.

Lexa carefully pulled aware enough so they could look at each other directly. _“For what?”_

Clarke gave her the warmest of smiles. _“For being, well, for being you.”_

Lexa faces turned different shades of red, from embarrassment Clarke assumed, and she chuckled at it. Lexa seemed to be at a loss for words, so she nodded.

_“Will...you…”_ Clarke cleared her throat. _“…can you just keep holding me a little longer?”_

She watched as Lexa visibly gulped, but nodded her head in approval.

**_‘It’s now or never Clarkey.’_** Clarke thought to herself before she spoke again. _“And also, um, well the gallery opening is finally coming up next week…and I was wondering if you’d be my guest of honor for the event?”_

Lexa’s eyes widened at the request. It seemed equal parts shocked as well as confused.

Clarke thought it was a bad sign so she immediately tried to scramble out a follow up, _“…um, I mean if you’re not busy or anything. Everybody is supposed to be coming like mom, Aden, and I think Raven and are inviting Anya and Luna along with them…I k-know you’ve got training and stuff to do for your own event a-and I know art isn’t really your thing as well as the whole partying with pretentious asshats and the like but…”_

_“I’d love to.”_ Lexa finally interrupted.

_“Huh?”_

_“I’d be more than honored to go as your guest, Clarke.”_ Lexa replied with big smile that were equal parts excited and humbled.   

_“Really?”_ Clarke had to ask again to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

Lexa nodded and said affectionately, _“I’m no fan of hanging with people in their penguin suits, but for you, I’ll go to a hundred of them with a smile on my face.”_

Clarke’s smile radiated like the sun at that answer and she jumped into Lexa’s lap, hugging her neck ever so tightly. _“Thank you, Lex.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. I meant to have this up so much sooner, but between the depressing results of that election and getting the flu, I just didn’t have the energy. Better late than never, though right? Lol anyways, what did you guys think? Did you like getting to Clexa being goofyballs? Did you miss the lovable Titus? Was it interesting finally getting to know what happened with Jake? (I based it around an actual event that occurred in real life. If you wanna know a little about it then here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VLS-1_V03) Was it nice to see the roles reversed for once? Are you excited about the upcoming Gala? 
> 
> Please, share with me your thoughts, question or praise if you have them. Btw I know Dawson’s Creek is no longer on Netflix, but I don’t really care. It’s fanfiction after all, right? Lol I’ll try to have the next update here soon, but it probably will be a little while since holidays are coming up and I have a few video projects to finish. That being said, I hope you all are still enjoying my story!


	16. “After I've Cried My Last, there’ll be…”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa’s POV. The grand Gala, aka Clarke’s major art show, is upon us. Part 1 of 2. (I apologize for any mistakes. I only got a chance to reedit a couple of times, but I missed things I'm sure.)

Chapter 16: “After I've Cried My Last, there’ll be…”

The first thing she noticed were colors. So many, so vibrant. An abundance of dancing shades among walls that mostly housed whited interiors. The lights of the room were dim but completely illuminated each speck of color with character and willingness. There wasn’t a time in Lexa’s life that she could remember seeing so much beauty surrounding her. And yet here she is. A blip in a scene of thousands, drinking in the atmosphere as if it were the first rainfall after a month-long drought. It is true when she says that art was never really her thing, but standing in this crowded room, engulfed by the magnificence of Clarke Griffin’s imagination was simply put. **_‘A breathtaking experience.’_**

The halls were decorated with various hues of abstracts and portraits. Some of which telling stories that only the author themselves’ knew the truth behind, leaving the observers to guess and infer upon them. No two ideas matching; all equally unique in their purpose. Sure enough, this was not the world Lexa was too familiar with, but one she felt a sense of honor to be an audience of. As Lexa made her way through the glistening halls of the art gallery her friend called her ‘second home’, she felt herself feeling somewhat out of her element, but oddly comfortable. She remembers hearing all the passion in Clarke’s voice when she spoke about art and it’s many complexities. She never really grasped it until now.

_“Well, well look what the cat dragged in.”_

Lexa smirked at the familiar voice, then turned to meet its owner. _“It’s been far too long Hispanic spit-fire.”_

Raven gave her signature half smile as she and her beau Anya approached her. _“Too long indeed. You don’t call, you don’t write. I’m starting to feel like you only ever give two shits about me because of the Asian half-breed we share.”_

Lexa laughed hard at the comment (considering she and Raven text quite often to each other. Mostly about the shows they watch together or arguing over different ships and such), while her best friend scowled at her companion hanging off her arm. _“Really Reyes?”_

_“Awee baby love, don’t be sour. I adore those slanting eyes and devilishly tasteful cheekbones of yours.”_ Raven winked at her, as well as affectionately rubbed the side of her face with a slender finger.

Lexa smiled to herself as she watched the boiling fire within Anya instantly douse at the touch, and a small smile played on the dirty blonde’s lips. **_‘Wow, to think she could be so properly tamed. Asshole is definitely in love with this woman.’_** But she also knew that look Anya was giving Raven would probably lead to things she DID NOT want to be witness to. She clears her throat to get their attention. Once they break out of the shared longing looks, they turned their attention back to her.

_“So, you guys look really nice tonight. I’m guessing Ray here is the one that convinced you to fem it up tonight?”_ Lexa asked teasingly.

Like herself, Anya usually preferred the ‘lazy yet comfortable’ look, but tonight Anya was dressed in a long red sleeveless dress with a slit exposing a good amount of her right leg. It fit comfortably to her defined figure, while also showing off her muscular frame in complimentary way. Her hair was put up in a high messy ponytail, with some strands falling along the sides of her face. Her partner was wearing a knee-high black sleeveless dress, with a bit of a cut in the middle displaying her belly. Her hair was down and straightened, a very rare occurrence, and she had a dressy black glittered scarf wrapped around her shoulders. They looked like the perfect, high class power couple.

_“Shut up.”_ Anya retorted with her ever familiar scowl.

Raven chuckled then said to Anya, _“Awee don’t be so tense brutus, I have excellent tastes when it comes to these kinds of events. You look even more delicious than usual.”_ Raven winked in Anya’s direction, causing the stoic face of the fighter to tint a shade of pink. Lexa just shook her head, holding back the laugh she wanted to use so badly to sting her friend even further. **_‘Maybe later.’_**

_“What’s up bitches!”_

All three women turned to the sudden shriek that befell them. They smiled immediately as they saw Octavia waving and approaching with Luna just behind her. The pair still haven’t officially come out to the Raven and Clarke yet, but Lexa thought it couldn’t be more obvious if the smiles and sudden but subtle removal of their join hands as they came in tow were any indication. **_‘I’ll be damn surprised if they hadn’t figured it out by now.’_**

_“O! Luna! Hey!”_ Raven shouted excitably. Octavia ran as fast as she could in her purple sleeved, back-less dress and black pumps all the way into Raven’s arms; Luna stood beside Lexa in her white sleeveless dressy top and black pencil knee high skirt. Luna and Lexa laughed as Raven and Octavia hugged each other animatedly; Anya crossed her arms over her chest, slightly smiled and shook her head at the two. _“Sorry me and Lunatic over here were late.”_ Octavia said as she parted from Raven’s arms. _“It took forever to find parking.”_

_“Bet. Looks like Clarkey managed to get a full house tonight.”_ Raven replied. _“Don’t worry, we just got here too.”_

_“Where is Clarke by the way? I thought she’d be with you guys by now.”_ Luna asked.

Lexa stepped in to answer, _“Clarke said that her boss…what was his name?”_

_“Jaha.”_

Everyone turned around to see an older blonde woman with an almost striking resemblance to Clarke approaching the group in a classy long black dress and black heels. **_‘Oh shit.’_** Lexa thought. **_‘Is that…’_**

_“Mama G!”_ Octavia and Raven simultaneously cheered.

_“Evening ladies.”_ Abby replied as she hugged both of Clarke’s friends. _“It’s been too long, I’ve missed you both the last few Thursday dinners.”_ It was an unofficial tradition if Lexa remembered hearing correctly. Abby would have Clarke, Aden, Octavia, and Raven over for dinner on Thursday’s because that was usually her day off if there weren’t any emergencies. Some weekends she was off as well and that’s usually when she would take Aden and spend some quality time with him.

_“Blame it on NASA’s in ability to get anything done right without me. Oh, and this fine hotty right here.”_ Raven smiled and pointed to woman at her side.

_“Really Raven?”_ Anya complained.

_“What? It’s true.”_

Abby laughed at the two bickering women, then extended her hand. _“Hi, you must be Anya. Raven gushes about you quite often.”_ If you looked closely enough you could spot the hint of a smile quirking on Anya’s lips and a small blush making camp on her cheekbones. Lexa caught it. Luna caught it. Ammo fully restored and stored away for safe keeping. _“I’m Abby Griffin, it’s good to meet you.”_

Anya took her hand firmly, but respectfully with a stoic expression and nodded. _“Anya Ripley, it’s an honor to meet you as well.”_

_“So formal. Me likey.”_ Raven teased with wiggling brows. Anya bumped Raven’s shoulder with her elbow and scowled playfully.

Abby laughed at the exchange. _“I can tell you two are a riot.”_ Abby turned her attention to Octavia and company. _“And you’re Luna, I take it?”_

Luna gave her a bright smile and nodded with an extended hand which Abby took gladly. _“Yes, I’m Luna Jennings. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”_

_“Likewise,”_ Abby replied. _“I’ve heard you’re a fighter as well?”_

_“Yes, I am. Submissions and grappling are my specialty.”_ Luna replied proudly, Octavia gazed at her with equal pride. If they were really trying to hide their current status, they were failing miserably.

_“I’m still educating myself on the sport, but I hear that’s a rather challenging aspect to master.”_

_“It can be, but with practice, discipline, determination and the right coach, anything is possible.”_

Abby nodded in agreement. _“Beautiful, tough, and high spirited I see. I like you.”_ Abby looked to Octavia and winked, causing the shorter woman to blush.

**_‘Looks like cat’s out of the bag as far as Abby’s concerned.’_** Lexa silently chuckled to herself. Her amusement was short lived however, as Abby finally turned all of her attention to Lexa. **_‘Oh, no. Oh, no.’_** Lexa has never had a ‘meet the parents’ moment in her life since she’s never had an actual relationship with anyone. She wasn’t even sure if this counted since she wasn’t dating Clarke, but either way she was completely unprepared for whatever was to come. Abby seemed nice enough, and Clarke never spoke any ill of her, but that did nothing to steel her nerves. This wasn’t just anyone’s mom. **_‘It’s Clarke’s mom. Aden’s grandmother. I’m totally fucked.’_**

Abby smiled at the nervous wreck as she gradually stood front and center of Lexa. Brown, wisdom filled eyes measured the fighter in front of her like she was analyzing the proper ways to dissect her for the operating table. _“And I’m going to guess that you are the great ‘Commander’ my grandson goes on and on about?”_ Abby asked.

Lexa visibly swallowed. She’s officially adding a new person to the list of people who had the ability to intimidate her. **_‘Here we go.’_** She straightened herself up, nodded, extended her hand, and replied in most respectful way she could muster. _“Y-yes. I’m Lexa. Lexa Woods. It’s an honor to finally meet you in person, Mrs. Griffin. Clarke and Aden speak very highly of you.”_

_“Abby.”_ She replied with an even wider smile. _“And I could say the same about you as well.”_

Lexa couldn’t fight the small smile that played on her lips at the thought of Clarke and Aden telling Abby about her in a positive light. **_‘They’re too much, I swear.’_**

_“They’ve shown me some of your fights on the internet, but I must say you look much more dashing in formal attire than in your sports equipment.”_

_“T-thank you, Mrs. Griff…-I-I mean Abby.”_ Lexa slightly stuttered. She cleared her throat then brought out her more confident tone. _“You are a vision all your own this evening. I knew that beautiful smile of Clarke’s had to come from somewhere.”_ Lexa took a moment to register what she just said. **_‘Did you seriously just hit on Clarke and her mother in the same sentence? Idiot!’_**

Abby quirked a brow and her smile widened. _“A fighter and a flatterer. I think you and I will get along just fine.”_ She chuckled causing the rest of the group that was stealthily listening in on the scene to do the same.

_“I’ve been telling Mama Griff how hot she is for forever now.”_ Raven interjected. _“I’m still waiting to see if she’s willing to jump in a threesome with my lady love over here.”_

Anya looked at Raven with shock and what seemed to be embarrassment as she replied, _“Seriously Raven!? What the actual fu…”_

_“Language.”_ Abby interrupted with a sharp look.

Anya caved in on herself instantly like a child being scolded, then replied in a slightly hushed tone, _“Apologizes ma’am.”_

**_‘Wow, Indra’s never gonna believe that there’s two of herself in this world.’_** Lexa thought as she saw her friend fall in line to Abby’s command.

Abby nodded. _“Thank you. And no Raven, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I will not be partaking in your relationship in any way. I appreciate the compliment behind it though.”_

Raven shrugged. _“Was worth a shot.”_

Octavia shook her head. _“Don’t even act like you’re not gonna try again any time soon.”_

_“You know nothing, Octavia Blake.”_

_“Don’t I? You’ve been trying to bed Mama G since the day Clarke brought us home for our first winter break together.”_

_“Really Raven??”_ Luna asked in shock and amusement.

_“I cannot confirm, nor deny anything that was just said.”_

_“Wish means ‘yes’ in Raven’s terms.”_ Lexa exclaimed. The group laughed collectively and the tension seemed to disappear rather quickly from that point. A waiter approached the women with glasses of champagne. They each took one then drank among themselves.

Once Abby had finished her glass, she looked at Lexa and said, _“I believe you were in the middle of saying something when I interrupted?”_

Lexa look puzzled at her for a moment before she remembered what she had been referring to. _“Oh, right! So yeah, Clarke was telling me that…Jaha was it?”_

Abby nodded.

_“Okay, Jaha, plans to give her a special grand entrance or whatever, so we won’t see her until that’s done.”_

_“Has Jaha always been so extra Mama Griff?”_ Raven asked.

Abby lightly chuckled, _“Him and Jake were always big fans of style and showy entrances I’m afraid. I’m glad his son and Clarke didn’t get that trait from them.”_

_“Where is Wells anyway?”_ Octavia asked. _“Clarke said he was supposed to be back for the showing.”_

Abby sighed. _“I know. Sadly, he got caught up with his studies and couldn’t get a ticket for a flight out here in time.”_

_“Wells?”_ Lexa asked. The name sounded a bit familiar, but she couldn’t remember from where.

_“Jaha’s son, Clarke’s oldest friend.”_ Abby answered. _“They grew up together since Jaha and Jake were best friends and they lived very close by to us when we relocated to Santa Monica before she was born.”_

_“Didn’t him and Clarke date at one point?”_ Octavia asked as she sipped her second glass of champagne. Lexa felt a jolt of something go up her spine at the question.

_“Yes, he was Clarke’s first boyfriend I believe.”_

The two continued to talk a bit more about this ‘Wells’ guy but Lexa had tuned out of the conversation. Clarke was a grown woman, a beautiful one at that, and if her college years were anything like Raven and O had described in the past, then Clarke was nowhere near as innocent as she would appear; therefore, she’s probably had her fair share of partners like Lexa herself. But at the moment Lexa could feel a wave of discomfort crawl into her skin like an insect at the thought of Clarke with someone else. She had no real right to feel any sort of way about it, but she did. She didn’t want to admit it was jealousy because she doesn’t get jealous. She’s never been jealous. She wouldn’t know it if it looked her in the face. But that didn’t stop whatever she was feeling from rising inside her as she pictured an unknown figure talking to Clarke. Holding Clarke. Touching Clarke…

**_‘Mine’._** The commander’s dark call whispered in her ear as her grip on her champagne grew tighter. Lexa flinched subtly as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked to her side to see Anya looking at her with concerned eyes that said ‘You alright?’. Lexa’s emotions were probably on full display in her expression if Anya took notice of it. She took a second to steel herself and rotate her shoulders. Lexa took a breath and relaxed under the familiar touch. She nodded and gave Anya a small smile of reassurance and thanks. Anya replied with a short nod then retracted her hand. Anya wasn’t the comforting type by any means, but she had her moments.

The group of women talked, drank and laughed awhile about various things before breaking off into their own separate groups to look around and explore Clarke’s work. Abby decided to tag along with Lexa, which didn’t unnerve her at all. **_‘Not even in the slightest.’_** She attempted to convince herself. Turns out Lexa didn’t have any reason to worry at all. Abby was a very sweet and quite funny person despite her highly intimidating and ‘take no shit’ outlook. She told Lexa about how she really got her start in her career when she saved a man by manually pumping in his heart while trapped under the rubble of an earthquake. She’d only been a 1 st year resident at the time who volunteered to go to the scene with several others. She’d stumbled upon the man in a loose hanging store. An aftershock caused the building they were in to nearly crumble on top of them. She had noticed signs that there was an issue with his heart and had to use the limited supplies she had to do an open chest procedure to keep him alive until help reached them some minutes later. Lexa was lost on all the medical jargon she used, but the bottom line was that she saved his life, and Abby knew from that moment that she wanted to be a cardiac surgeon. **_‘This woman is an absolute badass.’_** Lexa thought.

She even shared a few stories about Clarke when she was little, such as the time Clarke figured out how to steal cookies out of the cabinets at age 3, how Abby would come home to artwork being done all over the walls while Jake observed with a smile, or (Lexa’s personal favorite) when Clarke had gone through her ‘superhero stage’ and would run around the house pretending to fly with her father’s boxers over her head. It was all very adorable, and completely _Clarke_ in her opinion. Abby had attempted to get Lexa to share some things about herself, something she wasn’t quite ready to do in all honesty. She did, however, tell her about how she’d lost her both parents at a young age (sparing the details of course), how she met Anya and Luna, and her time as an MMA fighter thus far. There was a huge gap in between her stories, a quirked brow from Abby made it known to Lexa that she had noticed, but the older woman did not pry thankfully.

In between conversations they marveled at the mass of works Clarke had on display. There were many that depicted scenarios related to space, Abby said they most likely had to do with her father, which Lexa had gathered from her time with her daughter. One in particular was a very detailed painting of a man dressed in shaggy green clothes (Jake’s favorite color she learned) standing on the moon without any space gear, looking and waving at the Earth. She had painted different shades of blues, greys, and white streaks sailing among the stars, with the yellow of the sun ringing around the earth’s circumference. Abby told Lexa that Jake always used to tell Clarke that someday he was going to travel to the moon and he’d wave to her until she saw him through their telescope. Jake had been a very imaginative person, Lexa gathered, a trait he so dutifully passed on to his daughter.

There was another piece in inked outlines with water coloring that had a meticulous creation of a man holding the hand of a woman while on the beach, with a child in the distance looking out at the open water as the sun was setting. The sky was littered in reds, orange, and a hint of purple. The blue of the ocean reminded Lexa of Clarke’s eyes. The grip the man had on the woman’s hand was strong, but seemingly gentle. His thumb gracefully coaxing the palm of the woman. Even without seeing any other parts of their bodies, besides their arms, you could tell it was a gesture of love. Abby explained how that was the day Jake had been promoted to head engineer for this passion project of his at the time and wanted to celebrate with his ‘two favorite girls in the world’ by taking a stroll on the beach while the sun set.

_“Don’t tell Clarke, but that was also the same day we found out I was pregnant with what was to be our second child.”_ Abby shared. Lexa snapped her gaze to Abby and looked at her inquisitively. _“Jake was so happy, he wanted to tell Clarke but I wanted to wait a little while. She’d only been 6 years old, so I wasn’t really ready to have the whole ‘where do babies come from’ conversation.”_ Both women laughed at that, but suddenly that smile turned to a sad one as her eyes refocused on the image in front of them. _“I had a miscarriage unfortunately, before the 2 nd trimester. Since I hadn’t shown at all we decided not to tell Clarke. I still don’t have it in me to tell her she’d lost a little brother or sister. She felt enough loss over Jake’s death, we both did, don’t see the point of bringing it up now.”_

Lexa was more than a little shocked that Abby chose to confide such a personal secret with her. They hardly knew one another besides the things shared between their mutual channels, and yet the older woman felt compelled enough to share probably one of her most vulnerable moments with her. It was more than an honor. It was a genuine privilege. Lexa decided to try and comfort Abby by putting an arm around her shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. _“I can completely understand that. I’m not well versed in the ways of parenthood, but I know it must have been hard on you and her dad, best to spare your daughter of pain where you can right?”_

Abby looked at Lexa for a moment. A small tear rolled down Abby’s cheek as the smile resurrected on her face and she nodded. Lexa retrieved a napkin for her to wipe her eyes before they continued their tour of the gallery. Not long after a nicely dressed, dark skinned man called out to the crowd from atop a well size stage towards the back of the venue. It was decorated similarly to the rest of the place, with what Lexa assumed was a rather large shaped canvas hanging covered on the wall at the very back.

_“Ladies and Gentlemen! If I could have your attention, please!”_ The man shouted. Everyone stopped what they were doing to turn towards him. The man in question, Lexa was informed by Abby, was non-other than Thelonious Jaha. _“I hope that you all have been enjoying yourselves thus far. As you all know, this is only the second of what I hope will be many showings from this impeccably talented young woman, whom I’ve had the pleasure of knowing and mentoring since she was practically in diapers.”_ Everyone laughed at that. _“She is the daughter of a man whom I was so proud to call my best friend. A man most of you do not know, but will probably see in some of her works. Since she was small she always had an eye for beauty, even in the darkest of places. Once she sees it, she never stops until her vision is on a surface in-which everyone can have the pleasure of enjoying. In-which every person whom looks upon it has their breath taken away by the authority of her expertise. Next to her mother, she is one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. She fought in high school to win every art competition, have her work across every wall in the hallways, and design every pamphlet. In college, she put together almost every banner, entered pieces in every major or even minor contest, volunteered for any construct her major entailed, and didn’t stop putting herself out there until her unique voice was heard. And her voice is just that, unique. Never before have I seen someone exhibit raw, unadulterated emotion onto a piece of paper or canvas in my entire career like she does. Whether it be in colors or black and white, this woman, this master in her own right, has captured hearts, eyes, and minds over the years. Explaining stories that weren’t only her own. Speaking thoughts that the written word couldn’t possibly illustrate. Drawing attention no news outlet could ever dictate. Bringing alive pictures, the most powerful of cameras could only dream of capturing.”_ Jaha stopped a moment to take a breath, one others needed as well to really absorb the impact of his speech. _“But I am sure most of you could agree that I speak true as you gaze upon the pieces before us this evening. I stand here in front of you all, a proud man, and fellow artist. An honored surrogate father, and grateful teacher. One whom hopes to see nothing more, than the continued success of this young scholar._ _Come with me, and listen as she tells us HER story. Without further ado, the woman I’ve been gushing about this whole time. I introduce to you the artist, the visionary, the future. Clarke E. Griffin.”_

With that the audience, including Lexa herself and Abby, began a roaring applause. The magnitude echoing through the venue made it feel as if the ground was quaking beneath them. It was unlike anything Lexa ever experienced in the octagon. **_‘I’ll have to find out if Jaha could be my new hype man.’_** She chuckled to herself. A few seconds later, Clarke walked out from behind a curtain and greeted Jaha on the stage. They hugged for a time, then Clarke kissed his cheek before breaking from his hold. When Clarke finally turned to address her guests, Lexa’s hands stopped along with her heart as she gazed upon the woman in question. Lexa was well aware of how hot miss mamabear Griffin could be, but at this fraction in time, she’d never seen anything so astonishing in all her life.

Tonight, Clarke had dawned a sparkling blue dress that complimented her eyes in such a way Lexa would have thought was impossible. It had skinny straps at her shoulders, and the length fell to her ankles with a slit starting just above her knee to expose her left leg. The top part defined her cleavage to the point where Lexa felt like she was a borderline creep with how hard she tried not to gawk like a teenage boy. The lightening reflecting off of the dress made the silkiness of her skin shine and glisten even brighter than the lights surrounding the room. Her golden hair had been in a messy, yet finely crafted bun with strands hanging along her face; and from what Lexa could see, Clarke barely wore any make-up aside from some light eyeshadow that made the cerulean of her eyes pop in clear definition. The image was finished off with a beautiful, elegant pair of white strapped short heels. Professional looking, and giving the blonde a little more height than usual.

Lexa was sure she was drooling, and yet, part of her really didn’t care. Because right now, Clarke was the picture you saw if you looked up the meaning of perfection. The woman you compared and contrasted every other female creature to. The sheer embodiment of heaven touching the Earth. And Lexa’s heart had never beaten faster in her life…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, the Gala has begun and Lexa was being resorted to a gaping mess lol what did you think of seeing our group together again? Was it a nice surprise to see Abby for the first time? Did you see the images I tried to describe when it came to Clarke art? Did you feel for Abby when she shared that secret? Why, do you think she told Lexa even though they are basically strangers to one another? Do you find Jaha as ‘extra’ as Raven does? Are you excited to see what happens next? And in case any of you were wondering, yes there’s a reason I didn’t describe what Lexa looks like at the Gala. That will be for later. Please share with me your thoughts and ideas. I always love getting comments.
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> P.S. I wanted to personally thank every one of you for your continued support, over-the-moon encouragement/positive feedback, and overall love for this story. I was so happy with the comments I received from the note I posted and I was crying tears of joy over them because when I started this story months ago, I never thought I’d get all the praise I’ve been given. In case you didn’t notice, I’ve decided that I will indeed make this into a series. It was a landslide victory when I asked which I found pretty awesome. So, thank you, and even though I’m writing this for me and my own personal improvement in mental health, I’m also grateful to have you all along for the ride.
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> P.P.S. I apologize I wasn’t able to get this out until now. I had half of it written back when I posted my author’s note, but things got busy and complicated around then so finding time to write has been difficult. This chapter got away from me and I wrote so much that I thought it would be too long to post as one chapter so I broke it into 2. The second part will take some time for me to finish but I didn’t want to keep you guys waiting till 2017 for everything so I hope this beginning part is enough to hold you over till the next one. 
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> P.P.P.S As I said in the past, if there’s anything you’d like to see in the coming chapters/this series in general please leave it in the comments. I may use your input if I think it fits and is in my general abilities. Thanks!


	17. “…Beauty from Pain”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke & Lexa’s POV. Continuation of the Gala. Slight **TW for the end.

Chapter 17: “…Beauty from Pain”

She shivered slightly as the cool winds of the night air danced through her tresses. She did not falter though. She knew why she was here, what she came here for, and she wasn’t leaving without it. Her stature remained stark still as her eyes were trained on its target.

She had royally fucked up. More than she ever thought she could. She wasn’t sure how she was going to make it right, but she couldn’t keep running. Running from this, her truth. Her dearest of desires. She knew if she had left things as they were too long she’d probably never be forgiven. **_‘I can’t let that happen.’_** Lexa thought. **_‘Not now. Not with her.’_**

Lexa took a deep breath then exhaled before stepping into the familiar pathway that led to Clarke’s door. She hesitated for a moment before finally knocking. **_‘Alright, you can do this.’_**   A few moments later she was greeted by her favorite pair of cerulean eyes and golden hair as the door slowly opened.

Lexa gave a tentative smirk before she said, _“Hey.”_

Clarke’s brows furrowed in that cute way Lexa both adored and feared simultaneously. She wrapped the white robe she was in tighter against her body, her arms tucked in. She was defensive. **_‘Rightly so.’_** Lexa had to admit.

After a beat of silence Clarke finally answered, _“It’s late.”_ Her voice, laced in controlled anger.

_“I know.”_

_“What are you doing here?”_

Lexa stiffened from her outward display of distrust. She didn’t like it, especially directed towards herself, but she definitely knew she deserved it. She cleared her throat, hardened her resolve, then said, _“I’m here to apologize, Clarke.”_

 _***_ One Week Ago, The Night of the Gala***

_Lexa was sure she was drooling, and yet, part of her really didn’t care. Because right now, Clarke was the picture you saw if you looked up the meaning of perfection. The woman you compared and contrasted every other female creature to. The sheer embodiment of heaven touching the Earth. And Lexa’s heart had never beaten faster in her life…_

Lexa was snapped out of her trance when she felt Abby beside her slightly bump her arm. She turned her head to see Abby giving her a knowing smile.

 _“If you stare any harder your eyes will pop out of your head. I may be a surgeon, but even I would have a challenge putting them back in.”_ Abby said jokingly.

Lexa blushed at the jab. What else could she do? Abby had been right. Her staring was bordering on the line of super stalker. Abby chuckled lightly then nudged Lexa's shoulder in an encouraging matter.

 _“Go.”_ She said. _“I'm sure she'd be very happy to see you.”_

It was obvious to Lexa in this moment that Abby not only was in the know of Lexa's attraction to her only daughter, but seemed to approve of it as well. Lexa felt a mix of emotions at this revelation. She was honored by the fact that the older Griffin was interested in seeing her pursue Clarke. But she was also worried that the trust was being misplaced. They had only just become acquainted, but whatever Aden and Clarke had said to Abby made her soft on the fighter.

 ** _‘Talk about staking on the pressure.’_** Lexa sighed, but nodded at Abby before she made her way to the subject of her affections.

***

Clarke never really liked these kinds of things to be honest. Not the showing off her work part, that she enjoyed very much; she took issue with the general formalities and _‘ass kissing'_ of it all. It made her happy when she met genuine fans of her art and enthusiasts that shared their wisdom with her. What she didn't like was the fact that the other half of this crowd was full of snobbish rich folk who probably only attended for the free party and expensive boos part.

She endured however. Regardless this was the thing she loved almost as much as she loved her son, and it was something that brought her pride beyond her imagination.

She made her way over to Jaha. Greeted and thanked him for all he has done for her, then turned her attention to her adoring crowd. She cleared her throat then let her duties begin.

 _“Thank you all so, so very much for making here tonight.”_ Her voice conveying honesty in her words. _“I would not be standing here in front of you if it had not been for the guidance and care from this man beside me,”_ she glanced to Jaha, who in turn nodded, _“my father who helped me find my love for the arts,”_ she looked to the ceiling above and said a silent thank you to the spirit she knew filled the room, as well as her heart, _“my son whom sadly was not old enough to join us tonight, but who kept me company whenever I was feeling blocked. That kid really knows how to make a mean hot chocolate.”_ The audience lightly laughs at her comment. _“My closest friends whom forced me to have a social life in between my moments of pure genius.”_ Both Raven and Octavia whistle and cheer obnoxiously in the crowd, causing the audience to laugh again and Clarke rolling her eyes, then continues, _“My mom, whom always made time to come to every one of my openings, no matter how big or small. You have been my saving grace through so much, and I couldn't have kept this going without all of your support and encouragement. I love you mom.”_ Clarke finds her mother in the crowd and blows her a kiss, one that Abby grabs and places her hand over her heart. A gesture they've done as a sign of mutual appreciation during all their big moments. Clarke smiles then finishes, _“And of course to everyone whom has ever bought and supported my art over the years. I hope that you all enjoy my newest collection. Please feel free to come talk shop with me, or just buy me a drink. Either will be greatly appreciated.”_ With that the audience sounded their applause and congratulations.

Clarke sighed heavily as she finally got through her speech, and watched as the hundreds of guests made their way around the gallery. She smiled as she saw the expressions on their faces. From joy, to laughter, to sorrow, she saw it all and she loved it.

_“Well aren’t you little miss impressive.”_

Clarke’s smile grew at the sound of that familiar voice that continued to make her heart go bump in the night. She quickly turned to her side to greet the woman whom was her honored guest, but stopped short with a gasp as her breath caught in her throat. **_‘Wow.’_** Her eyes roamed over the pillar of the woman in front of her. She’d never seen Lexa dressed up before, and she could not fathom how something so wonderful eluded her for so long.

Lexa was fitted in a very strapping tailored feminine suit. The jacket was a very elegant burgundy, over a dressy black blouse with the first two buttons undone, burgundy slacks, and a slightly studded pair of black Stacy Adams Ellson Suede Bit Loafers to complete the look. Her brown, curly mane was falling over her left shoulder, while a silver gun-cross decorated her slender neck and it had an emerald stone sitting in the middle of it that complimented the stellar green of her eyes. She wore no make-up, but her lips still held a hint of gloss to it, probably from a stick of lip balm. She was classy, yet casual, and only made Clarke find her unbelievably more attractive than ever before.

Lexa’s confident radiated off her. The power she exerted could choke a horse, and dammit if Clarke didn’t mind being that horse right now. She had to bit her lip to contain herself and snap back to reality. **_‘She is your friend. Get it together Clarkey.’_** Clarke shook herself out of her momentary stupor and politely greeted her friend. _“Lexa! You made it!”_

Lexa’s smirk grew a few inches more as she came to a stop in front of Clarke. _“Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for anything in the world.”_

Clarke wrapped her arms around the taller woman’s neck, as Lexa replicated with her hands coming around the small of her back. The embrace wasn’t long, but within it was a warmth that Clarke had grew a minor addiction to over the past few month if she was honest.

 _“Your work is even more beautiful than I could have imagined.”_ Lexa said as the broke apart.

Clarke smiled shyly, _“Really? You think?”_

 _“Of course. The stuff you’ve shown me before was great, but these,”_ Lexa gestures to the room around them, _“Wow, these Clarke have actually made me wonder why I never saw your stuff before we met.”_

 _“Well maybe if you had let yourself look at the local art magazines instead of your monthly Gameinformers, you would have spotted me sooner.”_ Clarke said jokingly making Lexa laugh along with her. _“But what matters is that you’re seeing it now right?”_

Lexa nodded in agreement. _“Yes ma’am. And…”_ Lexa hesitated for a second, _“…and I have to say, they’re not the only things that look beautiful tonight…”_ Clarke’s brow quirked at that and their eyes locked. _“…you’re a vision tonight, Clarke. I mean you always look gorgeous…but tonight, tonight you look absolutely stunning, I must say.”_

Lexa’s smile was so bright and encouraging that Clarke wondered if the warmth on her face was as exposing as she felt. Lexa always sweet with her words, but this time was different. There was something of a twinkle in her eyes as she looked at Clarke. A throatiness to her voice as she spoke. Clarke wasn’t sure if it was completely friendly, but she certainly wasn’t going to complain about it.

 _“…thank you, Lex.”_ Clarke responded. _“I can’t begin to tell you how good it makes me feel to hear you say that.”_ Clarke felt her smile moving half-way off her face as she watch the confidence of Lexa turn bashful in her presence.

 _“W-well…uhh…”_ Lexa cleared her throat. _“…I-I…you’re welcome, Clarke.”_ Even with the adolescent nature of her voice, Clarke still couldn’t get over how much thrill went through her body when Lexa’s tongue would click the ‘K’ of her name. It turned her into a drooling mess on the inside. Lexa shook herself of her nerves before extending her left arm for Clarke to take. _“May I escort you to or idiot pack?”_

Clarke chuckled at her word choice for their friends and nodded as she connected their arms. _“I would love that.”_

***

_“Woohooo! Look out guys! The princess of the arts has arrived!”_

Clarke laughed at the eccentric nature of her ever so brash friend Raven as her and Lexa made their way to their group.

 _“Clarkey!”_ Octavia cheered _“It took you long enough to get your hot shot ass over here.”_

 _“Now, now O.”_ Raven commented, _“You know badass commander over here had to get first pickings at that ass before we could.”_

 _“Seriously Raven!?”_ Lexa yelped in utter embarrassment.

The rest of the group laughed as Clarke and Lexa blushed after being poked at by their friends. **_‘Why must they keep doing this.’_** Clarke thought. _“Anyways! Thank you, guys, for all coming.”_

 _“Anytime Clarkey.”_ Octavia said. _“And Bellamy says he’s sorry he couldn’t make it. Gina couldn’t get the night off, so he was stuck with babysitting duties.”_

Clarke chuckled. _“That’s fine, these aren’t really his thing anyways.”_

 _“Speaking of babysitting, where’s Aden at tonight?”_ Lexa asked.

 _“He’s with one of mom’s friend’s, Callie. Her daughter and him go to school together so she agreed to watch him for me tonight.”_ Clarke answered.

 _“Where’s the good booze stashed around here?”_ Anya asked. _“I believe it’s customary to gift a drink to the event host, is it not?”_

 _“Awee babe, look at you being all polite and shit.”_ Raven teased as she pecked Anya’s scowling face.

Lexa and the others laughed at her friend being embarrassed yet again by her always counted-upon girlfriend.

 _“She’s right though!”_ Luna said in an attempt to save Anya. _“No way you’re gonna get through the night without being at least a little tipsy around these elite class looking people.”_

 _“You’re as right as you are smart Luna.”_ Clarke agreed.

 _“Then let us all get to that bartender and get saddled up.”_ Octavia said, and the group of women made their way over to the private bar.

The night was going even more pleasantly than Clarke had ever imagined. Her, Lexa, their friends, and Abby, whom had joined them later on, drank and babbled all night as they enjoyed themselves. Raven occasionally made a dirty joke or two about some of the body pieces Clarke had done (as Raven does). Anya and Luna sang their praise and congratulations to her and asked if Clarke would be interested in painting a new mural for their gym someday, which of course she agreed to. And her heart raced faster each time she saw Lexa transfixed by her work. Clarke was used to being boasted by people at this point in her career, but she felt extra special when it came to Lexa telling her how brilliant her art was. **_‘Seriously Clarke, you’re like a teen with a crazy crush.’_**

Every once in a while, Clarke had to separate from her group to greet and converse with various people Jaha had deemed ‘art tycoons of the industry’. All of which continued to sing their praise of her talent. A few offered her different opportunities to get her name out there even more so, and Jaha had also informed her that a lot of her pieces were selling for top dollar. It saddened her a bit sometimes to part ways with her work, but it’s what helped her make a living after all. She’d make sure to at least have pictures taken of them before they we shipped off to their owners. Her mother told her how she couldn’t have been prouder of her, and how she knows her father would be feeling the same if he were here. Something she says every time Clarke had a successful showing, but something that she never grew tired of hearing.

***

 _“Clarke, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”_ Jaha said as he interrupted yet another conversation she and Lexa were having with a fellow artist Monty Green and his partner Nathan Miller.

Clarke lightly apologized to them before she gave her undivided attention to Jaha and a taller man she’d never seen before standing beside him. Lexa flanked her from behind since Clarke had asked her to accompany her.

Lexa assumed the guy with Jaha was some uptight bloke from Newport Beach or something. He stood with an air of over-confidence and entitlement. **_‘Probably got rich over daddy’s dollar.’_** She thought to herself.

He was in a dark, sleek, slim fitted purple suit. It looked like it had to have cost at least 1k, maybe even more since it looked custom made. He had a light purple designer tongue tie that was neatly tucked into his vest, and expensive silver cufflinks on each end of his sleeves. Complete with a napkin tucked in the chest pocket. He was clean shaved, with short-cut blonde-brown hair on his head. He had to be at least 6’2”, and probably was well built under that expensive clothing. Lexa didn’t miss the way he smiled mischievously at Clarke. With a telltale sign of lust showing in his otherwise icy blue eyes as he raked over Clarke’s body. Lexa hasn’t even really met this guy yet, but already she doesn’t like him.

 _“Clarke Griffin, this is Carl Emerson.”_ Jaha introduced.

 _“Emerson?”_ Clarke asked, _“As in…”_

 _“Emerson Port Industries? Yes.”_ The man responded with a lift of his iron-clad jaw. The Emerson family was full of arrogant and throat-cut business men. They owned most of the shipping companies along the West Coast, and Carl was the oldest son of Alec Emerson. The man was well known for being a womanizer and throwing his money wherever he saw fit. Clarke was never a fan of the idea that Jaha was partnered with them, but everyone had to start somewhere. _“It’s a pleasure to finally meet your acquaintance Miss Griffin. Your reputation exceeds you.”_ He extended his hand and when Clarke went to shake it she took hold of her and kissed her hand flirtishly, winking as he continued. _“You’re even more luscious in person than you were in those pictures in the Communication Arts magazines I saw some months back. It’s a wonder you’re still single.”_

Lexa had to fight the urge punch him in his perfectly chiseled jaw. **_‘Who the hell does this prick think he is?’_**

To say Clarke was a bit caught off guard by the forwardness of this guy was an understatement. She wasn’t particularly comfortable with it, but she had a part to play. She knew how Emerson Port Industries was one of the backers for most of Jaha’s galas, which explains the personal introduction. _“Oh, you flatter me really.”_ She said with a polite smile.

_“I mean it Clarke, you are quite a stellar looking young woman. You’ll have to let me escort you out sometime.”_

Lexa glared hard at him as her fist clenched into her side. **_‘Did he really just ask her out?’_** It took everything in her to keep a low growl trapped in her chest. **_‘I really don’t fucking like this guy.’_**

 _“My art may be, great”_ Clarke replied, _“but I’m rather boring without it.”_

 _“I’d have to disagree with that.”_ Lexa inserted. _“Don’t down play how great you are as a person, Clarke. I love your art, but you’re a badass even without it.”_ She smiled sincerely at the blonde, making her blush a bit.

 _“And you are….?”_ Carl said with a lifted brow.

Lexa turned her attention to him, and straightened her back so her height showed and extended her hand as politely as she could muster. _“Lexa Woods. I’m a friend of Clarke’s.”_

 _“Lexa Woods, you say?”_ Carl said as he shook her hand. Lexa could see a bit of his façade waver as she grabbed his hand dominantly. She honestly didn’t mean to, but the urge to break this man’s hand was screaming in her head. He did his best to hide his glare once they separated. _“Why does that sound familiar?”_

 _“Lexa here is a mixed martial arts fighter.”_ Jaha answered with a smile.

 _“Mixed martial arts? You mean there are actually women who participate in that barbaric excuse for a sport?”_ Carl didn’t even attempt to hide the slyness dripping in his remark.

 _“What did you…” “I’d disagree with you there Mr. Emerson.”_ Clarke cut Lexa off before she could get out a replay. She wrapped her arms around Lexa’s left arm in show of support.

_“Carl, please.”_

_“Carl.”_ Clarke continued. _“It’s more than just people throwing punches at one another. It’s about showing skill, drive, and most importantly sportsmanship. I quite admire what Lexa does, and I’d be very appreciative if you wouldn’t speak rudely to her or of what she does for a living.”_

Lexa looked at Clarke with a bit of shock and awe. Clarke had spoken with such emotion, and confidence that it had given Lexa chills. Her heart pounded in her chest even more for this woman beside her who took it upon herself to defend her. **_‘No one’s ever stood up for me like that.’_** She thought.

Carl couldn’t hide his own shock at the blonde’s demand, but he quickly recovered. _“I humbly apologize if my statement in any way made you feel diminished.”_

 ** _‘What I wouldn’t give to rip that sharp tongue right out of his mouth.’_** Lexa thought.

 _“It was unfair of me and I hope my words are enough to make up for my ignorance.”_ He said the words to Lexa, but his eyes were trained on Clarke. Making Lexa boil even more on the inside _. “Despite this small digression, I hope you will consider my offer from before.”_

 _“Your…offer?”_ Clarke questioned.

 _“A date.”_ He replied _“I would very much be pleased if you’d consider going out to dinner with me some time.”_

_“Ohh…”_

Lexa nostrils flared at his request. She could feel the veins popping in her right hand as it clenched harder, this man was working her nerves to the brim.

 _“…you were serious about that?”_ Clarke questioned.

_“Indeed, I was, and still am.”_

Clarke chuckled nervously. _“I’m sorry, but I’ll have to decline. Right now, my main focus is on my son and my career. And I also don’t date my investors.”_

Lexa silently sighed at that reply. Not that she thought Clarke would take him up on the offer since he’s obviously a jerk, but still it was nice to hear it.

 _“Ya don’t say?”_ Carl replied. Clarke nodded. _“Well, I hope one day you’ll change your mind. I promise it would worth your while.”_ He winked confidently at her.

 ** _‘This guy has one more before I lose my shit on him.’_** Lexa internally argued.

Clarke smiled politely. _“I’m sure you’ll make some woman feel very lucky one day.”_ She said dismissively. _“Anyways I need to talk with a few more people before my final presentation. It was interesting meeting you Carl Emerson, I hope you continue to sport Jaha and myself in the future.”_

With that, she hooked back onto Lexa’s arm and lead them away from that excruciating man.

***

Everyone gathered around as Clarke took center stage, with a rather large painting covered by a sheet behind her. Lexa and the others stood at the front of the crowd. Abby on her left with Luna and Octavia, as Anya and Raven were on her right. They all anxiously waited as Clarke began to address the crowd for the second time of the night.

 _“Everyone,”_ Clarke started. _“So, I know I have said this many times before, but I wanted to thank all of you again for coming. And I’m unbelievably happy to share with you the news that we’ve made over a million dollars in sales tonight!”_ The crowd cheered and clapped at the mention of that tremendous victory. _“I really can’t tell you how awestruck I am that you all love my work so much to want to own pieces for yourselves. It takes a lot for me to part ways with some of these personally, but knowing that you all are willing to give what you can to keep my dreams coming true, means even more. With that being said, I still have one more piece to share with you. This has been one of the most challenging, and yet the most rewarding of all the ones I’ve ever created. It’s very personal, and yet it’s not me whom it is so deeply personal for. It’s a piece that was inspired by someone whom has become a new addition to my life.”_

Lexa’s brow quirked at that mention. **_‘Wait…’_**

_“Someone who has been very inspirational in their own right, and one of the truest of friends. Not only for me, but for my son, Aden, as well.”_

Lexa looked at Abby with a question in her eyes. Abby responded wordlessly with a knowing smile, and gestured with a nod for Lexa to keep her attention up front.

_“Some of you may know her from her various appearances in the Octagon, and for those not in the know, I’m talking about the Undisputed Fighting Championship, commonly known as the UFC. She fought like hell, both literally and figuratively, to get where she is today, and soon she’ll be squaring off with one of her own heroes. But if you asked me, though, I’d definitely bet on her to win.”_

Lexa blushed and dipped her head slightly at that, as some people chuckled around her. Anya bumped her with her elbow lightly in a show of support.

 _“I was so happy she was able to make it here tonight to see this in person, especially since it is completely in her honor.”_ Clarke smiled then looked dead-on at Lexa. _“I hope you like it.”_

Lexa shallowed hard under Clarke’s gaze, her heart hammering in her chest as she shyly smirked back at Clarke.

Clarke nodded then refocused on the crowd. _“Without further or do, I call this piece, ‘Beauty from Pain’.”_ Clarke nodded her head towards Jaha whom pulled the sheet carefully from the frame. Lexa’s eyes grew wide and her lips parted as Clarke’s piece was finally revealed.

Green. That’s the first thing she noticed. Vibrant and bold greens littered the bottom-half of the canvas while a dark blue bathed the sky of the top. A forest she assumed, set the stage of the story Clarke wanted to tell. A pearly white moon was at the top of the painting, accompanied by stars that looked almost life-like. It was beautiful the way the colors blended. Neither taking over the other, each having their own space and vent their purpose.

Lexa’s eyes traveled further. In the middle stood a person, a tanned woman whose skin was colored with what Lexa assumed to be peach water-colorings, with her back to the audience. Her arms, muscular in detail both hung at her sides, shoulders stark and tall. Her neck stood straight, making it appear as if she were looking upwards, in the distance. Her brownie colored hair falling off over one shoulder, with the strains coming off in certain parts. Small red markings randomly spread out amount her stature. Familiar, and yet different.

Upon further inspection she realized, **_‘Is…is that…me?’._**

It was like someone had taken a close-up photo of her entire rear frame and blown it up for the world to see. The tattoos that she always hid from wondering eyes were on full display. Just as detailed as the real things. The edges of a blacken wolf’s head on the right shoulder. The ends of tiger claw marks on her side painted in a bloodish red. The heart with a slightly broken infinity symbol on her lower neck. The wings on the top of her back. The circles along her spine. Same colors, identical design, but different in their execution. For the wings were drawn in 3D imagery. Appearing to lift off of her back and spreading wide among the canvas’ sides. Like the woman was an angel preparing to take flight. The forest that Lexa has originally on her lower back is replaced with two sets of hands prints. One belonging to a man, the other a woman from the detail. If Lexa was guessing correctly, she thought they might be symbolizing her parents. The hands were colored matching that of a multiracial couple. At the hem of her back were words. They read, _‘Be Strong. Be Youthful. Be Wise Beyond Your Years.’_ , written cursively in black ink. ‘Father’s words.’ Lexa remembered she told Clarke he would say that about her and her mother.

Tears rolled down Lexa’s eyes as she took in the entity of the work in front of her. Clarke did this. Clarke did this, for her. Clarke remembered her story, her tattoos, her pain, and she reimagined it in a way Lexa never could have dreamed of in all her life. She made the things that all held ugliness to them. Things that tether Lexa to memories littered with pain, into something spectacularly beautiful. **_‘…beauty…from pain…’_** It makes sense now, the title, it all makes sense, and her heart had never felt so raw in her entire lifetime.

Applause rang loudly around her, but she heard none of it. A blind silence covered her aura. In an instant, she was back. Back there, the place she hated most. The place she felt weakest and stripped of control.

**_‘You’re worthless.’_ **

There it was again. That voice. Her voice. The instrument of her long days and nights of torture.

 ** _‘No. Not again.’_** Lexa turned on her heels and bolted towards the back exit of the venue.

***

 ** _‘Oh, god. Is she…crying?’_** Clarke thought to herself as she watched a multitude of emotions fight their way around Lexa’s face. She saw so many. Shock, joy, comfort, sadness, hurt, betrayal, anger, happiness, disgust, guilt. The last one being the final emotion before she saw Lexa take off like a bat out of hell.

Clarke knew that she shouldn’t but she had no control as her feet forced her to follow after her. She ran. She actually ran, in heels no less, doing her best to catch up to Lexa whom was unsurprisingly fast.

 _“Lexa! Wait!”_ She called out, but the brunette didn’t stop. She didn’t even acknowledge her call. _“Lexa! Please, talk to me!”_

Lexa practically barreled through back door of the venue only stopping once a wall blocked her ability to move forward. **_‘Fuck! Fuck!’_** She screamed internally. Her mind was racing along with her heart. The crashing in her chest hurting more than any punch ever had. Her hands balling into sweaty fists as she raised them up and pounded her hands into her skull.

**_‘Worthless little bitch.’_ **

_“SHUT UP!”_ Lexa screamed to the ghost living inside her head. She had to get out of here, she had to get away, she needed to run. She crumbled to ground, sitting with her legs to her chest while her forehead rested on her knees. Her hands in clawing in her hair, tears burning trails down her cheeks.

 _“Lexa…”_ Clarke’s voice was soft, weak, heaving from pushing her body so hard.

  She didn’t respond, just rocked as that familiar mantra played in her head. **_‘Worthless.’_**

_“Lex…please. Tell what’s wrong. Did I do this? Is this my fault?”_

**_‘Your fault.’_ **

_“No…”_ Lexa spoke. _“…my fault…me…”_ her tone was pained, straining with hurt.

 _“What do you mean, Lex?”_ Clarke asked as she slowly approached the shaking woman in front of her. She’d never seen Lexa like this. She’s seen glimpses of her vulnerable state, but never like this. Never so, _fragile_. Broken.

 _“…monster…”_ Lexa growled suddenly.

_“What?”_

_“…me…my fault…I’m…a monster…”_

Clarke was shocked and confused by her words. How could someone so kind, loving and loyal as Lexa think of herself in this way. Why would she? Clarke would never believe anything like that for a second. **_‘There’s no way._** ’ She confirmed to herself. She reached out to touch Lexa’s shoulder as she got closer to her. The instant her fingers touched Lexa’s skin something snapped inside the woman. In seconds, Clarke felt herself being pushed into the wall of the venue that was behind her, a strong set of fingers wrapped around her throat, keeping her still in a vice-like grip. She opened her eyes to darkness. Lexa’s usually marvelous green eyes were overshadowed by black. Pure black; filled with anger and loathing. Her brows were scrunched, her nostrils flared. Tension scrapped along the lines of her skin as her mouth was turned in to snarl.

Clarke’s heart raced in her chest, fear she’d hadn’t felt in a very long time took over, but the person was different. This wasn’t the one she associated that fear with. **_‘This isn’t him. This is Lexa. Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong.’_** She told herself.

 _“…Lex…”_ She tried to get out, but the hand wrapped around her neck was making breathing and talking very difficult.

Tears were still falling down the brunette’s hollow eyes. **_‘She’s afraid. She’s in pain.’_**

 _“…Lex…a…”_ She tried again, this time she could she the other woman’s brow life in recognition. **_‘She’s still in there.’_** Clarke knew PTSD when saw it, this was it. It was the other thing that made sense for Lexa’s rapidly spiraled behavior. **_‘I have to help her.’_**

Clarke rubbed one hand on the one around her throat in a stroking motion, and slowly cupped Lexa’s face with the other. _“I-I…I’m here...Lex…breathe…just breathe…”_

After a few seconds of struggling, Lexa listened to what Clarke was telling her. She took deep, slow breaths.

In. Out. In. Out. Her grip slowly releasing as she started to become more in control of herself. That green that Clarke loved so much, coming back into view slowly, but surely.

_“…C-Clarke…?”_

_“Y-yeah, it’s me Lex. Come back. Come back to me.”_

  And just like that, Lexa let her go, and backed away from her. _“…Clarke…I’m so...I didn’t….”_

_“Shhh, it’s okay. You’re okay.”_

_“I hurt you.”_

_“It wasn’t you Lex.“_ Clarke said softly. _“PTSD, it does that to people sometimes.”_

 _“No. I can’t...not….”_ Lexa felt herself getting worked up again. _“…not you…”_

 _“Lexa, please.”_ Clarke begged. _“Just calm down, and come with me. We’ll get you something to drink and just sit down. You can talk to me, please.”_

 _“No!”_ Lexa felt herself roar out. _“Stay the hell away from me.”_

With that, Clarke stood shocked and still as Lexa took off again, faster than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I say how absolutely fucking sorry I am for this coming out 5 months late, I truly mean it. I had writers block like a monster the last few months. I had written, erased, and rewritten this chapter so many times cuz it just didn’t seem perfect enough to post. But I’m happy to say it finally got outta me, and I hope it was worth the wait. I will try to update as often as I can. I’m still in this, I still have every intention of seeing this to the end, and I hope you guys are still with me. Warning that things are gonna get pretty dark for the next chapters, but I'll put trigger warnings when necessary.
> 
> Please leave your thoughts, comments. Talk to me, tell me what you think, it’s what keeps my motivation going. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Visual Aids for their outfits:  
> Lexa: http://us.asos.com/religion/religion-skinny-suit-jacket-in-burgundy/prd/7190768?iid=7190768&affid=14174&channelref=product%20search&mk=abc¤cyid=2&ppcadref=753857711|38363191166|pla-337127283087&gclid=Cj0KEQjwldzHBRCfg_aImKrf7N4BEiQABJTPKIMUKGZ5s-6UJzqRruj8pqV5VX9yBZabHBdqw7u91q8aAiHH8P8HAQ
> 
> https://www.macys.com/shop/product/stacy-adams-ellson-suede-bit-loafer?ID=2081147&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&CAWELAID=120156340001622844&CAAGID=18454641512&CATCI=pla-101283879137&catargetid=120156340003074076&cadevice=c&cm_mmc=Google_Mens_Shoes_PLA-_-Mens+Shoes_Stacy+Adams+-+GS_Stacy+Adams-_-68330833712-_-pg93878_c_kclickid_29ed9556-57d1-43b1-9f51-d64ed920872c&trackingid=474x93878&gclid=Cj0KEQjwldzHBRCfg_aImKrf7N4BEiQABJTPKPVr8Yiy8kNIEKTxeS7ZG5gMLEyaOCiF8QtwDOqV8CEaAmWJ8P8HAQ
> 
>  
> 
> Emerson: http://weddingwaistcoat.weebly.com/blog/four-hot-trends-in-wedding-waistcoats-for-men


	18. “I Need You with Me….”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke & Lexa’s POV, with a hint of Anya’s POV. Aftermath of the incident from the Gala.

Chapter 18: “I Need You with Me….”

***Later that night of the Gala***   

_“I’m okay now mom,”_ Clarke said to Abby as her mother continued to examine the faint markings on her neck. _“It honestly isn’t as bad as it looks. She only had her grip on me for no longer than a minute or two.”_

_“The time difference doesn’t matter.”_ Abby replied then sighed. _“Are you alright though?”_

Clarke nodded. _“Yes, mom, I’m alright. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”_

_“I’m gonna kick her ass the minute I see her.”_ A furious Raven spoke as she paced around Clarke’s living room.

Abby, Raven, and the others had come to find Clarke after she ran off the stage after Lexa. They stumbled upon her a few minutes after Lexa had disappeared off into night. Her mother was instantly worried and at her side once she saw Clarke in a state of shock against a wall with a few tears in her eyes. It had been some time since she’d seen her daughter so disheveled. Clarke explained everything that had happened once she settled down, and Abby took on the responsibility of telling Jaha that Clarke wasn’t feeling well and needed to leave. He agreed without any hesitation and closed the show on her behalf while everyone made their way to Clarke’s home.

_“Please, Raven,”_ Anya pleaded, her eyes littered with worry and fear. _“I know Lexa, she didn’t do this on purpose. From what Clarke has told us, I think she had an episode again.”_

_“So, this is something that’s happened more than once?”_ Clarke asks Anya as she subconsciously rubbed at her neck.

Anya hesitated for a moment before she nodded. _“…yeah…she’s been battling with PTSD for quite a few years now…to be honest, we all have…”_ Pain tinged within her voice at the confession.

_“I had a feeling that was the case. It’s like her body was there, but her mind…it looked as if she was trapped…trapped somewhere she didn’t want to be and struggling to get out of…”_

Anya’s face had a look of despair as she listened to Clarke’s description. **_‘Sounds all too familiar.’_** Anya thought. _“Yeah…sounds about right.”_ Anya turned her eyes to Luna who reflected the same look of silent pain on her own face. It had been a few years since Anya or Luna had episodes of their own, but for Lexa it was different. She’d had them a lot more often than they had, **_’Understandably so’_** , and it had been a few months since her last one. Anya had a feeling that it was Clarke’s painting that triggered it, unfortunately.

_“So, what is it exactly that set her off?”_ Octavia asked after it had been quiet between the group for a number of minutes.

_“I know what it probably was,”_ Anya replied as she turned to Octavia. _“…but it’s not my place to say. Lex has her issues, we all do,”_ Anya looked to Luna, who nodded in understanding. _“but I know she meant no harm.”_

_“Ill intent or not, I’m still kicking her ass the minute I see her.”_ Raven responded with distaste. _“No one puts their hands-on Clarke and gets a free pass from me on it.”_

_“Raven…”_ Anya pleaded as she gave her girlfriend a begging look. _“…I know it’s fucked up how Lexa did that, but I promise you she did not mean it. Please, just give her a chance to cool herself down and let her explain.”_

Raven could see clear as day that Anya was just as troubled by this as everyone else. She trusted her girlfriend’s judgment, and she knew Lexa wasn’t a bad person, but she couldn’t help thinking about what she’d done to Clarke and how it would affect her given her past experiences. The circumstances then were different, but it was still a sore spot for her. She looked to Clarke and asked, _“How do you feel about all this Clarke? You know…given everything that happened with…”_

_“I know, Raven.”_ Clarke responded before she could finish her sentence. She knew where her friend was going with this, she’s sure her mother was thinking the same thing, but she needed to make sure they knew the situation wasn’t like how it was then. _“Don’t worry, this isn’t like last time. She was completely not herself. The minute she snapped out of her trance I could see how horrified she was by what she’d done. She apologized before she took off. I’m sure she ran because she was afraid the episode hadn’t fully worked its way out of her system.”_

Anya had to admit she was rather impressed at how understanding Clarke was being about the whole situation. It wasn’t anything to be taken lightly, most wouldn’t, but she seemed almost familiar with it. She had a feeling where Lexa might be right now and decided to take matters into her own hands. _“I’m going to go see if I can find her and check in with her. Lex prefers to be alone when she’s in that state of mind, but I feel like I should go after her this time.”_

_“You need me to go with you?”_ Luna asked with concern.

Anya shook her head. _“Nah, I got this one. I’m sure if we both show up she’ll probably just feel like we’re ambushing her. You keep an eye on things here.”_

Luna wanted to protest, but she knew her friend was right. Lexa could be quite the basket case when she’s on edge. _“Alright, I’ll do that.”_

Anya turns her attention back to Clarke and says, _“I’m sorry all of this happened, especially on a night that was supposed to be triumphant for you.”_

Clarke waved her hand in a show of understanding. _“It’s alright. I honestly just want to know if Lexa is okay. It scared me more seeing her so upset.”_

_“Well, I’ll track her down and get her back as soon as I can.”_

With that, Anya hugged and kissed Raven before she went out the door.

***

It was the warm breeze through the air dancing along her skin that reminded Lexa that she was here. She wasn’t there. And yet her mind and her heart continued to do battle with one another.

**_‘…I hurt her…’_** Shaken hands ran through the expanse of her long hair; a deep sob choking in her throat. **_‘…I…hurt…her…’_** that feeling of guilt that always seemed to accompany her through life sat heavy in her chest. She hated it. Hated what they have done to her. What SHE did to her. **_‘…fuck…’_** The darkness was here again. For a while it had been gone. Kept at bay from the powerful light of both Clarke and Aden, but now it had made its triumphant return. Determined to drag her back to the place she’s been trying to escape for so long.

**_‘No one will ever love you.’_ **

Those words she spoke, so many times. So much so that Lexa had lost count before it had even been a year that she was under her mercy. Reminding her that she had nothing. No one.

**_‘You are worthless.’_ **

An identity she never wanted to believe in. Never wanted to adopt, and yet, she could always feel it’s claws at the edge of her back.

**_‘You belong to me.’_ **

_“I belong to NO ONE.”_ Lexa responded to herself. _“You’re gone. I finished you.”_

**_‘Did you hear me? You belong to me, you little bitch.’_ **

_“Leave me the FUCK ALONE!”_ She shouted to the emptiness that surrounded her. She’d had enough, heard enough. Her body was wound up with rage. That familiar anger that allowed her fists almost supernatural powers. She stood to her feet and made her way to the nearest tree and unleashed her fury upon it. Hit after hit landing on target. Pieces of bark falling with each blow. It did not matter to her how insane she might have looked, she was too deep in the lushes for anyone to find her. She did not care that the object of her revenge was absent, she made sure of that a long time ago. She did not care for the fact that her hands that were meant to win her victories were currently taking on that familiar shade of redness only her own blood could create. She did not care, about anything. **_‘Nothing, but her…and I hurt her…’_**

The last blow to the tree was the one that finally took her. Pain radiated through her left arm, paralyzing any further punishment she had in store for the totem of wood in front of her. _“Shit.”_ She spat out as she cradled her hand and leaned her forehead against the tree. Another sob wreaked havoc in her lungs as her rage and anger finally started to wind down.

_“I didn’t think that tree was gonna be able to last much longer at the rate you were going.”_

Lexa’s eyes snapped open at the sound of a familiar voice. She whipped her head around only for her eyes to see one of her closest of friends, her nearest of sisters.

_“Anya?”_

Anya nodded in confirmation as she slowly made her way to her tortured friend. It had taken Anya all of two days to finally track her down. She was relieved to see Lexa, though it troubled her to see the brunette in such an unhinged state. **_‘It’s been so long since things were this bad.’_** She thought.

_“What are you doing out here?”_ Lexa questioned as she fully turned her body around and faced Anya head on.

_“I heard the waterfall in this area was the talk of the town.”_ Anya quipped in her usual deadpan tone.

_“You didn’t need to come looking for me, I can look after myself.”_

_“Must everything be all about you? Someone is a serious narcissist I see.”_ Anya shot back with a lazy raised brow. _“But since you and I are here, how’s everything on the Lexa front?”_

Lexa’s shoulders tensed at the question. Lexa and Anya’s relationship was always a rather puzzling one to anyone on the outside looking in, but the way they communicated with one another was tinged in secret code. So, when Anya asks _‘how’s everything on the Lexa front’_ what she truly means is, _‘I heard what happened, I know something is wrong and we’re not leaving here until it’s all out in the open.’_ Only but so many people were easy for Lexa to talk to about her feelings within this world, and Anya was pretty much at the top of that list, with Clarke and Luna tying for close seconds.

_“An…I…”_ Lexa’s voice had all the trouble in the world translating her thoughts, so instead she looked into Anya’s eyes. Conveying as much as she could.

Anya nodded in understanding. _“Come on, show me this waterfall I keep hearing about.”_

***

_“Are you sure it’s alright for you to stay the night again?”_ Clarke asks Raven as her friend sat beside her on the couch. Two cups of tea in hand.

_“Of course, it’s alright. You really think I’d leave you by yourself through this Clarkey?”_ Raven responded with her signature smirk as she gives Clarke her cup. _“Besides, my beau is out there looking for yours, like hell Imma be at home playing the waiting game.”_

Clarke took a sip of her tea and nodded. _“Yeah, it’s been two days. Has she called you yet?”_

_“She called this morning to check in and we’ve texted back in forth since. Last I heard she was talking to Roan about Lex’s whereabouts and thinks she knows where she’s at exactly.”_

Clarke hummed, a distant look in her eyes as she thought about the fighter. She’d been worrying non-stop since everything happened. To see Lexa so trapped, so hurt, really kept her awake these last few nights. All she wanted was to hold her, make her feel less lost. Less alone even. And yet, a part of her couldn’t help but fear the woman with the viridian eyes. But was it Lexa she feared, or…

_“You alright in there Clarkey?”_

Clarke snapped her attention to Raven as her friends’ voice caught her ear. _“Huh?”_

_“I asked if you were alright. Think I lost you there for a second.”_

Clarke let out a sigh. _“Yeah. Just, in my head at the moment.”_

_“Well, don’t keep us all in suspense here.”_ Raven poked Clarke in the side causing her to giggle a bit. Raven always knew how to make her smile through even her hardest of times. She’s proved herself to be the loyalist of friends’ time and time again.

_“I just…I’m worried about her Rae. I’d never seen her so…”_ Clarke hesitated for a moment; gauging her mind for the appropriate words. _“…so, broken…”_

Raven hummed in agreement. _“Well, Ann says that they’ve gone through some rather fucked up shit growing up.”_

_“Like what?”_

Raven sighed. _“She refuses to go into detail. Says it’s something she rather not talk about until the three of warrior women were all on the same page about when it was time to open up about whatever deep dark secrets they’ve got locked away in their batcave.”_

Clarke nodded. _“Yeah, Lex’s told me something similar once.”_

Raven shrugged. _“All I know is if they come out and tell us they actually are fighters by day and vigilantes by night there’s no way in hell I’m playing Alfred to Ann’s Batman. I gonna be Red Hooding that shit with her.”_

Clarke busted out laughing, almost spitting out her drink. _“Seriously Rae? Doesn’t Red Hood kill criminals while Batman just beats them up? It’ll make you and Ann rivals if anything.”_

Raven shrugs again as she smirks. _“Specifics.”_ The women share in a laugh at the ridiculousness of the idea. Though Raven comments how she might have Anya get a Batman costume one day for a roleplay. Something Clarke adamantly begged her not to go into detail about. _“Okay, okay. I’ll just tell you how it turns out after the fact.”_

Clarke chuckles. _“Seriously Rae, I’m good not knowing.”_

Raven nods. _“Anyways, now that I’ve softened you up a bit…”_

**_‘Here we go.’_** Clarke prepared herself.

_“…are you thinking about him too?”_

Clarke swallowed hard, nodding her head without looking at Raven. It’s been a long time since she’s thought about him. Even longer since she’d seen or heard from the bastard. And yet the slightest reminder still erupted a discomfort that had taken time to dull in her chest.

Raven could see the inner turmoil boiling up inside her best friend. She sat her cup of tea down, scooted closer to Clarke, then wrapped a comforting arm around both her shoulders. Clarke responded by laying her head against her, and before she knew it tears began to fall from her eyes.

_“Shhh.”_ Raven cooed. _“It’s alright Clarke. I’m here, I’m here.”_

***

_“When was the last time?”_ Anya asked after her a while of her and Lexa sitting in silence little ways away from the grand waterfall in front of them.

Lexa kept her eyes forward as she answered. _“Been a few months.”_

_“Since she and Aden came around, yeah?”_

Lexa nodded. _“They’ve been keeping the demons away better than Maya to be honest.”_ Maya Vie was a therapist Lexa had been going to off and on since she relocated to California.

_“Don’t let the Doc hear that, lest she’ll start actually charging you for all those free sessions she’s given you.”_

Lexa chuckled. _“I’m sure I’m in the clear there. Last we spoke she said Jasper owed me his life.”_

Anya cocked a brow at that. _“Let me guess, you won him another bet?”_

Lexa nodded with a smile. _“$3, 000 I hear.”_

_“Not bad.”_

They were quiet for another beat. Just letting the atmosphere channel their thoughts. This is usually how their conversations went, the only way they could talk about heavy subjects without either of them feeling the need to run off.

_“So, how did you find me exactly?”_ Lexa asked.

_“Roan.”_ Anya answered. _“I went by your house first to check on the mutt.”_

_“Titus.”_ Lexa said with bite in her tone.

_“Tomato, tomato.”_ Anya shrugged. _“I figured no matter what state of asshole you were in, you’d make sure his smelly ass was at least looked after.”_

**_‘Well, can’t say she doesn’t know me.’_** Lexa thought.

_“When I saw he wasn’t there, I did some digging. Figured the only other people besides us and the Griffin gang that you’d trust to look after your faithful K-9 was Roan and his sister. I dropped by, saw I was right and asked him if he knew where you’d gone. He said you looked a mess, so he guessed you’d try to go someplace that would calm your mind. I remembered you jabbering on about how peaceful this place was so I put my money on here.”_ Anya said as she gestured to the area around them.

_“Can’t say I’m not impressed.”_

_“Yeah. Should be a detective someday if this MMA gig doesn’t pan out.”_

Lexa chuckled. _“Right, cause’ you totally wouldn’t just shoot a perp in the leg if he were fleeing the scene.”_

_“Don’t run if you’re not guilty I say. You run, then you’re fair game. Like hell I’m chasing your ass down a highway.”_ Anya retorted nonchalantly.

The comment made Lexa laugh. Her friend was another level of ridiculous, but it was more a positive than a negative.

_“I think it’s time, Lex.”_ Anya said after a while. She has a feeling her friend was gonna put up some resistance, but she felt this had to happen. _“We’ve been around those women for some time now. Luna seems to be in the heart-eyes state with O. I couldn’t say no to that damn mechanic even if I wanted to, and you are so gross for Clarke I’m surprised I haven’t stumbled into you two fucking on the couch just yet.”_

_“Give it time.”_ Lexa quipped.

_“I’ll pass, but at least it would be progress.”_ Anya playfully hit Lexa’s shoulder, forcing green eyes to meet hazel ones. _“We can trust them, Lex. If we really want them to be main stayers in our lives, they have to know all the ugly that came with us being who we are now.”_

Lexa knew she was right. There weren’t a lot of times where she wasn’t. _“I know, Ann. But…it’s…it’s hard.”_

**_‘I don’t doubt it, in your case especially.’_** Anya thought. _“The greatest things you achieve in life tend to only happen after going through some bad shit Lex.”_ Anya placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder and squeezed. _“I love Raven, Lex.”_

Lexa turned to Anya, the eyes of her older friend softer than she’s ever seen them.

_“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with that pain in the ass and will check off all the lesbian stereotypes that exist with her till I’m dead in the ground.”_

Lexa couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

_“And you love that spunky boy and his mother.”_

Lexa kept staring at Anya. Her eyes agreeing though her words remained silent.

_“Let’s tell them so we can all be fluffy and gross together.”_

Lexa swallowed at her words. Anya was right. Lexa knew that the only way she could ever move forward, and the only way Clarke would ever understand or possibly forgive her for her actions was tell her the truth. The whole truth. **_‘She deserves to know.’_** Lexa was tired of the one-night stands. Tired of being alone. Tired of hurting and running, when the opportunity to have all the things she’s ever wanted stood right in front of her. Basically, waiting for her to just take that step through the door. She wasn’t ready to talk about it. ‘I never am.’ But it was time. It was time for her to finally stop cowering to inner demons and share her pain with the woman and kid she was sure she’s falling in love with. It was time.

_“Okay.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I was hoping to have this up sooner, since this month marked the 1st year anniversary of me writing this fic lol damn time flies. This was more like a way of bridging the gap between the last chapter and the next one. The next one is gonna be very angst heavy cuz you’re finally gonna learn Lexa’s background. Which, after hearing some feedback, will be written in first person. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Tell me your thoughts. Share with me your favorite moments so far. Was it cool seeing Anya’s POV for a second? Are you ready to hear what’s got Lexa so closed off and scared? Are you curious on what Clarke might be hiding as well? Comments keep me alive and well.  
> If ya interested in chatting or just geeking out with me you can find me on Tumblr: wolfjillyjill  
> Or YouTube: GuadianWolfJilly2


	19. “…As I Enter the Shadows”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa’s POV. Lexa tells her full story.   
> This has to be the longest chapter I’ve ever written, so buckle in. Heavy, heavy angst guys. Read with caution.   
> ***TW (I can’t stress this enough): GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, CHILD ABUSE, FORCED IMPRISONMENT, THREATS OF/ATTEMPTED RAPE, SELF-LOATHING

Chapter 19: “…As I Enter the Shadows”

***Present Day***

_“It’s late.”_ Her voice, laced in controlled anger.

Lexa visibly swallowed. _“I know.”_

_“What are you doing here?”_

Lexa stiffened from her outward display of distrust. She didn’t like it, especially directed towards herself, but she definitely knew she deserved it. She cleared her throat, hardened her resolve, then said, _“I’m here to apologize, Clarke.”_ Clarke watched her with a heavy gaze. Calculating, troubled, but thankfully not cold. **_‘That’s somewhat of a relief.’_** Lexa figured. The warmth that Clarke had always gifted her with remained, which means she still had a chance. **_‘I could still make this right.’_**

After a moment of self-deliberating Clarke gave Lexa a short nod then turned on her heel, walking into the house and leaving the door open behind her. Lexa took this as a sign for her to come in so she followed, closing the door softly behind her. Lexa always felt nothing but joy whenever she walked into the Griffin household. It had become like a second home for her, but in this instance, all she could feel was dread, sorrow, a choking panic nesting in her chest, but she was here with a mission. One in which there was no room for failure. Clarke gestured to her couch while she made her way over to where Aden’s bedroom was. She poked her head into the darkness, **_‘Probably checking that he’s still asleep.’_** , before she closed it as carefully as possible. Lexa watched as the ever so beautiful older woman waltzed into her kitchen, opened a cabinet and rummaged through it until she produced a small box.

Lexa quirked a brow, _“You smoke?”_

Clarke gave her a pointed look reading, **_‘Don’t you dare test me right now.’_** Before taking one of the cancer sticks (as Lexa likes to call them) out of the box, lights it, then takes a long pull. After a moment of basking in whatever euphoria such an act awarded her, _“I was worse in my teens, but now I only do it now when I’m on edge.”_ Clarke answered as she made her way over to where Lexa was and sat on the cushion beside her.

Lexa visibly swallowed at the notion that she herself was the current reason for the carefree artist being _‘on the edge’_ as she described it. _“Oh, right, that makes sense.”_

The tension in the air was palpable, to say the least. Lexa could feel the small beats of sweat traveling down the expense of her neck as she and Clarke sat in the quiet atmosphere around them. Lexa knew the ball was in her court. She’s the one who decided to drop by unannounced at Clarke’s home way too late in the night to be considerate. But the fear that usually accompanied her whenever the subject of being honest about her issues came about, was holding a firm grasp on her vocal cords. No matter how she struggled to breathe out its essence, the control it exuded was unmatched.  

_“So…?”_ Clarke broke the tension.

_“…so…”_

Clarke sighed with exhaustion. _“Lexa, it’s been a week.”_

_“…I know…”_

_“A whole damn week, and you made no effort to contact me or Aden for that matter after you finally resurfaced.”_ The frustration making itself known in her tone. _“I only even knew you were back here because Anya told Raven, who told me. Do you have any idea how much Aden worried about you?”_ Clarke took a calming breath to keep herself from screaming. _“…how much, I, worried about you?”_

Lexa swallowed what felt like bile in her throat. More guilt than she already inhabited nesting in her veins.

_“When Aden came home this week he asked if I knew where you were. What happened to you. He’d gone to the gym multiple times looking for you.”_

Lexa’s hand twitched at the knowledge of that. _“…I…I know. Luna told me as much.”_

_“Then why Lex? I thought he was important to you….”_ Clarke paused. _“…I thought I was…”_

Lexa immediately snapped to attention at those words. She grasped Clarke’s hand with stellar speed. Cradled it between her fingers like it was the most precious and delicate thing she could ever have in her grasp. _“I do! God, I do Clarke. I care for you, for him, both of you. There is no question about that.”_

A small tear escaped the pool of cerulean eyes looking at her with confusion, uncertainty, and hurt. _“…where did you go then Lex? Why did you feel the need to run and hide from us, of all people?”_

Lexa wiped the stray droplet from Clarke’s cheek and nestled her hand against the warmth the skin there. Broken fingers delicately tracing a path against it. _“I needed time, Clarke. I needed time to figure out what to say to you. How to apologize and explain the reasoning for why I…”_ Lexa’s voice broke as the words left her, _“…I hurt you…”_ Green eyes quickly glance at the faded marks on the neck of the woman whom had stolen her heart effortlessly, before returning to the ocean blues, _“…I felt so much guilt, anger…pain over what I had done. I didn’t know if there would be any way you’d want to have anything to do with me after that.”_

Clarke nodded in understanding. _“I get it. You were scared. But Lexa we’re friends. I thought we had come close enough to the point where you’d know that I wouldn’t immediately cast you out for something like that before talking it through first.”_

_“I know, I know. And once I did realize that, I made it right over here to you. Determined as hell to fix what I’ve done.”_

Clarke rested her hand over the one that still stroked her cheek, giving it an encouraging squeeze. _“Well, here you are. Here I am. Talk to me, Lex, please.”_

Lexa nodded in agreement. She removed her hand from Clarke, cradling both in her own lap. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, **_‘You can do this.’_** , and when she opened them to look at Clarke, she spoke, _“You know a few things from my childhood. How rough it had been, but there’s more. So much more…”_

***14 years ago***

The first thing I could feel was cold. That eerie familiar bite into my skin that sent chills masquerading as blood through my veins. I should be used to it by now, but really, what child should be used to something like this? A wince escapes my mouth as I try to move my limbs. Hands and feet decorated with the metallic shackles that force me to remain on my knees. Painful as they were, they most certainly weren’t the worst I’ve endured in this place. Desperate to withdraw myself from the current predicament, I looked upon the cubed space those people dared to call _‘our room’_ to find something, anything really, as a means of distraction. In an instant, my eyes caught the figure of both my dearest of friends, Anya and Luna, both like me. Cold, shaken, chained, and enclosed in cages meant for beasts, not children or any human being for that matter.

I lost track of time of how long we had been kept here. It might have been a few years, maybe decades, who could say? Do you really pay attention to the amount of times the clock strikes after laying in your own waste for hours on end with shallow cuts broken into your skin by a hard switch that she liked to call her sword? Her. Nia. The woman who saw us as nothing more than slaves and practice dummies.

It hadn’t been long after I turned 10-years-old that the devil woman came knocking at the orphanages door. She wore fancy clothes, and even fancier jewelry around her neck as she strutted into our humbled walls. A tall, bald man dressed similarly on her arm. Anya had heard that she and her husband, Quint, had been having trouble conceiving children and were looking for at least three to return home with them. She and her husband wore smiles of mock kindness along their cheeks. Things I wish I had seen through before, with promises of the greatest life any little girl or boy could ask for. They showed pictures of their extravagant estate. Provided false proof of their blooming tailor business, and bore crocodile tears of sorrow over the fact that they had no extended family to share such wonders with.

They played their part, and they played it very well. For we all were fooled. Me, Anya, Luna, the head mistresses. We were webbed into their great tale of adventures and dreams for the world. So much so that the three of us begged, and volunteered ourselves to become the daughters they so wished to have. How wrong, and naïve we were.

For an entire six months, we lived in that fantasy when they finally brought us all here. To this place we were supposed to call home. Long enough to secure the final house visit from Richard, the agent who handle the legal stuff, and for the orphanage to feel confident that they had gifted us with the perfect home. The perfect family. With the most perfect of parents. But all, was not as it seemed. Slowly but surely, things started to change.

The first time she yelled at me was after I had spilled some juice on one of her Persian rugs. The rug white, my juice red, not a flattering combination.

_“You useless piece of shit!”_ She called me before I was sent to my room in tears. After a while, it had become normal that she never called me by my real name, Lexa. I was always _‘Brat. Bitch. Leech. Or her favorite title, Worthless.’_ The kindness of the woman I’d thought I’d finally get to call mother, was gone in a flash.

The first time she hit me was even more memorable. The three of us were tasked with cleaning the house in its entirety while they were away for the afternoon. They had come home at the convenient moment when I broke one of the vases. She heard the crash and came running. Not to check that we were alright, but to find the perfect reason to scold us yet again.

_“Bitch! Do you know how much the vase costs? It’s worth more than your worthless little ass!”_ Her screaming thundered through the house.

_“Please, stop! It wasn’t her fault.”_ Anya, always the one trying to come to my rescue. Always the one who paid for it. _“I scared her while she was cleaning it.”_ Lies, we both know I’m as clumsy as they come. _“It’s my fault, not hers.”_

_“No!”_ I couldn’t bare it again. The bruise on Anya’s cheek had just finally begun to heal after the last time. I couldn’t stand to see a new one take its place so soon. _“No, she didn’t. It slipped out of my hands. I’m sorry mama, I’m so…”_ The first thing that registers to me is that I’m on the floor. I swear I wasn’t before I blacked out, but now I was. A warm sticky liquid swam through my mouth, glittering my taste buds with a metallic substance I had not been familiar with. I look at the floor beneath me and see droplets of red. The puddle growing as more collected from the stream escaping my mouth. And then the pain came. It was like a shock that rang true through my lips into my head. It took me a second but I finally registered what had happened. She hit me. She yelled, she screamed, but now…she had actually hit me. I looked up to see cold, seething blue eyes staring daggers into my very soul.

_“Don’t you ever call me that you filthy, worthless waste of breath,”_ Her voice was venomous, lacking any sense of tenderness you would expect from a mother. _“I am not your mama. I am not your family. I own you, and you are all my property.”_

Anya tried to come to my side, but Nia slapped her hard across the face, sending her flying momentarily through the air before her body hit the floor with a loud thud. _“Quint!”_ Nia called out. Her husband appeared in the doorway with Luna struggling within his grasp. _“Is the room finally ready?”_

_“Yes, my queen. I finished up the final touches last night.”_ He replied with his deep voice, a sinister smile creeping along his face.

_“Good.”_ Nia replied. _“Get them down there at once so we can start getting them prepared as soon as possible.”_

Quint nodded once before he slapped Luna. My immediate instincts to protect her kicked in and I raised to my feet, charging head on towards Quint. Before I could reach him, a stinging pain lurched across my back, followed by a cracking sound. The unexpected force tamed me to my knees, as a blood curtailing scream shot from my mouth. I had never felt so much pain before in my life. The tears rimmed my eyes, as the sensation rooted through my skin.

The first slap Quint dealt Luna wasn’t enough to put her out, so he did it again, silencing her cries for mercy.

_“…No!”_ Anger built within me, giving me the push I needed to stand again and attempt to rescue the sweetest soul among us. But it was to no avail. The pain from before came at me again, this time more intensely than the one before, forcing my whole body to lose steam, my head crashing to the floor below me.

_“This one’s got spunk.”_ I could scarcely hear Nia say in her version of a compliment. _“Let’s work her the hardest.”_ I heard her say as my entire world went black. I did not know what she meant by that then, but soon I learned, and I wished the strike had killed me instead.

We had risen some time later that day to find ourselves in our underwear, shackles on our arms and legs, our movements restricted within a metal box with angry bars. We each had been in our own, spaced out among the poorly lit room.

_“Anya! Luna!”_ I called out to them. All I got was answering groans. _“Are you guys okay?”_

_“Other than this splitting headache? Yeah, I’m alive.”_ Anya replied.

_“My mouth hurts.”_ Luna replied weakly, fighting the need to whimper.

_“Where are we?”_ I asked, knowing full well they probably knew just as much as I.

_“Judging by our current predicament,”_ Anya, always the one with sassy quips and fancy vocabulary. _“We’re not in Kansas anymore.”_

We all jumped at the sound of what seemed like a heavy door lifting. Within seconds a shine of light came into the room, followed by two familiar figures. The wolves whom dressed in sheep’s clothing.

_“Ahh, you’re all finally awake.”_ Nia spoke, _“Saved us from having to force you all up.”_

_“Where are we!?”_ Anya demanded. _“What did you do with our clothes and why are we in cages!?”_

Nia scoffed at her then turned to her husband. _“Quint, if you would.”_

The large man nodded then made his way over to Anya’s cage. He pulled out what looked to be a nightstick and struck her hard into her abdomen. Causing her to crumble to her knees and cradle her burning ego.

_“There will be no more sass mouthing out of you little blondie.”_ Nia said with an unruly smile. _“Not that I need to explain myself to likes of you, but I’ve decided to be generous. Your little fairytale life is over. You belong to us now, and you will help with keeping this land and our wealth as plentiful as we see fit. Starting from today you all will become my obedient little slaves. You will be put to work, and trained to fight like the beasts that you are.”_

**_‘To fight?’_** To say I was confused was an understatement. Fight what? Whom were we supposed to be defending ourselves against, if not from Nia and Quint themselves? I learned the answer to that question not long after.

For you see, Nia and Quint Queen were not as they seemed. I learned later that they were really Nia and Quint Azgeda. People whom dealt in gambling and underground fight rings for minors. They fled here from Europe, where they were nearly caught, and changed their identities so they could pass for normal, law abiding citizens in the United States. Because of their connections, they had their fingers in all sorts of illegal dealings, but never enough to get themselves arrested. Overseas they took abandoned children and trained them to be proficient fighters, for which they’d use to fight in pits. It’s how they earned all the wealth they have now. How they bought off any dirty cop that came sniffing around their land. They had been so successful over there that they figured once they were settled in the States, they’d continue their dealings here.

And so, began our slow descent into hell.

Everyday they kept us in those cages. Screamed and shouted orders into our ears that tore through our senses. Chanting vulgarities in our heads about how we were nothing. How were meant for nothing. We’d be, nothing. How no one would ever come looking for us because no one actually loved us. **_‘No one will ever love you, you piece of worthless shit.’_** She would say to me specifically. Forcing my mind to believe it at times when I was at my weakest.

In the mix of them training us to fight, they’d beat us, mostly when we disobeyed or tried to argue. I couldn’t stand to see any more damage done to Anya and Luna, so when I knew they were at their wits end, prepared to start a struggle, I’d do it first. They were my best friends. My sisters. I had to protect them. Every time, the Azgeda’s gladly turned their vengeance solely onto me. Nia favored whipping with her antique slavers crop or a switch, while Quint liked to use his barehand or his _‘trusty’_ nightstick. After a while you could connect the dots on all the scratches, scars and indents on my skin. I remember Nia saying that it would work in my favor to intimidate my opponents. Whatever that meant.

Part of me felt that they took pure pleasure in just inflicting pain on us. There were times after they’d beat us senseless that we’d hear them fucking obnoxiously and loudly upstairs. Hearing Quint’s grunts and Nia’s screeching was torture enough in itself.

When we started to come of age when our bodies were maturing, they entered us into our first matches. I lost all 6 of my first bouts, because I refused to fight for them. Anya lost 2, won 4. Luna won 3 and lost 3. They’d lost the will to deny Nia and Quint, so they went along to survive. I on the other hand, had grown rebellious. A thorn in their posh asses. Despite being starved, forced to sleep in my waste and be without a proper washing for days on end, and being hit so hard my baby teeth had all fallen out, I smiled through the pain and the blood at how frustrated they grew with every loss at my hand. I thought I could keep it up. Keep finding ways to poke at their armor. But, they eventually found my Achilles heel.

_“I knew you’d be a tough one to break.”_ Nia said. _“But, I think I finally figured out how to make you cooperate.”_

Quint gripped me by throat. Strangling hard enough to make me struggle for air, but not enough to fully pass out. Nia continued, _“If you don’t start playing along with our rules, I’m gonna let my honey here have some fun with those two sisters of yours. I think Anya’s his favorite.”_

Fear spiked through my body at the implications. We all had started to take rather attractive shapes at this point. I think me and Luna had to be 12, making Anya 14. We weren’t blind to the looks Quint had started to give us, especially in Anya’s case. The disturbing ways he tried to touch as he taught us grappling moves on the ground. Or how he’d wink at us when he brought the bathing bucket. Her threat was loud and clear. I had to stop putting up a fight or face seeing that monster defile the only two people I loved in this world. I had to protect them. I will always protect them.

_“Do I make myself clear?”_ Nia asked after she let me soak in the dread of her threat.

_“…y-yes…”_ I choked out as best I could.

_“Will we have any more problems with you going forward?”_

_“…n-no…”_ My struggling ceasing and my arms falling to my sides in a show of absolute submission.

_“Good.”_ Nia smirked devilishly before Quint punched me in the gut, for good measure, before my world went black.

I never lost a fight again after that. My opponents, kids my age, older, and some younger, all fell at my might. I became their golden ticket to the big time. Their fierce little monster that devoured every piece of meat thrown my way. None of them stood a chance. But with every win, I felt the person I was disappearing. With every scream I caused, they echoed in my ears. With every bone I broke, the cracks played like a soundtrack. With every single body I left lifeless and weakened on the floor, I remembered the price that needed to be payed. Every look of fear I drew from them, as well as the on lookers, I felt the guilt silently build within me.

At night, I dreamt of them all. I saw them all. Heard them all. And bit by bit, my sanity was ripped to shreds. I hated whom they made me become. So much so, that I began to black out while allowing my body to do what it was trained to do. To cause unbearable pain, break bones and spill blood with my very hands. I had to protect Anya and Luna. I had to. For them I would do anything, regardless of what I would become.

The clinking of chains brought me back to the present. Anya had finally awoken it seems. I was glad, I hated being trapped in my head.

_“Lex…”_ Anya called out weakly.

_“I’m here Ann.”_ My voice scratchy from not having drank anything in hours or using my voice for a while.

_“I think Luna’s still asleep. How’s ya jaw feeling?”_

In my latest bout, a boy got a cheap shot on me that nearly took my jaw out. I prevailed though, and gifted him with a broken tibia as a thank you. _“I’m alright. Had worse. How’s your arm?”_

Anya had been forced into a handicap match a few days ago. She took out the first girl without an issue, the second one gave her a run for her money though. Put her in an armlock that I’m sure would have given me some trouble, grabbling wasn’t really my thing. But my girl Ann won out and took her down with her signature headlock. Girl lasted no more than a minute before she tapped.

_“Tender as a sirloin steak, but otherwise bearable.”_

I chuckled at her remark. Despite the long years of being under the Azgeda’s thumbs, Anya never lost her sassiness when we were alone. _“Good to know.”_

Our conversation came to a halt when we heard that familiar sound of keys going into the heavy metal doors that blocked any essence of light from us. Loud enough that it forced Luna to jolt awake. Within seconds our tormenters made their way down the cellar, and stood in front of our cages.

_“Good morning my lovely little money makers.”_ Nia addressed us. _“I’m happy to say that Luna’s recent loss didn’t put us too deep in the whole. Another opportunity has come to our door step.”_ She directed the next part of her sentence to me. _“Worthless, you will be the one to restore honor to our house. You will be facing against a true veteran in the cage, Natasha.”_

My eyes widened at the reveal. Natasha was no ordinary opponent. Other than me, she was toughest and strongest of fighters in the circuit. We had heard to whispers of how sometimes she’d lose so much control that she’d killed two people with her bare hands. She felt no remorse, no mercy. She was a machine who felt nothing. The very thing Nia had wanted me to be.

_“Now, maybe you can prove whether you’re actually worthless or not. If you lose, you know what will happen.”_ Nia smiled venomously, Quint sharing a similar sentiment, before they laughed and made their way out the cellar. Darkness engulfing us once again.

I had never been so terrified in all my life. I had faced many people over the last few years, but none so intimidating as the demon in front of me. She was muscle on top of muscle. Her eyes dark, lifeless. Her nose scenting blood from the fights before. Her smile twisted and fear invoking. Her sights were trained on me. Her intentions abundantly clear. She was here to win. To conquer me. To kill me if necessary. And I had no doubt in my mind that if given the chance, she most certainly would. As the announcements finished, the bell rang, I swallowed hard before lifting my fists and facing my fate.

Without sparing even a second, she came barreling at me. I side stepped at the last minute and punched her in the side of her face as swiftly as I could, before distancing myself. My hit landed, but she ate it like it was nothing. She smirked then came at me again. The woman was like a bull, so I tried to side step again, but she stopped short and threw a left hook that landed hard on my cheek. I was sent flying across the ring, the sound of people screaming, cheering, booing all the like. It hurt like hell. I could feel blood already building in my mouth, but I ignored it and focused on the task at hand. I can’t lose. I recovered and went back into my guard.

Natasha came at me again, but this time I faced her head on. I ran as fast as I could, then at the right moment I pulled off a high jumping knee that crashed right into her jaw. She grunted in pain, the first sign that she was actually human, before she fell onto her back. I could see she was still conscious, so I took the opportunity to mount her on top. Once secured in place I delivered the fiercest of ground and pound that I had ever done in my life. Continuously I landed lefts and rights into her face. Never stopping, even after I started to see more blood than facial features in my wake. I can do this. I’m gonna win. Anya and Luna were safe for another day…or so I thought.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Natasha grabbed both my hands in hers, stopping me from my continued assault. She used her arms and legs to completely overpower me and pushed me off her with such force that I was suspended in mid-air for a moment before crashing to the ground on my back. We both stood to our feet, me a bit slower than her, unfortunately. She came charging at me like a bat outta hell. Grappled me into body-to-body position, before side slamming me into the ground, knocking the wind right outta me. Between all the energy I used to ground and pound her before, and the sheer force of the slam, my body had reached its limit. With the upper hand in her corner, she wrapped me into triangle head lock. Her muscle-bound legs daring to strangle the life outta me.

I had a choice to make. Either tap here, lose, and have to suffer through seeing one or both of my sisters being tortured by that hulk of creature that dared call himself a man, or die here. I’d be set free, but then what would happen to them? Would it be worse or better than what Nia had promised years ago. I didn’t know what to do, it seemed I’d lose no matter which way it went. Before I could even come to a decision, my life hanging in the balance, the bell was rung. The fight was over. Someone had thrown the towel in for me. I lost. Natasha won.

When the beast of a woman finally let go, I turned my head to my corner and saw who had dared to save my life. It was Anya and Luna. Both had thrown it. Both had chosen to save me, not knowing what fate had in store for them as a consequence.

**_‘No. No. No…what have I done…’_** I should have not fought the Azgeda’s in the first place. I should have listened. Maybe then the ultimatum would not have been handed. Maybe then, they wouldn’t have to suffer because of me…

That night changed everything. That night, could be seen as the very worst, and the very best for me.

Nia was furious. _“You worthless little shit head.”_ She screamed as she slapped me hard across my back with her switch. My arms shackled together, my right foot attached to a chain that was connected to the walls. The floor biting fiercely into my knees. My body ached, but not from her ministrations. My mind felt the assault more. Her barks still hurt worse than her bites at this point. _“Do you realize how much money you just cost us!”_

I looked back into her demonic eyes with a similar stare of my own. I knew what was at stake. She didn’t have to remind me. Her money meant nothing to me… ** _’but Anya and Luna…my sisters…’_** , my train of thought was interrupted by another violent crack of her switch into the already battered skin on my abdomen. I’m pretty sure she’s opened another wound there. I could feel the familiar path of blood exiting what’s sure to be new additions to my scars.

_“You think this is a game, bitch?”_

**_‘No…’_** I wanted to answer, but my jaw hurt so badly words died in my throat.

_“You know the penalty for losing. I warned you, and now you’re all gonna pay the price.”_

**_‘No…please!’_** The words burned in my skull, but remain untouched by my tongue.

“Quint!”

_“Yes, my queen.”_

**_‘No…’_ **

_“You may do as you please. While I make a few calls.”_

**_‘…n-no…’_** my voice continues to betray me.

_“Thank you, my love.”_ He smiles as if she just offered him season passes to all the Lakers games.

_“I’ll return momentarily.”_ Nia said before turning to me. _“Enjoy the show, little brat.”_ With that she left the room. Leaving the three of us in the hands of this man whom was just as, if not sicker and twisted as she was. They were a match made in hell.  

With Nia gone, Quint turned his sights on Anya and Luna. Both helpless in their cages. Both still bound as I was. _“Why hello, my pretty little darlings.”_ He said with a sickening, sweet tone. _“Looks like we’re all gonna have a little fun.”_

This man. This beast was going to defile the only two people I’ve ever loved since I lost my father, and there was nothing I could do. **_‘This is my fault…mine…’_** Tears welled up in my eyes as Quint analyzed his two prospects, as if they were cattle waiting for the slaughter. Bile rose from my stomach into my throat when he decided on the oldest of us, and most physically matured of us, his favorite, Anya.

He opened the cage and advanced on her.

_“No! Leave her alone!”_ Luna begged, rattling the chains keeping down.

He laughed as Anya struggled away from him as much as the tight cage would allow. He grabbed her by the arms, she pulled them away. He grabbed her by the legs, she refused to give in still. Anya was a fighter. She wasn’t going to just let him take what he wanted. Which brought to mind, **_‘It’s probably why he chose her.’_**

I couldn’t just let this happen. I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing while my best of friends was to pay for my mistakes. Not today, not now, not ever. Attacking either of them, was as good as attacking me.

I struggled against my confines with all of my might. I pulled at the chain on my leg as hard as I could. These walls were old, and at one point very sturdy, but I refuse to let them stop me. I roared as I pulled and tugged. The sound of Luna pleading, and the screams of Anya’s struggle, pushing me to inhumane limits. I’ll die before I let him ruin her. Before I let them break us beyond repair. The ripping of clothing was the straw that broke the camel’s back. With one last pull, the piece of wall holding the chain on me crumbled. I was free.

I turned around to see Anya being held down by the throat. Her hand struggling to remove Quint’s grip. Her top in pieces beside her, while his other hand reached for her underwear. I rose on shaken legs and made a b-line straight for them. His hand had made it into her underwear, but before her could deal any further trauma, I used the shackles on my hands and wrapped them around his throat.

_“I won’t let you hurt her!”_ I roared as I tugged him off of her. His breath breaking against the metal. He fell with his back on top of my front, but I used that to my advantage. I wrapped my legs around his body, securing him in my grasp, then used all the strength I had to strangle him around his neck with the very things that kept us prisoners for so long. He tried to put up a fight. Flailing his arms with abandon, and trying to roll us. But my will was stronger.

**_‘Break him!’_** A dark voice in my head called to me. One I only heard whenever I had to fight for my life. **_‘Make him suffer as he did you.’_**

And suffer he did. Every so often I would let up a bit. Give him hope that he’d be spared, only to tighten even harder. _“You will know our pain. You will feel our fear. And you will rot like the waste that you are.”_ I whispered darkly into his ear.

Minutes later, when his struggling had begun to wean, I decided it was time to end this. With one swift motion, I snapped his neck in two. His body went limp immediately. He was dead. He was finally dead.

I took a breath, allowing the realization to soak in for a moment. **_‘I killed a man. I killed another human being.’_**

_“…Lex…”_

I didn’t have long to let the thought seep in much longer as I heard Anya’s broken voice. _“...Ann? A-are you alright?”_

_“I-I am…I am…”_ She answered, relief finding its way into her.

I made the effort to get Quint off of me. Once done, I checked his pockets, finding the keys to our shackles, cages and the cellar. I unlocked myself as quickly as I could, before passing it over in Anya’s direction.

_“Q-Quint…”_

I froze in my spot as the familiar sound of my other torturer made her presence known.

_“What have you done!”_ Nia screamed. And for the first time I saw the slightest bit of humanity within her. Her heart breaking at the sight of the only person she apparently could feel for, laying lifeless at my hand. _“You will pay for this!”_

Without warning she came charging at me. Crop in hand, ready to dish out a punishment. But what she didn’t realize, was that I was free of my chains. Free of her only means of control. Free… ** _’To take your revenge.’_** My dark ally had readily reminded.

So, as she advanced on me, I turned with lightning speed and superman punched her so hard in her face, that I could feel the exact moment my fist landed, and hear as her nose shattered against it. She cried out in pain. A cry that caused my own devilish smile to take form. **_‘I’ve waited so long to do that.’_** Before Nia could recover, I was on top of her. My legs pinning her arms in place as I stared at her. Her eyes rang with fear I had never seen before. Probably because I was looking at her with blood thirsty intent. I could feel the monster inside me stirring. **_‘The monster she made me be.’_** And now I was going to do to her, what she made me do to those other kids that were just as much victims as I was.

An animalistic scream shouted through the air as my hand took on their duties. I later realized it had actually come from me. But frankly, I didn’t care. With no more hesitation, I unleashed my fury onto the woman whom took me. Imprisoned me. Tortured me. Who did these things to all of us, with no care in the world, no remorse or guilt, no intention of stopping. **_‘She wasn’t going to stop, and neither will I.’_** With that in mind, wave after wave of my fists took purchase into her skull. Her screams, drowned out by the memory of ours. Her tears, forgotten, uncared for. Like she did us. And all the pain I endured since I was 10-years-old took control of my hands as I made the object of my nightmares suffer as she did to us.

Minutes went by, her body had stilled long ago, but my fists felt no will to stop. Her face, a blood-covered mess of barely there flesh. But it did not satisfy my thirst for revenge.

What finally stopped my assault was Anya’s touch to my shoulder. I halted and quickly turned in her direction.

_“It’s over Lex…”_ She spoke softly. _“…she’s gone.”_

_“…s-she…”_ My voice broke as it struggled. The knowledge of that fact, as if I didn’t know that was a possible outcome. Or rather the outcome that fueled the burning in my belly. _“…she would have hurt you…”_

And that’s when I felt them. The wetness against my cheeks. For a while I thought it had been splattered blood, but when I touched them and looked upon my hands, it was tears. Tears mixed the blood of enemies. Staining my hands…forever.

I looked to Anya. Her eyes filled with worry, sorrow, and pity as they looked into mine.

_“I-I…I k-killed…t-them…Ann…”_ A sob broke into my throat. In an instant all the anger, the rage, the hate I felt for those two was replaced by guilt. Because no matter what they did to us, it was still me who ended their lives. Their deaths, staining my hands.

Anya caught me before I could fall, and pulled me off of Nia’s corpse, cradling me in her arms. Soon Luna had join us too. Both had freed themselves in mix of my blood-lusting state. Luna wrapped her arms around both of us. Us all trying to comfort one another. Or, more them trying to comfort me.

We all had our crosses to bare in all this. We all came out with scars…but I had become exactly what Nia and Quint intended me to be. _“…I’m a monster…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you know.   
> I’m not gonna lie, I had to keep myself from crying while writing this, since I’m a victim of bullying & sexual assault. Nothing as intense as what my mind cooked up in Lexa, Anya & Luna’s case, but the guilt is all the same in comparison to Lexa. So, this was kinda personal for me.  
> Anyways, tell me what you think. Was the first-person transition of story-telling okay? Was it what you expected? Was it better or worse? Does Lexa’s behavior and apprehension make more sense now? Have your opinions on Anya & Luna changed at all? (I know some were a little off put by Anya’s bluntness)
> 
> I hope no one was triggered by this. If you were, I’m terribly sorry. It wasn’t my intention. This has always been something therapeutic for me. To share my demons, and connect with other people, but the last thing I want is for anyone to feel hurt over my active/dark imagination.
> 
> I promise though, this is the heaviest of heavy angst you’re gonna get as far as this part of the series goes. It’s gonna be fluffier from here on out, I promise, so don’t be mad at me guys.
> 
> Please leave me your comments, feedback, and thoughts. They fuel my soul and help me get these chapters out sooner.
> 
> Again, if you wanna chat about my story, your story or other (mostly geeky) things, here’s my Tumblr: wolfjillyjill  
> And if you wanna check out my videos, you can find me on YouTube: GuadianWolfJilly2  
> Thank you, guys!


	20. “I Come to You in Pieces…”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke & Lexa’s POV. The Aftermath.   
> Fluffiness, comfort, revelations, and adult content. Enjoy.

Chapter 20: “I Come to You in Pieces…”

***Present Day***

The room was quiet. Well, mostly quiet. All that could be heard was the sobbing of one, Lexa Woods. Lexa wasn’t sure when it had happened, but in the mix of her baring her deepest and darkest of secrets, she had come to be lying in Clarke’s arms. Clarke’s hold was tight, unrelenting. Her hands stroking through the brown mane of her companion. Lexa was sure her story would make Clarke do a lot of things. Gasp, scream, cower, run…but not once did she think that the woman beside her would choose to show her comfort. Maybe her past was to blame for her believing in the worst of people, but she was being proven day in and day out that Clarke was not one of those people.

For she showed nothing but kindness. Compassion. Understanding, in all the ways Lexa assumed were only fairytales… ** _’She really is special.’_**

After some time, Lexa finally calmed down from her state of hysteria. She slowly broke away from Clarke’s embrace, wiping her tears away as best she could. She cleared her throat just in case before she spoke, _“S-so, yeah…that’s all of it.”_

Clarke watched her with tearful eyes. Lexa could tell she had so many questions. Who wouldn’t really? So, she decided to answer what she thought might be on the blonde’s mind. _“I was sixteen. S-sixteen that night that I…that I finally freed us from them. I only found that out because of a calendar they had in their kitchen. We called the cops and they came to get us straight away.”_ Lexa ran her fingers through her hair, untangling what knots she could find. An anxious tick as Maya had told her. _“I still remember the looks on their faces when they arrived at the scene.”_ Lexa turned her head away from Clarke. _“The shear horror, and disbelief in their eyes…just from how unkept we were. Skinny, beaten and bruised.”_ She cleared her throat to combat the rising emotions in her chest, then turned her attention back to Clarke. Tears still held in the dam of her eyes. _“You remember a news story from a few years ago about three girls being kept and involved in an underground fight club?”_

_“The Pennsylvania girls?”_ Clarke asked after a second.

_“Yup, that’s the one.”_

_“The news reports never mentioned names.”_

_“Well, we were minors so…”_

_“…they wanted to keep it out of the press.”_ Clarke finished and Lexa nodded.

Lexa took a deep breath. _“After they, the cops, took us into the station, they made arrangements to get us back into the system. We didn’t want to go back though. Our trust in such things were non-existent for obvious reasons.”_ Clarke nodded in agreement. Lexa leaned back against the couch. _“Since Anya had been Eighteen at the time, she asked the main detective handling our case, Olivia was her name, what steps she would need to take. Olivia grew up in the system herself so she had a soft spot for us and helped Anya become Luna and I’s legal guardian.”_

_“That was nice of her.”_

Lexa nodded. _“Yeah, we still keep in contact with her. Send cards and flowers every year for her birthday. Before Gustus, Indra, Ryder, Roan, and the gang came into our lives, she was all we had. The only person we could truly trust after…after everything…”_ Lexa paused for a moment. She knew what she was about to say might be hard for Clarke to hear, but she needed to get everything out now while she could. _“…300…”_

Clarke raised her brow in confusion.

_“Cuts and scars.”_ Lexa clarified. _“That’s what the medical examiner told me after they did a full physical.”_ Lexa cast her eyes down to the forgotten cups on the coffee table. _“I have 300 cuts and scars of different dimensions along my entire body. Some from my fights, but most from their punishments. A few have faded over the last couple of years, but I still see them…clear as day…when I look in the mirror without the cover up.”_

Clarke covered her mouth with her hand as she let all the details sink in. Lexa couldn’t blame her, it was a lot.

It was later revealed that a litter of over 100 children had been missing along the east coast over the course of several years. All of which were found to be live victims of the notorious ring, or dead because of it. All those involved were apprehended and had been currently serving consecutive life sentences, without any possibility of parole. It was truly a victory for them all. But it would do nothing to erase the pains that all of the victims had endured. And now Clarke had known three of those one hundred poor souls. _“…Lex…I’m…I-I’m so…”_

_“Don’t apologize.”_ Lexa politely interrupted. _“You have nothing to feel sorry about. It wasn’t you who did it to us.”_ Lexa looked away from her, eyes closing as that familiar shame crept into her skin. _“It wasn’t you…who...who turned me into a monster…”_

_“No.”_ Clarke responded firmly. _“No, you’re not.”_

Lexa’s eyes snapped open, and returned her gaze at the sound of Clarke’s voice. What Lexa saw in those blazing blues was something that stole all the stubborn will in her body. Clarke was looking…no staring at her. The sight, a pure embodiment of empathy, forgiveness, and something else. Something Lexa wasn’t sure what to call.

***

Clarke couldn’t let Lexa keep feeling such things about herself. It wasn’t right, not in the least. She had to tell her. She had to make sure Lexa knew that.

She held Lexa’s face in both her hands. Her thumbs, softly massaging the worry lines that had made camp on those godlike cheekbones. Lines that made Lexa age much further than she was. An unjustly action in her opinion.

_“You, Lexa Woods,”_ She spoke as tenderly, and definitively as she could. _“You, are no monster. You were an innocent. A child, who had been failed by the adults meant to protect you. And forced into a life that you did not choose or want for yourself.”_ Clarke lightly swiped away the tears that had begun to fall from Lexa’s eyes, while fighting to keep her own at bay as she continued. _“You are a survivor. You hear me? And a hero. A hero to Anya, Luna, and those other kids who were trapped like you. Had you not gotten free, taken down those sadists, and called for help...who knows how much longer…or worse you all would’ve had to endure?”_

Clarke’s voice broke a bit at the end of that sentence. Her heart filled with rage towards those soulless psychopaths. She hated them for what they had done. For what they probably would have never stopped doing until Anya, Luna, and Lexa were…she shook her head, refocused on the task at hand and continued, _“Lexa, you are one of the bravest; sweetest; most unbelievably strong people I have ever met, and…”_ Her emotions began to feel raw, unhinged. The need to fill her voice with words she’s kept hidden far too long now blooming within her. She swallowed the lump that started to develop in her throat. _“…a-and I want you…to really understand that.”_

Lexa seemed to be calming down, so Clarke decided to take her own hands away from cradling Lexa’s face and shyly placing them aside. She looked deep into the green lushes shown in Lexa’s eyes. Her gaze solely trained on Clarke as if she were the single most important thing in the room. A reflection uncapturable by the most skilled of brushes; unique beyond anything she’d ever seen. The trap was set, and Clarke fell into it head first before she could really understand the effect it was having on her.

Clarke did her best not to get completely lost in those portals of calm, before continuing, _“You’re nothing like what they wanted. You’re no monster, Lex. You’re a person who is adored by millions, beloved by all you come across, a fighter with as much integrity and grace as any legend before you. A dork behind a se…”_ She caught herself, cleared her throat, then said, _“…behind a stone-clad exterior.”_ Clarke smiled her warmest, most genuine of smiles. The one she knew that would always make Lexa blush (Like how she was now. Clear as day, even as Lexa’s eyes were still trained on her). _“Lex…you deserved so much better than what the past has dealt you…and…a-and I car…”_

The words died on Clarke’s tongue as her mouth was suddenly covered with a familiar, yet undeniably pleasant warmth. **_‘Lexa…she’s…’_** a moan escaped her as reality had hit her immediately.

Lexa.

The future women’s champion by all accounts.

Badass of the century.

Hero to her son, and one of the dearest of people in her heart…was kissing her.

There was no warning, no indication of any kind that it had been coming. **_‘And dammit, I don’t care.’_** Clarke thought briefly. She let herself be taken away by the moment. Swept in the security of Lexa’s hand wrapping around the back of her neck. The firm, yet subtle hold of Lexa’s other hand on her hip. Her eyes closing shut as she kissed her back just as intensely. The coiling feeling rising in her lower belly as lips, softer than she ever imagined, claimed her own. She had wanted to taste the plumpness of Lexa lips for so long, and here she was. Her breath getting lost in the shear wonder of it all. The hairs at the back of her neck standing at attention as gooseflesh wrecked her body. It was a kiss that felt better than any other she has ever had before.

After a moment, Lexa disconnected their lips and slowly moved her head away from Clarke, but kept her hands where they were. Both women gasping for air as they tried to come back to their senses. When Clarke had enough of a grip on reality, she opened her eyes. And what she saw both surprised and aroused her.

Black. Pitch black, was all that lived within Lexa’s eyes. Her skin, feverish against the current of breath exchanged between the limited amount of space left between them. Lexa said nothing. All she did was stare at Clarke with blazing desire, and untamable hunger. Clarke had never been looked at in that way before by anyone. She felt a hint of fear from its looming earnestness, but could feel wetness collecting in her panties as Lexa’s focus remained unchanging.

It was obvious that Lexa was itching at the chance to jump Clarke like a predator conquering its prey, and yet she remained still. Waiting, but for what?

A quirked brow was Lexa’s only answer, and Clarke caught on. **_‘She’s…asking permission.’_**

If consent was the only thing keeping this beast of a woman from ravishing Clarke, then by all means. Clarke nodded her consent, and it didn’t take long before she felt that delicious softness on her once more.

***

She couldn’t do it.

She couldn’t hold back anymore.

Clarke had shown her everything she felt she didn’t merit. She gave her the gift of comfort and understanding in a way that no one else in her life had managed to give her. Clarke had no reason to care about her or remain at her side, and yet she did.

 Every day they spent together. Every laugh they shared, meal they ate, moments they had with Aden, and secrets they confided within each other. Lexa never felt those were things she’d ever receive. Never things she felt she could earn…and yet…

_“Lex…you deserved so much better…”_

Those words…those words alone were what finally broke the last of her stubborn darkness. The woman she was falling for thought she should have more…that she actually deserved more. It felt as if Lexa had finally reached an epiphany. Clarke thought Lexa deserved more in her life as a whole, and if that was the case, Lexa was willing to try for such a thing. **_‘I want you.’_** She thought as her body acted of its own volition. She took a leap forward and her lips finally caressed the tenderness of the woman she desired more than any other.

**_‘I want you.’_** Her hands staked their claim on her neck and hip once she heard the moan that escaped Clarke’s lips.

**_‘I want you.’_** Her will was like steel as she felt Clarke reciprocating the kiss back to her. Her body was on fire. Her mind devoured by all the thoughts of what she wanted to do to this woman. How she wanted to have this beautiful, courageous, unreal woman. But her rational mind kicked in. She would not just let a moment like this, no matter how charged it was, get turned into something they didn’t both want equally. She didn’t want to do something with Clarke that the woman might regret when lust wasn’t clouding her mind. **_‘I don’t want to hurt her.’_**

So, Lexa backed off. Once enough space was between them to breathe, no matter how hard, she looked to Clarke and waited. As patiently as she could muster. When Clarke’s eyes met hers, the brilliant cerulean that always welcomed her was overridden by the blackness of a starless sky. The unrelenting passion and desire Lexa knew was eating within her own soul, reflected back at her in Clarke’s. It was the most breathtaking thing she’d ever seen. So much so, that Lexa’s voice was trapped her throat. Words, the very thought of them ungraspable in any way at this point. But if their connection was as strong as Lexa had grown to believe it was, then she knew if she just gave Clarke the right signal, she’d pick up on her request.

**_‘I want you, Clarke.’_** She sent it through every vibe in her body, willing Clarke to hear her call. And just like magic, the realization dawned on Clarke quickly. Without a second to spare, Clarke was nodding her consent.

**_‘I want you too, Lexa.’_** A growl rumbled within Lexa’s chest as she felt the tingle of Clarke’s desire crawl up her spine.

Without any further hesitation, Lexa crashed their lips together once again.

***

Another moan escaped Clarke’s mouth as she felt Lexa’s hands caressing the sides of her body. Searching for all her secrets, and succeeding far better than any of Clarke’s past lovers ever managed to do. Clarke placed both her hands-on Lexa’s shoulders to anchor herself, as the brunette pulled Clarke’s body into her lap. Their lips continued to dance with one another with elegance and grace. Neither woman really fighting to dominate the other.

After the initial collision, it had turned into a path of careful, delicate respect. One of Clarke’s hands traveled into the wilds of Lexa’s mane, the other still clinging onto her shoulder; while Lexa pulled Clarke in so close, she felt they would merge if she tried any harder.

But the heat between them stoked even further. Suddenly they weren’t close enough. The tenderness of their kissing wasn’t hungry enough. They needed to feel more. More of each other.

Before Clarke could realize what she was doing, the lower half of her body began to grind on Lexa’s stomach. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t wanted Lexa. Shit, she’s wanted Lexa far longer than she felt comfortable disclosing, and feeling Lexa’s hands on her body was only making that rise even further. When her clothed clit hit the outline of Lexa’s jacket covered abs, a filthy moan she had no idea she was capable of making, broke their kiss.

It seemed she wasn’t the only one affected by it however.

In an instant, both Lexa’s hands cradled Clarke’s ass and underneath her thighs before Clarke felt herself being hoisted up in the air as Lexa stood up off the couch. Clarke moaned again at the show of pure strength from the younger woman, and instinctively wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and legs around her waist. They stared at each other for another moment. Both breathing in excess as their hearts drummed together to the tempo created by the surrounding tension.

**_“Bed?”_** Lexa’s voice sounded feral, and yet controlled as she was again asking Clarke for permission.

Clarke nodded vigorously then started kissing along Lexa’s neck. Lexa growled approvingly and wasted no time getting them to Clarke’s room on the other side of her house. Once Lexa reached Clarke’s room, she balanced the shorter woman so that she held Clarke close to her body with one arm, and carefully closed the door with the other. Clarke barely registered the action but once she did, another flow of arousal escaped her body.

**_‘Holy fuck, she’s so damn strong.’_** The thought fueling Clarke to nibble possessively at Lexa’s neck. When Clarke’s teeth gently bit into Lexa’s pulse point, a feral moan erupted from the fighter’s chest out her mouth, and Lexa unhinged once again. She switched arms that were keeping Clarke afloat; the free one forcefully grasping the back of Clarke’s neck. She pulled the blonde off of her own and collided their lips together again, and this time Lexa took complete control over the kiss.

_“mmmm”_ Clarke moaned into Lexa’s mouth as the kiss became nothing but clashing lips and teeth. Clarke trying and failing to fight Lexa for dominance. She was always used to being on top and having all the control, but with how Lexa’s been handling her so far, she could really care less right now.

***

Lexa showed an odd moment of gentleness as she broke the kiss and sat Clarke onto the edge of her bed. Once Clarke was situated, they began to peal the layers of clothing from each other.

Lexa, pushing Clarke’s robe down her shoulders, and throwing it to the side.

 Clarke, fully unzipping and removing Lexa’s gym jacket before they started kissing again.

Lexa’s fingers reached for the hem of Clarke’s shirt and once it was in her grasp, she stopped kissing Clarke, and lifted the offending material from Clarke’s body.

Lexa’s breath caught in her throat as her eyes were met with Clarke’s beautiful, full breasts, pink nipples, and creamy white, delicate skin. Lexa knew most women didn’t wear bra’s once they were set to stay home for the night, but still, seeing Clarke’s fully nude top was causing her brain to short circuit in ways she never knew possible. She was a portrait of female perfection, her curves, even more lushes than before.

_“Y-you’re so beautiful…”_ The words escaped her lips, as her eyes remained hypnotized by the woman before her.

Clarke chuckled as her bottom lip slipped between her teeth, a mischievous yet lustful look making home in her eyes. After Lexa remained unmoved for several minutes, Clarke took the reins. She gently captured one of Lexa’s hands and guided it to one of her breasts. Both gasped at the contact before Clarke said seductively, _“Touch me, Lex.”_

That was all the motivation Lexa needed. She began to caress the soft flesh in her hand, the other rubbing Clarke’s side, while her mouth found purchase on Clarke’s neck.

_“Oh, god.”_ Clarke gasped as Lexa continued her ministrations; the fighters’ mouth creating a path of kissing, sucking, and nibbling till she was met with Clarke’s other breast. She took the erect pink bud there into her mouth. Devouring it. Savoring it. Lavishing it with her tongue; causing Clarke to heave through her breathing with great effort. Clarke’s nails burying into the fighters’ hair again and scraping at the back of her neck as Lexa switched between peaks. Teasing her mercilessly.

***

Clarke was loving how Lexa was servicing her, but she need more. So much more.

So, she started pull at the hem of Lexa’s shirt, letting her know what she wanted. Lexa reluctantly obliged. She disconnected herself from Clarke’s ample bosom, and removed her shirt, then her sports bra.

Now it was Clarke’s turn to gawk. She’s seen Lexa in her training gear many times, but the relative situation they were in caused her usual reactions to spiral out of control. She bit back a moan as her eyes unabashedly roamed over her friend…now lover’s body. You’d think with all the scars she’d be off put, but that was far from the case. Lexa’s body, scars, tattoos and all, was a sculptors’ masterpiece. The finely tone, yet lean muscles of her sides, shoulders, and biceps. The inhuman six pack ridges of her abs painted by tanned, art-filled skin. The smaller, but heavenly lift of her breasts. Their height difference doing nothing to help her find any chill what so ever. Lexa was a tall drink of water, and Clarke was thirsty as hell; ready to dive in.

Clarke was brought back to reality when a strong hand caressed the side of her cheek. Dark blue met dark green, and a silent exchange of affection passed through them. Lexa’s thumb gently glided over Clarke’s soft cheekbone, before she brought their lips together again for a tender, passionate kiss.

Lexa began to undo her sweatpants, as Clarke’s hands road mapped her torso. Planting light kisses along the scars she could reach. Shivers ran down Lexa’s spine at Clarke touch. It was graceful, yet superb, everything Lexa wanted and needed. Clarke showed no fear or disgust with her body, even when she knew the horrible truths. And Lexa has never felt more grateful.

A small cry broke from Lexa’s mouth as Clarke took a dusk nipple into her mouth and suckled with purpose. Lexa kicked her pants to the side once they dropped, and pulled Clarke’s head closer into her chest. Her mouth hung open and soft moans left her lips as Clarke playfully bit and suckled one of her peaks, then kissed the valley between them while traveling to the other. The blondes’ nails scratching lightly at her sides.

Lexa’s heart was pounding with vigor. She loved how Clarke was touching her. The raw emotion that just the feel of her lips and hands were digging out of her were bringing her close to the edge. But she refused to fall. **_‘No, not yet. Not until I’ve thanked her properly.’_**

Lexa removed Clarke from her chest gently, then kissed her lips fully. Every feeling that lingered within her heart, coming fully to the surface with the hope that Clarke would understand and share it too.

_“Lay back.”_ Lexa carefully commanded. Clarke nodded and did as she was told. _“Take them off.”_ Lexa demanded lightly as her eyes traveled to the boy shorts the blonde had been wearing.

Clarke took her bottom lip into her teeth as she teasingly pulled the shorts and her now ruined underwear down her pale legs; eyes locked onto the Lexa the whole time.

Lexa did the same with her own boxer briefs and both threw their last pieces of clothing to the side, lost somewhere with the rest of them. Lexa couldn’t fight the urge to lick her lips when she saw how soaked Clarke had been. She thought she’d be the only one who was embarrassingly wet between them, but she was gravely mistaken. Her sex drive kicked into high gear at the sight and she wasted no time making her way to Clarke.

Lexa grabbed either side of Clarke’s hips and pulled her towards herself. Clarke gasped as Lexa lifted Clarke’s legs, placing them on her muscled shoulders, making herself right at home. They stared at one another as Lexa nuzzled her nose against the finely trimmed golden hair there; enjoying the aroma of Clarke’s arousal. Her hot breath, mere centimeters from Clarke’s glistening core; the anticipation causing Clarke’s chest to rise and fall dramatically.

Lexa smirked devilishly back at her and said, _“You, are mine.”_

Clarke didn’t have time to process the possessive claim because suddenly Lexa swiped her tongue through the pink dripping folds in front of her. Clarke’s body canted in reaction. Lexa licked a few times through them before her mouth was wrapped around Clarke’s clit. A soft scream broke from Clarke’s mouth and the back of her head hit the bed beneath them as Lexa went to work on her most sensitive spot.

_“Oh, fuck.”_ Clarke was a writhing mess as Lexa drew circles with her tongue. Switching between smaller rapid ones and larger slower ones. Causing sensation after sensation to jolt through Clarke’s body at various rates.

_“Oh, shit, Lex…”_ Clarke gripped onto Lexa’s hair as Lexa continued pleasuring her. Clarke couldn’t fight the urge to move her hips. Her eyes shutting tightly as she continued to fuck Lexa’s mouth like her life depended on it. The brunette wrapped her hands around Clarke’s legs, pulling her cunt further into her mouth.

_“Oh, my, fucking, god…I-ohhh.”_ A sharp scream broke in her throat as Lexa traveled from her clit to her dripping hole.

Lexa moaned as her tongue dove into the warm, wet heat of Clarke’s cunt. Clarke gasping harder, nails digging deep into Lexa’s scalp.

She went in and out a few times before breaking away, saying, _“Fuck, Clarke, you taste so fucking good.”,_ and drilled her tongue right back home where it belonged.

Clarke had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep herself from screaming as she came shockingly. Between what Lexa was doing, what she had said, and how she was moaning into her cunt every time drops of Clarke’s arousal went down her throat and chin, she couldn’t keep herself from cumming even if she wanted to. She was sure if she hadn’t covered her mouth, it would have been loud enough to wake up Aden a few rooms down the hall.

Lexa cleaned all the cum from Clarke’s cunt, but then she gave Clarke little to no time to rest as she moved back to her clit and started rapidly flicking it with the tip of her tongue. Clarke wasn’t used to cumming more than once (if ever) with her partners since she became highly sensitive afterwards. Her voice was practically gone, so she tried to tap Lexa, but the woman seemed to be on a mission because she refused to stop.

Lexa continued to lick, suck, and nibble at Clarke’s clit like a starved animal. The high sensitivity making Clarke become aroused again almost instantly, and had her eyes rolling into the back of her head as she started fucking Lexa’s tongue all over again. The pleasure she was feeling had caused the coiling sensation in Clarke’s belly to grow to new heights by the second. She could feel another orgasm fast approaching within her. The edge so close again, much faster than before.

_“Oh, god, fuck…L-Lex…I-I’m close, I’m close…”_

With that Lexa removed her mouth from Clarke’s core and made her way up Clarke’s body. The blonde felt frustration and was about to protest the sudden holt of Lexa’s actions, but then she felt two long fingers delve right into her sopping hole. Lexa quickly covered Clarke’s responding scream with her mouth. Enjoying the feeling of her lovers’ air being forced into her lungs. Lexa kept her fingers still inside of Clarke for moment, allowing her to adjust to the sudden stretch, kissing her around her face in the meantime.

_“Please, Lexa, I need you, now.”_ Clarke said once she was ready.

_“As you wish.”_ Lexa responded before she started a steady pace within Clarke. Lexa’s long, strong fingers reached places deep inside her she never thought another woman’s hands could possibly go. She felt so full, and Lexa fit so perfectly, she was sure by the end of the night she was gonna be ruined for anyone else. But she loved it. **_‘Because I don’t want anyone else.’_**

Clarke wanted more. She needed more.

_“Faster.”_ Clarke demanded and Lexa obliged, picking up the pace. They breathed heavily into each other’s mouths as Lexa fucked Clarke faster, harder, and somehow deeper than before. Clarke began to rotate her hips, meeting Lexa’s thrusts each time. Clarke positioned one of her thighs between Lexa’s legs, giving the fighter an opportunity to ride her as she pumped in and out of her.

Lexa had gotten so wet from pleasuring Clarke that Clarke’s leg was covered in her slick in mere seconds. The change in position also allowed Lexa to rotate her pelvis behind her hand, causing her thrust to not only be fast and deep, but forceful against Clarke’s clit. Both women were moaning into each other’s necks. Desperately clinging to one another as they picked up their speed.

Clarke had been so built up from cumming once already and Lexa eating her out, that it didn’t take long for her to reach that peak again. _“Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”_

Lexa was close too, but she needed one more thing before she could reach her edge. _“Clarke…are you mine?”_ She whispered the question seductively into Clarke’s ear.

_“Lex…”_

_“Say it.”_ Lexa demanded. She didn’t know why, but something inside of her just need it. She needed to know that this wasn’t a spare of the moment thing. That there would be so much more after this. That Clarke would finally be hers, and hers alone. Lexa slowed down then made Clarke have eye contact with her. _“Only if you mean it.”_ She heaved. _“Clarke…if this…if this will be more than just tonight…tell me…please tell me you are mine.”_

Clarke felt her heart swell at Lexa’s words. She could see past all the lust and passion, that she was serious. Lexa was serious about wanting Clarke. Wanting more than friendship. More than just being Aden’s mentor. More than wanting her body. But all of it, all of her. Clarke nodded then said, _“I’m yours.”_ A smile of pure joy; face lined with unaltered emotion.

Lexa smiled back, her expression matching Clarke’s as she resumed fucking Clarke into oblivion. _“Mine.”_

_“Y-yes.”_ Clarke moaned, the end drawing nearer. _“I-I’m y-yours…L-Lex…aaaaa!”_

Lexa kissed Clarke hard as they both screamed their release. Both finally getting what they needed from the other. Physically, but equal parts emotionally as well.

They smiled as they came down from their highs, and collapsed out of pure exhaustion. Lexa’s head was buried between Clarke’s breasts, both heaving against one another.

Clarke, fully sated for the first time in her life, began to lazily stroke her fingers through Lexa’s hair.

_“So…”_ Clarke said after a few moments.

_“….so…”_ Lexa responded sleepily.

_“…you planning on taking ya fingers out any time soon?”_

_“…mmmhmmm…in…a.…”_

Clarke chuckled as she heard soft snores begin to come out of the now passed out bruiting fighter. _“Guess that’s a no.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, a lot happened this chapter huh? Lol Yeahhh, I’m sorry this took so long, life got in the way as usual, but here it is. 
> 
> Writing smut is not my strong point so I’m sorry if it’s not all that good. I was leaning towards more emotional sex for their first time than anything else. I’m gonna make things very fighting career, fluffy and humor heavy going forward with light angst here and there, so I hope that’s coolio.
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you think. Are you happy they finally kissed? That they did way more than kiss after? Was the sex scene good/tasteful enough? That they’re FINALLY together officially? What are you looking forward to? I love hearing from you guys. And if you have any prompt or suggestions you wanna see in this series let me know. If it fits with what I’ve already got cooking then I might just do it.
> 
> Please leave me some love in the form of comments and/or kudos, they fuel my creativity, and thank you as always everyone!


	21. “…So You Can Make Me Whole”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke & Lexa’s POV. The Morning After. Fluff with some mature content.

Chapter 21: “…So You Can Make Me Whole”

Safe.

For the first time since her father lost his life. That’s the first thing Lexa feels when she finds herself stirring. Her body is relaxed, unbothered and…oddly warm? It’s not what she’s really used to. The unfamiliarity of that revelation makes her finally open her eyes, and what she sees, the gods of old could never truly grasp.

Beauty at its finest hour is what Lexa would call waking up to a snoozing Clarke. Lexa is laying on top of her. Head still snuggled between her bosom. Clarke’s hands still resting in her hair as she last remembered. Her chest steadily rising and falling as air circulates through her body, and seemingly into Lexa’s. The fighter’s hands had managed to find their way from inside Clarke, to holding onto her right breast while her other arm was wrapped snuggly under Clarke’s body. Part of her feels like she should be embarrassed, but then memories from the night before resurface. So, pleasant, so hot, everything she’s ever wanted, and yet not enough at the same time. **_‘Does that make me greedy?’_** She wonders to herself, but then the most distinct of all the details of last night hits her mind.

_‘I’m yours.’_

That’s what she said. Clarke had definitively and proudly stated that she, was Lexa’s. Her voice was sure even through her heavy breathing, and left no room for doubt to take root. That fact alone filled Lexa with so much pride. So much joy. Pure unadulterated, happiness. And she hopes that when her goddess with the golden waves and the bluest of eyes wakes, it’ll be just as fond of a realization for her too.

Not a moment too soon, the woman beneath her began to wake. Lexa smiled as she watched Clarke’s brows crinkle as her eyes fluttered open, and her arms raised over her head in an effort to stretch out her sleeping muscles. **_‘So adorable’_** Lexa thought, making no attempts to remove herself from her position.

***

_“The hell…?”_ Clarke said as she tried to adjust to the unfamiliar weight atop her body. She’d never slept so soundly in such a long time. At least not without Aden beside her, or more recently… ** _’Lexa…?’_**

Clarke’s eyes finally opened fully. They widened as she looked down to see the face of the most beautiful woman in the word looking right at her. A smile of sincerity, on both her mouth and within her irises. It was oddly contagious, because Clarke began to smile too.

_“Hey.”_ Clarke said, sleep still evident in her voice.

_“Hey to you too.”_ Lexa’s smile growing impossibly larger.

Clarke repeated the same motion. Her eyes landed on the hand that was sitting on one of her breast and she chuckled. _“Comfortable much?”_

_“Never more so in all my life.”_ Lexa said with a playful squeeze to Clarke’s breast in her hand. _“Greatest pillows my head has ever slept on.”_

Clarke laughed at her then swatted her head. _“Oh, shut up and come kiss my ass already.”_

_“Wait, you want me to kiss your ass? Well that sounds delightful.”_ Lexa said as her hands moved to cup Clarke’s butt.

Clarke squealed, hitting Lexa again before pulling her up by the neck and kissing her hard.

_“mmmm.”_ Lexa smiled into the kiss. _“So that’s what you meant?”_ Lexa said as they broke away for a moment, her body settling itself more comfortably on top of Clarke with one of her legs trapped between the older woman’s own.

Clarke slowly nodded, her body reacting automatically to the change in position. _“Yeah.”_

_“Did you sleep okay?”_ Lexa asked having remembered how they were when she knocked out so suddenly.

_“mmmhmmm. Was a bit of an adjustment, not at all unpleasant though.”_ Clarke winked, making Lexa giggle. _“And you, how’d you sleep?”_

Lexa debated to herself for a moment before answering. _“I have to admit, I’ve never done the whole ‘sleep over’ thing with any of my previous partners.”_

Clarke’s brow quirked in question. _“Oh?”_

Lexa nodded. _“I wanted there to be no chance of attachment afterword. Not even the slightest hint that I cared for them or wanted more from them than that moment.”_ Lexa swallowed. _“I never…trusted…anyone enough to let my guard down like that before. To be so raw, and vulnerable. But, it’s different right now. I felt…I feel…safe, with you.”_ Lexa admitted wholeheartedly. _“I trust you, Clarke.”_

It took everything in Clarke to not cry right there on the spot. Lexa looked so small, and unsure. But not of her own feelings or what she was saying, but rather of Clarke’s reaction to it all. **_‘She really does care about me.’_**

Clarke rewarded Lexa’s courage by smiling in earnest tranquility, and caressed her strong jawline with soft hands. _“I trust you too, Lexa.”_ She said it, and damn it did she mean it.

_“Really?”_ Lexa asked, her voice broken a bit with all the emotions welling in her chest.

_“Yes.”_

_“Can I kiss you again?”_ Lexa asked in a hushed voice, her nose nuzzling Clarke’s.

_“mmhmm.”_ Clarke answered as she stared into green through lidded eyes. Lexa dived in without a second thought. Capturing Clarke’s lips in a searing, passionate kiss. It was as if Lexa was clawing at the hinges with need, and her request could only be satiated by Clarke herself. She’d never felt so wanted. So, needed in all her life. **_‘Please, never stop kissing me.’_** Clarke thought as her hands tangled in the mess of brunette hair blanketing them.

Lexa’s hands roamed Clarke’s body, practicing what she had learned the night before. And learn, she did. Clarke moaned into the kiss as one of Lexa’s hands fondled her right breast, the other wrapping around her neck; while her thigh placed itself perfectly against Clarke’s core. Lexa gasped into their kiss this time at feeling how wet Clarke had already become. Clarke wasn’t sure on whether or not she should be embarrassed about it, seeing as how they’d only been kissing and Lexa had barely touched her. **_‘Who am I kidding? Just watching this woman exist is all I need.’_**

_“Do you want me to stop?”_ Lexa asked, her breath heavy in her chest. Giving Clarke a chance to bring things to a halt if she wasn’t ready.

_“No.”_ Clarke answered quickly. She knew there was so much they needed to talk about: Them officially being together now. Last night. What’s happening right now. They’ve been just riding the coat tails of their unleashed emotions, but no true conversation about _‘Them’_ has yet to be had. But right now, in this moment. With this gorgeous masterpiece of a woman baring her soul to her and wanting to have her way with her, Clarke couldn’t care less. _“Please, don’t stop.”_

Lexa nodded and began to gyrate her hips. The muscles in her thighs hitting Clarke’s clit just the right way, causing her own hips to dance in time with them.

_“Oh shit.”_ Clarke expelled softly into the kiss that had only grew desperate as their movements drew harder and faster. Clarke wasn’t sure how long she’d last at this point as her body began to make that familiar climb. It was unbelievable how fast Lexa could get her as high as the ceiling with minimum effort as far as Clarke could attest. **_‘Maybe it’s because it’s her. Maye…it’s because she’s the woman I’m…’_** The very thought itself. The thought of falling for Lexa already, and so indefinitely, was the straw that broke her.

_“Oh!”_ Her eyes shot open and the essence of sound trapped itself in her throat as her body rang the bells of her powerful release. She was sure she could see the birds flying around her as her soul soared through the sky. Lexa wasn’t content with that though, because before Clarke could even come down, two strong fingers plunged inside, nestling into the deepest parts of her. Pumping in and out at neck breaking speed. Her hips pushing forward to apply even harder pressure. **_‘I-is s-she...t-trying to…kill mehh…!’_** Even Clarke’s thoughts were beyond her reach.

_“Ah! Oh, god!”_ The words barely able to be shelled in any form of comprehension. Her eyes seeing into her brain, as her nails dug deep crescent moons into the fighters seemingly unbreakable skin. Clarke was sure there was no way she was going to survive this. It seems she’ll have to get used to the fact that Lexa will never be happy with Clarke only experiencing death and rebirth once during their times together.

_“Look at me, Clarke.”_ Lexa begged affectionately, her pacing never letting up for even a moment.

Clarke moaned deeply, her only ability it would seem.

_“Please.”_ Lexa begged again, slowing just enough to allow Clarke some respite.

Clarke, finally given some form of mercy, looked into Lexa’s eyes as best she could. _“Lex?”_

_“Keep looking at me.”_ Her speed going back to its original pace. _“I want to watch you.”_

Clarke had to fight with her everything to keep from screaming aloud.

_“I want to see what it looks like”_ Lexa’s voice so deeply saturated with lust. _“when an angel finally returns to heaven.”_

The addition of a third and final finger was Clarke’s ultimate undoing. Lexa used her free hand to cover Clarke’s mouth, muffling her cries so she would not alert her probably still sleeping son a few doors down from them. Her fingers moving slower this time, helping Clarke’s visit outside her body last just a tad bit longer.

***

When Clarke was finally able to return to the world of the living, she tapped her hand against Lexa’s arms. A silent admission that she was too sensitive to have Lexa in her and on her any longer. Lexa complied by removing herself completely and flopping to _‘her side’_ of the bed. Both women heaved as they lay beside each other, trying to catch their breaths after another intense work out. The silence between them broke when Clarke started to quietly laugh.

Lexa turned her head and looked at the blonde woman with a raised brow, _“What?”_

Clarke shook her head, a smile planted on her face as she tried to stop laughing. _“Nothing.”_

_“Not nothing. Why’re you laughing?”_

_“Because.”_

_“…because?”_

Clarke looked at Lexa, her face full of amusement. _“Who knew ‘The Commander’ could be so cheesy in bed?”_

Lexa’s face scrounged in confusion. _“Cheesy? How am I cheesy?”_

Clarke cleared her throat before speaking in a tone intended to imitate Lexa, _“I want to see what it looks like, when an angel finally returns to heaven.”_ Clarke couldn’t help laughing again.

_“Oh.”_ Lexa fought the urge to become bashful, instead feigning confidence. _“Well, if you don’t like it then…”_

_“I never said I didn’t.”_ Clarke interrupted, a sweet smile on her face. _“I think it’s really cute actually.”_

Lexa propped herself up on one arm, smiling, her gaze firmly locked on Clarke. _“Cute, huh?”_

_“mmhmm, wouldn’t have it any other way.”_

Silence fell between them as they remained laying there. Looking deeply into each other’s eyes. **_‘I can’t get enough of this woman.’_** Lexa thinks to herself.

_“So,”_ Clarke says a moment later.

_“So,”_

_“Um, I know we’ve already done some things…more than once now…”_

_“Some things. That what we’re calling it now?”_ Lexa said smugly.

_“Shut up,”_ Clarke said as she swatted Lexa’s arm, then intertwined their fingers. _“Listen, okay?”_

Lexa welcomed the lacing of their fingers, and rubbed her thumb gently along Clarke’s hand. _“Okay, okay. Go ahead.”_

_“I wanted to ask you, um, so, uhh…”_

Lexa could sense the rising anxiety within her lover, so she decided that maybe she should take some initiative in quelling her obvious fears. _“I want to be with you, Clarke.”_ Her voice, sure and unwavering in its determination. _“I can’t be just your friend anymore when you’ve grown to mean so much to me.”_

Clarke looked between her Lexa’s eyes, gauging on whether or not there was any falsehood to her words. There wasn’t. _“Me too. So, you really wanna do this? Us?”_

_“I’d like nothing more. But, I do have a question, how do you think Aden would feel? You know, about us?”_

_“Oh, right.”_ To be honest, Clarke was more than sure Aden wouldn’t object to them starting something. _“Truthfully, I think he’s been trying to push me towards your direction for quite some time now.”_

_“Really?”_

_“mmmhmmm. He’s like you when it comes to talking about feelings, he does it in code until he can’t anymore. He tries getting me to invite you to a lot of things, excluding himself, you know, so we can be alone together. Thinking he’s crafty about it. He even told me that he saw how happy you made me and that he approved of it.”_

_“Seriously?”_

Clarke nodded. _“In so many words, but when he did that, I think he was trying to convince me to ask you out.”_

_“That little match-making sneak.”_ Both women chuckled at the thought of Aden plotting ways to get them together. _“Either way, before we go any further, I would like it if we sat down and talked to him about all this.”_

_“All of it?”_ Clarke said teasingly.

Lexa felt her cheeks warm as a flash of last night and moments ago echoed in her head. She cleared her throat, _“Well, not ALL of it, obviously. Just the part about us having feels and wanting to give it a shot.”_

_“Having feels huh?”_ Clarke scurried her way towards Lexa.

Lexa smiled, _“Yeah. Lots and lots of feels.”_

_“Wanna tell me what those feels are exactly?”_ Clarke’s voice, dropping an octave.

_“Why don’t I just show you?”_ Lexa said before kissing Clarke again, hard.

***

Two hours in bed and a shared shower later found both women finally leaving the confides of the nest they had built for themselves within Clarke’s room. Clarke started up some tea and a late breakfast in the kitchen, while Lexa went off to wake up Aden. Lexa prepared herself before she finally knocked on the door.

_“I’m up mom, you can come in.”_

Lexa knew that Aden was saying it thinking it was Clarke at his door, but she couldn’t help the feeling of warmth that raced through her heart at the thought of Aden addressing her in the same respect someday. **_‘Calm down Lexa, you haven’t even told him you’re seeing his mother yet.’_** She shook her head then opened the door enough to let the top half of her body in. _“Hey, little man, mind if I intrude?”_ She said as she came into the room.

Aden picked his head up from the comic he was reading at the sound of that familiar voice. _“Lexa!?”_

Lexa nodded, unsure if she would be welcomed considering she did dodge the boy’s attempts at seeing her for a week. **_‘Major fuck up on my end there.’_**

But any worry she had that the boy had become cross with her disappeared in an instant as he jumped off his bed and lunged right into her. His arms wrapping around her tightly, while he rested his head against her belly. _“Whoa! Everything okay, bud?”_

_“You’re here.”_ He mumbled into her stomach. _“I’m not dreaming, right? You’re actually here?”_

Lexa engulfed him into her arms, pulling him even further into herself. Leaving no room for doubt. _“I’m here, kid. I’m here.”_ They stayed that way for a moment before Lexa spoke again, _“I’m so, so very sorry for disappearing on you like I did. You didn’t deserve that. I was going through something, and wasn’t handling it very well, that being said, I should have at least come to tell you I was okay and not to worry, but I didn’t. For that, I’m truly sorry, can you ever forgive me Aden?”_

Aden nodded his head furiously against her, then broke away so she could hear him. _“Yeah, of course I forgive you Lex. I honestly wasn’t even mad at you. I was just scared that something bad happened to you and I missed you so much.”_

Lexa smiled at the undeniable truth in his eyes. _“I missed you too, little man.”_ She scuffed his shaggy blonde hair in that way she knew made him feel safe. _“Your mom is making breakfast, you hungry?”_

_“Heck yeah!”_ Aden said before racing off into the kitchen. Lexa laughed as she followed behind him. Content knowing everything between them was okay.

***

After breakfast and Lexa clearing the table, the three of them sat together. Lexa and Clarke beside each other with Aden across from them.

_“Mind if we talk to you about something, Aden?”_ Clarke asked.

_“Sure, go ahead mom, what’s up?”_

Clarke looked to Lexa for conformation, Lexa nodded while holding her breath.

_“I know that Lexa has become very special to you, and that the two of you have bonded so much over the last few months. I absolutely love it, and wouldn’t want to do anything to change that between you two.”_ Clarke said as smoothly as she could, Aden nodding along. _“But, admittedly, Lexa has become somewhat special to me too.”_ Clarke looks to Lexa. _“And I like her…”_ Lexa looks to Clarke, a shyness, rarely ever spotted, in her demeanor. _“…I like her a lot.”_

_“I like you too, Clarke.”_ Lexa smiles at her. The affection radiating from her body in waves that she’s sure would cast a boat far from its shores. Clarke, biting her lip to keep her own at bay.

_“So, you guys like each other?”_ Aden asked, breaking their impromptu staring session. They returned their attention to him, slightly embarrassed for acting like a bunch of giddy teens in front of the boy. _“As in, ‘like like’ each other?”_

Lexa nodded, then reached her hand over the table, grasping Clarke’s. _“Yes, and I want to take her out on a date, but not before asking your permission. I know this might seem odd, your family friend and mentor, dating your mother. I’ve been feeling something for Clarke for quite some time now and I’m ready to finally take a chance and put myself out there with her. But again, I won’t do anything without your blessing. You both mean the world to me, Aden, so your approval is what truly matters.”_

Silence.

For two, whole suffering induced minutes, Aden hadn’t said a word. The boy remained still, only his eyes moving between the two women and their conjoined hands.

Lexa’s nerves began to kick in right after the first minute had passed. **_‘Dammit, I fucked this up.’_** She thought to herself. **_‘He probably thinks this is way too weird. What if he’s disgusted by the idea of it? His mom dating another woman. Clarke said he knew she was bi, and I’m so obviously gay that even a blind man would see it. And he seemed to try and egg Clarke on before. But maybe knowing it and seeing it is different for him. Is he gonna hate me now? Am I about to lose my chance at having them in my life because I was so stupid enough to finally follow my fucking heart instead of my head? Fuck.’_**

Lexa was about to let go of Clarke’s hand when Aden stood up from his chair and made his way behind them. Instinctively, they both stood as well and looked at him. Before either knew what was happening, Aden tackled them, wrapping an arm around each of their waists and snuggling his head into their bodies at the middle, same as he had done with Lexa earlier.

_“Are you, okay A?”_ Clarke asked with both shock and concern tethering her voice.

Aden nodded his head and sniffled. Teary blue eyes met worried greens and blues. _“Finally!”_ He said, a tear rolling down his cheek.

_“Finally?”_ Lexa asked, completely taken aback.

_“I’ve been waiting so long for you two to finally see what I saw.”_

_“Really?”_ Clarke asked, smiling at her son with so much appreciation. _“And what exactly did you see?”_

_“That you two were meant to be.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait, July was a very upsetting month for various reasons, but I hope this chapter makes up for the delay. 
> 
> Like I said before, the remainder of this fic will go more the light fluffy domestic side, with dashes of angst here and there where it fits, so I hope that’s okay. Again, writing sex scenes aren’t my gift, but I’m aiming for more love making than anything else so I hope that shined through. And I thought it only makes sense that they talk to Aden immediately after before they started anything serious. 
> 
> Tell me what you thought of it in the comments. I love the feedback, and if you want you can find me on Tumblr: @wolfjillyjill

**Author's Note:**

> And it has begun. I started thinking of this story on my way home and said what the hell! Lol what do you guys think? Should I keep this going? Is anyone interested in seeing how this plays out? Please leave your thoughts in the comments and any love with some kudos. Thank you! - WolfJillyJill


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